“I’ll think about it, I’ll meet you after second bell at your locker.”
“See you then.” Click. She didn’t even say goodbye.
I looked in the mirror on my vanity table. My brain was trying to compute the conversation. I can’t waste my time worrying about everything. Maybe Brittany is fun. I guess I could give her a chance. Maybe we should check this party out. There’s no harm in that, if it’s not my thing I can always leave…I just need to convince Jess. My phone rings, it’s Joey.
“Do you feel like tossing the ball around?”
“Sounds great, I’ll set up my net in the backyard.”
“Cool, I’ll see you in a bit!
I love him.
“Bump, set and hit it back to me… use more of your legs and not so much your arms… good… now hit it harder back… good… harder this time… OUCH!”
“You said harder.”
“You’re a tough one Lindsey Connors, that’s why I love ya.” He lunged forward to give me a quick hug.
“Ahhhhhhhh,” a little voice came from the upstairs window.
“Aimee, don’t you have something to do?” I was annoyed but not mad. There’s just no being mad on Cloud 9!
“Hi Aimee! Do you want to come play volleyball with us?” teased Joey.
“Hee hee hee” and she was gone.
“She’s cute,” said Joey.
“She has her moments,” I replied.
“Come on; make me as good as you! I must get on that team!” I said eagerly.
“Easy girl!” Joey chuckled at my excitement. “I don’t think you’ll have a problem.”
We volleyed back and forth for probably two hours. Joey showed me some new blocking moves at the net. I retrieved some hard hits from him until my forearms were black and blue. It was getting dark by this time.
“All right I’m done,” I collapsed in the grass.
“Good job,” Joey sat down beside me.
He gently brushed my hair out of my eye with one finger. He tenderly held my chin with his soft hand, leaned in slow as if to ask for permission to kiss me. His lips met mine slowly, with surprising sweetness. My heart flipped. It was beating so hard I was worried Joey could hear its thumps. I tried to speak, but couldn’t find any words, let alone the right words to say. I could only smile and hope I wasn’t blinding him by the glow on my face.
“I better go, it’s getting late,” said Joey.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” I said with a big grin on my face.
“Bye.” He playfully punched my shoulder and threw me a bashful smile.
“Hey Mom, hi Aimee what are you two doing?” I asked as I slowly touched down from heaven.
“You like him a lot, don’t you Lindsey?” Mom asked. I swear she knows all my emotions.
“Mom!?” I felt my face getting red again.
“It’s soooo obvious! I don’t think you’ve EVER said hi to me before!” Aimee said all-knowingly.
“I even saw you kiss!!” Aimee started her irritating giggle.
“You’re kissing already? I thought you just started seeing each other?” Mom started doing “the mom” thing.
“I don’t need to hear the birds and the bee’s thing again. Plus, it’s not like that. I mean I’m not like that.”
“I know sweetie, I guess I just always need to know you’re making smart decisions. you know you can always talk to me,” Mom said.
“I know, don’t worry!” I reassured her.
“It’s just that I overheard some of the women from yoga talking about the Drummond family, well more like Chloe and her mom and…”
“Mom! Don’t you trust me? Chloe is my best friend but we still are very different! Why do you always compare me to Chloe!?” I started to yell.
“I’m sorry honey, I do trust you, it’s Chloe that I don’t trust and you guys spend so much time together.”
“Chloe is slowly starting to hang out with different girls now anyway…” I said with noticeable discontent.
“Well I always believe that things…”
“Happen for a reason, I know mom. I’m going to get ready for bed.” I said
“You’re a smart girl Lindsey, and you make good decisions. Goodnight sweetie, I love you.”
“Love you to mom.”
“Good luck tomorrow.”
“Thanks.”
“Has Chloe been to her locker yet?” I asked Kelly whose locker is right next to Chloe’s.
“Haven’t seen her and I’ve been standing here waiting for Scott for 15 minutes. Oh there he is. What took you?” asked Kelly before he could stop walking.
