The pain in his face, his eyes, his voice sliced through her like the sharpest blade. “Simon, it wasn’t like that,” she began.
“Then tell me, Toni. What was it like?” His bitter words rang across the room.
“I was afraid,” she admitted. “Afraid of messing things up between us, afraid of messing things up between all four of us.”
“I see, and keeping the fact that you slept with me, much less that you were pregnant with my child from me isn’t messing things up?”
“It was wrong,” she said softly.
“It wasn’t just wrong, Toni. It was despicable. I honestly never thought you were capable of such deceit. I am certainly not proud of the fact I had sex with a woman and apparently can’t remember it, much less that it was with my supposed best friend, but what you did was unthinkable. You should have told me. Immediately. There was no reason for you to have gone through any of it alone.”
She turned away, her head aching from the tears she’d cried. She heard him walk across the floor, and she whirled around in time to see him walk out the front door. “Simon!” she called out, racing to the door. “Don’t go. We need to talk.”
He paused on the porch and slowly turned around to face her. What she saw in his eyes made her flinch. “I don’t have anything to say to you, Toni.”
She froze at the anger, the hatred in his voice. As he walked away, her heart shattered into a million pieces. She watched in agony as he drove off. Out of her life.
She stood there for a long time, numb to the cold. Numb to anything but the searing pain in her chest. Then she slowly turned and walked back into the house.
Simon pounded the steering wheel in rage. Tears nearly blinded his vision as he tore down the road. How could she have betrayed him like this? Never would he have put her in the same category as Starla. But to allow him to go to the doctor’s visits with her, pursue a relationship with him, all the while pregnant with his child. His child.
He’d never felt so angry, so utterly pissed off in his life. Her deception was unthinkable. And it made him sick to his stomach that the woman he loved and wanted to spend the rest of his life with had lied to him from the beginning of their relationship.
He pulled into the driveway of his house and slammed out of the truck. His mood was black, and he’d never hurt as much as he did at this moment. His fingers curled around the box the engagement ring was nestled in. In an angry motion he sent it flying across the kitchen as he stepped in the door.
“Whoa, dude.” A.J. stepped back as Simon made his entrance.
Simon cursed under his breath. No one was supposed to be home. From the living room, he heard Matt get up and join them in the kitchen. Was the whole bloody world staying home tonight?
“What’s going on?” Matt asked with a frown as he leaned against the bar.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” he managed to grit out. He closed his eyes, vowing not to shed a single tear in front of the guys.
“I take it the evening didn’t go as planned,” A.J. said quietly.
“Observant aren’t you,” Simon snarled.
“What the hell are you two talking about?” Matt demanded. “As usual, I’m in the dark.”
“She say no?” A.J. pressed.
“I didn’t ask,” he replied bitterly.
“Why do I get the feeling you two are talking about Toni,” Matt said in a dangerous tone. “One of you better spill it.”
Anger swelled and overflowed, exploding out of him before he could call it back. “Your sister is a lying, conniving bitch.”
Matt’s jaw dropped open then a dangerous glint surfaced in his eyes. He advanced on Simon, his expression murderous. A.J. didn’t look any happier, but at least he was keeping his distance.
“You better have a damn good reason for calling my sister names,” Matt said softly.
“Who’s the father?” A.J. asked, correctly perceiving the source of his anger.
“I am,” he spat out, thumbing himself in the chest.
“What the…” Matt began.
“Say what?” A.J. sputtered. “Say that again?”
In sparse words, he related the events of the night he and Starla had broken up. By the time he finished, A.J.’s mouth was on the floor, and Matt had sunk down on a barstool.
“What was she thinking?” Matt asked in disbelief. “That’s about the most hare-brained thing she’s ever managed.”
A.J. remained silent as he stared between the two of them. Simon threw open the fridge and popped a beer. He took a long swig then looked at it in disgust. This is what got him into this situation in the first place.
He glanced back over at A.J. who stood staring at him. “Did you break up with her?” he asked.
“Break up with her? Breaking up implies a relationship of sorts,” Simon said with a snort. “Apparently I was under the mistaken impression we had a relationship. I couldn’t have been more wrong.”
Matt shook his head. “I can’t believe she would do something like that.”
“I don’t think it’s fair to gang up on her,” A.J. said quietly. “We’ve only heard Simon’s side of things.”
Simon whirled and pinned A.J. with the full force of his glare. “You think I would lie about something like this?”
“Not at all,” he returned mildly. “But we haven’t heard Toni’s reasons for doing what she did. I for one don’t think it’s any of my business, therefore, I refuse to pass judgment.”
“It was a stupid thing to do,” Matt insisted.
“I don’t think stupid covers it,” Simon muttered.
“Look, I know you’re blown away by this,” A.J. began. “Who wouldn’t be? But my advice is to sit on it a few days. Don’t make any decisions you’ll regret later. I refuse to think Toni did this maliciously.”
“You’re entitled to your opinion, A.J. But tell me this. Why the hell didn’t she tell me when she found out she was pregnant? I can almost understand why she didn’t say anything about us going to bed together. It’s certainly not something I’m proud of. But when she found out she was pregnant she should have told me immediately. I had the right to know.”
“Just don’t do anything you’ll regret,” A.J. repeated as he headed toward his room.
“Sorry, man,” Matt offered.
“Yeah, me too.” He turned and retreated to his room, shutting the door on his disillusionment.
The wind blew cold off the water, biting through the thin shirt she wore. Toni sat on the sand, her knees hugged to her swollen belly. The water rolled closer as the tide swept in, but still she didn’t move, her gaze fixed on a distant point on the horizon.
She’d driven aimlessly until she found herself heading down the interstate toward the coast. She and Simon had sat on this very beach watching the sun go down on their first date. It seemed a lifetime ago.
Tears she didn’t think she had left slipped down her cheek, burning a single trail of despair. By now Matt and A.J. would know what had happened. Matt would be angry that she had acted so rashly. She had no idea what A.J. would think. He’d probably be hurt that she hadn’t confided in him. But most of all, Simon was lost to her. She would never get over that.
And she had nobody to blame but herself.
How could she face any of them? Her heart ached. Heavy and hurting. How could she pick up and go on? No matter that her relationship with Simon was over, when he calmed down, he would want to be a part of their baby’s life. The worst kind of torture would be being tied to him through their child, having to be near him and knowing he hated her.
She laid her head forward on her arms and let deep welling sobs escape her. She sounded hoarse and raw, but she didn’t care. She’d not only lost the man she loved, she’d lost her best friend as well.
She stayed there through the night, staring out over the great expanse of water. The tide came in. The tide went out. Before long, the sun started to peep up, bathing the beach in soft light. And still she sat, huddled on the sand
with only her regrets to keep her warm.