Make her orgasm with only your fingers…
The directive rang loud and clear in my head and the need to do things exactly and perfectly reigned in my self-control. I placed my arm along the top of the seat and began carrying out the rest of the instructions entailed in the text: While making small talk. "Tell me, love. Tell me about your visit to your grandmother."
I knew how hard that would be for her. To talk about that while I fingered her beautiful pussy. To talk about anything, really, but especially that. I let my gaze rove down her body until it burned between her legs. I pulled my finger slowly out, needing to see her essence glistening on it before I buried it back inside and stroked that doorway to her soul, stroked that insanity switch in my head. The one that didn't give a fuck about points, shame, or fear, only making her pull my hair, claw my skin, and scream my fucking name.
"Went…visit her."
"Yes, baby. Is she okay?" I pulled my finger out and drew soft wet circles on her clit.
"Yes, yes."
"That's good. She's making progress?"
She gave several pants and moans before nodding.
"Did you tell her about me?"
She nodded and gave me a moan when I went back to fingering her deep.
"Did you say good things?"
Conflicting sounds said maybe not entirely good.
I gave several relentless flicks to her core, drawing high pitched moans that fucking drove me crazy for more. "Were you naughty baby? Did you lie about me?" I allowed my ring finger to press at her tight ass and leaned my mouth to her ear. "Tell me you missed me, love."
"Oh God." She thrashed her head, putting her mouth next to mine.
"Oh God, what?" I placed my thumb on her clit and she immediately took advantage and began working herself on it. "Oh God you missed me? Want me? Fucking need me?" I hit at her core with dominance. "Say it, Tara."
"I missed you," she gasped, pumping her hips on my hand now.
"What else baby." I moved my lips next to hers, aching to feel all I could. "Did you think about me?"
"Yes, yes." She clutched my wrist and held it tight to her body. "I missed you, I missed you."
"Fuck, I missed you too baby." I pushed my ring finger into her ass and she cried out. "Come on me love. God you're fucking trembling, you're so ready." I slid my other arm around her waist to get at her clit with my index finger, giving rapid little flicks.
"Oh God, Lucian!" She grabbed my face and I dove on her mouth with a growl of hunger, letting her cries fill me, hot and so fucking desperate as her fingers clawed my face. I rubbed her clit at high speed and hit her core harder, faster, needing her to come all the way undone.
Her fingers pulled hard in my hair as her cries turned shrill, her body writhing and shuddering with the force of the pleasure that took her. Her warm fluids flowed over my hand while her inner muscles sucked at my finger, pulling it deep.
My hard-on twitched, ready to fucking break free of my jeans. She climbed in my lap and yanked at my shirt. Fuck yes, yes. I ripped it off and she slid to her knees before me, fighting to get my pants off. "I need you," she moaned. Her lips burned along my chest and down my abs as I shoved my pants down. Before I could move, she took all of me into her mouth.
"Ffffuck, baby." I scooted lower and she shoved my legs open wide, making those sounds, those starved sounds that admitted her need, while her nails raked along my balls. The intensity of it made me growl and grab hold of her hair tight with both hands.
Desperate moans accompanied her direct gaze right at me. Right into me. God, the look in her eyes, like she needed me, longed for me, fucking loved me. My orgasm roared forward and she slammed her hand on my chest, holding me down to suck the ecstasy right from me. The pleasure locked onto me so hard that I couldn't breathe or speak or think, only hold on to her hair as she broke me down harder than I'd ever been before.
She climbed in my lap next and kissed me. Holding my face, she stroked my tongue and pressed her pussy on my still throbbing cock. "So good baby," she whispered. "You came so good. I did it so good."
To hear those sweet words, words of satisfaction and contentment…no fear, no shame. Fuck. I wrapped my arms around her and held her close, held her tight, so fucking tight, rubbing her body, like a man that knew. Knew it was a matter of time, minutes even, before they came and took her away. The lies of her past. The ghosts.
Demon domination. The irony in the name of this week's game snaked through me with gut-wrenching realism. That was exactly what I faced with her. Past lies. Past ghosts.
