Chapter 13
The next day she organized the first meditation session in the second, smaller rec room with about twenty prisoners. There was already some negative chatter in the prison, with many of the prisoners jeering as she walked by, and even Colin and Blake heckled her new endeavor.
“I can help ‘em meditate,” screamed Blake, as she walked by, “just lemme use my meditation stick!” He brandished his baton comically, as Colin pretended to go limp. “I’ll make ‘em go so quiet they’ll never wake up!”
Matthew met her at the rec room, clasping her hands and grinning eagerly.
“I have touched with all those I have a strong feeling about,” he said excitedly, as Luke walked in. Luke had become a recluse, as he was terribly confused about who he was. One moment of the day he pranced around, affecting a feminine walk, while at other times he stormed back and forth, throwing his bulk wherever he felt. “Luke, John, and Mark are those I have the strongest feelings about.” Elaine smiled as John walked in, and he gave her a little wave. “James I’m not so sure about, as well as Richard. You seem to have formed a connection with Ronald?”
“Yes,” she said, as James walked in. “Why do you feel James belongs here? He’s been nothing but trouble in all my groups.”
“What better way to disguise someone of importance?” asked Matthew slyly. “Anyway, I take it you have come up with some method to this madness?”
“I’ve done my research on meditation, and journeys of the self. I’ve struck a compromise, one that won’t arouse too much suspicion.”
Matthew nodded. “Maybe we will finally get some answers.”
“Alright, everyone,” said Elaine, calling everyone to attention. They gathered around her, and for the most part attentively listened to her words. “Today I will try to teach you a method to attain balance within yourselves. Believe me, I am well aware of the position you are in—one that I do not share. I know you are confined here for the rest of your lives, and that at times you feel little hope or reason for living. I feel there is always a reason to live, that even though confined, your life can be of worth. The first step to discovering that worth is to attune your ‘self’ to find the potential for greatness in situations around you.”
“I also know that it has taken a lot for each of you to join me here, that some of you worry that you will look foolish to the others. That is why I have developed a program that doesn’t require special physical moves or postures. All you need to do is sit down, relax, and focus. Now, please sit in the chairs around you. They are purposefully arranged at random—don’t change their position. It is meant to echo the randomness of your lives; a guard that does a surprise inspection, a fellow inmate who becomes lunatic for a moment, the loss of a signal on the AV units in your cells, leaving you without distraction for hours on end.” They all eventually found a seat, with Matthew and Ronald sitting closest to her, and Luke, John, Mark and James somewhere close to Matthew.
“Now, place your hands in your lap. The goal is not to have them in a special position – it is to merely allow your body to relax as much as possible. Now I will count down from ten to zero, and you will do that, when you’re alone, silently in your mind. With each passing number, relax another facet of yourself. Begin with your arms, then your legs, then your chest and hands. At five, your physical body should be at rest. For the last numbers, clear your mind of worries, anxieties, fears and doubts. I know this will be difficult, but I will count down slowly. The more you do this, the quicker you will be able to count down, and isolate your ‘self.’”
Elaine began to count down, after she also took a chair, and closed her eyes, thankful that Philip was standing guard over them. She had tried it several times in her room alone, and each time she felt more refreshed.
“Now,” she said, after she had reached zero, “I want you to become aware of the temperature around you. Your hands have a different temperature than your knees, or your chest. Most important, is the temperature above your head. Can you feel it?”
Some responded in the affirmative, others negative.
“You all will, with practice. For those that do, if it is quite warm, it means there is still too much thought going on. You need to progress downwards, into your ‘self,’ to cool this space above your head.” She opened her eyes, and stood next to Luke. “Can you feel it, Luke?”
“Yes,” he said softly. “It's warm.”
“Imagine it as a color, as being red. What you want is a cool, light blue, like the color of cold water out of the sink. Don’t think of anything else but that color, but that temperature. Bring your mind down, bring your thoughts out of focus. Can you feel it losing heat?”
“I . . . yes . . . I can.”
“Good. When it reaches blue, open your eyes.”
Luke slowly opened his eyes. He was facing John at the time, and as he focused on his face, a wide smile spread across his face.
“I . . . I know you! By Holis, it has been so long,” he cried, with tears running down his face. John immediately opened his eyes.
“Who am I?”
“No!” suddenly shouted Elaine. “Not now, not here. Remember this moment, Luke. Keep that kernel of information to yourself. Matthew, how are you doing?”
“I feel a coolness above my head.”
“Good.” She turned his body to look at Luke. “Now, open your eyes.”
Matthew slowly opened his, and let out a long sigh.
“You . . . you know who I am?”
Matthew chuckled. “Yes, finally I do.” He glanced up at Elaine. “Thank you.”
Elaine glanced over at Ronald, who sat, dejected.
“It’s alright, Ronald. Give it time,” she said, putting a hand on his back.
By the end of the next day, she knew the identities of a few of the prisoners.
Matthew, when he saw Luke, saw a man he knew before as Lucas Druche, General of the Imperial Army. When Luke saw John, he saw a man he recognized as Eljohhana Wix, a great hero of the Imperial Army, one whom had won countless battles by the mere strength of his arms and legs.
