Chapter 4
Liberty, when it begins to take root, is a plant of rapid growth.
-George Washington (1732-1799)
“I think I need another shower as well,” mumbled Pete, as Jake closed the en-suite door.
“You handled that curve ball he tossed pretty well,” ventured Zac, as he roughly unpacked his suitcase into the provided wardrobe.
“You mean you handled it well. I just ducked the ball.”
“That’s why we’re a team. So we can look after each other’s backs.”
Zac dropped his towel and climbed into his jocks. Pete looked away. Fragile. Zac buttoned up his jeans and sank down on the bed next to Pete.
“Hey Pete. I know what Jake said earlier hit a raw nerve. I felt it in your whole body... Discussing sexual preferences is harder for some men than others. You can resolve it alone or we can talk it through. Your choice.”
Maybe the having-a-big-brother-to-talk-to idea isn’t so hot after all.
“I know I got aroused when you were massaging me Zac but I’m not gay! You’ve got to believe me!”
“Hey Pete. Un-stress. I believe you. You’ve been on the Australian team for three years now and I’ve never felt uncomfortable around you. And I still don’t.”
“But you must be wondering about me by now... Brendan’s living defacto back in Sydney. Dale’s got a girlfriend in Adelaide. But I’m still single and without prospects. And living with my mother.”
“Which makes you gay?”
“Or somethin’.”
“Every now and then I meet a woman that I could fall head over heels in love with. And I’ve enjoyed the company of other women that I just click with. I’ve snuggled up and admired the stars with them on cold nights. Had heaps of relaxed fun with them in meadows full of wildflowers. Fallen asleep near one or two around campfires. But I’ve never had sex with any of them... In fact I’ve never even been on a date before.”
“You’ve never kissed a woman?”
“Not on the lips.”
“That’s different.”
“Actually it’s a reflection of my belief system. I was brought up with abstinence until marriage values and I intend to abstain from sex until I’m married. Coming back to you though, let’s use the same criteria on me that you’re using on yourself. I’m not living defacto and I don’t have a girlfriend, so am I gay?”
“’Course you aren’t. You’re straighter than straight Zac.”
“Are you sure? Did you check if I had a lump under my towel when you were massaging me?”
“Course I didn’t.”
“Which tells me you aren’t gay. If you were, you would have checked me out in that department. Question: Is Pete gay? Observation: No gay behaviour towards towel-clad Professor when massaging him. Conclusion: Pete isn’t gay.”
Pete risked eye contact with Zac.
“Question - Is Pete gay? Observation - Pete gets a lump in his pants after being massaged by towel-clad Professor. Conclusion?”
“Pete is highly sensitive to touch. Like I told Jake.”
A pained expression.
“I think I like it better when we debate the origins of life. Those conversations with you aren’t embarrassing like this one!”
Zac laughed warmly.
“Fair enough. Let’s make this conversation safer. You believe you evolved out of slime and that time and chance are responsible for your beautiful sexy feelings. I believe God designed people, so that when they’re at their peak mating age a simple brush of a hand is enough to trigger arousal. Either way, by chance or design, hair-triggered arousal’s normal at your age Pete.”
“Zac - if I ask you something, will you promise not to tell Brendan or Dale?”
“I’ll do my best not to let slip.”
“You know how you were telling Jake about testosterone levels... Do you know much about them?”
“Well I know they’re on the decrease in the majority of Western men... Sixty years ago men’s mean testosterone levels hovered around 1000 ng/dl across the board. Nowadays the mean’s dropped down around the 500 ng/dl mark with a sharp decline after thirty-five.”
“Why?”
“There are a few theories. Hormones in processed food and takeaway food is one possible reason. Another possible explanation is, back sixty years ago when the word teenager didn’t exist, the majority of men over twelve spent most of their day doing physically demanding tasks. Whereas these days most young men are sedentary.”
“How about the reliability of blood serum tests?”
“So so. Momentary stress... the time of day they’re taken... even the person taking them can alter the level in a sample.”
“Either direction?”
