CHAPTER III
The fact was that up to the last moment he had never expected such anending; he had been overbearing to the last degree, never dreaming thattwo destitute and defenceless women could escape from his control. Thisconviction was strengthened by his vanity and conceit, a conceit tothe point of fatuity. Pyotr Petrovitch, who had made his way up frominsignificance, was morbidly given to self-admiration, had the highestopinion of his intelligence and capacities, and sometimes even gloatedin solitude over his image in the glass. But what he loved and valuedabove all was the money he had amassed by his labour, and by all sortsof devices: that money made him the equal of all who had been hissuperiors.
When he had bitterly reminded Dounia that he had decided to take her inspite of evil report, Pyotr Petrovitch had spoken with perfect sincerityand had, indeed, felt genuinely indignant at such "black ingratitude."And yet, when he made Dounia his offer, he was fully aware of thegroundlessness of all the gossip. The story had been everywherecontradicted by Marfa Petrovna, and was by then disbelieved by all thetownspeople, who were warm in Dounia'a defence. And he would not havedenied that he knew all that at the time. Yet he still thought highlyof his own resolution in lifting Dounia to his level and regarded it assomething heroic. In speaking of it to Dounia, he had let out the secretfeeling he cherished and admired, and he could not understand thatothers should fail to admire it too. He had called on Raskolnikov withthe feelings of a benefactor who is about to reap the fruits of his gooddeeds and to hear agreeable flattery. And as he went downstairs now, heconsidered himself most undeservedly injured and unrecognised.
Dounia was simply essential to him; to do without her was unthinkable.For many years he had had voluptuous dreams of marriage, but he hadgone on waiting and amassing money. He brooded with relish, in profoundsecret, over the image of a girl--virtuous, poor (she must be poor),very young, very pretty, of good birth and education, very timid, onewho had suffered much, and was completely humbled before him, one whowould all her life look on him as her saviour, worship him, admire himand only him. How many scenes, how many amorous episodes he had imaginedon this seductive and playful theme, when his work was over! And,behold, the dream of so many years was all but realised; the beauty andeducation of Avdotya Romanovna had impressed him; her helpless positionhad been a great allurement; in her he had found even more than hedreamed of. Here was a girl of pride, character, virtue, of educationand breeding superior to his own (he felt that), and this creature wouldbe slavishly grateful all her life for his heroic condescension, andwould humble herself in the dust before him, and he would have absolute,unbounded power over her!... Not long before, he had, too, after longreflection and hesitation, made an important change in his career andwas now entering on a wider circle of business. With this change hischerished dreams of rising into a higher class of society seemed likelyto be realised.... He was, in fact, determined to try his fortunein Petersburg. He knew that women could do a very great deal. Thefascination of a charming, virtuous, highly educated woman might makehis way easier, might do wonders in attracting people to him, throwingan aureole round him, and now everything was in ruins! This suddenhorrible rupture affected him like a clap of thunder; it was like ahideous joke, an absurdity. He had only been a tiny bit masterful,had not even time to speak out, had simply made a joke, been carriedaway--and it had ended so seriously. And, of course, too, he did loveDounia in his own way; he already possessed her in his dreams--and allat once! No! The next day, the very next day, it must all be set right,smoothed over, settled. Above all he must crush that conceited milksopwho was the cause of it all. With a sick feeling he could not helprecalling Razumihin too, but, he soon reassured himself on that score;as though a fellow like that could be put on a level with him! The manhe really dreaded in earnest was Svidrigailov.... He had, in short, agreat deal to attend to....
*****
"No, I, I am more to blame than anyone!" said Dounia, kissing andembracing her mother. "I was tempted by his money, but on my honour,brother, I had no idea he was such a base man. If I had seen through himbefore, nothing would have tempted me! Don't blame me, brother!"
"God has delivered us! God has delivered us!" Pulcheria Alexandrovnamuttered, but half consciously, as though scarcely able to realise whathad happened.
They were all relieved, and in five minutes they were laughing. Only nowand then Dounia turned white and frowned, remembering what had passed.Pulcheria Alexandrovna was surprised to find that she, too, was glad:she had only that morning thought rupture with Luzhin a terriblemisfortune. Razumihin was delighted. He did not yet dare to express hisjoy fully, but he was in a fever of excitement as though a ton-weighthad fallen off his heart. Now he had the right to devote his life tothem, to serve them.... Anything might happen now! But he felt afraid tothink of further possibilities and dared not let his imaginationrange. But Raskolnikov sat still in the same place, almost sullen andindifferent. Though he had been the most insistent on getting rid ofLuzhin, he seemed now the least concerned at what had happened. Douniacould not help thinking that he was still angry with her, and PulcheriaAlexandrovna watched him timidly.
"What did Svidrigailov say to you?" said Dounia, approaching him.
"Yes, yes!" cried Pulcheria Alexandrovna.
