LETTER LXII
MR. LOVELACE, TO JOHN BELFORD, ESQ. WEDN. APRIL 26.
At last my lucky star has directed us into the desired port, and we aresafely landed.--Well says Rowe:--
The wise and active conquer difficulties, By daring to attempt them. Sloth and folly Shiver and shrink at sight of toil and hazard, And make th' impossibility they fear.
But in the midst of my exultation, something, I know not what to callit, checks my joys, and glooms over my brighter prospects: if it be notconscience, it is wondrously like what I thought so, many, many yearsago.
Surely, Lovelace, methinks thou sayest, thy good motions are not goneoff already! Surely thou wilt not now at last be a villain to this lady!
I can't tell what to say to it. Why would not the dear creature acceptof me, when I so sincerely offered myself to her acceptance? Thingsalready appear with a very different face now I have got her here.Already have our mother and her daughters been about me:--'Charminglady! What a complexion! What eyes! What majesty in her person!--OMr. Lovelace, you are a happy man! You owe us such a lady!'--Then theyremind me of my revenge, and of my hatred to her whole family.
Sally was so struck with her, at first sight, that she broke out to mein these lines of Dryden:--
----Fairer to be seen Than the fair lily on the flow'ry green! More fresh than May herself in blossoms new!
I sent to thy lodgings within half an hour after our arrival, to receivethy congratulation upon it, but thou wert at Edgeware, it seems.
My beloved, who is charmingly amended, is retired to her constantemployment, writing. I must content myself with the same amusement, tillshe shall be pleased to admit me to her presence: for already have Igiven to every one her cue.
And, among the rest, who dost thou think is to be her maidservant?--Deb. Butler.
Ah, Lovelace!
And Ah, Belford!--It can't be otherwise. But what dost think Deb's nameis to be? Why, Dorcas, Dorcas Wykes. And won't it be admirable, if,either through fear, fright, or good liking, we can get my beloved toaccept of Dorcas Wykes for a bed-fellow?
In so many ways will it be now in my power to have the dear creature,that I shall not know which of them to choose!
But here comes the widow with Dorcas Wykes in her hand, and I am tointroduce them both to my fair-one?
*****
So, the honest girl is accepted--of good parentage--but, through aneglected education, plaguy illiterate: she can neither write, norread writing. A kinswoman of Mrs. Sinclair--could not therefore well berefused, the widow in person recommending her; and the wench only takentill her Hannah can come. What an advantage has an imposing or forwardnature over a courteous one! So here may something arise to lead intocorrespondencies, and so forth. To be sure a person need not be so wary,so cautious of what she writes, or what she leaves upon her table, ortoilette, when her attendant cannot read.
It would be a miracle, as thou sayest, if this lady can saveherself--And having gone so far, how can I recede? Then my revenge uponthe Harlowes!--To have run away with a daughter of theirs, to make hera Lovelace--to make her one of a family so superior to her own--what atriumph, as I have heretofore observed,* to them! But to run awaywith her, and to bring her to my lure in the other light, what amortification of their pride! What a gratification of my own!
Then these women are continually at me. These women, who, before mywhole soul and faculties were absorbed in the love of this singlecharmer, used always to oblige me with the flower and first fruits oftheir garden! Indeed, indeed, my goddess should not have chosen thisLondon widow's! But I dare say, if I had, she would not. People who willbe dealing in contradiction ought to pay for it. And to be punished bythe consequences of our own choice--what a moral lies there!--What adeal of good may I not be the occasion of from a little evil!
Dorcas is a neat creature, both in person and dress; her continuance notvulgar. And I am in hopes, as I hinted above, that her lady will acceptof her for her bedfellow, in a strange house, for a week or so. But Isaw she had a dislike to her at her very first appearance; yet I thoughtthe girl behaved very modestly--over-did it a little perhaps. Herladyship shrunk back, and looked shy upon her. The doctrine ofsympathies and antipathies is a surprising doctrine. But Dorcas will beexcessively obliging, and win her lady's favour soon, I doubt not. Iam secure in one of the wench's qualities however--she is not to becorrupted. A great point that! since a lady and her maid, when heartilyof one party, will be too hard for half a score devils.
The dear creature was no less shy when the widow first accosted her ather alighting. Yet I thought that honest Doleman's letter had preparedher for her masculine appearance.
And now I mention that letter, why dost thou not wish me joy, Jack?
Joy, of what?
Why, joy of my nuptials. Know then, that said, is done, with me, when Ihave a mind to have it so; and that we are actually man and wife! onlythat consummation has not passed: bound down to the contrary of that,by a solemn vow, till a reconciliation with her family take place. Thewomen here are told so. They know it before my beloved knows it; andthat, thou wilt say, is odd.
But how shall I do to make my fair-one keep her temper on theintimation? Why, is she not here? At Mrs. Sinclair's?--But if she willhear reason, I doubt not to convince her, that she ought to acquiesce.
She will insist, I suppose, upon my leaving her, and that I shall nottake up my lodgings under the same roof. But circumstances are changedsince I first made her that promise. I have taken all the vacantapartments; and must carry this point also.
I hope in a while to get her with me to the public entertainments. Sheknows nothing of the town, and has seen less of its diversions thanever woman of her taste, her fortune, her endowments, did see. She has,indeed, a natural politeness, which transcends all acquirement. The mostcapable of any one I ever knew of judging what an hundred things are, byseeing one of a like nature. Indeed she took so much pleasure in herown chosen amusements, till persecuted out of them, that she had neitherleisure nor inclination for the town diversions.
These diversions will amuse, and the deuce is in it, if a littlesusceptibility will not put forth, now she receives my address;especially if I can manage it so as to be allowed to live under one roofwith her. What though the sensibility be at first faint and reluctant,like the appearance of an early spring-flower in frosty winter, whichseems afraid of being nipt by an easterly blast! That will be enough forme.
I hinted to thee in a former,* that I had provided books for the lady'sin-door amusement. Sally and Polly are readers. My beloved's lightcloset was their library. And several pieces of devotion have been putin, bought on purpose at second-hand.
* See Letter XXXIX. of this volume.
I was always for forming a judgment of the reading part of the sex bytheir books. The observations I have made on this occasion have been ofgreat use to me, as well in England as out of it. The sagacious lady maypossibly be as curious in this point as her Lovelace.
So much for the present. Thou seest that I have a great deal of businessbefore me; yet I will write again soon.
[Mr. Lovelace sends another letter with this; in which he takes noticeof young Miss Sorlings's setting out with them, and leaving them at Barnet: but as its contents are nearly the same with those in the Lady's next letter, it is omitted.]
END OF VOL.3
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