“Sorry, Mr. Gehring wanted to discuss my brutal essay mark.”
“Hey Lindsey, Joey is having lunch in the cafeteria with Jake.” Scott said.
“Yeah, I know, I’m supposed to meet up with Chloe for lunch.”
“I just saw her and Brittany Sinclair get into a jeep with some Grade 12 guys off the football team.”
“Oh.” I tried not to sound too disappointed but really felt like crying inside.
“Come join us…” Kelly grabbed my arm. She knew I was hurt.
CHAPTER 5
Volleyball Try-Outs
As I was complaining to Jessica about Chloe while we changed into our g ym clothes for tr y-outs, I overheard one of the girls talking about how she lost so much weight over the summer. She was saying something about sticking her finger down her throat after she eats junk food and makes herself throw it all up.
“Yuk, did you hear that?” I asked Jess.
“I did that once, actually I do only sometimes now. It helps when I have a major craving for something and I pig right out… I just go into the bathroom and get rid of it all… then I couldn’t gain any weight,” she boasted.
“Throwing up is so gross though,” I stated.
“You could take these pills, they just make you go to the bathroom, you know, like if you were constipated. you could get rid of all the food that way as well.”
“Is that okay for your body?” I had to ask, it all sounded too good to be true.
“Those functions of your body are totally natural aren’t they?” she asked.
“Yeah, I suppose.”
I overheard that girl again talking about eating anything she wanted and never gaining any weight. That can’t be good for your body.
“Let’s go ladies!” Miss Van Weldan barged into the change room.
“I want you ready on the yellow line in five minutes!” I heard she was tough but she’s making me more nervous! My heart is pounding so hard, my legs feel cold and weak. I need to focus, here we go, this is it.
We were all sizing each other up when we were waiting to hear our drill. I recognized Jaycee Patterson and Sara Bartley from Huntington. They’re good players. Tracy Mitchell and Laurie Shelling were also trying out. They are as good as me, they are also from Huntington. We exchanged smiles, I met them playing in tournaments last season. I guess it was just me, Jess, and Hannah trying out from Kincora.
“Welcome ladies to the Creston Queens try-outs. We are reigning city champs five years running and we want to keep our title!”
Some of the girls let out a cheer. I assume they’ve been on the team.
“I see a lot of old faces here and a few new ones. We’re going to work you hard for the next two hours…” Miss Van Weldan was explaining the session when another girl came through the change room door hustling across the gym to join us.
“Sorry,” she mumbled. I heard some snickers from some of the girls I didn’t know. Jaycee and Sara were whispering something to one another and quietly giggling.
“Name please?” Miss Van Weldan said with obvious annoyance.
“Deirdre Duncan,” she looked down to the floor, embarrassed with the attention.
“Dork.” I heard someone say but I wasn’t able to find the face.
“Okay ladies, let’s do a quick stretch, we’ll run 10 laps and then start those drills. I’d like to introduce Mr. Shaw w
ho is student teaching this session. He’ll be assisting me with the try-outs. We want to keep our Creston High glory girls, so let’s work hard out here! We’ll be walking around taking notes and watching every one of you.”
“Hustle hustle, be ready you guys, you don’t know where the ball is coming from!” Mr. Shaw was hitting balls to the ground and we were to dive while passing the ball, then run to the net for a set, then block, and run around to the other side of the net to receive another hit… and repeat this drill.
“I’m dying… my legs are killing me… I’m done…” Jessica was so red in the face, perspiration dripping from her forehead, I thought she’d drop.
“I feel like I’m in the army.”
“Come on… we’re almost done …hang in there buddy…” I tried to offer words of encouragement through each labored breath I took.
“Check out poor Deirdre,” I pointed to the corner where Deirdre was slumped over trying to catch her breath. I noticed Joey watching the action through a window in the gym’s door. I caught his eye and he gave me a thumb’s up. I have to admit, I was feeling pretty strong. The back of my neck was wet with sweat, there was sweat falling from the end of my nose. The older girls from last year’s team motivated me to work harder and harder. They were here for one reason only.
