Monday, 29th February 1988
That was the last straw! I've been too long in this company! I am always obliged to assume responsibility for things I can't possibly know. The boss is constantly grumbling, he says that everything is on his hands, that “there is no organization in here” and that “other bosses never set foot in the office because their super secretaries do all the work by themselves!”
I abhor phone calls. I always have to give half answers and irritate the customers, since certain things are not supposed to be told. When Lucas is absent -and he is absent almost every day- I have to sub for him even if it isn't possible for me to know as much as he does.
This morning I made seven phone calls trying to find Mr Bouras in Argos and give him half an answer to a stupid question of his, just because I was afraid that Lucas would yell at me if I didn't. It' a bedlam in here!
At about 11:00 o'clock two strangers arrived at the office. The said they were from the National Bank of Greece and they asked to see some documents for the import of a bottling machine of Tsakiris. Without thinking twice, I showed them all the relevant books. Mrs Stasa was present, she probably suspected that something was wrong but she didn't say a word and didn't do anything to stop me. Both of us were feeling uncomfortable with all this but we didn't dare say “no” to those men, because we were afraid that Lucas would get angry if we didn't co-operate with them.
In the end, when Lucas arrived, it was proved that showing the books to those people was the worst thing to do, because in this way the overvaluation of the bottling machine was found out. Naturally, I was to blame for everything. The boss fumed and fretted at me, screaming that I had just destroyed his company. I was terribly sad and got a terrible headache which will last till midnight.
I hate being a secretary: What a slavish, preposterous, indefinable yet irrationally demanding job! A secretary can never be sure where her responsibilities begin and where they end. Literally, the boss can demand anything from her! I suspect that most companies are actually run by (female) secretaries; of course, (male) managers get all the money and the glory.
It's high time I started looking for another job. If I stay in Vinomec any longer, I will eventually get a nervous breakdown. Besides, all I can hope for in here is a basic salary, zero prospects and frightful tangles...
Tuesday, 1st March 1988
The accountant informed us that there is no need to worry: Lucas will get away with this by paying only a small fine. However, the customer is likely to get into big trouble. Let's just hope this story won't go far.
In the meantime Mr Raptis, the technician, didn't phone us to let us know that he arrived in Athens at 11:30, as expected, and we were worried about him. If he had had a car accident, for example, I would have been the one to blame -as Zafirakis told me with a serious face. I am looking forward to getting out of here.
Late in the afternoon I visited Persa, we listened to music and I asked her to record some foreign pop songs for me. I especially wanted the song “Alien” but, as I found out at home later, all the other songs were successfully recorded except that one! How is this possible? I am the world champion of bad luck! If these simple plans of mine fail so ridiculously, what can I expect for the more important ones?
Wednesday, 2nd March 1988
It's a bedlam in here and I don't intend to go mad. The telephones are ringing like crazy, only the boss can answer certain questions but he is absent and the rest of us can do nothing but look at each other in embarrassment. There is so much work to do but there is no guidance. I feel like suffocating. The atmosphere in the office is getting more and more hostile against me. I can't bear it any longer.
Lucas is leaving for Italy in ten days and I'm worried already. I'm sick and tired of being responsible for a hundred things at the same time! I know: As soon as he is back, I will get a blasting because, according to him, “nothing was done right” and “some managers never set foot in the office because their super secretaries are capable of running the whole company by themselves!”
I strongly suspect that from now on I will always have to change jobs. Just one or two years in each company, then the atmosphere will become unbearable for me and I will take French leave. I will never be one of those who can brag: “I have worked thirty years in that company”. I foresee that my life will be extremely difficult. Anyway, I have never been popular, successful, “clever”, lucky -like most people are...
Saturday, 5th March 1988
This evening cousin Damian and his wife Anthia paid us a visit. They were both upset and kept complaining a lot about problems created by George, Anthia's brother: Not only has he disappeared from the garage owned by him and Damian, but he's also asked for five million drachmas because he intends to open a taverna. George has already rented the place and bought all the equipment but he can't open the shop because there is a delay with the license. It seems that some shrewd people are ripping him off his money but he is too naive to understand. My cousin is very disappointed.
