~~~~~
I thought about telling Dane everything paranormal that had been going on in my life. It would have been crazy for me to not consider it at one point, seeing as how I wanted to be the perfect girlfriend, but something strange happened the day I had resolved to make my confession. I had it all planned out – it would be after a Thursday practice, when I could spend all the time I wanted to dance and outlet any excess emotion that would prevent me from telling him in a rational way. I dove deep into myself that day, and found myself dancing some fiery duet with the version of me dressed in the flame dress.
Don’t tell him, she said.
Why not? I asked.
You can’t trust him.
We’ve been dating for a full month now. If he wasn’t trustworthy, don’t you think that would have shown in his personality?
Has he really never said anything that struck you as odd?
No! Never!
Then why are you talking to me?
I... just wanted some guidance. So that I would know what to say so that he doesn’t freak out.
Well, you came to the right person. And I’m telling you not to even so much as hint at this part of your life.
Who are you? Are you even actually a part of me?
She said nothing; just winked at me and then danced off into the black. When I snapped out of this trance I considered being defiant and telling Dane anyway, but I had this terrible sinking feeling about it and had to admit to myself that there was probably good reason the inner me in the fiery dress gave me such stern caution.
I had deep feelings for Dane, but as I finished my dance I found myself craving more free time. My days had evolved into: go to school, go to dance practice, stay a few extra minutes to dance for myself, then either spend the afternoon with Nobuko or, more often, Dane, oftentimes eating dinner with one of them. While I appreciated my dad’s efforts to maintain the tradition of family dinner, he was making dinner later and later, and since eating with my family was more often than not a sordid affair any more, I had no desire to be home. I’d come home in the late evening, do my homework, and go to bed. I wasn’t reading or watching movies any more, and I realized that I missed it.
So that afternoon after I almost made my confession to Dane I told him that I was feeling rather tired and needed a quiet afternoon to myself. He seemed a little disappointed, but told me that he didn’t mind, since had probably been neglecting some of his hobbies lately as well, and that he’d drop me off wherever I wanted to go. I had him take me home, but as soon as he was out of sight I asked dad if I could borrow one of the family’s cars and drive to the city library.
The library wasn’t very large, but it was quiet and had lots of nooks and crannies where I could take a big stack of books and just sit for a while.
I hadn’t read any fiction in a long time, and had no desire to. Teen novels about fitting in at High School seemed shallow, while science fiction and fantasy novels started turning into horror stories for me as I wondered if each of these authors wrote from experience or if they truly made up something unique. Instead I wanted to know more about wardcarvers. I had tried looking it up on the internet, of course, but the search engine insisted I look for a person named “Ward Carver" instead.
The library almost didn’t have anything about wardcarvers at all. I looked through mythology books from many different cultures, some filled with fairy tales, some with historical backgrounds to each culture, and some with both. The word ‘wardcarver’ was never mentioned, but I finally found a nearly accurate description in, of all places, a book about the history of witchcraft. Most of the book was garbage, talking about how certain gemstones brought a certain aura to you if you wore it in a necklace made in a lilac field at dawn or other vain rituals like that, but there was a small chapter about charms.
Charms were made by tying knots and beads together in different patterns. Depending on the type of knot or how many beads there were, the charm would be stronger or have different functions. Those with the “gift” could forgo tying the knots and beads in patterns altogether and could carve the shape of the charm into metal or wood instead. The chapter then went on describing the different charms that the reader could make on their own, though cautioned against trying to draw any charms on their own unless they knew they had the “gift”. The book also made a very big deal about how this was different than witch crafting symbols, which were carved onto candles and bark and burned during rituals, though carving witch crafting symbols also required a certain talent. From there it went on to a very big chapter of different rituals often performed, and didn’t really talk much again about symbols.
I looked out the window and saw that twilight was beginning to fall. I decided I needed to get home before it was dark for too long, especially since I was by myself. The route home took me by the school, which wouldn’t have been very remarkable, except that there was a fire running through the middle of the parking lot.
