I opened my mouth and Cliff must have known what I was going to say, because he yelled, “No. No, don’t say it!”
But I couldn’t stop myself. It just came out and I said, “Well, look, let’s disconnect Junior--What’s the matter?”
Cliff said bitterly, “Because he’s listening to what we say, you jackass. He heard about the blowtorch, didn’t he? I was going to sneak up behind it, but now it will probably electrocute me if I try.”
Mary Ann was still brushing at the back of her dress and saying how dirty the floor was, even though I kept telling her I had nothing to do with that. I mean, it’s the janitor that makes the mud.
Anyway, she said, “Why don’t you put on rubber gloves and yank the cord out?”
I could see Cliff was trying to think of reasons why that wouldn’t work. He didn’t think of any, so he put on the rubber gloves and walked towards Junior.
I yelled, “Watch out!”
It was a stupid thing to say. He had to watch out; he had no choice. One of the tentacles moved and there was no doubt what they were now. It whirled out and drew a line between Cliff and the power cable. It remained there, vibrating a little with its six finger-tendrils splayed out. Tubes inside Junior were beginning to glow. Cliff didn’t try to go past that tentacle. He backed away and after a while, it spiraled inward again. He took off his rubber gloves.
“Bill,” he said, “we’re not going to get anywhere. That’s a smarter gadget than we dreamed we could make. It was smart enough to use my voice as a model when it built its diaphragm. It may become smart enough to learn how to--” He looked over his shoulder, and whispered, “how to generate its own power and become self-contained.
“Bill, we’ve got to stop it, or someday someone will telephone the planet Earth and get the answer, ‘Honest, boss, there’s nobody here anywhere but us complicated thinking machines!’ “
“Let’s get in the police,” I said. “We’ll explain. A grenade, or something--”
Cliff shook his head, “We can’t have anyone else find out. They’ll build other Juniors and it looks like we don’t have enough answers for that kind of a project after all.”
“Then what do we do?”
“I don’t know.”
I felt a sharp blow on my chest. I looked down and it was Mary Ann, getting ready to spit fire. She said, “Look, lunkhead, if we’ve got a date, we’ve got one, and if we haven’t, we haven’t. Make up your mind.”
I said, “Now, Mary Ann--”
She said, “Answer me. I never heard such a ridiculous thing. Here I get dressed to go to a play, and you take me to a dirty laboratory with a foolish machine and spend the rest of the evening twiddling dials.”
“Mary Ann, I’m not--”
She wasn’t listening; she was talking. I wish I could remember what she said after that. Or maybe I don’t; maybe it’s just as well I can’t remember, since none of it was very complimentary. Every once in a while I would manage a “But, Mary Ann--” and each time it would get sucked under and swallowed up.
Actually, as I said, she’s a very gentle creature and it’s only when she gets excited that she’s ever talkative or unreasonable. Of course, with red hair, she feels she ought to get excited rather often. That’s my theory, anyway. She just feels she has to live up to her red hair.
Anyway, the next thing I do remember clearly is Mary Ann finishing with a stamp on my right foot and then turning to leave. I ran after her, trying once again, “But, Mary Ann--”
Then Cliff yelled at us. Generally, he doesn’t pay any attention to us, but this time he was shouting, “Why don’t you ask her to marry you, you lunkhead?”
Mary Ann stopped. She was in the doorway by then but she didn’t turn around. I stopped too, and felt the words get thick and clogged up in my throat. I couldn’t even manage a “But, Mary Ann--”
Cliff was yelling in the background. I heard him as though he were a mile away. He was shouting, “I got it! I got it!” over and over again.
Then Mary Ann turned and she looked so beautiful-- Did I tell you that she’s got green eyes with a touch of blue in them? Anyway she looked so beautiful that all the words in my throat jammed together very tightly and came out in that funny sound you make when you swallow.
She said, “Were you going to say something, Bill?”
Well, Cliff had put it in my head. My voice was hoarse and I said, “Will you marry me, Mary Ann?”
The minute I said it, I wished I hadn’t, because I thought she would never speak to me again. Then two minutes after that I was glad I had, because she threw her arms around me and reached up to kiss me. It was a while before I was quite clear what was happening, and then I began to kiss back. This went on for quite a long time, until Cliff’s banging on my shoulder managed to attract my attention.
I turned and said, snappishly, “What the devil do you want?” It was a little ungrateful. After all, he had started this.
He said, “Look!”
In his hand, he held the main lead that had connected Junior to the power supply.
I had forgotten about Junior, but now it came back. I said, “He’s disconnected, then.”
“Cold!”
“How did you do it?”
He said, “Junior was so busy watching you and Mary Ann fight that I managed to sneak up on it. Mary Ann put on one good show.”
I didn’t like that remark because Mary Ann is a very dignified and self-contained sort of girl and doesn’t put on “shows.” However, I had too much in hand to take issue with him.
I said to Mary Ann, “I don’t have much to offer, Mary Ann; just a school teacher’s salary. Now that we’ve dismantled Junior, there isn’t even any chance of--”
Mary Ann said, “I don’t care, Bill. I just gave up on you, you lunkheaded darling. I’ve tried practically everything--”
“You’ve been kicking my shins and stamping on my toes.”