They didn’t know much else, as there was no way to access records of the civil war, or much of anything from inside the prison. And Elaine couldn’t ask anyone about them—she knew it would raise too much suspicion. But there was a palpable excitement among them, as for the first time in many years they felt the first glimmer of hope.
She purposefully kept her group low-key the next day, as not to arouse any suspicion. More than ever, she felt the cameras on her, prying into everything she said, watching her every move.
Ronald managed to pass her a small note as they left. It read:
Do not forsake me, my darling. Oh, I can’t live without your touch! I know it’s dangerous, more so for you, but I miss you. I need you.
She crumpled it up as soon as she read it, and swallowed it, bit by bit, over the next hour.
Over the next four meditation sessions, twenty prisoners had discovered who they were. Their identities seemed to fill out the hierarchy of the deposed ruling family that once governed the Imperium, a vast empire that dominated Iqui for over five hundred years. Elaine soon realized that the prison she was in was more of a political prison, one probably meant to dispose of the vanquished silently and anonymously. The biggest problem was that while their identities were being revealed, details of their imprisonment, or even of the civil war itself, remained elusive. They could remember the emotional bonds that existed between them, but Elaine remained frustrated that she didn't even know if the Imperium was good or bad, if it still existed, or even if they were on the morally wrong side of the war.
It was difficult for those with newly discovered identities to keep it secret, especially once Matthew’s was revealed. Though he possessed the most disciplined mind, not even he could remember his identity alone. He was the former Vice-President of the Imperium, named Matthias Ruliche. Immediately he became the de-facto leader of their group, making Elaine virtua
lly irrelevant. Though she conducted the sessions, and organized their covert meetings, Matthew gave the orders, and set the agenda and timetable. It was he they now looked to, he whom they strove to protect.
Elaine was discouraged that her identity had not been revealed. No matter how deep anyone immersed themselves in the meditation, when they looked at her, she was still just Elaine. She mentioned this in passing to Matthew, who responded cryptically.
“Perhaps there is a key to your identity. You need to keep searching to find it.”
The entire process was unbelievably draining to her. While it was exciting to see men she knew suddenly come alive, and have a new purpose, with each new identity revealed there was a new concern. Already Luke had injured eight men who were more than persistent in trying to sleep with him. She felt the guards also knew something was afoot, as they scrutinized her more each time she passed them by.
The one bright spot was Ronald. Because the meditation group was after the normal hours of operation for the counselors and guards, there was less security as they headed back to their cells. And with Philip usually being the guard on duty, she had managed to slip Ronald in her office for an hour, while Philip waited nearby. She knew it was another big risk, knew she shouldn’t satisfy herself in that way, but part of her also felt Ronald was getting desperate, and needed to be placated.
After the first few minutes in his arms, awkwardly positioned in her chair, she forgot what regret was, and surrendered to the excitement and enjoyment. They played for most of the hour, leaving them only a few brief minutes to speak to one another.
“Things are too quiet,” he said, as he ran his hands through her hair. “Ian and Darren haven’t been made a sound.”
“Why do you think that is?”
“Only two possible reasons; either they’ve given up, or they’re ready, and just waiting for the right moment.” His words sent a shudder down her spine. “The auditors are arriving in three days. Could they be waiting for that?”
“Personally? I think not,” said Elaine. “The prison is running even more rigidly, and there will be no slack from any of the guards. In fact, this probably should be the last time you stop by, until after the auditors leave. I think the day after they leave would be a prime time to strike. All the guards will be celebrating how great things were, and even Todd will probably gorge himself on something in celebration.”
Ronald's eyes lit up, for a moment betraying a fire within. “Then maybe things should go bad. Then the auditors will give Todd a timetable for improvement, and he’ll be even harder on the guards!”
She held him close. “Thank you, Ronald.”
“Anything for you, Lainey. I’m just glad I was able to spend this time with you. I’ve felt so alone lately. Even though I’m in your groups, with all those people finding out who they really are, I don’t know. I just seem irrelevant now.”
“You’re not to me,” she whispered. “I feel more like you. I also have no alter-ego, or whatever. When I look in the mirror, I know there is something else, something more, but I'm unable to see, and no one else sees it either. Matthew thinks there may be a trigger—perhaps someone we haven’t yet found will recognize me. Or maybe a certain situation will cull the memories out. Perhaps the same will happen to you.”
He shrugged. “Who knows? I got to be with you, so anything’s possible.”
As she watched him leave, he seemed to walk with a regal bearing, as if he was used to carrying heavy responsibility on his shoulders. She knew he must also be part of this vanquished foe.
What if he is even more important than Matthew? she thought to herself. Matthew now is in command, and if ever they were to be released, he would control not only them, but any remnants of the followers of the old Imperium. He has an immensely strong mind—who knows what he is capable of. The fire she saw in his eyes kindled some doubt deep within, and as she quashed it in her mind, something else, some voice deep down within, cackled in riotous laughter.
Part IV: Manipulation
Chapter 14