When I say “running,” I don’t mean that there was a line of fire that was following some preset path. There was a large cat-looking monster that was on fire and running through the parking lot.
I pulled the car over and got out to see what was going on. I panicked and started running towards the creature, hoping that it wouldn’t hurt anyone or raise suspicion. Before I got too close to it, though, it suddenly stopped and fell back, as though it had hit an invisible wall or had reached the end of a leash. I stopped and watched as it continued to run in several directions, hitting this barrier after a certain distance. I glanced around, wondering if there was anyone close by that was somehow associated with this creature.
It caught notice of me and started running in my direction. I took a few steps back, but it soon hit that invisible wall again a safe distance from me. It prowled back and forth just right behind this area, watching me carefully.
I started walking toward it cautiously. It bristled and hissed at me, and as I got closer I noticed that it was only cat-like from a distance. It was on fire, but underneath the flames I could see a body that was made of clay. It was scaly, like a lizard’s skin. It also had two tails instead of one, and its ears were way too long and lay horizontally on its head instead of vertically. It hissed at me again when I got within a few feet of it, and its tongue was snake-like. It was like nothing I’d ever even imagined before.
I took another step towards it, and suddenly it calmed down. It sat on its haunches and looked at me curiously.
“What are you?” I whispered.
“I serve.” It replied.
I let out a little shriek and jumped back. “You talk!” I stammered.
“Can I serve you?” It asked and tilted its head to the side. Its voice was high-pitched and cracked, as though it was new to talking.
I stepped towards it again cautiously. “What do you mean, serve me?”
“I was summoned. Did you summon me? I like you. You look warm.”
“No, I didn’t summon you… what are you, exactly?”
“I am… I am… I do not know what I am!” it howled, causing the flames on its back to flare up. When it wailed it was a very loud, high-pitched shrieking noise. I looked around, hoping no one could hear. There were a couple houses across the street, and I prayed to whoever would listen that they couldn’t hear or that they weren’t watching.
“Shh, shh,” I tried to calm the beast down. “It’s okay. I can help you figure this out.” It stopped wailing. “Okay. Good. Where did you come from?”
“I was home… it was nice… and then I was pulled out of home and into a lump of earth, and trapped here. Why can’t I leave? Did you bring me here?”
“No, no. That wasn’t me. Where is your home?”
It lay down on the ground and rested its chin on its paws. “I don’t remember. What is my name? Master, do I have a name? Why can’t I remember?!” It started wailing again.
“No no no n
o no! Shh!” I tried to calm it down. It continued wailing anyway, and kept glancing to the houses across the street. Was that a curtain I saw move? Oh, I hoped not.
Suddenly the creature stopped wailing and twitched its ears. “Something is coming! Something bad no good no bad! No, don’t make me leave! Don’t kill me!”
I tried to calm the creature down again, but it wasn’t paying attention to me anymore. It seemed to be talking to something or someone else, and got up and started pacing again. It kept ranting like this, and I considered just leaving, but by now I was sure that someone had seen me.
Sure enough, a few seconds later I could see a cop car with its lights going coming down the street. The creature stopped and gave one final, painful howl before it suddenly extinguished. I approached it curiously and studied it as much as I could before the cops walked up to me and asked, “What’s going on here?”
“Officers, there was a fire here and I was trying to put it out, but…”
“You were trying to put it out? We got several calls saying that you were burning a live cat here.” I glanced over at the houses, and I could see several people standing at their open front door or looking out the front window out of curiosity. I wondered how many of them had been the ones to put a call in.
“What? A live cat? No! I mean, look, it’s just a pile of clay. I saw it rolling across the parking lot and tried to put it out.”
“Everyone that called said they saw you fanning and blowing on the flames.”
“No! It looked really small and I thought I could blow it out, but it just didn’t work at first. It’s out now, though!”
“Do you have a cell phone?”
“Yeah.”
“Why didn’t you call the fire department?”