I sucked at her neck with desperation, not wanting her to leave me, but already I could feel the lies stealing in and reformatting her mind and muscles, locking them down, away from me.
I had to find a way to win. This game. This week. I had to dominate her demons. I had to set her free. So she could be mine. I needed her to be all fucking mine.
Chapter Two
God, why did I always feel like such a failure after being intimate with Lucian? Not just a failure, but a… bad person. I hated that I couldn't stop it, couldn't stop what came over me, that stupid, I don't care person. I became a bitch who pretend to be unaffected by him. How was that possible?
Fear. I could admit that much. Yes, I was afraid. Terrified. What if I gave in to him and he decided… he wasn't interested anymore? He was clearly the type of man who loved a challenge, that was so totally obvious. And it wasn't my fault he was a Dom. Ex-Dom he claimed but still, if he was truly a Dom at heart, that meant he would always be one. No matter what he said. I could give in and his little Dom switch would kick in and it'd be game over for me. Naïve little Tara would become Boring Tara, no longer giving him the challenge he needed. He would walk and never look back. And I would die.
I just… didn't need to think about this right now. I needed to focus on winning this competition. I would deal with all that other… real stuff after. I was so avidly sure it would still be there, waiting to be dealt with. If Lucian would only let me, leave me to my weirdness for the duration of this competition, until I had a moment to think about something besides my Gramma dying in the nursing home and it all resting on my performance to save her.
Jesus. And it was just a little selfish of him not to see that, not to realize what he was putting me through by adding this personal vendetta to this situation. It wasn't fair. Not at all.
Now he was going to be all mean. I hated when he did that shit. Mostly because it distracted me, made it impossible to think about the job at hand. He was really emotional for a Dom. I mean really, geeze, couldn't he just let us do our job in peace?
I watched the landscape passing us by. Lucian sat at one end of the car, I sat at the other. I need a little space, love. I rolled my eyes, recalling his little lie. He didn't need space and he knew it. He needed to punish me. That's what he needed. Big baby. Fine, if that's what he needed to feel better, that was just fine. I could take it. Better than him… pawing me constantly, trying to keep me a pile of mush. I couldn't be mush during this fucking competition! What was wrong with him?
After a soft ding…ding…ding, the window between us and Steve slowly lowered. "We'll be arriving at our first assignment in approximately fifteen minutes. First the hotel and then a date at a restaurant."
"What about the assignment? I mean the real one?" I asked.
Only giving me flashes of his eyeballs in the rearview, Steve gave his tight jack-o-lantern grin. "Option one. We can go there tonight after the restaurant assignment or option two." He held up two fingers. "Go first thing in the morning when we're all not tuckered out."
"I'm not tuckered. I say do it tonight."
I looked at Lucian, waiting for his sure opposition. Of course he'd be silent when I actually wanted his opinion.
"Lucian? What do you think?"
"It's your demon, love. You decide."
Why did he sound tired? I pushed the thought from my mind. "Well that's easy. Since I've already dealt with my past issues," I aimed my e
yes and mouth at one of the cameras, "the sooner the better."
I looked at Lucian, finding him staring out the window, indifferent. I glanced at Steve next who nodded and shrugged at my questioning gaze. "Whatever you want. I'm just the driver. And chaperone."
I regarded Lucian. "This isn't just my show, you know."
"It doesn't matter what you do, love. You've already dominated all your demons, remember?"
"But you don't really believe that."
"What does it matter what I believe?"
I sat back, looking out the window. "Nothing. Just so you cooperate, you don't need to agree or understand."
"Yes, I'm sure we're going to pass this test with flying colors, love."
"Yes, I'm sure we will," I said, annoyed with his flippant uncaring tone. "Does this whiny attitude mean you're done playing for the top Dom position?"
"No. Not hardly. Just waiting."
"Waiting for what?"
He finally turned those blue eyes on me. "For you to fuck up. I'll need to be there to take up the slack."
"Fuck up, fuck up what? You think I can't…" I hesitated, "face my demons?"
