Chapter VIII: Dreaming of Home
“So, there are only being perhaps hundred of us,” Kei-Pyama said. The morning after the strangers’ arrival she had just finished telling Stefi and Cédes, with some help from Radus, that many of the Alzandians were either dead or had left; only a few still stayed behind at the place they had once called home. The outlying towns lay abandoned, wreathed in the perpetual fog that had blanketed the western lands when Cédes first disappeared. Those who stayed behind now occupied the main palace on the lake.
“Not good at all,” Cédes said coldly. “I imagined coming home would mean many friends and family members. Instead I come home to emptiness.”
“It is sad, I agree,” Kei-Pyama said, purple eyes downcast. “I want sister to have happy times here.”
“Happy times,” Radus agreed, all the while smiling at Stefi. She returned his smile awkwardly.
Kei-Pyama continued. “The Elders would like to meet with you, sister Cédes. Come. We lead up.”
She took Cédes’s hand, and Radus, mimicking his sister, took Stefi’s. She started.
“Fine?” he asked, feeling her hesitation. “No kay?”
“Okay,” Stefi said, her stomach feeling rather strange. Maybe it was because she hadn’t had any breakfast and the prospect of climbing many stairs lay before her. Or perhaps it was something else.
As Kei-Pyama and Cédes moved on ahead, Stefi found herself and Cédes’s brother falling behind, feeling a deliberate slowness in his stride.
“So…” he said hesitantly, “what Stefi likes?”
She cast him a sideways glance. Was he making small talk?
“Okay?” he asked, remembering Stefi’s correction.
“Y-yeah,” she stammered. “Stefi likes… I mean I like ferrets. And walking, I suppose. My friends too.”
They took the stairs slowly, one at a time.
“Ferrets nice,” Radus said and grinned at Stefi. “Radus likes ferrets. And Stefi.”
“What?!” She stopped mid-step.
“Ferrets pretty. Stefi pretty. Radus like both.”
She felt her face burn red, redder than even Ifaut’s could get. And hotter than Cédes’s rage.
“No, no,” she said, trying to laugh him off. “Stefi not pretty.” She took stock of her dirty self and torn clothes, feeling anything but. “Stefi messy and dirty.” She wanted to tell him she was ugly too, that there were things beneath the exterior that were hardly pretty. The way she had snapped at Cédes on Djidou’s airship, for instance. And a certain event Feregana had reminded her of in Mafouras.
“Stefi pretty,” Radus repeated adamantly. “Not seen night-hair like hers. Dark. Nice. We talk Elders. Then make bath.”
She turned away, embarrassed. So even he noticed she was unkempt and unwashed. She looked to him again, noticing his clean clothes that were made of a light flaxen fiber, and felt even worse. She only hoped she didn’t smell.
Not in the least concerned, he resumed walking, leading Stefi higher up one of Alzandia’s lofty spires. “Stefi like Radus?” he asked, a hopeful gleam in his eyes.
She nodded. “Yeah. He’s cool.”
“Cool?” he echoed.
“Nice,” she explained. “Fun, even.”
“Stefi too cool.”
“Stefi is also cool,” she said and giggled. His poor command of the Common Language made him seem so innocent. Cute, even. And the way his eyes shined with such sincerity when he spoke made him seem even more so.
“Radus talk bad?” He cocked his head.
“He talks good for a beginner.”
A sneaky, toothy smile dawned across his face, a smile that almost made Stefi stop. “He talks well,” he corrected.
With another laugh she let go of his hand and punched his arm lightly but with affection. So this was how Ifaut felt in Sansonis’s company: happy and yet giddy. Those two had gotten along so well right after meeting; why shouldn’t she and Radus? It was a strange feeling, she thought, yet nice. Definitely nice.
“Stefi pretty,” he said for the third time as he took her hand again. “Stef- She’s cool!”
Having climbed countless stairs, Stefi and the three Alzandian Furosans found themselves in a large room, circular and cold. The only light slanted through an oculus at the height of the domed ceiling like a shaft of cloudy ice.