On the other hand, George has never been a balanced person: Eight years ago, when he was 24 years old, he fell in love with Clair, a nine-year-old girl, who is his wife now. Anthia is mad about her sister-in-law, considering her to be the root of all evil. According to Anthia, it is Clair who seduces George into inanities because she likes to act the superstar: she wants her husband to open that shop, so that she can play the guitar and sing for the customers. Anthia also claims that the young woman often goes out with different men but George always forgives her and takes her back home.
All this sounds very interesting, but I entertain some doubts: I know the girl, she is seventeen years old now, and she seems to be a quiet person -not a whore, as Anthia says. All at once, I remember Clair visiting us together with her husband a few years ago, when they were newly-weds: “I knew what was going to happen to me at the first night of marriage, because when I was nine years old someone raped me!” she had confided in my sister and me.
I was astonished when I heard the above but I didn't piece together all the information then: According to the known story, George first met his wife by chance, while he was in the army in Epirus. Although Clair was only nine years old at the time, George was infatuated with her and he waited patiently for her to turn fourteen, so that he could marry her. Well, I suspect that Mr George was the rapist and that, in all probability, those two got married after a special agreement between the groom and the girl's parents: “You will marry our daughter and redeem her honour, and we shall keep our mouths shut...”
Monday, 7th March 1988
Tonight I dreamed of black snow. The phone call I got from Mary Bonanos early this morning, explained that ill-omened dream: Varnalis is not interested in my book, there is nothing else to do. Mary suggested I should go to other publishers and this is what I intend to do. Of course, deep inside I know there will be no result. Without any strings to pull, it will be like going on a wild goose chase. Yet, I ought to try...
In the evening Persephone came and asked me to paint a rather complicated picture of a living room, which she will present as her own work at the lesson of Art. I can't stand her endless demands anymore. Once she used to come for company as well, but now she only takes advantage of me. As about her mother, she keeps stringing us along saying that she will use some backstairs influence so as to get me a permanent job in the Tax Office. Moreover, every day she brings worn out dresses or skirts, all of them more than twenty years old, which my mother has to repair with her sewing machine.
Even aunt Barbara, one of my father's six sisters, who happened to be at our home tonight, realized that Persa (1.50 m high, 130 kilos) not only is too demanding but acts the vamp as well! Indeed, the meatball hardly paid any attention to me when I entered the living room; in fact, she scorned me as if I owed her a favour for her allowing me to help her with her homework! I won't tolerate this attitude any longer. I intend to get rid of her, as soon as possible...
Thursday, 10th March 1988
Miracles do hap
pen! I said a magnificent “no” -and I really enjoyed it- to Persa, who wanted me to paint those eggs and chickens again -for a third time! As she explained, she planned to send the picture to the European art contest not only in a black and white but in colour as well! The girl is raving mad! I hope she gets a zero in Art!
Later in the evening, as I was returning from the gym, just before reaching my neighbourhood, I saw a group of familiar boys gathered in Tempi street; I meet them almost every time I go to the gym, as if they were waiting for me there, and they always mock me one way or another. This time they sorted out a whole dialogue:
“Tassos, do you want her? I think you two are a good match!”
“She wears glasses, so do you!”
“She has a wart on her cheek, so do you!”
“She is a beanpole, so are you!”
“She has a scar on her nose and so do you!”
“Run after her, Tassos!”
Who is Tassos?
That's a mystery.
How did they notice so many details about me, in the dusk?
That's another mystery.
Wednesday, 30th March 1988
I got very angry today: I had the impression that dad would buy a video player for me, as he had promised, but the truth is he has no such intention. Uncle Alex is involved in this too: The two of them have searched high and low for the smallest prices in the market but they've messed up everything and they don't know what's what. The bitter truth is that my parents are old now and they are not to be trusted about anything.
At dinner time dad started whining -as usual: he didn't like it at all when I announced that I will buy that video player by myself, with my own money. According to him, if I give 80.000 drachmas from the sum I have in the bank, we will go bankrupt. I can't bear my parents' endless misery any longer. I must leave home. I can't stay here and get old together with two wretched old people.
