"Mav." I try to stop him, hating to hear how bad things had been for him.
"Gotta get it all out, Leigh."
I nod, taking the few steps toward him to grab his hand.
"I knew two things in that moment. My head hurt like a bitch, but I didn't feel a thing when I thought about this field. About you. I dropped my food in the trash and slammed the door behind me, tearin' ass out of there without even speakin' a word. Something inside me had to get here. I just had to. Couldn't explain it to you if I tried."
"I remember that day." I'd noticed him wincing in pain a few times but hadn't wanted to bring it up, worried about breaking the spell of him just being with me. "You were so mad."
"Yeah." He grunts. "I was until I got here and you were just runnin' around lookin' up at the sky with the biggest fuckin' smile on your face. Your hair was a lot longer back then and I swear to God you looked like a fuckin' angel with it dancin' behind you. I might have been mad, but when you stopped and gave me that smile, the rage racin' through me just vanished."
I think back to that moment, the same one that began our weeks of sporadic meet-ups in the same spot. He always looked like an enraged bull when he would ride up on one of their four-wheelers, but the second he sat his butt in the dirt, it was almost as if a calm had taken over him.
"I can even tell you how many times I came back to this very spot," he tells me, looking away from me to point behind his shoulder. When his eyes meet mine again, they don't look nearly as troubled as they did minutes before. "Come on." I get a small smile before he guides me a few feet behind him.
He looks around for a second before he drops to the ground, pulling me down with him. We sit, much like we used to, with the wildflowers surrounding us. I don't wait for him to speak; instead I drop to my back, look up into the sky, and let the years fall away from us. He clears his throat and I feel him moving to lay next to me, placing his hat on the ground next to him before taking my hand in his. I don't take my eyes off of the clouds. Even back then, I didn't take my eyes off of the clouds. Part of me always thought that if I did, he wouldn't keep talking.
"This was the first time I ever told anyone about ridin'. The first time I vowed, out loud, to leave this town and be the best damn rider the rodeo had ever seen. You didn't say a thing, but when I said I would be leavin', you held my hand so tight I almost checked to see if it was broken. Each time we came out here, you would change. You started lookin' at me differently. I think I knew, even then, that you would have done just about anythin' to help me make my words a reality. You never said anythin', just let me get it all out, but I could see it in your eyes. If I would have asked, you would have left this town with me. And you wanted me to ask."
I blink wildly to keep the tears from escaping at his words.
"Just started middle school, not even old enough to know what the hell you were thinkin' about, but still you would have done that."
"Yeah," I respond thickly.
"The last time I came out here, do you remember what you said to me?"
I shake my head, trying to recall the worlds of a love-drunk teenager.
"You said"--he pauses, and then looks over at me--"Maverick Davis, you're going to be the best rider in the whole entire world and I'm going to be there for every single ride yellin' for you so loud they'll hear me back home."
I have to close my eyes; the battle I had been winning with my tears is lost, and I feel them roll down my cheeks and into the dirt under me. "You didn't come back out here after that." My words sound just as pained as that teenage girl had felt when he never came back out to the wildflower field.
"I didn't. That was the day that I realized I had to do whatever it took to make sure you were able to find your own dreams and grow without me draggin' you down the dark path I was stuck on."
"You changed so much after that spring. That boy I knew was gone in just a blink of an eye."
He moves, and I turn my head to see him leaning up with his elbow on the ground, looking down at me with regret in his eyes. "It was one of the hardest things I ever did. I know now that I could have gone about things differently, but to a desperate kid, that was all I could see. No matter how much I wished differently, I couldn't tear you away from this place. Not when you loved it so much. I had to let you find yourself."
"Why did you bring me back out here?" I sniff, trying to rid my mind of those painful memories.
"Because even though this place eventually didn't hold the same feelings as it did at first, it still is a place that I look at fondly, knowin' how close we were at the time. I sat here and made plans for my future. I looked up at the sky while we were side by side, flowers all around us, and each word out of my mouth I used over the years as a promise I was unwilling to break."