They stood in an open space, room enough for many people to assemble before the tiered seating opposite. The seats rose in three high tiers, five in each. Most sat empty; only four were occupied.
“Elders,” Radus whispered in Stefi’s ear. “Shh. Quiet time.”
A middle-aged woman, all silver hair and fierce expression, stood and, slowly and deliberately, drew in breath. “Cédes!” she boomed in a voice that made all four step back. “Not only do you dare show yourself here once more, White Demon, but you bring a human into our midst!” She slammed her fists on the desk before her.
Cédes stood impassively, her red eyes unblinking.
“We were rid of you, and for that we were thankful. But you have the nerve to drag yourself back? After all you have done?”
Cédes didn’t move, but Stefi knew that inside she must be torn. Home was turning out to be anywhere but.
The Elder stopped for a moment and turned her fury instead at Cédes’s brother and sister. The words she said in her own language were harsh, Stefi knew that much. The meaning was lost, but the emotion… even Sansonis, dense as he was, would have been be able to pick up on the venom they contained. She must have told Kei-Pyama and Radus to back away, for they did so. Reluctantly. Though not before Radus had patted Stefi reassuringly on the shoulder. Don’t worry, the gesture said, more articulate than his speech.
Cédes lifted her head. The small action required all her strength. Her eyes stared blindly into space above the Elder. “Wh-what have I done?” she whispered.
“How can you feign forgetfulness of your deeds?” the woman shouted, leaping to her feet. “Remember, you wretched creature. Probe that pathetic mind of yours and face the truth!”
Face streaked with silent tears, Cédes staggered and fell to her hands and knees. She didn’t move.
That moment Stefi realized her own teeth and fists were clenched. She could remain quiet in the face of the woman’s abuse no more. “What gives you the right to treat Cédes like that, you… you… bitch!” She didn’t care if Radus–if anyone–saw such ugliness from her. All that mattered was Cédes’s feelings, everyone else be damned.
The Furosan woman didn’t flinch and peered down her nose at Stefi, the sort of gesture only one who has inspired fear for a lifetime is able to give. Much like a particularly stern teacher. “I have every right,” she said levelly. “The Demon, the weapon, is my property and that of the Alzandian Elders. And a wretched mistake. Is that correct, Kei-Pyama?”
Kei-Pyama said nothing. She only stared morosely at the floor.
“Her silence is an affirmative,” the Elder continued as Cédes’s tears hit the ground.
“Just shut up!” Stefi yelled and, kneeling beside Cédes, put her arm about her.
“No,” Cédes said quietly. “She is correct.”
“You don’t have to let her get to you, you know,” Stefi whispered back.
“But it’s true!” Cédes’s voice came out strained, desperate. She stood up and brushed Stefi aside. “Look what I did in Valraines, look how I killed Sansonis and Ifaut, the people on those ships! Isn’t that the work of a weapon?”
“So,” the Elder continued almost smugly and crossed her arms, “she has since killed again.”
“Again?” Stefi echoed. “No…” Disbelief washed over her as the truth dawned, its light pale and cold. Why the woman had called her a weapon. Why Cédes had found herself so far from home. And why those here seemed loath to have her back. “You made her… a weapon. You used her to fight the humans, didn’t you? Then just disposed of her when you were done?”
A solemn nod in reply.
“Then why not thank her? Alzandia
’s still here. She saved you, didn’t she? And what thanks does she get?”
“Saved… or damned. I would not expect a human to understand. They are one and the same for us, lost to this fog all around.”
“It’s all about you, isn’t it?” Stefi shot back. “What about poor Cédes?”
Cédes stood up silently, fists clenched, eyes shimmering.
“Our biggest mistake, my biggest mistake.” Suddenly the Elder’s voice lowered, seemed to become almost sympathetic. Almost. “The girl was born with terrible powers; who could have known her Alzandian and Mafouran blood would mix so violently? But that alone was not enough to ward off the humans.”