Raskolnikov raised his head.
"He wants to make you a present of ten thousand roubles and he desiresto see you once in my presence."
"See her! On no account!" cried Pulcheria Alexandrovna. "And how dare heoffer her money!"
Then Raskolnikov repeated (rather dryly) his conversation withSvidrigailov, omitting his account of the ghostly visitations of MarfaPetrovna, wishing to avoid all unnecessary talk.
"What answer did you give him?" asked Dounia.
"At first I said I would not take any message to you. Then he said thathe would do his utmost to obtain an interview with you without my help.He assured me that his passion for you was a passing infatuation, now hehas no feeling for you. He doesn't want you to marry Luzhin.... His talkwas altogether rather muddled."
"How do you explain him to yourself, Rodya? How did he strike you?"
"I must confess I don't quite understand him. He offers you tenthousand, and yet says he is not well off. He says he is going away, andin ten minutes he forgets he has said it. Then he says he is going to bemarried and has already fixed on the girl.... No doubt he has a motive,and probably a bad one. But it's odd that he should be so clumsy aboutit if he had any designs against you.... Of course, I refused thismoney on your account, once for all. Altogether, I thought him verystrange.... One might almost think he was mad. But I may be mistaken;that may only be the part he assumes. The death of Marfa Petrovna seemsto have made a great impression on him."
"God rest her soul," exclaimed Pulcheria Alexandrovna. "I shall always,always pray for her! Where should we be now, Dounia, without this threethousand! It's as though it had fallen from heaven! Why, Rodya, thismorning we had only three roubles in our pocket and Dounia and I werejust planning to pawn her watch, so as to avoid borrowing from that manuntil he offered help."
Dounia seemed strangely impressed by Svidrigailov's offer. She stillstood meditating.
"He has got some terrible plan," she said in a half whisper to herself,almost shuddering.
Raskolnikov noticed this disproportionate terror.
"I fancy I shall have to see him more than once again," he said toDounia.
"We will watch him! I will track him out!" cried Razumihin, vigorously."I won't lose sight of him. Rodya has given me leave. He said to mehimself just now. 'Take care of my sister.' Will you give me leave, too,Avdotya Romanovna?"
Dounia smiled and held out her hand, but the look of anxiety did notleave her face. Pulcheria Alexandrovna gazed at her timidly, but thethree thousand roubles had obviously a soothing effect on her.
A quarter of an hour later, they were all engaged in a livelyconversation. Even Raskolnikov listened attentively for some time,though he did not talk. Razumihin was the speaker.
br /> "And why, why should you go away?" he flowed on ecstatically. "And whatare you to do in a little town? The great thing is, you are all heretogether and you need one another--you do need one another, believe me.For a time, anyway.... Take me into partnership, and I assure you we'llplan a capital enterprise. Listen! I'll explain it all in detail toyou, the whole project! It all flashed into my head this morning,before anything had happened... I tell you what; I have an uncle, I mustintroduce him to you (a most accommodating and respectable old man).This uncle has got a capital of a thousand roubles, and he lives on hispension and has no need of that money. For the last two years he hasbeen bothering me to borrow it from him and pay him six per cent.interest. I know what that means; he simply wants to help me. Last yearI had no need of it, but this year I resolved to borrow it as soon ashe arrived. Then you lend me another thousand of your three and we haveenough for a start, so we'll go into partnership, and what are we goingto do?"
Then Razumihin began to unfold his project, and he explained at lengththat almost all our publishers and booksellers know nothing at allof what they are selling, and for that reason they are usually badpublishers, and that any decent publications pay as a rule and givea profit, sometimes a considerable one. Razumihin had, indeed, beendreaming of setting up as a publisher. For the last two years he hadbeen working in publishers' offices, and knew three European languageswell, though he had told Raskolnikov six days before that he was"schwach" in German with an object of persuading him to take half histranslation and half the payment for it. He had told a lie then, andRaskolnikov knew he was lying.
"Why, why should we let our chance slip when we have one of the chiefmeans of success--money of our own!" cried Razumihin warmly. "Of coursethere will be a lot of work, but we will work, you, Avdotya Romanovna,I, Rodion.... You get a splendid profit on some books nowadays! Andthe great point of the business is that we shall know just what wantstranslating, and we shall be translating, publishing, learning all atonce. I can be of use because I have experience. For nearly two yearsI've been scuttling about among the publishers, and now I know everydetail of their business. You need not be a saint to make pots, believeme! And why, why should we let our chance slip! Why, I know--and I keptthe secret--two or three books which one might get a hundred roublessimply for thinking of translating and publishing. Indeed, and I wouldnot take five hundred for the very idea of one of them. And what do youthink? If I were to tell a publisher, I dare say he'd hesitate--they aresuch blockheads! And as for the business side, printing, paper, selling,you trust to me, I know my way about. We'll begin in a small way and goon to a large. In any case it will get us our living and we shall getback our capital."
