Chapter Five
Alex was awakened by the sound of furniture being moved and he opened his eyes to see a screen being pulled round his bed. At his side was a doctor and a nursing sister. The doctor smiled at him,
“Hello my boy. It’s nice to see you looking so well. I thought you weren’t going to come around. You had us all scared to death.”
Alex looked at him. I must be broken up he thought to himself for doctors to worry about me.
“What’s wrong with me doctor? Tell me the worst.”
The doctor looked at him for a moment. “Well Sergeant, you broke both legs, an arm, two ribs and damaged your spine. You’re darned lucky to be alive, I can tell you. It says something for your fitness.”
Alex gasped, the broken bones would heal in time; he knew that, but what about his spine?
“Doctor, what is wrong with my spine? Will I be crippled?” he whispered.
The doctor paused again. “I don’t know,” he said, “some cases remain paralysed others have a hundred per cent recovery. It will take time, good nursing and determination from you. We have the time and can give you the nursing but have you the determination?”
Alex shook his head in bewilderment. Why had it happened to him? He looked up at the doctor, smiled grimly and said, “I have plenty of that, you’ll see.”
“Well done my boy. That’s what I wanted to hear. It’s all in the state of mind. Now let’s have a look at these broken bones.” He moved the patient slightly and Alex groaned. His ribs reminded him in no uncertain way that they were broken. The doctor examined him thoroughly and expressed satisfaction at his condition. After he left Alex lay there unable to comprehend the full meaning of the doctor’s diagnosis. He was confused, dispirited and very unhappy. And then, suddenly into the ward breezed the young nurse who had helped him the evening before. She made a bee-line for Alex and stood there looking down at him, her smile radiating warmth.
“Hello Sergeant. How are we today? Oh dear. What about a smile then?”
He looked up at her and for a moment his face remained impassive, then he grinned. “All the better for seeing you nurse,” he said, “have you come to cheer me up?”
“Cheer you up my lad. You shouldn’t need it. You’re still alive. What are a few broken bones? Why, in six months you’ll be playing football, you’ll see,” she retorted gaily.
“I’m not worried about my legs,” he said, “but I don’t want to be paralysed all my life.”
“Paralysed, you! Don’t make me laugh.”
“The doctor said that I may be paralysed and I may not,” Alex said.
The nurse laughed. “Oh yes, Dr Little is a pessimist and I’m an optimist. What are you? Whose side are you on?”
Alex laughed with her. “Yours,” he said.
“Good,” replied the nurse, we’ll start now. My name is Nurse Jane and I have to take special care of you. What’s your name?” (As if she didn’t know).
“I’m Alex and I was a commando but they won’t want me now,” he said with a hint of bitterness.
“There you go,” she said, “that’s no way to talk. You’ve got to say when you go back to them – positive thinking!” and she tucked in the sheet, pulling a face at him as she moved away down the ward.
Alex watched her go. She seemed to float along and he could hear her cheering laugh as she greeted others in the ward. He lay back on his bed. His mind was confused and he just didn’t know what to think. If he was paralysed then he must break off with Ruth. One couldn’t expect a lovely young girl to wait for a cripple. When he was able, he would write to her or perhaps he wouldn’t write at all, he could just let things go. Ruth would be upset but she would get over it in time. Mulling these things over in his mind he gradually dropped off into a deep sleep.
After what seemed a few minutes but was really several hours, he came to his senses and opened his eyes. There sitting beside him with her usual cheery smile was Nurse Jane. “Come on lazybones,” she chuckled, “I’m waiting to wash you.” He noticed that the screen had been drawn round his bed and suddenly realized that this young nurse was going to wash him – give him a bath in fact. He sank into the bed, pulling up the clothes with his free hand.
“It’s alright nurse, I’m not dirty,” he said, “just wash my face.”
Nurse Jane laughed and said, “Sorry but I have my instructions and they are that I have to give you a bath and examine the bandages and plaster.”
Alex blushed scarlet as the nurse pulled back the bedclothes and ever so gently began to bathe his body. He lay still, acutely embarrassed as she examined him thoroughly. But he also noticed that her face had turned pink, probably because of her exertions he thought, or was it that she too was shy?
The examinations and the ablutions done, they looked at each other in silence, broken only when Jane lightly remarked, “I can see that no nurse has ever bathed you before.”
“No, never,” replied Alex, “no girl has ever seen my body. You are the first.” He hid his red face. Jane looked at him again, smoothed down his pillow and as she did so her face came close to his – so close he could smell the clean fragrance of her perfume and he closed his eyes. At that moment she leaned forward and kissed him lightly on the cheek and before he could open his eyes, she had disappeared. Alex lay there, his cheek still damp where she had kissed him. He smiled drowsily to himself and fell asleep, dreaming of battles and nurses and kisses. He awoke feeling hungry and the duty nurse was delighted when he asked for food. She called the doctor who immediately came to see him.
“How are you Sergeant? Do you feel any better today?”
“Yes thank you doctor, I feel really hungry.”
“That’s a good sign, my boy. You’re on the mend,” said the doctor, taking hold of his wrist and checking his pulse.
“How long will I be in here doctor? Alex queried.
“It will take your bones six weeks to heal then we hope to make you walk.”
“But what’s wrong with me – why can’t I walk?” demanded Alex. “Tell me everything.”
