He smiled. “I love the way it smells—”
“It smells like smoke.”
“Shh. I love how it clings to my stubble.”
She liked where this was going, but she kept still just in case she was wrong. Because it wouldn’t be the first time.
“And when you’re truly pissed off,” he said, “it gleams like fire. Just like you.” He pressed his face into her hair and squeezed her hard. “Christ, Soph, you scared ten years off my life today.”
“I didn’t mean to.”
“I know.” He touched his forehead to hers. “I was wrong about some things.”
She didn’t move. Hell, she didn’t even breathe. “Were you?”
He smiled a little, not daunted in the least at her frosty tone. “A lot of things, actually. All of it regarding you and my ability to resist falling for you, and falling hard, Soph. You’re always on my mind.”
How was she supposed to hold on to her anger at a guy who wasn’t scared off by her mercurial moods or her temperament, a man could see through all of her BS and still love her? “Keep talking,” she said.
“I think about your eyes,” he told her. “How that deep green cuts right through me, past my armor, straight to the meat of things.”
“And by armor, you mean your stubborn obstinacy?”
He smiled, not insulted. “You see me,” he said simply, banishing the last of her resistance.
“What else?” she whispered, soft and warm now, no longer braced for rejection.
“I love how your pulse quickens when I touch you. You tremble for more and your lips part, begging for my kiss…” He leaned in, and she stopped him with a hand to his chest.
“You sure this isn’t a sex dream?” she asked.
He flashed that grin she loved. “Sometimes. Lots of times,” he admitted. His fingers were loosely fisted in her hair, like he’d really missed the craziness of it. “Other times it’s your laugh. And the way you have of disagreeing with everything I say—”
“I do not!”
He laughed and kissed her pouty mouth. “Okay,” he said. “But you do.” He touched her face, his own going serious. “When I first came back to Cedar Ridge, I didn’t think I deserved to be loved by any of my family. By anyone,” he said. “And I sure as hell didn’t deserve you. But I realized I was wrong, that I was my own worst enemy.”
She was impressed by his growth, and proud. And…envious. “When did you figure all this out?” she asked. “Was it a hammer-over-the-head moment, or was it more gradual?” She genuinely needed to know. Her entire life had been a whole bunch of clusterfuck moments until it’d all sunk in. She needed to know how it was for him. She didn’t want this to be just about the boat fire, about him nearly losing her, because she didn’t see it like that. Yes, the fire had been awful, and she’d be dealing with the ramifications for a long time to come, but she hadn’t almost died. She would have gotten out on her own. So she didn’t want him back in her arms because of a single incident. She wanted him because he couldn’t live without her.
“No hammer,” he said. “Just a series of gradual moments, starting that first day when you dropped a pink vibrator at my feet.”
She narrowed her eyes. “That wasn’t my vibrator!”
He laughed, and she knew it was because she was arguing with him again. “And,” he went on, “I really liked it when you tried to tell me why your boat should be allowed to break the rules and moor overnight on the lake.”
“It’s a stupid rule!”
He was still smiling, a contagious, warm, sexy smile. “And then there was when you got trashed by the Scotch—”
“Okay, that wasn’t drunk,” she said. “That was…cozily tipsy.”
“And watching you make friends with Kenna. Or when you gave Chris’s name to Hud to get him here for this weekend. It was when you told me about your past and let me in. All those things added up to me loving you,” he said. “I just couldn’t imagine deserving you to love me back.”
She felt her smile fade, and she reached up and set her hands on his jaw. “Jacob,” she murmured, her heart breaking. “Jacob, I—”
He set a finger on her mouth, halting her words. “But then I realized something,” he whispered as he slowly traced her lower lip. “I couldn’t expect you to return my feelings if I couldn’t let you in.” He dropped his finger and replaced it with his mouth.
“You ruined me with all the openness,” she murmured against his lips. “The communication.”
He grinned. “I ruined you in all sorts of other ways too. And you liked them, every single one of them.”
She flushed and gave him a little push that didn’t so much as budge him. “Full of yourself much?”
“Just optimistic.”
“How unlike you,” she said.
