‘Yeah, yeah. If you think I’m going to let that blue-haired cretin face the action out here while I cower inside, you’ve got another thing coming, Integrity Adair.’
‘I bet the other Clan Chieftains don’t have this problem,’ I grumbled, my eyes scanning the landscape for any sight of the monster that might be about to rush us.
‘What problem?’ Brochan asked innocently.
I was saved from answering by a flicker of bright green, such an unusual colour for this time of year that it stood out against the dark trees and layer of white frost. Brochan stiffened. I nodded and directed him to the right while I went left. We hugged the walls of the cabin. Whatever it was, it would make a move soon. Lexie had definitely been right about one thing – it was huge.
I might have bowed out of group heists but it wasn’t that long since Brochan and I worked together. We both possessed a sort of sixth sense about what the other was going to do, the kind that only develops after years of working closely together. Like symbiotic twins, we glanced at each other and began moving stealthily towards the trees on the other side of the path. I ducked behind a fir, struggling to peer round its bushy foliage; Brochan sensibly concealed himself behind a pine tree so it was easier for him to get a bead on what was ahead. While I shifted and craned my neck to get the best vantage point, out of my peripheral vision I spotted him do a double take. I turned towards him as he held up his hands and sketched a shapely female figure in the air. That didn’t make any sense. Then I heard the voice.
‘Hello? Candy? Are you there?’
I stiffened. Tipsania. What the hell was she doing here? While her antagonism towards me was no secret, she’d always been open about her hatred and I wouldn’t have put it past her to attack me in public. Skulking around in Scottish trees didn’t seem like her style. And who the hell was Candy? That name was worrying familiar.
I edged round the fir, adjusting my position so that I could see her and remain hidden. Peering through a gap in the needles, I understood why we’d assumed she was some enormous beast. The dress she was wearing looked like a full-blown ball gown; it was a ridiculous, with a Cinderella-type, meringue-shaped skirt that had to be five feet wide. I liked a pretty dress myself but her get-up wouldn’t be any good for covert action. This wasn’t about us at all. Something else was going on.
There was a loud wheeze, followed by the crunch of heavy footsteps. Brochan plastered himself against the tree trunk as the unmistakable form of a Wild Man appeared from beyond a dense copse of trees. I suddenly realised where I’d heard the name Candy before: he’d been working for Byron when we first met in Aberdeen. He’d also knocked me unconscious.
Like most of his kind, he was barefoot and built like a rhinoceros. When he spoke, however, his gentle tone completely belied his size. ‘Tip?’
Tipsania let out a girlish squeal and ran towards him, ignoring the fact that her skirt was catching on twigs and dead leaves. She flung herself at him while Brochan and I both gaped. Candy grabbed her waist and spun her round, lifting her up so he could kiss her. It was a passionate clinch. She’d been all over Byron yesterday; what on earth was going on?
‘I can’t stay long,’ she breathed, when he finally let her go. ‘I’m supposed to be at the competitors’ breakfast in twenty minutes.’
My stomach growled. A hot breakfast sounded really good. I shouldn’t have been surprised that Aifric – or anyone else – had ‘forgotten’ to tell me about it. Neither should I have been pissed off because it wasn’t like I could eat anything for fear of it being poisoned. The invitation would have been nice though.
‘I’ve missed you. Can’t you skip breakfast?’
‘Everyone else will be there and my absence would be noted.’ She sighed and leaned her head against his chest. Compared to the Wild Man, Tipsania looked tiny, even in that massive wedding cake of a dress.
‘It’s not too late to back out of the Games,’ he rumbled. ‘You know the later challenges are going to be dangerous and I don’t want you to get hurt.’
‘I can look after myself. And you know it’s the only way.’
‘The chances of you winning…’
‘Hush.’ She tilted her head up and gazed into his eyes. ‘I’m very motivated.’
He breathed in. ‘Tipsania Scrymgeour, I love you.’
She smiled, her expression reflecting a softness I hadn’t thought she was capable of. ‘I love you too, Candy Man.’