... The very next day, when I finish work, I will go to a nearby store and buy a fine video player with four heads, at a prize of 130.000 drachmas. Later, as soon as I reach home, I will rent and watch my first video film.
Saturday, 2nd April 1988
Early this morning mum and I went to Alice's home, so as to help her move house. She and Antony have just found an apartment which is newer, bigger and nicer than the old outhouse they have now. This time we had to work even harder than any other time, doing extra household chores for her Majesty: We had to fill up big boxes with stuff and carry them from one house to the other. Thank God the new house is only a ten-minute walk from the old one.
In the afternoon, as I was going for a walk, I happened to see Cleo -an old schoolmate from elementary school. For heaven's sake, she is getting uglier and uglier every day! Her face is manly and so are her arms, shoulders and legs: full of muscles, and this is not due to working out. Her body is more masculine than any man's! Of course, it is a common secret that she is a hermaphrodite, a girl with male genitals hidden inside; Cleo's mother herself has confessed that to my mother.
Nevertheless, that thing has been married, ever since she was sixteen, to a handsome, curly-haired, blue eyed guy! How is it possible that the lady-killer didn't notice any of Cleo's “deficiencies” and even agreed to marry her in record time? When it comes to me, for example, men notice every single detail about me and they disapprove of everything at once: My excessive height (1.75 m), my low weight (55 kilos), the hairs on my arms, the glasses I wear, the lack of mincing...
Sunday, 3rd April 1988
We had unexpected visitors today: It was uncle Harry, my father's cousin, with his wife and their two children. Nassia, their teenage daughter, told me about her recent trip to Nafplio. Then she told me about her school, which is full of drug addicts, sissies and lesbians. In order to avoid the drugs handed out in the refreshment room, a friend of hers brings an orange or an apple to eat at school every day. However, a few days ago, while she was out of the class during the break, a smart aleck opened her bag and injected a drug into her orange! Anyway, I really wonder how Nassia (and all the other pupils) manages to survive without any problems in such an environment...
In the afternoon I called on Alice so as to help her carry some things to her new house. As soon as she saw me she snorted, obviously annoyed. I also met Emmanuel and Mara there. The two of them are having a mad love affair this year: He is a middle-aged womanizer, married with three children, and he happens to be Antony's best friend. She is a stupid chick and my sister's best friend ever since they were schoolmates in gymnasium.
At a moment, Mara asked me to stay out and guard the television set; then she turned to little Yanni and said: “You saw? I kicked her out!”. When they finally took the television away and I was allowed to enter the house again, the boy expressed his worry about me. Probably, he was the only one who was happy to see me.
Such situations get on my nerves. That superstar of my sister is constantly telling tales about me to her numerous friends, that's why they all look down on me. I must change environment if I want to see better days...
Tuesday, 5th April 1988
Early this morning Mr Zafirakis phoned and told me that he wouldn't come to the office before noon. He also said that in the afternoon he intended to go to Chalkis, together with Paul, so as to fix some wining machines.
Paul acted the fool. To give the devil his due, it is understandable that he prefers to lie low since he knows that after eight hours in the office there will be a lot more work for him to do in some factory in Chalkis, all night long. So, he spent his time making successive phone calls to hundreds of people, from 8:00 to 14:30, and then he got away. Just as well; I couldn't stand him any longer, he is a cipher. I would like to hurl an ashtray at his head.
As soon as Lucas arrived and didn't find our mechanical engineer in the office, he flew into a rage and began to swear loudly. “Since Paul is incapable of taking any initiative, maybe you should start telling him exactly what to do every day,” I advised him.
Wednesday, 13th April 1988
At about noon my cousin Chryssa called and we talked about my storm-tossed book. In her opinion, Mary Bonanos probably sabotaged it: “I suspect that idiot never gave it to Varnalis!”, she said. I think so too. Finally, Chryssa suggested I should come in contact with other publishing houses, while she will give my novel to an agent she knows, a certain Mr Kotsonis, who can present it to some other publishers. I think the case is getting too complicated, but I still hope.
