He made his way to it, the ship appearing to slip and twist beneath him as he moved. He lifted an arm over the lip of the tube, feeling for the rung, loosened each foot, and drew himself within.
The knot in his stomach that had been there from the first was a convulsed agony now. If they should choose to manipulate the ship, if the steam should whistle out now--
He would never hear it; never know it. One instant he would be holding a rung, feeling slowly for the next with a groping arm. The next moment he would be alone in space, the ship a dark, dark nothingness lost forever among the stars. There would be, perhaps, a brief glory of swirling ice crystals drifting with him, shining in his wrist-lights and slowly approaching and rotating about him, attracted by his mass like infinitesimal planets to an absurdly tiny Sun.
He was trickling sweat again, and now he was also conscious of thirst. He put it out of his mind. There would be no drinking until he was out of his suit--if ever.
Up a rung; up another; and another. How many were there? His hand slipped and he stared in disbelief at the glitter that showed under his light.
Ice?
Why not? The steam, incredibly hot as it was, would strike metal that was at nearly absolute zero. In the few split-seconds of thrust, there would not be time for the metal to warm above the freezing point of water. A sheet of ice would condense that would sublime slowly into the vacuum. It was the speed of all that happened that prevented the fusion of the tubes and of the original water-container itself.
His groping hand reached the end. Again the wrist-lights. He stared with crawling horror at the steam nozzle, half an inch in diameter. It looked dead, harmless. But it always would, right up to the micro-second before--
Around it was the outer steam lock. It pivoted on a central hub that was springed on the portion toward space, screwed on the part toward the ship. The springs allowed it to give under the first wild thrust of steam pressure before the ship’s mighty inertia could be overcome. The steam was bled into the inner chamber, breaking the force of the thrust, leaving the total energy unchanged, but spreading it over time so that the hull itself was in that much less danger of being staved in.
Mullen braced himself firmly against a rung and pressed against the outer lock so that it gave a little. It was stiff, but it didn’t have to give much, just enough to catch on the screw. He felt it catch.
He strained against it and turned it, feeling his body twist in the opposite direction. It held tight, the screw taking up the strain as he carefully adjusted the small control switch that allowed the springs to fall free. How well he remembered the books he had read!
He was in the interlock space now, which was large enough to hold a man comfortably, again for convenience in repairs. He could no longer be blown away from the ship. If the steam blast were turned on now, it would merely drive him against the inner lock-hard enough to crush him to a pulp. A quick death he would never feel, at least.
Slowly, he unhooked his spare oxygen cylinder. There was only an inner lock between himself and the control room now. This lock opened outward into space so that the steam blast could only close it tighter, rather than blow it open. And it fitted tightly and smoothly. There was absolutely no way to open it from without.
He lifted himself above the lock, forcing his bent back against the inner surface of the interlock area. It made breathing difficult. The spare oxygen cylinder dangled at a queer angle. He held its metal-mesh hose and straightened it, forcing it against the inner lock so that vibration thudded. Again-- again--
It would have to attract the attention of the Kloros. They would have to investigate.
He would have no way of telling when they were about to do so. Ordinarily, they would first let air into the interlock to force the outer lock shut.
But now the outer lock was on the central screw, well away from its rim. Air would suck about it ineffectually, dragging out into space.
Mullen kept on thumping. Would the Kloros look at the air-gauge, note that it scarcely lifted from zero, or would they take its proper working for granted?
Porter said, “He’s been gone an hour and a half.”
“I know,” said Stuart.
They were all restless, jumpy, but the tension among themselves had disappeared. It was as though all the threads of emotion extended to the hull of the ship.
Porter was bothered. His philosophy of life had always been simple--take care of yourself because no one will take care of you for you. It upset him to see it shaken.
He said, “Do you suppose they’ve caught him?”
“If they had, we’d hear about it,” replied Stuart, briefly.