“I’d run out of everything else. I was desperate.”
The logic wasn’t quite clear, but I didn’t answer because I remembered about the show. I looked at my watch and said, “Look, Mary Ann, if we hurry we can still make the second act.”
She said, “Who wants to see the show?”
So I kissed her some more; and we never did get to see the show at all.
There’s only one thing that bothers me now. Mary Ann and I are married, and we’re perfectly happy. I just had a promotion; I’m an associate professor now. Cliff keeps working away at plans for building a controllable Junior and he’s making progress.
None of that’s it.
You see, I talked to Cliff the next evening, to tell him Mary Ann and I were going to marry and to thank him for giving me the idea. And after staring at me for a minute, he swore he hadn’t said it; he hadn’t shouted for me to propose marriage.
Of course, there was something else in the room with Cliff’s voice.
I keep worrying Mary Ann will find out. She’s the gentlest girl I know, but she has got red hair. She can’t help trying to live up to that, or have I said that already?
Anyway, what will she say if she ever finds out that I didn’t have the sense to propose till a machine told me to?
---
We all have our lovable eccentricities and I have a few that are all my own. For instance, I hate nice days. Show me a day in which the temperature is just 78, and a light breeze has the lush foliage of June, or the just turning leaves of September, rustling with a soft murmur; a day in which there is a drowsy softness over the landscape, and a sweet freshness to the air, and a general peacefulness over the world, and I’ll show you one unhappy fellow--namely, me.
There’s a reason for it, a good one. (you don’t think I’m irrational, do you?) As I said in the preface to “Sally,” I am a compulsive writer. That means that my idea of a pleasant time is to go up to my attic, sit at my electric typewriter (as I am doing right now), and bang away, watching the words take s
hape like magic before my eyes. To minimize distractions, I keep the window-shades down at all times and work exclusively by artificial light.
No one has any particular objection to this as long as we have the sleet of a typical New England late fall day darting through the air, or the blustering wind of a typical New England early spring day, or the leaden weight of Gulf air that splats out over New England in the summer, or the dancing flakes of that third foot of snow that blankets New England in the winter. Everyone says, “Boy, you’re lucky you don’t have to go out in that weather.”
And I agree with them. But then comes a beautiful day in May-June or September-October and everyone says to me, “What are you doing indoors on a day like this, you creep?” Sometimes out of sheer indignation they pick me up and throw me out the window so I can enjoy the nice day.
The niceness of being a writer, of course, is that you can take an your frustrations and annoyances and spread them out on paper. This prevents them from building up to dangerous levels and explains why writers in general are such lovable, normal people and are a joy to all who know them.
For instance, I wrote a novel in 1953 which pictured a world in which everyone lived in underground cities, comfortably enclosed away from the open air.
People would say, “How could you imagine such a nightmarish situation?” And I would answer in astonishment, “What nightmarish situation?”
But with me everything becomes a challenge. Having made my pitch in favor of enclosure, I wondered if I could reverse the situation.
So I wrote “It’s Such a Beautiful Day”--and did such a good job at convincing myself, that very often these days, sometimes twice in one week, when I feel I’ve put in a good day’s work, I go out in the late afternoon and take a walk through the neighborhood.
But I don’t know. That thing you people have up there in the sky. It’s got quite a glare to it.
First appearance--Star Science Fiction Stories #3. Copyright, 1954, by Ballantine Books, Inc.
It’s Such a Beautiful Day
On April 12, 2117, the field-modulator brake-valve in the Door belonging to Mrs. Richard Hanshaw depolarized for reasons unknown. As a result, Mrs. Hanshaw’s day was completely upset and her son, Richard, Jr., first developed his strange neurosis.
It was not the type of thing you would find listed as a neurosis in the usual textbooks and certainly young Richard behaved, in most respects, just as a well-brought-up twelve-year-old in prosperous circumstances ought to behave.
And yet from April 12 on, Richard Hanshaw, Jr., could only with regret ever persuade himself to go through a Door.
Of all this, on April 12, Mrs. Hanshaw had no premonition. She woke in the morning (an ordinary morning) as her mekkano slithered gently into her room, with a cup of coffee on a small tray. Mrs. Hanshaw was planning a visit to New York in the afternoon and she had several things to do first that could not quite be trusted to a mekkano, so after one or two sips, she stepped out of bed.
The mekkano backed away, moving silently along the diamagnetic field that kept its oblong body half an inch above the floor, and moved back to the kitchen, where its simple computer was quite adequate to set the proper controls on the various kitchen appliances in order that an appropriate breakfast might be prepared.
Mrs. Hanshaw, having bestowed the usual sentimental glance upon the cubograph of her dead husband, passed through the stages of her morning ritual with a certain contentment. She could hear her son across the hall clattering through his, but she knew she need not interfere with him. The mekkano was well adjusted to see to it, as a matter of course, that he was showered, that he had on a change of clothing, and that he would eat a nourishing breakfast. The tergo-shower she had had installed the year before made the morning wash and dry so quick and pleasant that, really, she felt certain Dickie would wash even without supervision.
