Elindo the Alien Ghost
by S.A. Hauntdin
Copyright 2016 S.A. Hauntdin
Contents
Chapter I The International Ghost Office
Chapter II River of Spirits
Chapter III Alien Community Service
Connect with S.A. Hauntdin
Chapter I The International Ghost Office
Elindo spent a lot of time alone but he was not a lonely ghost.
‘Next!’ The voice from The International Ghost Office called.
A ghoul, a phantom and a banshee were waiting in the queue behind him and he could feel them willing him to hurry up.
He glided towards the counter.
‘Yes?’
‘I’m Elindo and…’
‘Can I see your paperwork first?’
The spectacled lady didn’t look away from her screen and shoved her hand through the open window, waiting for Elindo’s paperwork before she would acknowledge him. He manifested his paperwork, there was grunting behind him. He pushed the papers into her cold hands.
She jerked her hand away and held the paper in front of her face, squinting through her spectacles to read the fine print. She paused and turned her full head towards Elindo; scanning him from head to alien toe.
‘What planet are you from Elindo?’ She was unimpressed.
‘I’m from Esplanar…’
‘I’m sorry but we can only deal with human ghosts at this counter, you need to see someone else.’ She had an American accent which Elindo found strange since he died in the Brazillian rainforest nearby.
‘Who else should I see?’
‘Your Elder, they should be able to advise you. Since you are not from Earth, we definitely can’t put you through to The Other Side with the other Earthly ghosts. Not at this office.’
Elindo could feel an annoyed stare from the banshee burrowing into his back.
‘I don’t have an Elder because I am not from Earth. My space ship crashed in the rainforest and then I died here… I can’t get back to my old planet for my soul to be recycled and now I’m going around in circles trying to leave the realm of ghosts and get to The Other Side…’
Elindo wondered if he should get frustrated or somehow feel an emotion that would convey urgency in his voice. He telepathically searched her mind to see if there was anything she could do; there was not.
‘You need to go to a place deep in the Amazon.’ An English voice boomed from behind.
Elindo turned around to see the phantom with a know-it-all look on his face;
‘There are a lot of Alien crashes in the Amazon rainforest and there’s a small office there that deals with Alien ghosts – they can help your spirit get back to your home planet!’
Elindo looked back at the lady behind the counter.
She looked at him and the phantom blankly like she didn’t know any better.
‘Ok then… err…’ Elindo was thinking.
‘Next!’
The spectacled lady wasted no time as the banshee glided past him with a haunted look on her pale face. He shivered and stepped back; he didn’t like the feeling of being close to banshees. When he read their mind he saw only pain.
The English phantom gave him a sympathetic look through kind blue eyes. Elindo decided it was time to leave. He would just have to make his way to the Amazon rainforest again and try to find out where the small office was.
The Earthly ghost network and The International Ghost Office were very inefficient, he thought. On his home planet, human ghosts would never be treated the way he was here. It was hard for an Alien ghost to find support on this planet.
‘Just get to the Amazon and they should be able to help you at the office there…’
The phantom chimed in as Elindo made his way past the ghostly queue.
‘Thank you Sir.’ Elindo noticed that human adults who didn’t know each other well called each other Sir and Madam.
‘Call me Ruxted!’ The phantom looked like he was about to extend his hand towards Elindo to shake, but his wispy phantom form was fading in and out of the air too quickly for Elindo to grasp.
Ruxted was incredibly thin, almost like a cheerful skeleton and although he was milky white, with no colour to his cheeks, his eyes shone with mischief.
‘Nice to meet you, I’m Elindo.’
Elindo smiled; he was happy to meet a friendly ghost on Earth, even if it was a phantom.
‘Why can’t you get through to The Other Side Ruxted?’
Elindo understood how souls were recycled on his home planet, but he was still confused about the system on Earth.
‘Because I used to hang around with a bad crowd of phantoms… you know… in a place called Kiddabeck Castle in England. We used to haunt the tourists - nothing serious - just the usual floating cups, walking knight’s armour, throwing voices!’
Ruxted had a cheerful look in his eyes, as though he had fond memories of haunting the living. His smile faded when he turned and looked at the queue again.
‘Anyway, haunting the living counts as a class two offence and they won’t let you through to The Other Side until they’ve stamped your community service.’
Elindo and Ruxted were interrupted as a small creature resembling a goblin pushed past their knees and headed towards the exit, his claw-like fingers were clutching paperwork.
Elindo was confused. He didn’t understand what Ruxted meant when he said haunting the living was a class two offence or how community service for ghosts worked.
‘I’m intrigued by your story Ruxted, can I use telepathy to read your mind?’
It was a very useful way for Elindo to get the information he needed from humans if he could not understand their human words.
‘Ah yes, I’ve met Aliens before – I know how it works.’
Ruxted closed his eyes and Elindo stared at the space between his eyebrows to access Ruxted’s memories. The pictures came quickly, with clarity;
An expensively heeled tourist looked at her reflection in the glass surrounding a knight of arms. She had pulled the cap off her lipstick and pressed the stick onto the skin of her lips as she stared vainly into the glass. Suddenly Ruxted appeared beside her as the lipstick floated out of her hand and wrote on the glass;
NOT YOUR COLOUR!
She froze, with her chubby, wrinkled hand mid-air, then promptly screamed and half ran, half fell over the inappropriate height of her heels as she tried to get away. Elindo saw a succession of similar incidences with tourists running out of the ruinous gates of the crumbling castle. They were all scared by Ruxted and his friends.
Elindo then saw the memory of Ruxted being in front of a ghostly judge in the International Criminal Ghost Court.
‘Russel John Uxted…’ Said the grey-wigged judge in a very official voice, ‘… you have spent the past twenty years of human time haunting various castles in England, France and Italy; scaring innocent tourists. What do you have to say for yourself?’
‘I am ready to give up my life of haunting the living and move on to The Other Side, Your Honour…’
Judge Joseph Ghostkeeper looked down at a hobbling gnome ghost who shuffled towards him with a short outstretched arm. The outstretched arm carried a pile of documents; Ruxted’s list of offences.
Judge Ghostkeeper put on his spectacles and read the first page in silence, then looked over his spectacles at Ruxted;
‘I always praise ghosts who decide to give up haunting and move on to The Other Side, you are no exception – well done. However, you will have to do many good deeds before you are allowed to pass to The Other Side… only those who are mostly kind to humans are allowed to continue on their soul journey.’
Judge Ghostkeeper gave Ruxted a meaningful loo
k.
The memory faded from Elindo and Ruxted opened his eyes, they were amongst the queuing ghosts in The International Ghost Office again. Elindo now understood.
Ruxted looked around the room and then at Elindo;
‘It’s why this place is full of phantoms, banshees, goblins and other naughty types. They have to make sure we’ve done enough community service – throwing children out of the path of oncoming traffic, putting out fires when no one’s home; that kind of thing – before we are allowed to move on.’ Ruxted explained.
Elindo looked around and saw what Ruxted meant, there were very few human ghosts at this ghost office – most seemed not to have a human form but at least they were natives to Earth.
‘Next!’ The banshee, now looking less tormented, walked passed them towards the exit and the queue shuffled along.
Elindo remembered he still needed to find a way to get to The Other Side.
‘Hey Elindo, I’m heading across the Amazon, can you wait for me until I get her to look at my papers and then maybe we can leave together? I can show you the way.’ Ruxted offered.
Elindo was glad Ruxted had offered to help him, it was the first time he had a friend since he crashed his space ship.