“We just don’t know yet. We can find nothing to cause paralysis but it is there. There is probably a nerve trapped and one day it will be freed and you will walk normally,” said the doctor, “in the meantime you must not lose your determination to walk again. That may help you but bitterness will only retard your progress. You are in good hands here and Nurse Jane will take care of you till you leave us.”
As he spoke, Nurse Jane came up to the bed. “Hello doctor. How’s our patient today?” she asked, smiling at Alex.
“He’s a very fit young man Nurse. We must make sure that his mind is as healthy as his body and I leave that side of it to you. Keep him cheerful and in a few months he’ll be chasing you around the ward.” The doctor departed.
Jane looked at Alex, her lips smiling but her eyes were thoughtful. She moved around the bed slowly, tucking in a sheet here and there and straightening his pillow beside his head. Neither spoke, each preoccupied with their own thoughts. Alex broke the silence first. “Good morning nurse. It’s nice to see you again after that old battle-axe,” and he grinned up at her.
“Shush! You mustn’t say that about Nurse Jamieson, she’s a very efficient nurse.” replied Jane, hiding her face as she spoke. She didn’t want him to see the pleasure in her eyes at his words.
“I know that, but she never smiles. When you come in it’s like a breath of fresh air and everyone feels better,” retorted Alex. Nurse Jane thanked him and pulled a face at him making him smile back at her.
“No bath today nurse?” he asked, looking straight at her.
“No, not today,” she replied, turning her face away but not before he had seen the blush creep over her face. Well! Well! He thought, she is not as hard as nurses are supposed to be.
The days passed slowly, especially when Jane was not on duty but his bones began to knit together. The doctor was pleased at his recovery and Alex was pleased when he could shed bandages and pl
aster. He was still confined to a wheelchair but he could propel himself around the ward which he did: he talked to all the patients, cheering up the newcomers into the ward – some with multiple injuries and these cases made him forget his own troubles for a while. Daily he prayed that feeling would come back to his legs and he struggled to raise himself till the perspiration poured down his cheeks. He punished himself by perpetually striving to make his muscles work and often the nurse on duty would chastise him for overdoing his exercises. Alex just continued.
The doctors examined him regularly but could find no reason for his condition and encouraged Alex to keep trying with his exercise routine. He suggested that Nurse Jane should wheel him outside every day. At first it was round the hospital gardens, here he could sit and look at the mountains rearing their heads into the deep, blue, northern sky. Their magnificence overawed him and somehow eased his tortured mind. Usually Jane left him there and re-joined him later. But sometimes she sat down beside him and chatted gaily to him.
One day she looked up at him and said, “Alex, what has happened to Ruth, your friend?” Alex looked startled.
“Ruth? How did you know about Ruth?” he asked.
Jane glanced at him for a moment, her eyes searching his face. “You talked a lot about her when you were unconscious,” she replied, “she hasn’t been to see you – why not?” she pressed him.
Alex looked away, avoiding her gaze. “Why not?” he said, “I’m a cripple and I don’t want anyone marrying me out of pity. I haven’t told her. She’ll forget me eventually and she can find someone who is fit and well and who won’t be a burden to her.”
Jane looked at him gravely for a few seconds and then said, “If she loves you then she will take care of you whether or not you’re crippled. I think you should write to tell her where you are.”
“I’m not, and it’s none of your business.” Alex replied, sharply.
There was a long silence. Jane had never heard him speak like this before and realised how bitter he felt about the accident. However, she was determined to have the last word. “You’re right, it’s none of my business but I still think that it is very mean of you. No doubt that poor girl is eating her heart out, longing for news of you. Come on, I’m taking you inside.”
She pushed the wheelchair along the path to the door and it was here that he spoke again. “Sorry Jane. I was rude to you. Forgive me – it’s this awful accident. I’ll think about what you said.”
Alex enjoyed these outdoor trips and felt close to Jane as they sat and talked to each other. “Why haven’t you got a boyfriend Jane? You’re lovely, attractive and sensible. I just can’t understand it. You should have hundreds chasing you.”
“I did have a friend once – but he never came back from Dunkirk.” she told him.
“Oh, I’m sorry Jane,” said Alex quickly and put his hand on hers in sympathy. He didn’t take it away and she didn’t move hers. After a while she rose, pulled up the blanket over his knees and moved to take the chair handles. He took her arms, pulled her face down gently and kissed her on the lips. She let him kiss her and then stood up. He looked up at her, grinned and said, “Now we’re quits, remember?”
Jane blushed. She had thought that he had been asleep when she had kissed him that night in the ward but obviously he had not. Somehow she had enjoyed that kiss just now. It was a long time since she had been kissed and it made her blood flow madly.
The outdoor ventures were extended further and soon Alex knew all the surrounding areas. He protested when Jane pushed him up a mountain track, saying that it was too difficult for her slight figure, but she laughed and continued. They stopped at a small cave in the hillside and here they ate their sandwiches, laughing and joking as they did so. Alex looked at Jane after one of these bouts and took her hand into his.
“You’re good for me Jane. I don’t know what I would do without you,” he said.
Jane laughed. “Any nurse would do as well. You’re such a good patient.” Alex pulled her close, and taking her in his arms, kissed her passionately. She lay submissively and then pushed herself away.
“No Alex, we mustn’t. There’s Ruth to think of.” she whispered, her voice trembling.
“I’ve told you Jane; Ruth will have finished with me now. She probably thinks I’m dead. But I shouldn’t kiss you either, I’m just a cripple and I’ll always be a cripple. Come on, let’s go home.”