The hand not holding his weight comes up. He brushes his fingertip across my forehead, moving some of the hair in its path. "It only seemed right that I bring you back to the same place I made all those grand plans years ago and give you new ones. New dreams for a future that, this time, we'll be buildin' together. Tell me, why did you sell this land to Clay?"
"What? I don't understand." His question makes my mind pause, still stuck thinking about his reasons for bringing us here.
"When you sold him your land, why didn't you keep this part of it?"
I sit up and his hand falls, the piece of hair he had been playing with landing in my eyes. I roughly swat at it and then turn my head to look down at where he's still lying. He holds my gaze, but moves to sit as well.
"You have to understand, while this place was always special for me because of you, it also held a lot of memories of my parents. In time, all it did was remind me of everything that I had lost. This is the first time I've been here in almost eight years."
"Why?"
I let out a puff of air. I feel another tear fall, but he reaches out and brushes it away before I can.
"When they died so suddenly, it felt like I had lost everything. One car accident and poof, they were gone. I had been taking classes online, working to get my business degree, with plans of helping Daddy around here. Of course, that all changed when they were gone. I wasn't really in a good place, but it was because of that loss that I was able to find my new path. During that time I realized being here, running the ranch and all, wasn't what I wanted. And to be honest, it was too painful to come out here and not only remember them . . . but you as well. I just couldn't hold on to it, but I also didn't want it to be gone. I knew Clay wouldn't sell it to anyone else. So, I guess, in my haste to forget, I got rid of all those memories at once."
"When did you open the PieHole?"
"A few years after they were gone. When I was in the kitchen, the smells of Mama all around me, I didn't feel so alone. It was my way to make new memories without having the pain of the old ones."
"So," he says, reaching out to grab the hand closer to him. "You sold it, but you did it in a way that you could still hold on to it?"
My smile wobbles, his words washing over me. "I guess I did. I didn't do it with that in mind, but when you put it that way, yeah . . . I guess so."
"I'm glad that Clay made sure this wasn't lost. I know your parents meant a whole lot to you, Leigh. I'm sorry I wasn't here to help you through their loss."
I shake my head. "It was a long time ago, Maverick. Don't carry that on your shoulders."
"It was, but I know you don't miss them any less because that time has passed."
He squeezes my hand and looks from my face to the land around us. I use the break in our heavy conversation to get ahold of my emotions.
"I talked to Clay for a long time yesterday. I realized that I've been tellin' y'all since I got back that I was here to stay, but I hadn't done shit to make y'all see that. I knew he had this land, he told me when he bought it, but it wasn't until yesterday that I realized he did that to help me just as much as you."
"How do you figure?"
"He made sure you didn't leave. I think he knew that our time
was going to come and he did what he could to keep you here . . . while I made my way back to you."
"I think you're reachin'," I tell him smartly.
"Nah, darlin', it all makes sense now. You'll see. Tell me, where do you see us in a few years?"
Well, if that isn't a loaded question. "Honestly, I haven't let myself think that far in advance, Mav. I'm still wrappin' my head around the fact that you're back in my life--in the way I've always wanted you to be."
This time his smile doesn't hold the heavy sadness that our chat had created. His eyes dance. "Why don't you let me help paint that picture for you?"
"Give it your best shot, cowboy."
"I asked Clay to let me buy this land from him," he lets out in a rush of words.
My eyes widen. Of all the things I thought he would say, that definitely wasn't one of them.
"I know that ridin' like I did isn't somethin' I can do anymore, but the rodeo is in my blood, Leigh. When I was forced to sit back and look at my life now that ridin' was gone, I knew I couldn't give it up completely. My hope is that, with your blessin', I'll be able to keep that part of my life, but this time I'll be doin' it with you by my side, sharin' this new part of my life, every step of the way."
