Page 6 of Patiently Alice


  “I told you why!” Estelle countered. “Latisha’s always leaving them for me to stumble over, and they stink!”

  “No worse’n yours do!” Latisha shouted.

  “And Latisha’s always bossing us around, telling people what to do,” said Estelle.

  “Yeah? She bossier than me. She thinks she’s white too!” said Latisha. “She’s colored too, ain’t she, Alice? You got taco blood in you, you’re colored.”

  “Okay, here’s the deal,” said Gwen. “We’ve got two girls who have to learn to get along with each other and a pair of sneakers dangling over the wire out there. You’ve got till three o’clock this afternoon to figure out a way to get them down, and you have to do it together. You can’t ask anyone else to do it for you. If you’re still enemies but you get them down, you get one point. If you get them down and you’re not enemies anymore, you get two points. And if you get them down and decide to be friends the rest of the time we’re here, you get three points.”

  “So what do we get with the points?” asked Latisha.

  “One point, you get an extra bag of popcorn at the movie Saturday night. Two points, you get two bags of popcorn and a Milky Way. Three points…”

  “Three points you have to kiss Joe Ortega in front of us!” said Estelle.

  The cabin suddenly erupted in laughter, Latisha and Estelle both hooting together.

  “You got it!” said Gwen, looking a little unnerved. “You get the shoes down and figure out how to be friends, and Joe and I will kiss right here in the doorway for all to see.”

  The Coyotes squealed and carried on, hands over their mouths, eyes wide with delight. We herded them to the dining hall for lunch.

  Afterward it took some doing, but Estelle and Latisha finally borrowed a stepladder from the caretaker, carried it down to the cabin, and set it up, under Gwen’s supervision. Estelle got an oar from the boathouse, climbed halfway up, with Latisha holding the ladder steady, and managed to knock the sneakers off the sign. They fell to the ground with a thud.

  Estelle looked at Latisha uncertainly, but there was devilment in her eyes. “Okay, we’re friends,” she said.

  “Really?” I asked.

  Latisha gave a shrug. “Yeah,” she said.

  “Is this a promise that you’ll really try?” asked Gwen.

  Now Latisha was grinning. “Yeah. Now you got to go get Joe.”

  After Estelle climbed down and the ladder was returned, Gwen went in search of Joe Ortega and brought him grinning to the door of the cabin, the boys from his own cabin trailing curiously behind.

  “Okay, girls, get ready,” Joe said. He glanced up toward the office. “Nobody looking, are they? You want to see me kiss this lady?”

  “Yesssssss!” all the girls chorused, and kids from other cabins gathered too.

  Joe Ortega put one arm around Gwen’s waist, the other under her shoulders, and dramatically swooped her backward, giving her a movie-star kiss. All the little campers clapped and screeched hysterically.

  And suddenly I looked up to see Legs coming down the hill from the parking lot.

  6

  * * *

  A Little Lesson in Growing Up

  It was like a movie. One minute we were watching Gwen and Joe in their movie-star embrace, accompanied by all the squealing kids, and the next we were watching long-legged Leo coming down the hill toward us, taking in the whole scene.

  “Uh… Gwen,” I said. “Company.”

  Joe brought her back to a standing position, then said to the little group from his own cabin, “And that’s the way you kiss a lady.” Then he saw Legs right in front of him, and I heard Gwen gasp.

  I guess the next scene in a movie would be Legs punching Joe in the mouth, but that didn’t happen. Legs looked at Joe a moment, then at Gwen, and said, “Well, hello.”

  “You drove all the way up here?” Gwen asked. We could see Jack Harrigan coming down the hill from the office.

  “I didn’t fly,” Legs said in answer. “Just wanted to see how you’re doing. Looks to me like you’re having a pretty good time.”

  “Legs, this is Joe, my friend here at camp. Joe, this is Leo, from school,” said Gwen.

  Jack came up to us then. “Hello?” he said to Legs, a question mark in his voice. He put out his hand and Legs shook it.

  “Leo Green,” Legs said. “I’m a friend of Gwen’s.”