The whistle blew.
“Okay ladies, come in please!” Miss Van Weldan hollered.
“Good job out there, you guys worked hard and that was nice to see. We’ll have the first cuts posted Monday morning outside my office. Final try-out is Monday after school. Mr. Shaw and I will sit down after practice and decide who plays on this year’s team. The new Queens team will be posted Tuesday morning. Any questions?”
“If we don’t make the senior team, are we automatically on the junior team?” asked Hannah.
“Not necessarily. We’ll have to check out the competition.”
“If there are no more questions, we’ll see some of you Friday at 3:45 pm.”
“I can’t wait to hit the shower,” said Hannah.
As we entered the change room, Brittany and Chloe practically had their noses pressed up against the mirror applying their lipstick and were giggling about something.
“Hey!” Chloe said surprised with a little uneasiness in her tone, “How were the try-outs?”
“Fine.” I responded as cold as ice, you could practically see my breath.
“What’s your problem?” Chloe knew me all too well.
“You are Chloe! Did you have a nice lunch?!” My voice was starting to rise involuntarily. I just snapped. I couldn’t pretend any longer. I could sense Brittany’s ears perk up as she turned and glared my way.
“We were with …oh… I forgot …sorry.” She paused almost waiting for my next outburst.
“Apparently you just have more important things on your mind now!” I barked.
“Chill out,” snapped Brittany. She apparently felt a need to include herself.
“Excuse me?!” I retorted and threw her an evil look. “Was I talking to you?!” I felt something completely come over me. My face was getting hotter than ever, I felt my body vibrate with anger. My fists were clenched.
“Yeah, go paint your nails you freakin’ Barbie doll!” Jess is never one to stand back, especially when her friends are involved. Everyone in the change room started to gather around.
“I’d rather look like a Barbie than Farmer Boy Ken!!!” Brittany obviously doesn’t take much either.
“You have totally changed! I don’t even know you anymore, and I don’t even think I care to!” I yelled at Chloe. I was losing it.
“Lindsey, relax, let’s hang out tomorrow or something? you’re making a big deal for nothing here.” Chloe was trying to calm me down but still look cool in front of Cat Woman.
“You guys better calm down before Miss Van Weldan hears you or you’ll easily get cut from the team,” Tracy Mitchell said.
“You’re right. I have way more important things to worry about,” I started to jam my school clothes in my gym bag; I just wanted to get out of there.
“I’ll phone you,” I heard Chloe call out as I promptly exited the room.
“Whatever.” I honestly couldn’t care less at this point.
“Lindsey!” I could hear Joey trying to catch up as I stormed out the main doors, throwing my bag over my shoulder and trying to tie my hair back. I stopped and turned toward his voice.
“What’s your hurry?” he ran up trying to catch his breath.
“I finally vented on Chloe.”
“Wow, you seem pretty upset.” He attempted to put his arm around me but I brushed him off.
“Actually I feel much better, but I think I need to be alone right now.” I felt pretty serious at this point.
“Okay, I understand. Call me whenever you need to talk.” His tender face was full of empathy and concern. He must really care about me.
“By the way, you did awesome on the court tonight,” he smiled.
“Thanks Joey …and I will call you,” I squeezed his hand to let him know that it was still me beneath the anger.
CHAPTER 6
Chloe’s Surprise Visit
It was just after seven o’clock when I arrived home from volleyball. The house was empty. I remembered mom and dad were taking Aimee and Derek to an early show. That was something we did as a family ever y Friday night. I however, have not joined them in the past couple of years. I’m glad to be alone tonight. I just feel like relaxing in my room.
I don’t want to talk to anyone. I put on my favorite playlist of slow songs and threw myself on the bed. I couldn’t hold back the tears. They just came flowing out. It’s not just Chloe, it’s everything! New school, new boyfriend, the tryouts.