"I'm really not following you, Maverick." And I'm not. I have no idea what he's talking about. "What does buying this land from Clay help?"
"I want to start instructin'." His words are so full of pride and excitement that I can't help but feel the same buzz tingle over my skin.
"Instructing what?"
"It will take awhile, but eventually I plan on openin' up a school of sorts. I want young men to have a place to learn when they've got big dreams and even bigger talent, but no way of makin' them a reality. I talked to Clay about it and even though he's hesitant, I know he can see the same vision that I do. So this is me, puttin' down roots that will never be unearthed, but doin' it in the only place I ever felt like I could truly call home."
I look around, seeing in my mind the land around us. There is so much property that I have a hard time seeing exactly what he does in his head. "Right here?" I ask, pointing to the area around us.
"Not here. This is our place and I won't give that to anyone else. On the other side of the land you kept, there's almost two hundred acres. I would buy it all back from him, but this part would be untouched. The rest will eventually be a training camp of sorts. Intimate with low enrollment. I'll have some dorm-type housing built around the main training areas for the folks I'll hire and those that enroll. They'll be able to learn it all, different areas built for each field offered and a personal trainer for each. The biggest planned for the buckin' bulls to be kept for riders to train."
"You want to build an arena?"
He laughs. "Not quite as big as you're used to watchin' me ride, but to those ridin', it damn sure will feel like it."
"What about you?"
"What do you mean?"
"In all of those plans, where will you call home?"
His chest rises as he pulls in a deep breath. "The long answer, I'll have somethin' temporary out on that land while it's being built. The short answer, wherever you are."
I'm at a complete loss for words, and it shows. "Wow," I finally say. "This is a lot to take in."
He laughs softly. "Yeah, it is. I want you to know, none of this will happen without your blessin'. Either way, I'm not goin' anywhere. If you don't want this on the land that your daddy used to work, just say the word. I'll look somewhere else in Pine Oak, but no matter what, it's happenin' in this town. Steel roots, darlin'. I'm not goin' anywhere except wherever you go with me."
"Here," I whisper. I close my eyes, trying my best to see what he's explained, but the only thing I can see is him, smiling up at me while he builds his new dream. "You belong here, Maverick. I know Daddy would agree with me if he was still here, but I couldn't think of anyone else I would rather bring life to this place again. Build your dream, honey." The rush of utter certainty fills my body. I know without a single doubt in my mind that this man is meant to be mine, and with the same conviction, I know he feels it too. His words and actions proving to me that his heart is in this just as much as mine is.
He moves quickly. His hands coming up to pull me to him. Our mouths connecting. "Our dreams, darlin'. Ours." With those words, whispered against my lips, we sit in the same field where old dreams were once talked about, and make new ones.
21
MAVERICK
"H.O.L.Y." by Florida Georgia Line
"Come on then, cowboy. Show me where these new dreams of ours are going to be."
For the first time since we drove away from her house, I feel the nerves disappear. I've worked myself up so much for this talk with her that I had been close to puking before I could even get the words out. But I shouldn't have worried, not with Leigh. This girl might need to analyze most of the shit in her life, but just like it used to be between us, she's never needed much to follow me with her whole heart.
And I'm going to make damn sure she doesn't regret placing that kind of trust in my hands.
I stand, grabbing my hat off the ground on my way up, and dust the damp dirt off my ass. I should have thought this through a little better. It had rained yesterday, a lot, not only giving us some great mud on the trails--but since I didn't bring a blanket to sit on, our asses are now dirty and wet. Not that Leigh minds, though. She stands, looks behind her, and giggles.
The sound goes straight to my crotch. With her attention not on me, I grab the uncomfortable thickness and adjust myself quickly, not taking my eyes off her ass. When I look up from the wet spot our sitting made on her jeans and meet her gaze, I know she caught me, though.
"Need some help?" she asks with a wink.
"Not yet."
