LETTER I
MISS HOWE, TO MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE TUESDAY, NINE O'CLOCK.
I write, because you enjoin me to do so. Love you still!--How can Ihelp it, if I would? You may believe how I stand aghast, your lettercommunicating the first news--Good God of Heaven and Earth!--But whatshall I say?--I am all impatient for particulars.
Lord have mercy upon me!--But can it be?
My mother will indeed be astonished!--How can I tell it her!--It wasbut last night (upon some jealousies put into her head by your foolishuncle) that I assured her, and this upon the strength of your ownassurances, that neither man nor devil would be able to induce you totake a step that was in the least derogatory to the most punctilioushonour.
But, once more, can it be? What woman at this rate!--But, God preserveyou!
Let nothing escape you in your letters. Direct them for me, however, toMrs. Knolly's, till further notice.
*****
Observe, my dear, that I don't blame you by all this--Your relationsonly are in fault!--Yet how you came to change your mind is thesurprising thing.
How to break it to my mother, I know not. Yet if she hear it firstfrom any other, and find I knew it before, she will believe it to be myconnivance!--Yet, as I hope to live, I know not how to break it to her.
But this is teasing you.--I am sure, without intention.
Let me now repeat my former advice--If you are not married by this time,be sure delay not the ceremony. Since things are as they are, I wish itwere thought that you were privately married before you went away. Ifthese men plead AUTHORITY to our pain, when we are theirs--Why should wenot, in such a case as this, make some good out of the hated word, forour reputation, when we are induced to violate a more natural one?
Your brother and sister [that vexes me almost as much as any thing!]have now their ends. Now, I suppose, will go forward alterations ofwills, and such-like spiteful doings.
*****
Miss Lloyd and Miss Biddulph this moment send up their names. Theyare out of breath, Kitty says, to speak to me--easy to guess theirerrand;--I must see my mother, before I see them. I have no way but toshew her your letter to clear myself. I shall not be able to say aword, till she has run herself out of her first breath.--Forgive me, mydear--surprise makes me write thus. If your messenger did not wait, andwere not those young ladies below, I could write it over again, for fearof afflicting you.
I send what you write for. If there be any thing else you want that isin my power, command without reserve
Your ever affectionate ANNA HOWE.