In the meanwhile, Persephone has disappeared for more than a month; that is ever since I refused to paint those eggs and chickens for a third time. Indeed, I don't know what's going on. I don't live in a desert. There are lots of people around me: parents, sister, numerous friends of my sister, relatives, neighbours, acquaintances at the gym, colleagues at work. However, nobody cares about me, nobody wants to be my friend, nobody proposes me a match. To all those people, I don't even exist. They only know how to give me advice like “You should develop your social life a little”. I, on the other side, keep on running high and low, desperately trying to find friends; yet, whatever I do, I am always an intruder in their midst. They all look on me either as a nuisance or as a poor thing...
Thursday, 14th April 1988
Another exasperating day at work: I received Tronchi's offer for Valasis Winery, however there is no authorization, and the letter of guarantee is written in French! Moreover, the name of our company isn't mentioned anywhere! For God's sake! As if that moron of Tronchi had never exported to Greece before!
I spent the whole morning running an office marathon: I typed the four-page offer to Valasis, I sent uncountable faxes and telexes to the Italian manufacturer instructing him how to correct the above mistakes, I coordinated various Italian companies with customs brokers and bank employees. Absolute madness! Needless to say, it is impossible to finish today and this means that tomorrow, when Lucas returns from Santorini, he will be furious at me. I'm fed up with all this lunacy!
Friday, 15th Ap
ril 1988
One more marathon day at work, striving to carry out an enormous number of tasks. Moreover, the bank put me through the mill before preparing the letter of guarantee from Tronchi. Finally, I received the document just at the last moment, while the bank employee was grumbling vexed. I hate banks and public services. All those who work there are nothing but useless idlers.
In the afternoon, my parents and I were invited by Bill and Judith, who have rented our first floor. They are getting married on Sunday. A little later, the nuptial bed was made. I was surprised to see that there was only a white sheet and two pillows on the bed. Their baby, the eight-month-old Constantine, was very sweet and slept most of the time. Is Bill rather jumpy, or what?
Some relatives of Judith were present as well; they all arrived this morning from New Zealand and they will stay in Greece for a week. I communicated with them in English, especially with Judith's mother and two other ladies. Sometimes I had a little difficulty in understanding them because they are used to speaking between their teeth, but all of them were pleasant, polite and friendly. Paradoxically, I felt quite comfortable among them: I wasn't shy and reserved as usual, neither did I wonder once what I should say to look interesting and cute.
They all seem to be calm and happy with their lives in New Zealand: It's a prosperous country, most people live on nice farms in a natural environment and they have their own swimming pools too. The jobless get an unemployment allowance for years if needed (not just for nine months, as in Greece), until they find a new position.
In the end, they invited me to spend my summer vacations on their farm. I was astonished at their kindness, I liked the idea but I don't think I will go. I hardly know them...
Saturday, 16th April 1988
Despite my nasty cold which is getting worse and worse, this morning my mother and I left home and called on Alice. We hardly stayed there for half an hour, because Alice had a long face and kept calling me “faulty” again and again. Then mum commented that I had forgotten to remove some hairs from my chin and my dear sister got angry: “Really, can't you see anything else that's ugly about her?”
We finally went off hastily because Alice was looking forward to visiting one of her friends. As we were walking down the street, it started raining cats and dogs and we were chilled to the bone. I don't intend to visit Alice ever again. She always finds something better to do than keep me company. She only wants us to serve her and then hit the road. I won't tolerate this attitude anymore. Enough is enough.
In the evening Persephone arrived unexpectedly and asked me to paint some crazy eggs again. I finished the work of art within a quarter of an hour. Then, we had a pleasant discussion till late at night. Among others, we talked about certain mini singers, 15 or 16-year-old girls who have been mushrooming in show business lately but they are bound to disappear next year...
Sunday, 17th April 1988
In the evening my father and I went to Judith and Bill's wedding. The bride arrived at the church of St Tryfon in a carriage but she didn't get off at once; she had to wait for a while, until the groom showed up at 7:00 o'clock sharp, which was the set time of the wedding.