“Yep.”
Pete chewed on his thumbnail.
“You know Pete ... Manhood’s more than a ng/dl number on a pathology report... Why don’t you stop stewing about those results and just enjoy being you?”
“You know about the results?” gasped Pete.
“Your mother rang me up and informed me.”
“She did what? I’ll kill her!”
“Settle down Pete. It might raise your testosterone levels even higher!”
Pete slowly unclenched his fists.
“She’s so interfering now Dad’s got Alzheimer’s.”
“I think it’s more of a case that she’s not sure how to guide you into manhood now your Dad’s got Alzheimer’s. Did you know that after she dropped you off at the airport the other day, she sat down at your computer?”
“She’s been on my computer?!”
“You sound worried... Got something on there you don’t want her to see?”
“My screensaver... Are you sure she’s been on my computer though? She’s never even turned on a computer.”
“Update Pete. Your 70 year old computer-illiterate mother taught herself to use Google the other day.”
“What did she Google?” asked Pete suspiciously.
“Apparently she typed the words testosterone levels above 1200 ng/dl into the search box.”
“Fu... far out!”
Zac’s eyes sparkled with amusement.
“Unfortunately her first ever Google search brought up the website of a male stripper club, which bragged that all their staff had testosterone levels above 1200 ng/dl!”
Pete ran his hand through his hair.
“And then she clicked on some pseudo-medical site which said that testosterone levels above 1200 ng/dl are found in terrorists and cross dressers. Armed with her new insight into testosterone levels, she rang me. She said that she was worried that working on assignments with me might turn you into a killer criminal or a gay. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that by her criteria we’re both potential killer criminals and gays - more so me, because I’m older than you and my testosterone’s still hovering around the 1200 ng/dl mark!”
“Gosh, I’m sunk if my screensaver comes on...”
“Why?”
“It was me mate’s buck’s party and we were pissed and we... Never mind. You might give me a Jesus lecture if I tell you. Fill in the rest yourself...”
Zac doubled over in laughter.
“Crumbs Zac... What am I gonna do? If she’s surfed the net once, she’ll do it again...”
“Kid safe settings?” suggested Zac, tongue in cheek.
“Shut up... You know what I mean... Do you know how to over-ride a ‘no remote access’ setting and change the screen-saver?”
“No. But if it can be done, Jake will know how to do it... Ask him later.”
Pete looked towards the door as Brendan’s laughter drifted through. Zac picked up his desire to end the conversation.
“Hey Pete. Tonight’s pre-amble was designed to get Jake out of neutral and into first gear, but if you’ve learnt some things about yourself as well from the warm-up, that’s great!”
“That was the warm-up to tonight’s session? You’re seriously not thinking of doing that to Brendan and Dale as well?!”
&nb
sp; “We’re all doing more of the same... You included.”
“Gross! Since when do we do touchy-feely stuff when we’re away with you? What happened to lighting up our farts around a campfire?”
“Hmmm... Sounds like Protesting Pete has rebounded back. Oh well... Deep and Meaningful Pete was fun while he lasted...”
Pete took a feigned swipe at Zac. Zac ducked easily.
“Hey Pete. This assignment’s shaping up to being one of the tougher ones seasoned with a lot of unknowns and complicating factors. One of them rocked up a couple of hours ago. She’s attractive, sensual and has the potential to cause conflict within our team. And I don’t want any of you distracted by her.”
“She’s hot Zac! How can anyone not be distracted by her?”
“Forewarned is fore-planned. After tonight, I hope we’ll all be embarrassingly aware of how vulnerable we are around her. At least that’s my planned strategy for coping with the signals Maya’s been sending out since she arrived...”
Ω
Zac and Pete walked out into the lounge area trailed by Jake. Maya was stretched out on the lounge looking comfortable and indolent. Brendan and Dale were sitting either side of her competing with each other for her attention.
“Okay you two. Eyes off our pretty distraction and onto me.”
Brendan glanced at Zac.
“Since when have you thrown the rule-book at us about women?”