His grin widened, and his hold on her tightened. “I learned it from this amazing, headstrong, selfless, sexy-as-all-get-out woman I’ve been hanging out with lately…”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
She was laughing as she shook her head and pulled his down to hers. “Smug bastard,” she said, and kissed him.
“Does that mean you can’t live without me?”
“It means that you can’t live without me,” she corrected.
He let out a low laugh. “Oh, baby, don’t I know it.” He cupped her face. “I love you, Soph. The forever kind of love that survives stupid fights and transcends time and place.”
Her heart kicked hard, racing, pounding in all her pulse points. “Are you asking me to wait for you?”
“Yes,” he said without hesitation.
She’d asked the question, so it was silly to suddenly need a moment, but she did. She pulled at his shirt, trying to get it over his head, but he caught her wrists in his.
“I want you to stay,” he said. “Here. In the cabin.” His eyes were fierce, his body hard. He wasn’t playing.
Leaning in, she kissed his stern mouth. “I don’t really know how to do this, Jacob. Just because it’s hard for me to speak my feelings doesn’t mean I don’t feel them. Because I do. I love you.”
His eyes softened, but nothing else did. “And…?”
“And I know you have to go, but I want my good-bye.”
His gaze held hers, revealing the heat, her need. “Babe, I’m on borrowed time here,” he said regretfully.
“Then you should hurry.”
He groaned and kissed her, but it wasn’t the hard, heated kiss she’d expected. It was slow, leisurely, like they had all the time in the world.
And only when she’d forgotten herself and the fact that he was indeed leaving, only when she could think of nothing but the sensual desire sliding through her belly, did he lower her to his bed and strip her piece by agonizing piece, his fingers skimming over her as he did, slow, reverent. Loving. He removed her panties last, slowly pulling them over her hips and down her legs like he had all the time in the world.
Like her pleasure was of the utmost importance to him.
Still bent over her, he looked up into her face as he brushed a kiss over her breast. And then just below her belly button.
She quivered. The things he could do to her with one look, one kiss…
Rearing up, she got to her knees and shoved his shirt up and over his head. And though she’d seen him shirtless many times, her mouth still went dry as she watched each beautifully defined muscle ripple as he pulled off the shirt.
She splayed her hands over his heart, feeling the comforting steady pound of it beneath her palms. Smiling, she slid her hands down to his ripped abs and leaned in to stroke her tongue over one of his nipples. His stomach. And southward bound—
The breath rushed out of his lungs as he toppled her to the mattress.
“Back to being in a hurry?” Sophie asked.
“You make me lose control,” he said and made her laugh breathlessly.
But then he slid inside her, filling her as only he could, making it impossible to do anyt
hing but cry out his name and wrap her arms and legs around him, desperate, hungry. Unlike him, she had no control, none at all and as he moved inside her, hungry sounds ripped from her throat, needy and desperate, and she didn’t care. “Jacob.”
His muscles bunched and released under her hands as he took the both of them right to the very edge, leaving her so close that her lungs burned for air. “Jacob.”
He pushed up on his arms, his hands braced on either side of her head to hold his weight, and she moaned at the sight of the carved muscles of his chest, shoulders and arms straining as he took her even deeper, harder, and then sent her skittering into a hard climax before following her over.
When she could breathe again, when she could open her eyes and focus, she found him propped up on an elbow at her side, watching her with an intensity that took her breath.
“I need this with you, Soph,” he said. “But more that, I need you. You make me laugh. You keep me in the moment and yet you also make me believe in a future. I want you to know all this before I go because life’s short. Way too short to let go of something you know you want to keep forever.”
Her heart caught. “Forever?”
“Say you’ll think about it,” he said. “Think about moving in here, at least until you can replace your things, until you figure out where your home is.”
“And if I figure out that my home is you?” she asked in a low whisper.
“Then that’s the first thing I want you to tell me when I get back.”
She smiled. He had a way of making clear what he wanted, what he hoped for, without pressuring her for more than she could handle. “Kiss me good-bye,” she demanded. “Kiss me so I won’t forget.”
He hauled her to him and held her tight before burying his hands in her hair and kissing her until they were both shaky and more than a little desperate.
She clutched at him and managed to ask, “How much longer do we have?”