Porter felt, with a miserable twinge, that there was little interest on the part of the others in speaking to him. He could understand it; he had not exactly earned their respect. For the moment, a torrent of self-excuse poured through his mind. The others had been frightened, too. A man had a right to be afraid. No one likes to die. At least, he hadn’t broken like Aristides Polyorketes. He hadn’t wept like Leblanc. He-- But there was Mullen, out there on the hull.
“Listen,” he cried, “why did he do it?” They turned to look at him, not understanding, but Porter didn’t care. It bothered him to the point where it had to come out. “I want to know why Mullen is risking his life.”
“The man,” said Windham, “is a patriot--”
“No, none of that!” Porter was almost hysterical. “That little fellow has no emotions at all. He just has reasons and I want to know what those reasons are, because--”
He didn’t finish the sentence. Could he say that if those reasons applied to a little middle-aged bookkeeper, they might apply even more forcibly to himself?
Polyorketes said, “He’s one brave damn little fellow.”
Porter got to his feet. “Listen,”, he said, “he may be stuck out there. Whatever he’s doing, he may not be able to finish it alone. I--I volunteer to go out after him.”
He was shaking as he said it and he waited in fear for the sarcastic lash of Stuart’s tongue. Stuart was staring at him, probably with surprise, but Porter dared not meet his eyes to make certain.
Stuart said, mildly, “Let’s give him another half-hour.”
Porter looked up, startled. There was no sneer on Stuart’s face. It was even friendly. They all looked friendly.
He said, “And then--”
“And then all those who do volunteer will draw straws or something equally democratic. Who volunteers, besides Porter?”
They all raised their hands; Stuart did, too.
But Porter was happy. He had volunteered first. He was anxious for the half-hour to pass.
It caught Mullen by surprise. The outer lock flew open and the long, thin, snakelike, almost headless neck of a Kloro sucked out, unable to fight the blast of escaping air.
Mullen’s cylinder flew away, almost tore free. After one wild moment of frozen panic, he fought for it, dragging it above the airstream, waiting as long as he dared to let the first fury die down as the air of the control room thinned out, then bringing it down with force.
It caught the sinewy neck squarely, crushing it. Mullen, curled above the lock, almost entirely protected from the stream, raised the cylinder again and plunging it down again striking the head, mashing the staring eyes to liquid ruin. In the near-vacuum, green blood was pumping out of what was left of the neck.
Mullen dared not vomit, but he wanted to.
With eyes averted, he backed away, caught the outer lock with one hand and imparted a whirl. For several seconds, it maintained that whirl. At the end of the screw, the springs engaged automatically and pulled it shut.
What was left of the atmosphere tightened it and the laboring pumps could now begin to fill the control room once again.
Mullen crawled over the mangled Kloro and into the room. It was empty.
He had barely time to notice that when he found himself on his knees. He rose with difficulty. The tr
ansition from non-gravity to gravity had taken him entirely by surprise. It was Klorian gravity, too, which meant that with this suit, he carried a fifty percent overload for his small frame. At least, though, his heavy metal clogs no longer clung so exasperatingly to the metal underneath. Within the ship, floors and wall were of cork-covered aluminum alloy.
He circled slowly. The neckless Kloro had collapsed and lay with only an occasional twitch to show it had once been a living organism. He stepped over it, distastefully, and drew the steam-tube lock shut.
The room had a depressing bilious cast and the lights shone yellow-green. It was the Kloro atmosphere, of course.
Mullen felt a twinge of surprise and reluctant admiration. The Kloros obviously had some way of treating materials so that they were impervious to the oxidizing effect of chlorine. Even the map of Earth on the wall, printed on glossy plastic-backed paper, seemed fresh and untouched. He approached, drawn by the familiar outlines of the continents--
There was a flash of motion caught in the corner of his eyes. As quickly as he could in his heavy suit, he turned, then screamed. The Kloro he had thought dead was rising to its feet.