I held the baby in my lap for a few minutes but he wouldn't stop crying. Mrs Voula, who has rented our apartment on the second floor, took him in her hands and managed to calm him down. “She knows how to do it,” said the bride's mother smiling.
When the ceremony was over, we returned home on foot. Mrs Voula, her husband and their teenage son went to the wedding reception, just like all the other guests. Only my family was not invited. Why, indeed? I thought we were in good terms with Judith and Bill...
Friday, 22nd April 1988
Calvary at work: Once again, the buses were on strike. I managed to arrive at the office half an hour late, that is at 8:30. Luckily, Lucas had not come yet. Mr Rossini of Tafel phoned and suggested his sending a technician to Christides Winery in the beginning of May. I notified the customer, but he insisted the technician should come on the 9th or 10th of May. I phoned Mr Rossini and informed him about it. After a while Mr Christides called again, I assured him that I had just arranged everything according to his wishes, but he burst out all nerves:
“9th or 10th of May? What are you talking about, miss? It will be too late then! On the 3rd of May, at the latest, the technician must be here!”
“But you told me...” I tried to protest, but the bloke hang up and I had my hackles up. What shall I tell the Italians now? I wondered, full of worry.
Finally, the manufacturer Tafel sent a telex, where I added on the spot that everything was ready for the technician to come on the 3rd of May at the latest. After a while Mr Christides called again and ordered me not to do anything until he spoke with Lucas. He is a madcap!
When the boss came at last, I narrated the whole story to him, he phoned Mr Rossini at once and the Italian congratulated him on me. Then, for half an hour or more Lucas ran Paul down, saying that he is nothing but a dead loss. In the end, I had to work three hours overtime in order to finish all the necessary work and the boss gave me 2000 drachmas “so as to drink his health”.
Saturday, 23rd April 1988
Like every Saturday morning, my mother and I visited Alice and helped her with the housework. This time my sister was worried because she had arranged a get-together of friends for this evening. The problem was that Koko, her parrot, had escaped from his cage and made himself comfortable on the sofa. I approached and extended my finger, so that he could jump on it, but as soon as I got near, Koko was terrified and started flying around the living room.
Yanni got a good spanking because he took off his blouse and threw it off the balcony. A little later he disposed of a teddy bear as well. Alice asked me to babysit him for a while because she wanted to go to the shops and buy some clothes. The boy drove me hard and he almost jumped off the balcony. When Antony came, he managed to catch the bird by throwing cushions at it.
Later, in the evening, the guests started arriving: Emmanuel, the middle-aged lady-killer, and Roula, his stupid girlfriend: she wants to get rid of him but he threatens to stab her, she says; cousin Niki with her husband; Antony's sister, with her always broke but haughty husband; Dennis, Antony's best friend, with his fiancé. As usual, everybody ignored me systematically, until I was left all alone, crouched in a corner. When I dared say something to Alice, she gave me a malignant look and snapped at me: “We were kind enough to invite you! Now, if you aren't having a good time, we don't give a dime!”
Tuesday, 26th April 1988
The long-waited settlement of Pavlides ended in a fiasco, just like I had imagined: On the invoices the Italians had written “Delivery Ex Works” instead of “Delivery CIF”. I moved heaven and earth in order to make the Italians understand how to draw up the correct invoices. Then I had to get an order confirmation from the customer -everything in record time.
However, those shrewish hens in the bank didn't accept the order confirmation, because they never move a finger after 11:30 and I brought them the document at 12:00. When I finally finished, the time was 12:05 -too late. I hate banks. I hate hens. I hate this job.
Later on I had to go to the Tax Office and submit some VAT statements which were not accepted because, according to the sleepy public servant, “everything is wrong here!”.
In the afternoon, when spirits had calmed down a little, I confided some of my ideas in Lucas: For example, he could make questionnaires regarding wining machines and give them to his customers. He smiled and told me I should be doing Paul's job. “You are the best mechanical engineer this company has ever had,” he admitted. But he said nothing about a raise...
Chapter 21:New Horizons