Dounia's eyes shone.
"I like what you are saying, Dmitri Prokofitch!" she said.
"I know nothing about it, of course," put in Pulcheria Alexandrovna,"it may be a good idea, but again God knows. It's new and untried. Ofcourse, we must remain here at least for a time." She looked at Rodya.
"What do you think, brother?" said Dounia.
"I think he's got a very good idea," he answered. "Of course, it's toosoon to dream of a publishing firm, but we certainly might bring outfive or six books and be sure of success. I know of one book myselfwhich would be sure to go well. And as for his being able to manage it,there's no doubt about that either. He knows the business.... But we cantalk it over later...."
"Hurrah!" cried Razumihin. "Now, stay, there's a flat here in thishouse, belonging to the same owner. It's a special flat apart, notcommunicating with these lodgings. It's furnished, rent moderate,three rooms. Suppose you take them to begin with. I'll pawn your watchto-morrow and bring you the money, and everything can be arranged then.You can all three live together, and Rodya will be with you. But whereare you off to, Rodya?"
"What, Rodya, you are going already?" Pulcheria Alexandrovna asked indismay.
"At such a minute?" cried Razumihin.
Dounia looked at her brother with incredulous wonder. He held his cap inhis hand, he was preparing to leave them.
"One would think you were burying me or saying good-bye for ever," hesaid somewhat oddly. He attempted to smile, but it did not turn out asmile. "But who knows, perhaps it is the last time we shall see eachother..." he let slip accidentally. It was what he was thinking, and itsomehow was uttered aloud.
"What is the matter with you?" cried his mother.
"Where are you going, Rodya?" asked Dounia rather strangely.
"Oh, I'm quite obliged to..." he answered vaguely, as though hesitatingwhat he would say. But there was a look of sharp determination in hiswhite face.
"I meant to say... as I was coming here... I meant to tell you, mother,and you, Dounia, that it would be better for us to part for a time. Ifeel ill, I am not at peace.... I will come afterwards, I will come ofmyself... when it's possible. I remember you and love you.... Leave me,leave me alone. I decided this even before... I'm absolutely resolved onit. Whatever may come to me, whether I come to ruin or not, I want to bealone. Forget me altogether, it's better. Don't inquire about me. WhenI can, I'll come of myself or... I'll send for you. Perhaps it will allcome back, but now if you love me, give me up... else I shall begin tohate you, I feel it.... Good-bye!"
"Good God!" cried Pulcheria Alexandrovna. Both his mother and his sisterwere terribly alarmed. Razumihin was also.
"Rodya, Rodya, be reconciled with us! Let us be as before!" cried hispoor mother.
He turned slowly to the door and slowly went out of the room. Douniaovertook him.
"Brother, what are you doing to mother?" she whispered, her eyesflashing with indignation.
He looked dully at her.
"No matter, I shall come.... I'm coming," he muttered in an undertone,as though not fully conscious of what he was saying, and he went out ofthe room.
"Wicked, heartless egoist!" cried Dounia.
"He is insane, but not heartless. He is mad! Don't you see it? You'reheartless after that!" Razumihin whispered in her ear, squeezingher hand tightly. "I shall be back directly," he shouted to thehorror-stricken mother, and he ran out of the room.
Raskolnikov was waiting for him at the end of the passage.
"I knew you would run after me," he said. "Go back to them--be withthem... be with them to-morrow and always.... I... perhaps I shallcome... if I can. Good-bye."
And without holding out his hand he walked away.
"But where are you going? What are you doing? What's the matter withyou? How can you go on like this?" Razumihin muttered, at his wits' end.
Raskolnikov stopped once more.
"Once for all, never ask me about anything. I have nothing to tell you.Don't come to see me. Maybe I'll come here.... Leave me, but _don'tleave_ them. Do you understand me?"
It was dark in the corridor, they were standing near the lamp. For aminute they were looking at one another in silence. Razumihin rememberedthat minute all his life. Raskolnikov's burning and intent eyesgrew more penetrating every moment, piercing into his soul, into hisconsciousness. Suddenly Razumihin started. Something strange, as itwere, passed between them.... Some idea, some hint, as it were, slipped,something awful, hideous, and suddenly understood on both sides....Razumihin turned pale.
"Do you understand now?" said Raskolnikov, his face twitching nervously."Go back, go to them," he said suddenly, and turning quickly, he wentout of the house.
I will not attempt to describe how Razumihin went back to the ladies,how he soothed them, how he protested that Rodya needed rest in hisillness, protested that Rodya was sure to come, that he would come everyday, that he was very, very much upset, that he must not be irritated,that he, Razumihin, would watch over him, would get him a doctor, thebest doctor, a consultation.... In fact from that evening Razumihin tookhis place with them as a son and a brother.