his cock one time. Her eyes went glassy, and he groaned. She always had liked to watch him, but this wasn’t the time to take matters into his own hands.
“Do it again,” she whispered and leaned forward to grip his thighs with her warm, soft hands. Her face was close enough that the fall of honey waves brushed his hips.
He obliged her, first yanking the zipper down and freeing the throbbing cock from its prison. He circled the shaft with his fist and stroked upward, squeezing when he reached the broad head.
“Mmm,” she moaned and then leaned toward him. The breath suspended in his lungs as she flicked her tongue out and rubbed it across the tip of his cock.
Fuck, her mouth was hot. It felt like months since she’d sucked him off, but it’d probably only been a couple weeks. Before he could think on how lucky he was, she dove forward and took him deep. She shoved his hand out of the way and took him deeper still. He let out a choked groan. “Jesus, babe, slow it down.”
She pulled back and met his gaze. “You’re on my time right now, so I’ll let you know when it’s time to slow down. How’s that, big guy?”
Hard to argue when the sexiest woman in the world was on her knees in front of you, her mouth already red and a little swollen from having your dick in it. He wised up quick and shut his mouth, settling back again to give her better access. “Sorry,” he rasped out, taking a breath to try and get his pounding pulse back under control.
She didn’t give him the chance as she leaned in and took him into her sweet mouth again. It was all hot breath and soft tongue and incoherent sighs. He wanted to watch her so bad. To see every second of her plump lips closing over his thickness. Her cheek bones going sharp as she increased the suction, taunting him with the tender flesh of the inside of her mouth. But his lids drifted closed, the lure of total oblivion, the need to just feel too strong to fight.
Her fingers dug into his thighs as she found her rhythm, up and down. Fast then faster. She swirled the tip of her tongue over the swollen head as she passed, sending a bolt of pure lust through him, and he held his breath. Shit. His balls went tight, and he slid a hand into her thick mane of hair.
“That’s enough, Lace.” The words sounded like they’d been dragged over a field of glass, broken and guttural. Because he didn’t want her to stop. He wanted to grab the back of her head and urge her on. Beg her to never stop. To flex his hips and quicken the pace until he exploded in a hot rush of liquid, emptying himself into her throat.
She pulled back, gave him one last long lick and peered up at him. “Now I want you inside of me. But I don’t want you to come because I’m not finished here. Understand?”
His cock pulsed and jerked, a pearl of translucent liquid leaking from the slit at the tip. It must have caught her eye because she stared down, mesmerized.
She was halfway to his lap, ready to suck him into the crazed tornado again, but he stopped her, cupping her chin in his hand.
“If you want me inside you, you’d better quit while you’re ahead,” he whispered, and leaned in to kiss her. She opened her mouth to argue, but he was beyond the point of reason. He stood, drawing her up with him, and slid his hands downward to cup her sweet, round ass.
“Play time is over, babe.”
He bent and hoisted her up, forcing her to wrap her thighs around his waist to keep herself from falling. She squealed and slid her arms around his neck.
“I got you. Let’s get you upstairs. I have something I wanted to show you.” Galen carried her down the hall and kicked open their bedroom door. They stepped into the room, and he flicked on the light with his elbow.
She froze in place and gasped. “Holy mother of god.”
Chapter Three
Lacey stared at the array of stuff on the bed in shock. Apparently Cat hadn’t been the only one talking to Rafe. There was what looked like a giant vibrator/dildo combo on her pillow, and the rest of the bed looked like the sex store had been having a clearance sale and Galen had decided to wipe them out.
“What is all this stuff?” she whispered, trying to take it all in. She jiggled and wiggled until he set her on her feet again.
Galen took her by the shoulder and turned her to face him. “I know things have been strained between us. I wanted to take care of you. Help you relax.” He traced the line of her neck with his forefinger and stilled her heart with the vulnerable, sweet look on his face.
Leave it to Galen to bring a bunch of sex toys into the bedroom and help her relax by popping off a row of orgasms. The pull low in her stomach made her wonder if he might not have it right, though. It had been a long time since they made love just for the sake of it. Since before the last round of shots. Maybe this was the way to get back to where they’d started before the stress of the wedding and the difficulties of trying to start a family.
Galen shifted from foot to foot, his gaze never leaving hers. Whether or not this worked, even temporarily, the fact that he was trying made her love him a little more than she did even an hour ago.
She took a tentative step toward the bed and scanned the items before blowing out a sigh. “Alrighty, then. What have we got?”
He pulled up beside her and ticked off the list on his fingers. “Let’s see, that there’s your standard variety vibrator. That’s some warming lube. That,” he pointed to a small, round device that looked a little like a pacifier, “is a butt plug—”
She held up a hand to stop him right there.