I think I’m just overdone. Joey is the perfect boyfriend but almost too perfect. What if he dumps me for someone who isn’t so complicated and insecure? He deserves better. I grabbed the corner of my pillow and pulled it in close while turning over to my side. I just sobbed, I felt so sad.
I played good tonight; at least I know I gave it my best. Mom and Dad always say that you have to always give it 100% and if someone else just happens to have 110% that day then that’s just the way it is. I’ve just been so scared and nervous about all these changes in my life, and now seeing what Chloe is doing is really confusing to me. Especially when she and I just used to sit and talk about the future and what high school would be like.
We were supposed to be friends forever. We were going to be each others maid of honor at our weddings someday. I guess I’m just feeling overwhelmed. I usually get like this when things seem to pile up. I started to feel a little better and almost refreshed from crying. I felt my pillow, it was soaked.
I was getting up to blow my nose when I heard the doorbell ring. I looked at the clock. It was a quarter to nine, I wonder if Mom and Dad forgot their key? I quietly went downstairs and peered through the window, it was Chloe. She didn’t see me; maybe I could pretend no one was home.
I don’t want her to think she got to me enough for me to stay home on a Friday night. It also looks like she isn’t doing much tonight either. I felt compelled to open the door; after all it’s still the Chloe that I at one time, played dolls with. I slowly turned the knob. I waited for her to speak first.
“Hi,” she said, looking for a reaction to read.
“Hey,” I said abruptly waiting for an immediate response from her.
“Can I come in?” she appeared to be the Chloe I knew.
“Where’s your queen?” I had to throw another jab to the already upset Chloe. Now that I’m on top, I guess I could lay off a bit.
“I told her I needed to talk to you; she’s always got stuff to do anyways.”
“So if she wasn’t busy, you wouldn’t be here.” I was feeling the gage on my anger thermostat start to go up again.
“No Lindsey! Give me a break, will you? I was coming to talk to you no matter what anyone said, alright!? Can I come in or what?” I knew I had pus
hed her far enough.
“Yeah, come in.”
She followed me to my room where we used to hang out for hours on end.
“I just want to say that I really am sorry about lunch today, I totally forgot…”
I had to cut her off…
“That just means that you totally forgot about me….do you even want to be friends?” I cut to the chase.
“Of course I do!” she sounded annoyed with my question. “you knew how nervous I was about starting high school.” I just want to make sure I maintain my popularity, and I knew that making friends with Brittany would definitely help. I knew that it would be devastating if I was on her bad side. That would be the end of my reputation.
“Why do you care?” I was baffled by what I was hearing. This didn’t sound like the same Chloe I knew.
“I don’t have anything else! I just have my looks, and it’s the same for Brittany!” She was getting pretty upset trying to hold back her tears.
“My mom always said that I should act this way or that and I should wear certain clothes. I should always be attractive to the guys or else no one would ever want to marry me!” She covered her face with her hands in an attempt to control her tears.
“But there is so much more to life Chloe, I thought you felt the same way?”
“You have so much more than I do Lindsey, you have a great family, and great boyfriend who actually likes you for who you are and not just how you look standing beside him. you’re an awesome athlete and I’m sure that will open many doors for you one day. It’s like; this all hit me like a brick the first day of school. I was so scared and insecure, I had to find a safe place.”
She tried to catch her breath as she choked on her tears. “In all honesty, I thought I’d lose you first and I couldn’t handle that so I needed to somehow find some similarities with maybe another group. I didn’t totally intend for this to happen, it just felt like it was the safest thing for me to do. I’m not like you Lindsey, no matter how hard I try!”
“Chloe, we’ve always been a little different from each other, I thought that’s how we could be such good friends?” I was truly amazed with what I was hearing.
“I guess in the back of my mind high school was just so important to my future. you know my mom had me when she was in Grade 12, she dated my “dad” all through high school.”
“What does that have to do with our friendship?” I was puzzled.
“You’re right and that’s what I realized tonight,” she smiled. I couldn’t help but smile back.