LETTER XXXIX
MR. LOVELACE, TO JOHN BELFORD, ESQ. THURSDAY, APRIL 20.
He begins with communicating to him the letter he wrote to Mr. Doleman, to procure suitable lodgings in town, and which he sent away by the Lady's approbation: and then gives him a copy of the answer to it (see p. 218): upon which he thus expresses himself:
Thou knowest the widow; thou knowest her nieces; thou knowest thelodgings: and didst thou ever read a letter more artfully couchedthan this of Tom Doleman? Every possible objection anticipated! Everyaccident provided against! Every tittle of it plot-proof!
Who could forbear smiling, to see my charmer, like a farcical dean andchapter, choose what was before chosen for her; and sagaciously (as theygo in form to prayers, that Heaven would direct their choice) ponderingupon the different proposals, as if she would make me believe she hada mind for some other? The dear sly rogue looking upon me, too, with aview to discover some emotion in me. Emotions I had; but I can tellher that they lay deeper than her eye could reach, though it had been asun-beam.
No confidence in me, fair one! None at all, 'tis plain. Thou wiltnot, if I were inclined to change my views, encourage me by a generousreliance on my honour!--And shall it be said that I, a master of arts inlove, shall be overmatched by so unpractised a novice?
But to see the charmer so far satisfied with my contrivance as to borrowmy friend's letter, in order to satisfy Miss Howe likewise--!
Silly little rogues! to walk out into bye-paths on the strength of theirown judgment!--When nothing but experience can enable them to disappointus, and teach them grandmother-wisdom! When they have it indeed, thenmay they sit down, like so many Cassandras, and preach caution toothers; who will as little mind them as they did their instructresses,whenever a fine handsome confidant young fellow, such a one as thouknowest who, comes across them.
But, Belford, didst thou not mind that sly rogue Doleman's namingDover-street for the widow's place of abode?--What dost thou thinkcould be meant by that?--'Tis impossible thou shouldst guess, so, notto puzzle thee about it, suppose the Widow Sinclair's in Dover-streetshould be inquired after by some officious person, in order to come atcharacters [Miss Howe is as sly as the devil, and as busy to the full,]and neither such a name, nor such a house, can be found in that street,nor a house to answer the description; then will not the keenest hunterin England be at a fault?
But how wilt thou do, methinks thou askest, to hinder the lady fromresenting the fallacy, and mistrusting thee the more on that account,when she finds it out to be in another street?
Pho! never mind that: either I shall have a way for it, or we shallthoroughly understand one another by that time; or if we don't, she'llknow enough of me, not to wonder at such a peccadilla.
But how wilt thou hinder the lady from apprizing her friend of the realname?
She must first know it herself, monkey, must she not?
Well, but how wilt thou do to hinder her from knowing the street, andher friend from directing letters thither, which will be the same thingas if the name were known?
Let me alone for that too.
If thou further objectest, that Tom Doleman, is too great a dunce towrite such a letter in answer to mine:--Canst thou not imagine that, inorder to save honest Tom all this trouble, I who know the town so well,could send him a copy of what he should write, and leave him nothing todo but transcribe?
What now sayest thou to me, Belford?
And suppose I had designed this task of inquiry for thee; and supposethe lady excepted against thee for no other reason in the world, butbecause of my value for thee? What sayest thou to the lady, Jack?
This it is to have leisure upon my hands!--What a matchless plotterthy friend!--Stand by, and let me swell!--I am already as big as anelephant, and ten times wiser!--Mightier too by far! Have I not reasonto snuff the moon with my proboscis?--Lord help thee for a poor, for avery poor creature!--Wonder not that I despise thee heartily; since theman who is disposed immoderately to exalt himself, cannot do it but bydespising every body else in proportion.
I shall make good use of the Dolemanic hint of being married. But I willnot tell thee all at once. Nor, indeed, have I thoroughly digested thatpart of my plot. When a general must regulate himself by the motions ofa watchful adversary, how can he say beforehand what he will, or what hewill not, do?
Widow SINCLAIR, didst thou not say, Lovelace?--
Ay, SINCLAIR, Jack!--Remember the name! SINCLAIR, I repeat. She has noother. And her features being broad and full-blown, I will suppose herto be of Highland extraction; as her husband the colonel [mind that too]was a Scot, as brave, as honest.
I never forget the minutiae in my contrivances. In all matters thatadmit of doubt, the minutiae, closely attended to and provided for, areof more service than a thousand oaths, vows, and protestations made tosupply the neglect of them, especially when jealousy has made its way inthe working mind.
Thou wouldst wonder if thou knewest one half of my providences. To givethee but one--I have already been so good as to send up a list of booksto be procured for the lady's closet, mostly at second hand. Andthou knowest that the women there are all well read. But I will notanticipate--Besides, it looks as if I were afraid of leaving any thingto my old friend CHANCE; which has many a time been an excellent secondto me, and ought not be affronted or despised; especially by one who hasthe art of making unpromising incidents turn out in his favour.