“That’s a what now?” She eyed it with dawning horror.
“Look, I went in and asked the lady behind the counter to give me the works. Everything she thought a woman might want but be afraid to ask for.” He shrugged helplessly. “I took the bag, and gave her the money.”
“So what are you supposed to do with it?”
He eyed her incredulously. “For real? It’s called a butt plug. What do you think you’re supposed to do with it?”
She scratched her nose and nodded, trying not to let the apprehension show. “Okay. I’ll do it. But if it hurts, just let me know and I’ll take it out, stat. Don’t be a hero.”
He gaped at her and shook his head. “Aw, no. Sweetie. That’s not for me.”
The last of her buzz faded, and she took a step back. “Nope. Not going to happen.” They’d had some incidental contact in the butt area, but that thing was the size of a Ring Ding. There was no way that was going anywhere near the backdoor.
“Fine. Butt plug is off the table. Now come on, there’s tons of other stuff that you’d probably really like if we gave it a go.”
She craned her head closer but didn’t step in, like she was peering into the cage of a lion. “What about that?” she asked, pointing to a small, pad-like device with a single button on it.
“That’s just a different kind of vibrator.”
That might be okay. “And those?” she gestured to what looked like a bag of ribbons.
“Those are restraints.” His voice went dark and husky, and suddenly those looked kind of interesting, too.
“Okay.” She turned to face him. “Since I’m the boss tonight, I’m going to pick the things I want to try and we’ll put the rest away for further consideration. Deal?”
He nodded. “Deal.”
She strolled around the bed, amazed at the array, and at the way she could almost feel her fiancé willing her to pick up certain items. His breath went fast when she bent to get a closer look at a pair of fur-lined cuffs. And when she picked up a wide, flat plank that was obviously some sort of paddle, he actually stopped breathing altogether. Very interesting. She kept that, and with a silent prayer for courage, took up the restraints, the cuffs, and the vibrator.
“Okay. Ready,” she announced.
He stepped in and swept the rest of the stuff onto the floor. “I’ll put it away later. I can’t wait another second to get you between those sheets,” he said softly.
Her heart stuttered, and she wanted to cry. When was the last time he’d looked at her exactly that way?
Like he couldn’t wait to tear her clothes off? Maybe it was more recent than she thought, and she just hadn’t been paying enough attention to him to notice. Not tonight, though. Tonight, she was with him one hundred percent. Fully engaged and present.
He took the items from her unresisting hands and set them on the bedside table. “Lay back and let me undress you,” he murmured.
She sank onto the bed and swung her legs over the side. He knelt next to her and began unbuttoning her blouse, stopping to drop a sucking kiss to every inch he exposed. “I love when you wear clothes like this. You’re my own sexy schoolteacher.” Another kiss, this one over the peach silk of her bra. “When you’re getting dressed in the morning, walking around in your skirt, putting on your earrings, fixing your lipstick, it takes all my strength not to follow behind you and undo all the things you’ve just done.”
He lifted her arms high over her head, and picked up the cuffs clicking one over her right wrist then the other over her left.
“Leave your hands over your head,” he said.
Her stomach was exposed now, and the icy blast from the air conditioning sent a shiver through her. He leaned in to trail his fingers over ribcage, and then lower. He unzipped her skirt, pressing his lips to her calf as he slid the fabric down her body.
“I want to tie your legs open wide,” he said, his voice silky as he slid her panties off. “And then I want to fuck you until you scream.”
She’d been on the business end of that promise before, and it wasn’t an idle one. Her legs started to tremble as he picked up one of the restraints and looped it around one ankle to tie the end to the bed rail.
Okay, not too tight. That wasn’t so bad. Grasping her other foot lightly, he ran his thumb over her insole as he looped the second length of silk around her ankle. She swallowed hard as he used it to spread her legs wide. Then wider.
She resisted the urge to fight him. To close her legs and hide herself from his heated gaze.
“You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Don’t hide from me,” he ground out. Heat and wetness rushed to her core at his words, and she relaxed, letting her muscle go limp again. She trusted him and needed more than anything to let go. Take this break from reality for just a little while.
“There you go. That’s so good, babe.” His soft praise made her go weak inside, and she let her eyelids drift shut. His fingers were like feathers, drifting over her skin, so light, like a whisper. When they drifted between her legs, she held her breath. A low buzzing sound reverberated through the room.
“Oh!” The sensation was electrifying. A pulse of energy directly on the bundle of nerves was almost too much. She moved her hand to stop him but the cuffs pulled at her wrists. And then the urge to move away was gone. Pleasure radiated from the vibrations, between her legs, down her thighs. She strained toward it now, unable to look away.