Still Cédes said nothing, nor even moved. Silent, but not bearing herself with her usual quiet dignity. Rather, she stood supported only by the shock that froze her mind and body.
“The prophets soon advised that the girl would bring about the destruction of Alzandia should her power remain unchecked, a demon in Furosan form. Yet we persisted in forging her talents, and so wrought our own downfall.”
The strength left Stefi’s knees and she fell forward. Radus hurried over and caught her before she collapsed completely. He lowered her gently to the ground. “Bad talking,” he said, his shaking voice barely hiding his own anger. “Radus help Stefi and sister.”
“Persisted?” Stefi choked out.
“Torture.”
A crackling flame engulfed Cédes’s right hand, eliciting shocked gasps from all present. “Torture?” she screamed, voice rising hysterically. “You harmed me, one of your own, to increase my anger, to increase my power?”
The Elder replied yes.
“Then why do I remember nothing? Why-”
A chance to finish never came. A light so bright that even she could see it flared in her eyes, and all became silent. A vision.
She found herself upon a grassy plain, soft underfoot like a well-woven carpet, while behind her Alzandia’s towers loomed from the great lake. And before her stood row upon row of humans, all armed, an entire army come to Alzandia. She sniffed. The air hung thick with the scent of battle and looming death. And she knew, as she saw flames welling up about her and scorching the grass, that she was the one to bring it.
A sudden noise like a thousand winds slicing the air lifted her eyes skyward, where countless arrows launched in flight arced towards her. With a wave of her hand they disappeared, burning up like streaking meteors in the atmosphere.
As the lines of soldiers moved to advance, a splitting pain wracked her head, and she felt as if she would die from the pain.
She screamed, but whether it was from the agony or the raging firestorm now building about her she couldn’t tell. The only thing she could see was countless humans collapsing as the very air set alight and turned against them, robbing them of oxygen and life.
All she was aware of was the realization that the Elder had spoken the truth. She had been nurtured as a weapon, she had killed before then been discarded, and now she would kill again on a devastating scale. All to protect a home that long ago had cast her out. And at the cost of her own life.
Far away, between Feregana and Crepusculum, between Dream and Awakening, a rich scent wafted across the island of Iferona.
Ah, right on time! Pishti said enthusiastically. Who’s hungry?
As if on cue a bright light shimmered before the three ferrets, bringing with it even more of the delicious smell. Once the afterimages had cleared from their eyes, they found themselves looking up at a woman. She was older than Ifaut or even Cédes, but decidedly younger than Stefi’s mother. Her long brown hair had blue streaks like Sansonis’s, Gemmie and Maya were quick to notice. What really grabbed their attention was the smell wafting towards their noses from the ceramic bowl she held.
“Oh!” she gasped as she set the bowl upon the grass. Roast chicken. Gemmie and Maya’s favorite. “What are you two wee things doing here?”
You mean us? Gemmie said. Her eyes widened and tail puffed.
“Yes, you two cuties,” she said so gently that the ferret felt her fears caught up on the delicious breeze and carried away.
We’re… lost, Gemmie said as Maya eyed the food, more hungry than curious at the human who had just materialized before them.
“Lost?” the woman said and chuckled, her lilting laugh as pleasant as the smell of her food. “Lost? No, you must be mistaken. You’re right where you’re meant to be, silly Gem! Just a tad earlier than expected.”
No, lady, you’re mistaken, Maya interrupted.
He only provoked another laugh from the woman. She knelt down, blew gently upon him, and rubbed a soft hand through his fur. “Defiant as ever, Maya of Farān,” she said with a broad smile and shake of her head. “So defiant that you defend a town long doomed. So defiant that you refuse your death once to make it how you see fit later. And wow! Awakening to save Stefi and her friends. Nothing less than heroic and selfless from you, dear boy.”
Maya sniffed, more to get another whiff of the chicken than through any sign of disdain. You know me? he asked as he felt his suspicion melting beneath her touch.
“Since you were a kit, dear boy. Gemmie too. And Kilara.”