  “We’re glad to have you drop in, but all visitors have to register first at the office,” Jack said cordially. “Our counselors are on twenty-four-hour duty here, so… I hope you understand. We generally limit visitors to Sundays.”

  In the movies Legs probably would have turned and pasted the assistant director in the mouth too, but that didn’t happen either.

  “Well, I work Sundays, and this is the only time I could get off. I just want to talk with Gwen for a few minutes,” Legs said.

  “Sure. You want to come up to the dining hall?” Jack waited. I’ll bet he could smell trouble at fifty paces.

  “I’ll be right back,” Gwen said to the rest of us, and, turning to Estelle and Latisha, she said, “Okay, girls. You did good! Now keep it up, hear?”

  The kids only gawked.

  Legs and Gwen went up toward the dining hall, Jack walking about ten feet behind them. Joe nodded in their direction and looked at me. “Is Leo bad news?” he asked.

  “I don’t know,” I said honestly. It was really Gwen’s story to tell, not mine.

  It was time for the canoe lesson, so we guided the campers down to the river.

  Connie was on the bank giving instructions through a bullhorn, starting with the safety talk about the right way to get in and out of a canoe while Tommie gave a demonstration. Then Ross took a canoe out into the water to show the kids the correct way to hold a paddle and a few of the basic strokes.

  “Everyone will have a chance to go out in a canoe,” Connie said. “Some of you will get to paddle, and some of you will just go along for the ride. But before camp is over, we want everyone who would like to learn to paddle to have a chance.”

  We lined the kids up in pairs, an older and a younger camper, and put life jackets on them. They reminded me of Chinese wontons, their heads the lumps in the middle, and they laughed and hooted at the sight of themselves.

  It was when we actually tried to get them in the canoes that the trouble started. Kim was terrified, and one of Elizabeth’s charges clung to her and wouldn’t let go. Mary, of course, insisted that Josephine go in the same canoe with her.

  Each fearful camper got the personal attention of a counselor, and I had to admire the way G. E. calmed Kim. He simply took her by both hands till she stopped trembling, and then, each taking a step sideways, G. E. counting all the while, “one banana, two banana…,” they moved together toward the water and he got her to sit in the middle of a canoe.

  We held the canoes steady while the kids got in. After each of the dozen or so canoes received its passengers, the counselor in the stern moved it out into the water. The rest of the campers waited their turn on the bank.

  As each counselor gave directions to the older camper in the bow of their canoe, the campers awkwardly brandished their paddles, while the younger passenger in the middle either dangled his or her arms over the sides, prepared to enjoy the adventure, or sat frozen, as though the very act of breathing might overturn them all. But after about ten minutes of slowly moving out over the water, even the fearful ones, Kim included, looked as though they could enjoy it.

  Once the kids got the hang of it, Connie called out instructions for the C stroke and the J stroke, so that they were turning this way and that, and Jack Harrigan came back from the dining hall to patrol the perimeter in his own canoe.

  From where I stood on the bank with the campers still waiting their turn, I saw Gwen coming down the hill. Elizabeth looked over too, searching her face, and then Gwen gave us the okay sign. Not only that, but she was smiling. From somewhere back by the parking lot, we could hear the sound of
a car pulling out and heading off down the mountain road. Gwen silently lifted a fist in the air and mouthed, Yes! When we saw Joe looking at her, we all laughed.

  I couldn’t say that the canoe lesson went especially well, but for kids who had never been on a river before, I think they did a pretty fair job. The canoes were going in circles, some more jerkily than others, but the counselors kept them far enough apart that they didn’t bump into each other, and every child who wanted to try—and even some who didn’t—had a chance to sit in front and paddle. In fact, I didn’t do so bad either. Andy let me sit in the bow of his canoe, and though I managed to drop my paddle in the water and we had to chase it down—the kids jeering—it felt good to learn something I’d never done before.

  “At the end of our third week, campers, we’re going to have a canoe race, and we’ll see which of our cabins wins,” Connie told them. And the air was filled with shouts of “We will!” “No, we’re gonna win!”