He climbed onto the bed, positioning himself between her legs, thick cock bobbing as he moved. He laid the vibrator so it stayed in place against her clit and jerked his jeans farther down his thighs.
“Just for a second,” he bit out. “Need to be inside you for one. Second.” He leaned down to rest on one forearm as he slid the head of his cock into her. The breath whooshed out of her lungs, and she thrust up toward him. If he came the rest of the way in, and the vibrator kept doing what it was doing, she was on track for the mother of all orgasms.
But he didn’t. He played with her, working the thick head in and out, using his hand to massage her with the vibrator until her whole body was quaking. Heat collected at her center and a pulsing need began to throb low in her belly.
“I’ve been thinking about this for a week. Getting inside you. Your legs wide open for me.”
His voice was lower than the Galen she knew. Dark with need, and it was driving her insane.
He pulled away, and she whimpered at the loss, but it was short-lived as he jerked forward, sliding all the way in. The click of a button and suddenly the pulses from the vibrator increased, stealing her breath in tandem with Galen’s thrusting hips. He hammered into her, hard and deep, and the sensations all melded together until she was a mass of ache and need.
“Mmm,” she moaned, the tension coiling tighter, the heat flaming hotter. His teeth closed over the cord in her neck, and she screamed as the waves crashed over her and light pulsed through her.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” he chanted, riding it with her, slamming his hips against hers as he came.
Their labored breathing filled the room as they came down from the high, and she slung her cuffed arms around his neck as he pulled away and turned the vibrator off.
“That was a very nice surprise to come home to,” she said, nestling her nose against his warm shoulder. She hadn’t felt this relaxed in ages.
He chuckled, pulling away from her grasp to gently untie her and unlock her cuffs. “I’m glad you liked it.”
She had. And she didn’t even have to face the dreaded paddle. She felt like she’d dodged a bullet there.
“And hey, we can just bring the rest to try on our honeymoon.”
She eyeballed him, wondering if he was serious.
”That would be an interesting security check,” she admitted with a grin.
“It’s totally happening, so get your pretty head around it.”
He pulled her onto his chest, and she snuggled in close, listening to his heartbeat slow as he nodded off. She hugged him closer for a second and breathed in his scent.
Paddle or no paddle, one thing was for sure: she never really had to fear. Galen would take care of her. She knew it with all her heart. That kind of love was rare, and more than enough to hope for in a lifetime even if they never had a baby. But she couldn’t deny the little squeeze her heart gave at the thought. They still had one person considering them for a possible adoption, so it wasn’t like they’d lost hope yet. Everything was going to be fine. She was sure of it.
And still, sleep was a long time coming.
…
When she woke up the next morning, Lacey found herself nose to nose with a note on the opposite pillow. She stifled a yawn and then opened it.
Went for a run before it got too hot. Be back with bagels.
Perfect. She scooted to the side of the bed and rose gingerly to her feet, both surprised and relieved that, aside from a slight headache, she was hardly hung over at all. That’s what the love of a good man did for you. She smiled as her thoughts went back to the night before. From coming to The Meat Market to make sure she wasn’t miserable to making her breakfast and setting her up with water and aspirin before bed, Galen had taken care of her the way he always did. The way she hoped she did for him. Plans for a fancy lunch spread filled her head as she made her way to the kitchen for her morning coffee.
He’d loved the pasta salad she’d made for Cat’s picnic a few weeks ago, so that and roast beef sandwiches on thick slices of fresh pumpernickel from Balducci’s would be perfect.
When she passed by the telephone and noted the blinking message light, she picked it up to listen while she made her grocery list. Galen liked Swiss on his roast beef, so—
“Hi, Galen, Lacey. This is Stella Martin.”
She dropped the pen in her hand and gripped the phone more tightly. Please god, please…
The deep sigh that rang over the line said it all and sent her stomach into a nosedive, but she forced herself to listen to the words. “I tried your cell phone, but it went straight to voice mail too. I’m sorry to tell you that Sarah has made her decision and unfortunately, has selected another family. Now remember, sometimes it takes several—”
The rest of it was nothing but jumbled sound as she set the phone down on the counter. Again. They’d tried and failed again. The first time, with Katya, she’d just changed her mind altogether about the adoption. That had been rough. She closed her eyes to ward off the pain of that memory. But this time, what did this other family have that she and Galen didn’t? Was it that they weren’t married yet
? Or maybe she’d just tried too hard at the interview? She recalled Sarah’s face from their meeting three weeks before, and she’d seemed to like them. What could have gone wrong?