Oh. Crap. The officer was pulling out his handcuffs even then. “Listen, it’s a really, really bad misunderstanding. I know it sounds crazy, but–”
The officer had already taken my hands and cuffed them together, though. “I appreciate you not resisting, but there was still a fire on school grounds that, so far, you’re the only one connected to. You can call a parent once we reach the station and you can explain it then.”
I rode in the back of the car, miserable. What on earth had just happened? I knew what I saw, but there was no way I could describe it to the police officers and still sound like a sane person. Once we got to the station I had to sit in an office for an officer to question me while we were waiting for my dad. I stuck to my original story as best I could, but it really wasn’t convincing anyone. First of all, it’s really hard to set clay on fire, and secondly, no one believed me that it really was a small enough fire that I was trying to put out by blowing on it, especially since it was large enough that people across the street could see it. I was an average student with no higher academic pursuits whose mother had suddenly left, which meant that they had no reason not so suspect me for arson. It wasn’t uncommon for acts of vandalism in cases like this, they explained to me, but normally it’s limited to graffiti. Arson is a much more serious charge since it could lead to serious property damage and people getting hurt.
They also tried to get me to tell them what the awful shrieking sound came from, since even the dispatcher could hear it on the other end of the line when she received the calls from the neighborhood. I told them that I had no idea what the sound was coming from, which was technically true; I had no idea what that creature was that I had talked to.
This continued on for a good twenty minutes, until my dad was allowed to come in and get me. He was furious when he was let in to the office.
“How dare you arrest a minor for something like this! And how dare you prevent me from seeing her! I was waiting for ten minutes before the woman at the front said she’d let me in! What kind of a place are you running here?”
“Sir, I would appreciate it if you could–”
“No, no, don’t you dare try to calm me down. You arrested my daughter because she happened to be around a fire in an empty parking lot?”
“We have eyewitnesses that say–”
“Did they actually see her start the fire? Yeah, that’s what I thought. Unless you can prove that she started it, we’re leaving. I can guarantee that this only happened because this is a small town and you think you have nothing better to do. I can guarantee that nothing like this would happen if we were in Denver. You drop any charges you have even thought about bringing against her, or I will sue.”
The officer narrowed his eyes and glared at dad with his jaw set for almost a full minute. “You make sure your daughter stays in line. She will not get off so easily if this happens again,” he finally said, and called another officer in to escort us out of the building.
We got in the car and sat in silence for several minutes. I could feel my dad seething in rage.
“Dad? I–”
“I can’t believe you would go starting fires like that. Your mother and I very explicitly told you that starting fires like that would be a slippery slope. You betrayed our trust and advice and went ahead and acted on your own stupid impulses!” He was shouting at me.
I huddled against the door, scared of him. There was something about the way that he was angry that was more than just being upset at his kid for doing something stupid. It was almost hateful, and it frightened me.
“It was a creature. I don’t know what it was, but it was a creature that talked to me, and–”
“No. I’m not going to accept any excuse for this! You need to take responsibility for what you’ve done. I’m willing to save you from the police, but that is only because I will not compromise the safety of this family!” He started the car angrily and peeled out of the parking lot.
I silently shook the whole way home, trying my hardest not to cry. I don’t know what hurt more – that he didn’t listen to me, his shouting, or that he didn’t trust me enough to hear my side of the story. I tried to tell myself that he wasn’t himself lately, but that was no comfort. Even with whatever was going on, he shouldn’t have yelled at me.
As we pulled in to the house he said, “You’re grounded until after winter break. I will be dropping you off at school and picking you up afterwards. No friends, no phone, no going out on your own.”
“But–”
“No. No excuses. For the next four weeks you need to show me you can be a responsible person. If you’re good and you can keep control of yourself, then you can be on your own. Sometimes.”
I bit my tongue, not wanting to provoke him further. I went straight up to my room without another word to him and went straight to bed in the clothes I was in, not caring about eating dinner or how early it still was.