  At one point, when the kids took a lemonade break, Pamela, Elizabeth, and I crowded around Gwen.

  “What happened?” I asked.

  “Legs came all the way up here to tell me that our trip to Baltimore is off when I get back, because his grandma is sick, and he’s going to be spending all that time in Baltimore with her,” Gwen said, grinning. “I just happen to know that the girl I’ve heard he’s seeing on the side told her friends that she’s going to Baltimore that exact same week. Not only that, but Legs’s grandma lives in Frederick. I told him that if there was one thing I couldn’t stand it was a cheatin’ man and that he was crossed off my list as of yesterday. You should have seen the relief on his face!” She laughed some more.

  It was a good day at Camp Overlook.

  Except that when the canoes went out and came in a second time with another batch of kids, Mary didn’t wait for us to help her out. My back was turned momentarily as I helped Estelle make the jump to the bank. When I turned around, Mary and Josephine were starting to climb out of their canoe by themselves. Josephine stumbled climbing over the side, and because the girls were holding hands, both went into the water.

  Camp Overlook’s philosophy is to let campers experience the consequences of their actions unless it’s a question of safety, and neither girl, of course, went under. They bobbed about on the surface in their life jackets, and the surprise in Josephine’s tiny face soon gave way to delight when she discovered she could not sink if she tried. In fact, she could maneuver any way she wanted.

  It was Mary who went bananas, even though the water wasn’t over their heads.

  “Josie!” she screamed. “Josie, grab my hand! Paddle over here!”

  But the more she yelled, the more Josephine grinned and dog-paddled away. Gwen and I were both ready to jump in after them—Ross was already in the water—but we caught Jack Harrigan shaking his head. He motioned for Ross to just circle the girls and let them get the feel of moving about in the water and staying afloat.

  “Alice!” Mary screamed. “Gwen! You come get us!”

  “Your sister seems to be doing okay, Mary,” Jack called. “Can you see why we wanted you to get out of the canoe one at a time?”

  “She’s going to drown!” she kept bawling, horrified to see Josephine moving farther and farther away from her in the water, with no one going after her. It was painful to listen to the terror in her voice.

  Ross corralled Josephine at last and brought her in, and we got the girls back to our cabin and into dry clothes, Gwen set about combing Josephine’s matted hair and I motioned Mary to join me for a private walk. I wasn’t sure what I was going to say, but all the assistant counselors were told to squeeze in as many one-on-one walks as we could, and the kids adored it. It was a sign that the chosen boy or girl was special.

  I held Mary’s hand.

  “I guess that was pretty scary,” I said.

  “I almost drowned! So did Josephine, and you would’ve let her!” she declared.

  I gave her hand a playful tug. “Do you really believe that, Mary? You knew we were right there, and Josie showed us she was okay.”

  Mary just shook her head. “She could’ve drowned, though. She’s not ever going to grow up right.”

  “Why not?”

  “She’s too little,” Mary said. “She was born too soon. Mama said.”

  “Really?”

  Mary let go of my hand to demonstrate. “Mama says she was only this big!” She held her hands about eight inches apart, then grabbed hold of mine again.

  “Boy, that is little!” I said. “Look how much she’s grown!”

  “She’s still too little. When she came home from the hospital, we had to watch to see that she didn’t stop breathing. Well… I don’t remember that, but my uncle says so. Everything Josephine does, I have to watch she doesn’t hurt herself.”

  I looked down at the top of Mary’s head—only two years older than her sister’s—and wondered just what Mary would do with herself if she didn’t have Josephine to watch over. I was beginning to get a handle on the problem.

  “Well, you sure must have done a good job, Mary, because look at all Josie can do!” I said. “And guess what? When she’s a grown girl, she can tell her friends that her big sister showed her how to do everything herself.”

  Mary continued walking, her round face in a frown. I hoped I knew what I was talking about. “The more you let Josephine do for herself, the more you’re teaching her how to grow up.”

  “She makes a lot of mistakes!” said Mary, rolling her eyes.

  “So do I!” I said. “But that’s the way I learn. And I’ll bet you’ll be a very good teacher.”