Its neck hung limp, an oozing mass of tissue mash, but its arms reached out blindly, and the tentacles about its chest vibrated rapidly like innumerable snakes’ tongues.
It was blind, of course. The destruction of its neck-stalk had deprived it of all sensory equipment, and partial asphyxiation had disorganized it. But the brain remained whole and safe in the abdomen. It still lived.
Mullen backed away. He circled, trying clumsily and unsuccessfully to tiptoe, though he knew that what was left of the Kloro was also deaf. It blundered on its way, struck a wall, felt to the base and began sidling along it.
Mullen cast about desperately for a weapon, found nothing. There was the Kloro’s holster, but he dared not reach for it. Why hadn’t he snatched it at the very first? Fool!
The door to the control room opened. It made almost no noise. Mullen turned, quivering.
The other Kloro entered, unharmed, entire. It stood in the doorway for a moment, chest-tendrils stiff and unmoving; its neck-stalk stretched forward; its horrible eyes flickering first at him and then at its nearly dead comrade.
And then its hand moved quickly to its side.
Mullen, without awareness, moved as quickly in pure reflex. He stretched out the hose of the spare oxygen-cylinder, which, since entering the control room, he had replaced in its suit-clamp, and cracked the valve. He didn’t bother reducing the pressure. He let it gush out unchecked so that he nearly staggered under the backward push.
He could see the oxygen stream. It was a pale puff, billowing out amid the chlorine-green. It caught the Kloro with one hand on the weapon’s holster.
The Kloro threw its hands up. The little beak on its head-nodule opened alarmingly but noiselessly. It staggered and fell, writhed for a moment, then lay still. Mullen approached and played the oxygen-stream upon its body as though he were extinguishing a fire. And then he raised his heavy foot and brought it down upon the center of the neck-stalk and crushed it on the floor.
He turned to the first. It was sprawled, rigid.
The whole room was pale with oxygen, enough to kill whole legions of Kloros, and his cylinder was empty.
Mullen stepped over the dead Kloro, out of the control room and along the main corridor toward the prisoners’ room.
Reaction had set in. He was whimpering in blind, incoherent fright.
Stuart was tired. False hands and all, he was at the controls of a ship once again. Two light cruisers of Earth were on the way. For better than twenty-four hours he had handled the controls virtually alone. He had discarded the chlorinating equipment, rerigged the old atmospherics, located the ship’s position in space, tried to plot a course, and sent out carefully guarded signals--which had worked.
So when the door of the control room opened, he was a little annoyed. He was too tired to play conversational handball. Then he turned, and it was Mullen stepping inside.
Stuart said, “For God’s sake, get back into bed, Mullen!”
Mullen said, “I’m tired of sleeping, even though I never thought I would be a while ago.”
“How do you feel?”
“I’m stiff all over. Especially my side.” He grimaced and stared involuntarily around.
“Don’t look for the Kloros,” Stuart said. “We dumped the poor devils.” He shook his head. “I was sorry for them. To themselves, they’re the human beings, you know, and we’re the aliens. Not that I’d rather they’d killed you, you understand.”
“I understand.”
Stuart turned a sidelong glance upon the little man who sat looking at the map of Earth and went on, “I owe you a particular and personal apology, Mullen. I didn’t think much of you.”
“It was your privilege,” said Mullen in his dry voice, There was no feeling in it.
“No, it wasn’t. It is no one’s privilege to despise another. It is only a hard-won right after long experience.”
“Have you been thinking about this?”
“Yes, all day. Maybe I can’t explain. It’s these hands.” He held them up before him, spread out. “It was hard knowing that other people had hands of their own. I had to hate them for it. I always had to do my best to investigate and belittle their motives, point up their deficiencies, expose their stupidities. I had to do anything that would prove to myself that they weren’t worth envying.”
Mullen moved restlessly. “This explanation is not necessary.”
“It is. It is!” Stuart felt his thoughts intently, strained to put them into words. “For years I’ve abandoned hope of finding any decency in human beings. Then you climbed into the C-chute.”