They kissed again while I cringed. He started fumbling with her dress, his large fingers surprisingly nimble, as if he was in the mood to shag her right here. I motioned to Brochan. We really didn’t need to see this. He nodded enthusiastically and we tiptoed back to the cabin. It was just as well it was the merman who ventured out with me; if it had been Taylor or Speck, they’d have wanted to stay and watch.
When we got back inside, Bob was awake and flitting from bed to bed. ‘I wanna kiss you,’ he sang. ‘I wanna fu…’
‘Enough.’
He faltered. ‘You’re no fun, Uh Integrity.’ He arched an eyebrow in my direction. ‘Is it because you’re too cold-hearted to understand the language of l’amour?’
I threw him a dirty look. He just grinned.
‘The genie’s right?’ Taylor asked.
I sat down heavily on the nearest bed and nodded. I still couldn’t believe it; the Tipsania I knew would never stoop to a dalliance with a non-Sidhe especially when she had Byron, the Steward’s son, in her sights. Was this some kind of ruse? Did she know more about the Games than she was supposed to and was she using the Wild Man so she could earn an advantage?
‘The look in her eyes,’ I mumbled.
Brochan nodded. ‘She’s head over heels in love. It sounds like she’s entering the Games so that if she wins she can ask for the Clans’ approval for her relationship with the Wild Man as her prize.’
He was probably right and I felt affronted on Byron’s behalf. Sure, I knew he was using her because of his Clan’s financial situation but she didn’t know that. What if he was also in love with her? She was waltzing around behind his back, canoodling with a Wild Man … and a Wild Man who worked for Byron, at that.
‘Uh Integrity,’ Bob piped up. ‘Your face has gone a most curious shade of purple.’
There was a sharp knock from the far side of the cabin. ‘Lexie is still out there,’ I said, glad of the diversion.
‘I’ll go and get her,’ Speck said.
I gave him a tight smile of acknowledgment. Unbelievable. I couldn’t even muster an appropriate joke.
*
A couple of hours later, still reeling from the revelation that Tipsania was tiptoeing around behind Byron’s back, I met with Chieftain MacBain. She still maintained the taut pout of disapproval but curiosity no longer lingered behind those sharp eyes. I felt a faint trickle of foreboding down my spine which was confirmed when her first words had nothing to do with her missing uncle.
‘Was it you?’ she demanded. ‘Because if there is any evidence that it was, you will be thrown out of here before you can so much as say Clan Adair.’
I blinked. ‘Excuse me?’
‘You know exactly what I’m talking about.’
I took a step back and folded my arms. ‘No,’ I said coolly. ‘I don’t.’
She pointed to her neck. She was dripping in finery in much the same manner as Tipsania. Clearly this opening ceremony called for grander clothes than I possessed.
I shook my head. ‘I’m not very good at charades. How many syllables?’
‘My necklace,’ she sneered. ‘I took it off last night before I went to bed. Now it’s nowhere to be found ‒ and there’s only one thief here, Ms Adair. What have you done with it?’
Actually there were five thieves hanging around the Cruaich but I didn’t think she’d appreciate me pointing it out. I immediately wondered if one of the others had taken a midnight jaunt to line their pockets but I knew none of them was daft enough. They wouldn’t risk this entire escapade for the sake
of some silver and pearls. Nah: forget five thieves – there were at least six.
‘I didn’t take your necklace,’ I told her. And then, because I wanted to be honest, ‘I only take pretty things.’
Her mouth twisted angrily. ‘You…’ She seemed unable to get the words out.
‘Bitch?’ I shrugged. ‘I’ve been called worse.’
‘You’re almost as bad as your father,’ she spat.
‘Really? Because I understand he was really something of a good man.’
‘Apart from the time he murdered over a thousand of his own Clan.’
‘Did he really, Chieftain MacBain?’ I asked. ‘Did he really do that?’
She didn’t answer. ‘Just give it back.’
‘I didn’t take it.’ Understanding was beginning to dawn, however. Apparently Aifric Moncrieffe had decided that killing me at the Cruaich was too dangerous, even for him. Why assassinate someone and leave a bloody mess to clean up when all you have to do is discredit them by stealing a few choice items and letting others point the finger at your victim?
‘I don’t believe you,’ Chieftain MacBain sneered.