  • • •

  Friday evening we gathered in Elizabeth and Tommie’s cabin to get ready for our big night out. Gwen, sitting on the edge of a bunk, was replaiting one of her cornrows. I noticed her black bra.

  “Black! Hmm!” I smiled.

  “Hey! You put on a white bra and I don’t make any comment,” she teased.

  “It’s not the same and you know it,” said Pamela. “Not if it’s lace, it’s not!”

  “She’s not going to keep it on long, anyway,” Tommie said, and we laughed.

  “It’s her underpants I’m worried about,” I said. I tugged at Gwen’s jeans. “Let’s see your undies, Gwen. Is there lace on those, too?” She playfully pushed me away.

  And then Elizabeth, her face slightly flushed, dropped something on Gwen’s lap. “Just in case,” she said.

  Gwen looked down at the box of Trojans resting on her thighs. “Get outta here girl!” she cried, as we all burst into laughter.

  “You just might need them,” Elizabeth said.

  “Get out!” Gwen repeated.

  Pamela grabbed the Trojans from Gwen and examined the package. “‘Ribbed’? ‘Prelubricated’? ‘For maximum pleasure’? Aha! What do you know about these kinds of things, Liz?”

  Elizabeth’s face was fiery red in spite of herself. “I… I just grabbed the first package I saw,” she said. Then, looking around at us, she said, “Why? Didn’t I get the right kind?”

  Tommie took the box next and examined it. Without cracking a smile, she said, “Are you sure they’re the right size?”

  Elizabeth’s face fell. “There are… sizes?”

  We all tried to keep a straight face.

  “Of course!” said Tommie. “Extra small, small, average, large, extra large, super stud…” She tossed the box back to Gwen.

  I thought my face was going to explode, I was trying so hard not to laugh.

  “But how do you know?” Elizabeth asked in bewilderment.

  “You have to measure, Elizabeth!” said Pamela. “You have to carry several different sizes with you and bring a ruler and—”

  Elizabeth suddenly caught on, and when we burst into laughter, she said, “Oh… you… guys!” and laughed a little too.

  “Listen,” said Doris, “I really want to know. Did you actually buy these yourself?”

  “She did!” I volunteered.
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  “Yes, but I couldn’t find them at first,” Elizabeth continued, “and then a clerk asked if he could help. I was so embarrassed!”

  “So what did you tell him?” Tommie asked. “That you wanted some ribbed condoms with a lubricated tip?”

  “No! I just said I wanted some men’s condoms.”

  “Men’s condoms?” Pamela shrieked, and we were off again.

  Elizabeth sat helplessly down on her bunk bed. “He sent me over to women’s sanitary products, and right beside them were all these little boxes with pictures of a man and woman doing romantic stuff.”

  “So why did you choose this kind?” Gwen asked.

  “I liked the sunset,” Elizabeth said, and we doubled over. She told the rest of the story then: the lines at the checkout counter, the price check…

  “Liz, it could only happen to you,” said Pamela.

  “Yeah, but why are you giving them to me?” Gwen said to Elizabeth. “You think the first time I go out with a guy I’m going to get naked?”

  “Don’t get mad,” said Elizabeth. “I just don’t want any of us to get into trouble.”

  “If you don’t want them, Gwen, I’ll take them,” Pamela offered, plucking the box from Gwen’s hand. “If Ross and I hook up…”

  “I didn’t buy them for you and Ross!” said Elizabeth hotly.

  “Don’t tell me we’re going to have a catfight right here,” said Tommie. She grabbed the condoms out of Pamela’s hand and turned to Doris.

  “You take them,” she said.

  “I’m in enough hot water as it is,” Doris said. “I’m lucky I didn’t get kicked out of camp. Nope. I don’t plan to worry about this stuff till I’m married.”

  “We could give them to Gerald,” said Tommie.

  “G. E.?” we all asked in surprise.

  “Yeah. He’s been following me around all afternoon telling me how he’s turned on by girls who get along with kids—how it means they’d make good wives and mothers.”

  I stared. “That’s what he told me this morning! The very same thing.”