“You had better understand,” said Mullen, “that I was motivated by practical and selfish considerations. I will not have you present me to myself as a hero.”
“I wasn’t intending to. I know that you would do nothing without a reason. It was what your action did to the rest of us. It turned a collection of phonies and fools into decent people. And not by magic either. They were decent all along. It was just that they needed something to live up to and you supplied it. And--I’m one of them. I’ll have to live up to you, too. For the rest of my life, probably.”
Mullen turned away uncomfortably. His hand straightened his sleeves, which were not in the least twisted. His finger rested on the map.
He said, “I was born in Richmond, Virginia, you know. Here it is. I’ll be going there first. Where were you born?”
“Toronto,” said Stuart.
“That’s right here. Not very far apart on the map, is it?”
Stuart said, “Would you tell me something?”
“If I can.”
“Just why did you go out there?”
Mullen’s precise mouth pursed. He said, dryly, “Wouldn’t my rather prosaic reason ruin the inspirational effect?”
“Call it intellectual curiosity. Each of the rest of us had such obvious motives. Porter was scared to death of being interned; Leblanc wanted to get back to his sweetheart; Polyorketes wanted to kill Kloros; and Windham was a patriot according to his lights. As for me, I thought of myself as a noble idealist, I’m afraid. Yet in none of us was the motivation strong enough to get us into a spacesuit and out the C-chute. Then what made you do it, you, of all people?”
“Why the phrase, ‘of all people’?”
“Don’t be offended, but you seem devoid of all emotion.”
“Do I?” Mullen’s voice did not change. It remained precise and soft, yet somehow a tightness had entered it. “That’s only training, Mr. Stuart, and self-discipline; not nature. A small man can have no respectable emotions. Is there anything more ridiculous than a man like myself in a state of rage? I’m five feet and one-half inch tall, and one hundred and two pounds in weight, if you care for exact figures. I insist on the half inch and the two pounds.
“Can I b
e dignified? Proud? Draw myself to my full height without inducing laughter? Where can I meet a woman who will not dismiss me instantly with a giggle? Naturally, I’ve had to learn to dispense with external display of emotion.
“You talk about deformities. No one would notice your hands or know they were different, if you weren’t so eager to tell people all about it the instant you meet them. Do you think that the eight inches of height I do not have can be hidden? That it is not the first and, in most cases, the only thing about me that a person will notice?”
Stuart was ashamed. He had invaded a privacy he ought not have. He said, “I’m sorry.”
“Why?”
“I should not have forced you to speak of this. I should have seen for myself that you--that you--”
“That I what? Tried to prove myself? Tried to show that while I might be small in body, I held within it a giant’s heart?”
“I would not have put it mockingly.”
“Why not? It’s a foolish idea, and nothing like it is the reason I did what I did. What would I have accomplished if that’s what was in my mind? Will they take me to Earth now and put me up before the television cameras-- pitching them low, of course, to catch my face, or standing me on a chair-- and pin medals on me?”
“They are quite likely to do exactly that.”
“And what good would it do me? They would say, ‘Gee, and he’s such a little guy.’ And afterward, what? Shall I tell each man I meet, ‘You know, I’m the fellow they decorated for incredible valor last month?’ How many medals, Mr. Stuart, do you suppose it would take to put eight inches and sixty pounds on me?”
Stuart said, “Put that way, I see your point.”
Mullen was speaking a trifle more quickly now; a controlled heat had entered his words, warming them to just a tepid room temperature. “There were days when I thought I would show them, the mysterious ‘them’ that includes all the world. I was going to leave Earth and carve out worlds for myself. I would be a new and even smaller Napoleon. So I left Earth and went to Arcturus. And what could I do on Arcturus that I could not have done on Earth? Nothing. I balance books. So I am past the vanity, Mr. Stuart, of trying to stand on tiptoe.”