She rolls her eyes, but holds her hand out for mine. I take it and let her lead me back to the truck. Once she's settled in, I walk quickly to the driver's side and climb up.
"I'm gonna head over and grab one of the four-wheelers from Clay. Do you want to come, or do you want me to pick you up after?"
She smiles, wide and toothy. "I'm with you, cowboy. Lead the way."
The engine turns over with a loud roar and I drive us back through the muddy trail, making sure to hit each deep rut on the way. The sounds of her excited squeals make my face hurt from smiling so damn much.
Fuck, this girl.
When we pull off the road and onto the drive that will take us up to the main house, I don't feel even an ounce of the normal trepidation that I used to. I don't feel the clawing need to be anywhere but here. Not with her by my side. With that in mind, I reach over and grab her hand. She looks over from where she had been looking out her window and gives me a big smile.
"You still don't like being here?" she asks, knowing without words that this isn't a place I enjoy being.
"It's not so bad when you're with me."
What crosses over her expression is nothing short of rapture. She loves knowing that her presence calms me and isn't afraid to show that to me.
"And when I'm not?"
"I hate every second of it."
She clears her throat and I look away from the drive and at her profile. Her lips are rolled together, and that little space between her brows is wrinkled.
"What is it?"
"I was thinking, now that I understand why you don't like being here and all, why don't you stay at my place? You could stay in the guest room if you wanted your own space, but at least you wouldn't be here."
Her last word comes out harsh, like she is seeing this place through my eyes and can't stand the thought of being here any more than I can.
"Darlin', if I'm at your house, I'm not going to be in a damn guest room."
"Oh." She gasps. "Well, that's fine too . . . I mean, if you don't need your space and all."
"The last thing I want from you is space, Leighton, but you're askin' me to move into your house. That's not somethin' that should be offered without really thinkin' abou
t it."
"I don't want you here," she venomously shoots back. "I want you with me."
"One day at a time, sweetheart. There isn't anything in that house that's mine except for a duffel bag I still haven't unpacked. We don't need to make any decisions like that right now." I say the words, but my chest tightens at the thought of her wanting me in her house. Not just because she knows why it's hard to be here, but also because she wants me with her.
She huffs and crosses her arms, the movement pushing her chest up. I lick my lips at the swells that are exposed from her low neckline. Why the hell did I say we wouldn't be fuckin'? Oh, yeah, because I had some grand idea that when we were there next time it would be because she gave me all of her.
Stupidest smart move I've ever made.
"You're in my bed tonight," she demands, her tone leaving no room for argument.
"Yes, ma'am," I quip.
"I mean it, Maverick. If you aren't in my bed, don't think I won't find a way to tie you up like I said I would. I. Don't. Want. You. Here. And I don't just mean tonight, cowboy."
God, she's beautiful when she's pissed. "Darlin', calm down. There isn't anywhere I would rather be. I'll be there tonight. We can talk about the rest later."
"Good. And you're bringing that duffel bag with you. It's time to unpack." One arched brow goes up, just daring me to argue with her.
I laugh, shaking my head with a smile, and jump down from the cab. I look up when I hear my name and give Clay a nod. I know he can't see into my truck, not with these black as hell window tints on them. I keep my eyes on him as I walk, waiting to see his reaction when Leigh gets out. His stoic expression watching my every movement.
"Where have you been?" he calls out right when I open her door.
"With me!" Leigh jumps out of the cab with a bounce, waving to Clay.
Clay doesn't even have a chance to react before a flash of black hair and pink clothing is knocking him over in a rush to exit the house. "Shut the hell up, you hooch! You better get to talkin' right this second!"
I don't look away from my brother, wanting to see with my eyes how he feels about Leigh being with me. I know what he said yesterday, but something inside of me needs to know that he is happy with us together. By the time Quinn is about to reach Leigh, he has a big grin on his face. I get one nod before he stomps off the porch and heads toward us.