"Not if you already have, love."
I quirked a lip at him. "Okay super cryptic man. But it's not my fault if I have no demons." I looked at the camera then. "But if there are any, I will deal with them. Straight up…head on."
"Amen," Steve said from the front. "Deal with those demons my dear, head on. No toying."
"It's a figure of speech, there are no demons," I informed Steve.
His sympathetic gaze in the mirror said my opinion was a spiritual handicap. "I mean there are no demons in my past. Anymore." Again I leaned toward the camera to make sure my words were understood. "Twelve hundred hours of therapy tends to demolish demons."
Steve winced, making me feel the need to validate and explain. "Over the span of twelve years, of course. Twice a week. Well spaced out."
His face contorted into a mix of shock, empathy, and horror. "Must've taken a life savings."
Guilt bored into my stomach. It was a life savings. Gramma's. What she didn't spend in college tuition, she spent in therapy for me. Another reason I needed to win this farce of a competition. Do what it took to dominate, not get side tracked with stupid… feelings like love. I owed her that much.
We arrived at the hotel and Lucian disappeared into the bathroom. I paced up and down then let out a sigh of relief when I heard the shower cut on. I focused on the job. The first demon domination. Face Justin the douche, who I really wanted to never see again. Much less face him again with Lucian watching. I'd find a way to cut it short and keep it sweet and… simple. No need to air dirty laundry unnecessarily.
My phone chirped in my pocket, nearly giving me a heart attack. Then my stomach jolted as I dug it out, remembering what those chirps were for. Just great. Totally great. I slid my finger along the screen and hit the message box.
You will find a nurse uniform in the closet. Assuming the dominant role, put it on and tend to Lucian's wounds.
What wounds? I scrolled down and found the rest.
You will use the handcuffs and secure him to the bed, face down. You will use the crop provided and give him fifty lashes.
Fifty!?
I closed my eyes and began pacing. God, I didn't want to hurt him. More than I already had. Fuckers.
Before I knew it, he came out of the bathroom in only a towel. He stopped and stared at me as though he sensed something wrong.
"What, love?"
The sincere caring in his tone stabbed at me. I handed him the phone and he took it while I paced and watched his reaction.
He dropped his towel and held his wrists out to me, those gorgeous blue eyes framed with black lashes, pleading for things from me that had nothing to do with Dom Wars!
Jesus Christ!
Somebody had to be strong about this. I stormed to the closet and found all the stupid shit they named and went to the bathroom. I took quick shower first, knowing I'd have to go all the way with him. There were no halfways when he took me. And God, he could do that with only a look. So, certainly if I had to… nurse his wounds, I'd be the best damn nurse ever.
Donning the attire, I walked out and found Lucian laying naked on the center of the double bed with the remote control in his hand. He clicked the TV off and stared at me, head to toe. I suddenly felt so stupid. He didn't say a word but merely locked his gaze to mine, finally letting a little bit of emotion come through. Smug…something. But smug anything annoyed me. Then I remembered it was him getting the flogging and lost my anger.
He rolled over onto his stomach and stretched his arms over his head. I swallowed and went to the foot of the bed with the handcuffs and put them on him without a word. I stood next to the bed and he turned his head away from me. For some reason, that put a fire pit in my stomach.
I stood there, words rolling around in my mind and on my tongue, but unable to voice them. "Um…" my voice barely carried, "I'm going to try and… spread it out."
"Stop whining and fucking do it."
His words punched me in the stomach and I gasped from it. Tears filled my eyes. I couldn't do that while he was angry. "I… I can't."
"Yes you can. Think of the money love. Think of your grandmother. Think of the guys who raped you." He turned his head and burned his gaze into mine. "Or better yet, think of me."
I wiped my eyes and a flicker of something flashed in his eyes before he shut them and turned his head again. "Just get it over with, love. It's just flogging."
"You say that like…"
"I have. My father was good with a belt."
I clenched my eyes tight. Do it. Just. Do it. Aftercare after. Focus on the aftercare. "I'll make it better. I promise."
"I know you will."