‘Until you’ve got proof I took it, your accusation is demeaning,’ I told her, using the Sidhes’ own warped sense of honour against her. I’d have offered to let her search the cabin if I didn’t think that the necklace had probably already been planted there. At least Bob had returned the place to its original squalid state before we left that morning. It paid to be careful; unfortunately, we’d not been careful enough.
The calm demeanour which MacBain had shown yesterday had vanished and turmoil was written all over her face. This necklace must be important to her. She wanted to clap me in irons but, without evidence to back up her claims, she didn’t dare.
‘Look,’ I said patiently. ‘I didn’t take your necklace and I’m not here because of it.’ I dug into my pocket and pulled out Matthew MacBain’s signet ring. She didn’t give me the chance to show it to her.
‘Until you return my necklace, I have nothing to say to you. Get out.’
‘But…’
She raised a trembling hand and gestured towards the door. Damn it; obviously she wasn’t going to listen to a single thing I had to say. I’d probably have to run back to the cabin to find the damn necklace and dispose of it before she sent out troops to ransack the place. So much for getting her on side for the votes I needed to participate in the Games.
I looked at my watch. If I hurried, I could still check out the cabin.
I ran out of the MacBain suite of rooms, yelling to Taylor, Lexie, Brochan and Speck who were waiting outside with hopeful expressions, and sprinted down the castle stairs, taking them three at a time. Narrowly avoiding crashing into a nervous-looking pixie laden down with a tray of canapés, I ran out of the castle towards the competitors’ village, damning the fact that our cabin was located so far away.
I was too late. By the time I reached the cabin, the door was already wide open and there were shouts from within – and two burly Sidhe guys on guard outside. No doubt there would be questions about the amount of food we’d brought with us and I hated the thought of some Cruaich guard rummaging through my underwear. It wasn’t the potential discovery of the necklace which worried me the most, though – it was what might happen to Dagda’s harp, sitting quietly in the corner.
I stormed over, demanding to be allowed in and to know what right they had to invade our private space, just as Lexie showed up behind me. No doubt the others were close behind.
‘What the hell is going on, Tegs?’
‘Necklace. Stolen.’
I didn’t need to go into detail. Lexie immediately understood and tossed back her blue hair defiantly. ‘And they think we took it,’ she said flatly.
‘Actually, they think I did.’
‘One and the same,’ she grunted as Brochan arrived. He didn’t ask questions – he took one look at the cluster of bodies ransacking the cabin and barrelled forward. ‘Get the fuck out!’ he yelled.
The guards exchanged glances then moved to intercept him. ‘Sir,’ one said with undisguised loathing, ‘you need to wait outside.’
‘No chance,’ he snarled. He made to push past them but the second one raised his hand.
‘Brochan!’ I shouted in warning but it was too late; the guard, whose Gift seemed to involve some kind of electrical lightning strike, had already made his move. Brochan was thrown back, his body rising several feet into the air then landing some distance away with a heavy thump. Sickeningly, his limbs were still twitching.
‘You wankers!’ Lexie screamed, ready to follow in Brochan’s wake. Fortunately Speck appeared and grabbed hold of her. She struggled against him. ‘Let me go!’
‘You’re going to pay for what you’ve just done,’ I said calmly to the guard.
His lip curled as he looked me up and down. ‘I’m quaking in my boots,’ he sneered. I glared at him with the most hate-filled look I could muster up and his face paled. ‘Shit.’
‘Yeah,’ I told him. ‘I might not look much and I might hate violence but that doesn’t mean I’m not capable of doing whatever is necessary to protect me and mine, buster.’
‘Could someone,’ said Byron from behind me, ‘explain what’s going on here?’
Realisation dawned and I looked at the guard. ‘You’re afraid of him, not me.’ I nodded. ‘Right.’ Then I shrugged and tried to look fierce. ‘You’ll learn.’
The guard bowed to Byron while Goon Number One began babbling. ‘Integrity Taylor stands accused of theft. Chieftain MacBain’s necklace was stolen in the middle of the night while she slept. It’s worth thousands of pounds and…’
‘Enough.’