He looked at the bedside clock. “An hour at most.”
“Then let’s make the most of it,” she said, and using his weight against him, pulled him down to her.
Chapter 33
Three months later
It was two in the morning when Hud pulled up to the cabin on the lake. Next to him, Jacob took a deep breath of the Rocky Mountain air and for the first time in three months felt alive.
And hopeful. “Have you seen Sophie?” he asked. “Is she staying here?”
Hud didn’t answer that. No one had and Jacob hadn’t pressed, not sure if he was ready to know.
“Feels good to have you back,” was all Hud said.
Two arms came around Jacob tight from behind. Kenna in the backseat. “So GOOD!” she whispered fiercely, hugging him for what must’ve been the hundredth time since they’d picked him up at the airport in Denver two hours ago.
He twisted and did his best to hug her back. She tightened her grip and…didn’t let go.
“I thought maybe we’d had enough hugs,” he managed to croak out past the arm around his neck.
She still didn’t let go.
Jacob loved her. Ridiculously. But he needed to get inside, needed to know if Sophie was in there. Seeking help, he looked at Hud.
“He’s turning blue,” Hud told Kenna.
She sniffed.
Hud winced and backed up against the door, hands up.
Shit. Jacob wrapped Kenna up as tight as he could. “Hey,” he said. “I’m done. I’m out. I’m not leaving again.”
“You swear it?”
“I swear it.”
“And you’ll buy me breakfast?” she asked soggily. “At least twice a week?”
Ah, there she was. “You’re wearing a ring. You have Mitch for that now.”
“It’s just a promise ring and he’s a boy, which means he could muck it all up at any moment. You’re my brother. Say it, Jacob. Promise me.”
“I promise to buy you breakfast two times a week.”
“In perpetuity.”
“In perpetuity,” he said.
“And you’ll take over as events manager?” she asked. “And be codirector with me of the ski school, seeing as the resort has been saved and so have our asses?”
Jacob pulled back. “What?”
“Oh yeah,” she said. “Forgot to tell you. Lucas went on a whole fix-his-bad-karma thing and was able to work out a deal with the bank so we’d have more time and lower payments. All will be paid off in two years, with the resort still making a comfortable profit if we’re careful. We’re rebuilding and we need you. Plus, we already had the plaque made for your office door.”
Jacob looked at Hud in the dark ambient light of the truck’s cab. “You know about this?”
“We all do,” he said. “We want you back where you belong. With us. And if those jobs don’t appeal to you, then we’ll find something that does.”
“They appeal,” Jacob said. More than he’d imagined they could.
He got out of the truck.
He entered his cabin, tension curling through him. He was beyond exhausted after traveling for the past seventy-two hours to get back here and had no idea what to expect. He and Soph had communicated via email and Skype here and there, but connections had been spotty and she’d been vague about her plans.
Terrifyingly vague.
Was she here? Would she stay? And if so, for how long? He wanted forever, but he didn’t very often get what he wanted.
The cabin was dark, and he didn’t turn on any lights as he dropped his duffel bags and walked straight through the living room to his bedroom.
The glow of the moon slanted in through the window, casting the room in blue shadows. He moved to the bed, his knees nearly giving out when he saw the mass of long red hair scattered across his pillow.
Sophie lay sprawled in the center of the bed, deeply asleep, taking up all of the space. It took him a few seconds to realize what was different about the room.
The closet was open, filled with her clothes. She had several pairs of shoes scattered on the floor. One peek into the bathroom assured him that she’d taken over there as well, bottles and brushes…How many brushes did one woman need?
Moving back to his bedroom, he noticed the blanket on the bed was hers. There was a plant in one corner and her jewelry box was on the dresser. And a pair of undies on the floor by the bed gave him hope she was in there naked.
That she was there at all was a miracle on its own.
His hand shook as he shut and locked the door, doing the same for the window, making them safe for the night.
Then he sat down heavily on the chair by the bed and just watched her breathe. She was here.
She was his.
And he was absolutely hers…He closed his eyes for a second and then opened them.
And found her looking at him.
Sophie had been waiting for this moment for so long she could scarcely breathe. She’d done her best to go on with her life and continue to make it as good for herself as she could. She’d started