My chest tightened at his tone. Remorse. Like…my making it better would be the worse punishment. God why did he have to do this?
I began the flogging. I tried to focus on the guys who raped me. But ten strikes in and all I could see was Lucian as a boy, crying while his father spanked him. I think around the twenty mark, I let my sobs go, counting out loud so as not to lose track. Fifty was an eternity away. His muscles stood out hard as he took each lick without moving, like a stone. How did he do that? What place did he go to?
I hurried, needing to get it over with, wiping my eyes and freely sobbing, not caring how stupid I must look, a Domme nurse, flogging her patient and crying like a baby. Which probably meant we'd score poorly. Dammit. Damn him for being so sweet, this was all his fault! I needed to hate him but he just had to be… him.
At forty-five I was blubbering like a five year old, fighting back wails. And at fifty, I threw the fucking crop across the room. "I'm sorry!"
"Fucking. Un. Tie. Me!"
The fierce sound of his voice made me forget all about directives, money, competition. I only heard one thing. Obey. And I hurried to do it. Needed to do it.
My hands trembled as I unlocked the handcuffs. My sob gushed out at seeing blood on his wrists. It had hurt him. Oh God, I'd hurt him.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." They were suddenly the only words I could remember. I kept repeating them over and over until he pulled me to him and laid me on the bed. He placed my arms above my head and the restraint of his firm fingers on my wrists had never felt so safe. Warm. Perfect.
He stroked his face all along mine and pushed his strong leg between my thighs. "Shhhh love. I have you."
He had me? Why was he comforting me? This was backwards. And yet my response was wails of I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I have to nurse you, I have to nurse you."
"You are nursing me baby," he whispered hoarsely in my ear. "Your love is the best fucking aftercare in the world."
***
God, Tara had fucking done it again. Right when I swore on my grandfather's grave that I wouldn't let her, she fucking reduced me to nothing. Nothing but a hot collection of neurons burning to serve her however they could. She'd sobbed. That was different
than just crying to me. That was like an orgasm of crying. And it said so much. Said what I desperately needed to hear. She loved me. Fuck. I'd take that however she gave it, in a dream, a look, a touch, a fucking riddle, just so she gave it.
The hotel phone rang and I kissed her with an angry growl at the interruption of this holy and sacred event. But the phone kept ringing like a goddamn tolling bell announcing the moment was indeed over. I gasped and laid my forehead on her shoulder then yanked the receiver to my ear.
"We have to leave in fifteen minutes. Or it could cost you points." The rigid tone in Steve's voice said he didn't want that to happen. Was it costing him too?
I sighed. "We'll be at the car in fifteen."
I hung up and kissed Tara before she could move. "I fucking love you baby."
The little whimpers she made hurt my ears, hurt my body. The sounds of uncertainty and guilt.
"Shhh, don't talk. It's okay. I just needed to say it." I let my lips turn soft on hers, tenderly nipping, never wanting to stop showing her what she meant to me. Rolling off of her was like lifting a mountain. But I did. I lifted that fucking mountain for her.
"I should… change."
I sat at the edge of the bed and raked my fingers through my hair then swiped my face. "Unless you want to go as a nurse, yes."
A moment of silence passed. "Don't hate me."
I glanced back at her and my heart melted at the worry in her eyes. I slid my fingers along her cheek. "Never, love. Ever."
"Are you sure?" She roamed her gaze over my body.
I stood and faced her, giving her other things to look at besides the red welts she'd covered my backside with. "I'm so sure. You can make it up to me tonight." I stroked my cock, ready to burst with need for her.
She stared at it as though contemplating what she could do in that second. She looked up at me and my stomach jerked at the plea in her eyes. So desperate. "Fucking do it baby."
She hurried to the edge of the bed and took my cock with desperate hunger, moaning sweetly all over it.
I stroked her hair and she looked up at me. Jesus Christ. "Baby," I growled at that look in her eyes again, pure adoration. "Make me come." I held her head and pumped my cock in and out of her mouth. "Fucking suck me love. Suck it deep."