Taylor appeared, breathing heavily and with sweat on his brow. He caught sight of Brochan, still lying inert on the ground and ran over. ‘Is he…?’
‘He’s fine,’ Speck said, peering over Lexie’s shoulder. ‘Just a bit winded.’
Just as fucking well. I looked at Byron. ‘They have no evidence and no right to barge in to our room and rake through our stuff. We were all here all night. He,’ I jabbed my thumb in Goon Two’s direction, ‘assaulted a member of my entourage for no good reason. I demand reparation.’
Byron, his jaw set, gave me a grim look then strode past the guards and stared into the hut. Whoever was in there had stopped searching when they heard him arrive. ‘Out,’ he ordered.
He looked round for a long moment before turning back to us. ‘Who gave you this cabin?’
‘A servant brought us here,’ Speck said, loosening his grip on Lexie. She wrenched herself away with a glare that said he was in serious trouble later on and rubbed her wrists.
Byron looked even madder. ‘Does my father know this is where you are staying?’
That’s pretty much a given, I thought. ‘I have no idea,’ I said aloud. ‘Why? Is something wrong?’
Angry as he was, Byron still had time to look at me suspiciously. I tried to flutter my eyelashes but it probably looked like a fly had flown into my eyeballs. Thankfully, he switched his attention to the wankers who’d just left our cabin.
‘Did you find anything?’ he demanded. ‘Any necklace or stolen property?’
The guards wouldn’t meet his eyes. ‘Well, there’s a harp which looks pretty expensive.’
I balled up my fists. ‘If you’ve damaged it…’
Byron held up his index finger and I quietened. I’d made my point. ‘Anything else?’
‘No.’
I gave a silent sigh of relief. Was that because they’d not had time to find the necklace? It had to be planted somewhere.
‘Get out of here.’
I thought for a moment that Byron was referring to me but I relaxed when I realised he meant the Cruaich guards. ‘Yeah,’ I added. ‘And for your information it’s Integrity Taylor Adair. A. D. A. I. R. Adair. Got that?’
‘Integrity,’ Byron said.
‘Yep?’
‘You can shut up now.’
> ‘Everyone’s a hater,’ I mumbled. ‘Just because who Adairs wins.’
He didn’t smile. I rolled my eyes and stepped up beside him to peek inside. When I saw the harp uncovered but seemingly unharmed, I stood up straighter. Thank goodness for small mercies.
‘I apologise,’ Byron said stiffly, ‘that you were given accommodation like this. You should be in the village with everyone else. I’ll arrange for you to be moved there immediately.’
I looked quickly at the others, noting the glint in their eyes. ‘It’s not so bad here. The peace and quiet is nice and we like rustic living.’
Lexie nodded. ‘Communing with earth.’
‘At one with nature,’ Speck threw in.
Byron frowned but didn’t pursue it. ‘If you wish.’
I smiled. ‘We do. Although if you could install a permanent guard then we can avoid any future misunderstandings of this sort.’
His frown slowly evaporated and he scratched his chin; he knew where I was going with this. ‘You understand why you’d be a suspect, Integrity. You are a thief.’
I met his eyes. ‘I was a thief. Maybe you’re right and I still am that person but I’m not going to jeopardise my chance to compete in the Games. This wasn’t us.’ Brochan groaned and sat up, rubbing his forehead. My voice hardened. ‘Any of us.’
‘I believe you,’ Byron said quietly.
I nodded. ‘Thank you.’ Then, because I could afford to, I widened my smile. ‘I don’t suppose you could help us clean up?’
He bowed. ‘It would be my pleasure. Stand back.’
I raised my eyebrows and did as he requested. He smirked slightly and the green in his eyes deepened. I jumped about an inch into the air as there was a clatter from the cabin.
‘Have you ever seen Mary Poppins?’ Byron asked. ‘Or Fantasia?’
‘It’s been a while.’
He leaned in towards me and lowered his voice. ‘Then watch this.’
More clatters sounded. As the rest of us gaped, all manner of objects rose up and righted themselves. A pair of off-white Y-fronts floated in the air. Taylor coughed. ‘They’re mine. Black suitcase.’ They danced away and folded themselves neatly inside it.