On a morning like this, when she was busy, it would certainly not be necessary for her to do more than deposit a casual peck on the boy’s cheek before he left. She heard the soft chime the mekkano sounded to indicate approaching school time and she floated down the force-lift to the lower floor (her hair-style for the day only sketchily designed, as yet) in order to perform that motherly duty.
She found Richard standing at the door, with his text-reels and pocket projector dangling by their strap and a frown on his face.
“Say, Mom,” he said, looking up, “I dialed the school’s co-ords but nothing happens.”
She said, almost automatically, “Nonsense, Dickie. I never heard of such a thing.”
“Well, you try.”
Mrs. Hanshaw tried a number of times. Strange, the school Door was always set for general reception. She tried other co-ordinates. Her friends’ Doors might not be set for reception, but there would be a signal at least, and then she could explain.
But nothing happened at all. The Door remained an inactive gray barrier despite all her manipulations. It was obvious that the Door was out of order --and only five months after its annual fall inspection by the company.
She was quite angry about it.
It would happen on a day when she had so much planned. She thought petulantly of the fact that a month earlier she had decided against installing a subsidiary Door on the ground that it was an unnecessary expense. How was she to know that Doors were getting to be so shoddy?
She stepped to the visiphone while the anger still burned in her and said to Richard, “You just go down the road, Dickie, and use the Williamsons’ Door.”
Ironically, in view of later developments, Richard balked. “Aw, gee, Mom, I’ll get dirty. Can’t I stay home till the Door is fixed?”
And, as ironically, Mrs. Hanshaw insisted. With her finger on the combination board of the phone, she said, “You won’t get dirty if you put flexies on your shoes, and don’t forget to brush yourself well before you go into their house.”
“But, golly--”
“No back-talk, Dickie. You’ve got to be in school. Just let me see you walk out of here. And quickly, or you’ll be late.”
The mekkano, an advanced model and very responsive, was already standing before Richard with flexies in one appendage.
Richard pulled the transparent plastic shields over his shoes and moved down the hall with visible reluctance. “I don’t even know how to work this thing, Mom.”
“You just push that button,” Mrs. Hanshaw called. “The red button. Where it says ‘For Emergency Use.’ And don’t dawdle. Do you want the mekkano to go along with you?”
“Gosh, no,” he called back, morosely, “what do you think I am? A baby? Gosh!” His muttering was cut off by a slam.
With flying fingers, Mrs. Hanshaw punched the appropriate combination on the phone board and thought of the things she intended saying to the company about this.
Joe Bloom, a reasonable young man, who had gone through technology school with added training in force-field mechanics, was at the Hanshaw residence in less than half an hour. He was really quite competent, though Mrs. Hanshaw regarded his youth with deep suspicion.
She opened the movable house-panel when he first signaled and her sight of him was as he stood there, brushing at himself vigorously to remove the dust of the open air. He took off his flexies and dropped them where he stood. Mrs. Hanshaw closed the house-panel against the flash of raw sunlight that had entered. She found herself irrationally hoping that the step-by-step trip from the public Door had been an unpleasant one. Or perhaps that the public Door itself had been out of order and the youth had had to lug his tools even farther than the necessary two hundred yards. She wanted the Company, or its representative at least, to suffer a bit. It would teach them what broken Doors meant.
But he seemed cheerful and unperturbed as he said, “Good morning, ma’am. I came to see about your Door.”
“I’m glad someone did,” said Mrs. Hanshaw, ungraciously. “My day is quite ruined.”
“Sorry, ma’am. What see
ms to be the trouble?”
“It just won’t work. Nothing at all happens when you adjust co-ords,” said Mrs. Hanshaw. “There was no warning at all. I had to send my son out to the neighbors through that--that thing.”
She pointed to the entrance through which the repair man had come.
He smiled and spoke out of the conscious wisdom of his own specialized training in Doors. “That’s a door, too, ma’am. You don’t give that kind a capital letter when you write it. It’s a hand-door, sort of. It used to be the only kind once.”
“Well, at least it works. My boy’s had to go out in the dirt and germs.”
“It’s not bad outside today, ma’am,” he said, with the connoisseur-like air of one whose profession forced him into the open nearly every day. “Sometimes it is real unpleasant. But I guess you want I should fix this here Door, ma’am, so I’ll get on with it.”
He sat down on the floor, opened the large tool case he had brought in with him and in half a minute, by use of a point-demagnetizer, he had the control panel removed and a set of intricate vitals exposed.
He whistled to himself as he placed the fine electrodes of the field-analyzer on numerous points, studying the shifting needles on the dials. Mrs. Hanshaw watched him, arms folded.
Finally, he said, “Well, here’s something,” and with a deft twist, he disengaged the brake-valve.
He tapped it with a fingernail and said, “This here brake-valve is depolarized, ma’am. There’s your whole trouble.” He ran his finger along the little pigeonholes in his tool case and lifted out a duplicate of the object he had taken from the door mechanism. “These things just go all of a sudden. Can’t predict it.”