Tears filled her eyes and spilled over. How strange that just a year or two ago, she’d never even given a second thought to the possibility that having children would be anything other than an at-will prospect. She’d stop using birth control, and then she’d get pregnant. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy. Then, lather, rinse, repeat until she’d have a houseful of kids running around, creating laughter and chaos wherever they went. How could she have been so naive? She’d done everything according to plan. Gone off the Pill in order to give her body a chance to get regulated again for a while, and even started taking pre-natal vitamins. She had all her ducks in a row so that her body would be in the best possible shape for them to start trying right after the wedding. And then? Her body had betrayed her. Her monthly schedule that had been like clockwork while she was on birth control became a crap shoot, and she knew something was wrong.
She pressed a hand to her stomach and blinked back the tears. And worse, how was she going to tell Galen? They’d been so hopeful this time, and the wedding was only a week away. How could she tell him now?
She wouldn’t. Better to wait until after the wedding. There was no point in ruining his day. If he felt anything like she did after hearing the news, putting it off for a few days was a kindness she wished Stella had given her.
She leaned against the granite countertop for support as she ran over what the next steps would be for them. They’d explored so many options already, and it seemed like every door was slammed louder than the last.
They’d just keep trying.
Resolved, she straightened and grabbed the list from the table. Galen was a fighter, and this last year, he’d taught her to be one, too. They would get through this together.
Still, she couldn’t stop that ugly, insidious little voice that whispered…
What if you can’t?
…
“Cinnamon raisin, plain, sesame, I got ‘em all, baby.”
Galen tossed the bursting paper bag onto the kitchen island and tugged Lacey’s ponytail from behind. She turned off the faucet where she’d been rinsing their breakfast pan from the night before and faced him.
“Uh, yeah, sounds good.”
The lightness in his chest that had been there all morning disappeared when he saw her face. Gone were the pink cheeks and the soft smile playing around her full lips while she’d slept that morning. Her eyes looked sad now, her shoulders were slumped, and her voice was dull.
He pulled her into his arms and squeezed, pressing his nose into her hair and breathing in her familiar scent. “What’s the matter, babe? Talk to me.” Please.
She hugged him back, but stiffly, and then pulled away. “Just the stress of the wedding and the new job all at once. I’ll be fine in a week or two once things die down.”
Lies.
The still-warm bagel he’d scarfed down on the way home sat in his belly like a rock. Whatever she was saying about it now, he knew that Lacey had been looking forward to their wedding day since he’d first proposed. Sure it was a busy time for them both, but she’d always been the type of person who thrived on this shit—organization and lists and lace. And she’d been over the moon when she’d landed her first teaching job. This should’ve been the happiest time of her life. Was this all about their baby trouble, or was something else happening here? Had she changed her mind? He swallowed hard and decided that he’d been patient long enough. Time to push her into talking to him.
“I don’t buy it, Lace.”
She bit her lip and made a show of getting herself a bagel from the bag. “What don’t you buy? This is a stressful time. It happens.” She shrugged and tore the bread in half before stuffing a hunk into her mouth.
“Is this about the baby or is something going on about us that we need to talk about?”
She chewed for long enough that he wondered if she’d ever stop, and then she swallowed before meeting his gaze. “I’m fine. I’d be even finer if you stopped asking me what’s wrong.”
And maybe I’d stop asking you if you didn’t have tears brimming in your eyes half the time, he wanted to shout.
But he didn’t.
Instead, he stared at her helplessly, and she glared back, arms crossed over her chest defiantly. Good. He could take mad a lot easier than sad. If only he believed that’s what it was instead of a bone-deep despair that she was unwilling to share with him.
He glanced at the kitchen clock and swore under his breath. “I’ve got to call Shane and cancel. I was supposed to help him install a bathtub today and—”
“No, go!” She cleared her throat and lowered her voice, running a hand through her hair. “Don’t cancel. You should definitely go help him. It wouldn’t be right to bail last minute like that.”
The relief on her face at the thought of getting rid of him for a few hours made his stomach clench again, and in spite of his instincts warning him to tread carefully and give her space, he couldn’t help but press a little.
“Why?” He kept his eyes locked on her telltale face. “We can do it another day. I’d rather be with you.”
I’d rather be with you too, he willed her to say. That would have been the instant reply a few months ago. Now, it was just dead air between them, and his gut pitched so hard, he wondered if he might be sick. Finally, she spoke.
“I’d…rather be with you too,” she swallowed hard, “but there’s still a lot to be done. I was going to head out and pick up the groomsmen’s gifts anyway. We’ll meet up for dinner later, okay?”
The words were right this time. She even managed a strained smile when she