A shudder rippled through Maya’s slinky body and roused every hair once more to full attention. He leapt back, mouth wide. Do not dare mention her name again, he said, his voice low and threatening, rumbling like a far off summer storm.
“Sorry to probe an old wound, little one.” She prodded the bowl in his direction, tempting him to eat. Then she whispered, “She’s still waiting for you. Always has been. She misses her mate.”
That ferret, long dead far away, he had never spoken of to Stefi, rarely to Gemmie. The memories and guilt, even now, plagued him badly enough; even the mere mention of her name dredged up too many old feelings.
Gemmie nuzzled against him before casting a glance at the woman. He hurts, she said. Let it be.
The woman bent down, taking Maya completely in her hands, all the while wafting a soft, velvety scent. She held him close. “You’ll be okay, big boy. Here, this might help.” She shifted Maya into one hand, and with her free hand took a small bottle from her pocket. With deft fingers she removed the lid, dipped her pinkie in, and held it before Maya.
Wheatgerm oil? he asked, and his mood brightened.
“Yes, from Maiden Trikis herself. To ease the body and spirit.”
In less than a minute his eager tongue had cleared away the tasty, oily liquid that exuded an earthy feeling, nostalgia from kit-hood.
“All better?”
Thank you. He hesitated for a moment and looked into her friendly eyes, eyes the silver of starlight. Hey, who are you, anyway?
“Yifunis.”
A gasp from Gemmie. The Fieretsi? Just like Stefi!
“That’s right, Gem-girl,” Yifunis said and scooped up the smaller ferret in her free hand. “And I’ve been watching you two for a long time. Since you met, since Calo in Farān, since Stefi near Sumarana, everything. You’re doing all right, aren’t you?” She twisted her hand to accommodate a squirming Gemmie, who had been lured by the traces of oil on her finger.
But we miss Stefi, Gemmie said and ceased her oil-induced contortions.
“I know you do. Hey, I bet you’d like to see her again.”
Of course we would! Maya said. But we can’t. We’re here…
Yifunis smiled, her eyes looking unnervingly like Stefi’s. “I’ll send you back to Feregana if you like. But-” She glanced about even though there was no one around to hear what she said next in a whisper. “Just don’t tell anyone!”
Why not? Gemmie whispered back.
“It involves a second bridge,” she said. “Not Life and Death, but Dream and Awake. You unwittingly came one way across it, but getting back’s the hard part. Problem is, it’s technically not found yet. That’s Stefi’s job, you know.”
Gemmie gasped. That would be cheating!
“Just pretend you didn’t see it,” Yifunis said with a
cheeky wink. Then speaking louder, “Pishti, see you at dinnertime, okay?”
Yes, Miss Fieretsi, the sandy ferret said.
“That’s Yifunis, Mister Pishti,” she shot back. Her voice was teasing and gentle.
Yes, Miss Fieretsi.
“All righty then, you two,” she continued as she redirected her attention to Gemmie and Maya. “Where are we going?”
Home, two little voices said at once.
“Home it is.” Yifunis shifted both ferrets to her left hand, held her right above her head, and clicked her fingers.
A blinding rush of light and wind enveloped Gemmie and Maya, sweeping them into what felt like nothingness; no up, no down, no place even to be aware of. Gradually the roaring in their ears and eyes slowed, and the two ferrets fell hard upon a cold landscape that seemed to sprawl in all directions.
W-w-where are we now? Gemmie stammered. Yet another world? This one’s scary. She shuddered.
Maya didn’t respond. As the forces that had propelled them across worlds finally faded, the buildings about them emerged from a fog of light, bringing with them the realization that they weren’t standing upon some strange plane but a paved road.
Something was wrong. No movement, fire-blackened buildings, smashed windows. And the dark aura of familiarity in the air.
Maya laughed bitterly, breaking the stony silence. Farān, he said. We’re home, all right. It’s exactly as I remember it.
Gemmie looked to him with wide, dark eyes. It’s exactly how I never wanted to see it.
But it’s home. Or what the three of us once called home. You, me, and Kilara.