Epilogue
Instead of returning to work after my doctor visit, I called Liam and asked him to meet me at a coffee shop on the corner.
“Is something wrong?” he asked, his voice already starting to shake with anxiety.
“Just come. I need to talk to you,” I said, and hung up.
He parked in front of the shop less than ten minutes later and hurried to my table on the patio.
“You want a coffee?”
“No, what’s wrong?” he asked, and waved the waiter off.
“I have not been completely honest about my family,” I began. It was odd, but whenever I lied about my family, created these fictions, I saw Daddy and Ava smiling. After all, I was confirming what they had predicted, the difficulty that I would always have after I left them.
“What do you mean?”
“I was afraid of scaring you off once I told you.”
He sat back, smiling now. “There’s nothing you can tell me, Lorelei, that would scare me off of you. Forget it. Just say it and get it over with. We’ve got things to do. It’s a busy day.”
I nearly smiled, too. Why don’t I tell him all of it? I thought. Could any man’s love for a woman be strong enough to withstand such truth?
“There have been some abnormalities on my mother’s side.”
“Abnormalities? Like what?”
“My mother had a younger sister with Down syndrome. She died about ten years ago. Supposedly, there were two cousins on her father’s side who had similar problems.”
He nodded, his face tightening as his eyes darkened. “I see.”
“We have to go forward and have a CVS test done. Since there are some possible gender chromosome problems, we’ll know the sex of our baby.”
“Oh, that’s not really something that would bother me. I just wanted to keep the surprise, but in this case, of course. When are you doing this?”
“I’d like to do it immediately, now. I’m far enough along.”
“Okay.” He reached for my hand. “We’ll get through whatever it is, Lorelei, and I don’t blame you one bit for keeping your secret. In fact, it tells me how much you love me, how much you wanted to be sure we would be together.”
Oh, Liam, I thought, you are a hopeless romantic after all. You have been so misjudged, but not by me. But what would you be like if you knew the truth and if you knew what bargain I had made with my father? Looking into Liam’s trusting and loving eyes now made me despise my father more than I had thought possible. Look at the situation in which he had placed me. He had never really agreed to let me go. He had let me have this fling with a normal life, which would ironically bring me more pain than a long life with him and my sisters.
I returned to work with Liam, and two days later, he and I went into my doctor’s office to have the diagnostic procedure. She removed some chorionic villus cells from my placenta at the point where it attached to the uterine wall. Using an ultrasound guide, she moved a thin catheter through my cervix to my placenta and, as she described it, gently suctioned the CV cells into a catheter.
“I’m putting a rush on it,” she told us. “I’ll call you as soon as I have the results.”
Liam did his best to fill my every waking hour with something to distract me and to distract himself just as much, although he put on a good act pretending to be cool about it all. Every once in a while, he would repeat, “We’ll deal with it, whatever it is, and it won’t change us one bit.”
We decided not to tell anyone else. I wouldn’t tell Julia, and he wouldn’t tell his father especially.
“It’s our business now. Later, if we have to, we’ll have a family meeting about it,” he said. I knew he was thinking that if we had a genetically abnormal baby, we would seriously consider my aborting.
Sometimes during this waiting period, I almost wished that would be the result. What could Daddy do about that? It wasn’t my fault. Perhaps Liam and I would adopt. In a way I would have found an avenue of escape, wouldn’t I? Then I would feel terrible hoping for such a result. How selfish, I thought. I was certainly not considering Liam’s feelings, and I didn’t think I could survive the pity everyone would direct at me. I’d drown in it. In the end, it could very well destroy our marriage and send me back to my father and my sisters.
Maybe I wouldn’t do that, either. Maybe I would swim out in the ocean on a moonlit night and tread water for a few minutes before lifting my hands toward the sky and sinking into the dark, cool grip of death below.
It was Dr. Steffen’s receptionist who called me at the office to tell me that Liam and I should come to her office at four.
“Why didn’t she call me herself?” I demanded, my voice trembling.
“She’s delivering a baby.”
“Well, are there results?”
“I’m sorry. You’ll have to speak with the doctor,” she replied.
I thanked her, and then, shaking as I stood, I went down to Liam’s office. He was on the phone. He held up his hand while he finished his call quickly and then cradled the receiver, his face full of anticipation.
“Her secretary called. She’s delivering a baby. She wants us there at four.”
“Fine. Take it easy,” he said, coming around his desk. “Don’t read anything into anything yet. You want to go back to work, or do you want me—”
“No, no, I’ll work. I don’t want to think,” I said.
Every once in a while, I would get up and go to the window to look out at the street. I had a very strong feeling that Daddy was out there, waiting to hear the news and as anxious about it as I was. I didn’t see him, but that didn’t mean anything. I felt him.
The hours seemed to drag. I hated the hands of the clock for being so slow. Fortunately, Ken was out on a job, so he didn’t see how nervous I was. He would have been able to tell that something was seriously wrong. He could read me well by now.
At three thirty, Liam came for me. He tried to get me to talk, but I just shook my head. He held my hand as we walked out of the plant, and we drove in silence to the doctor’s office.
She had a patient before us, and unfortunately, that ran past four o’clock. Finally, we were told to go in. Liam kept his arm around my waist as if he anticipated that I might faint.
Dr. Steffen stood up as soon as we entered and smiled.
“Everything is looking very good,” she said. “There is nothing to worry us.”
“Oh, thank God,” Liam said.
“Do we have a girl or a boy?” I asked, barely above a whisper.
“You don’t have to know. There are no gender issues.”
“I want to know!” I said, so sharply that she lost her smile.
Liam loosened his grip around my waist. I glanced at him and saw the confusion. Then he smiled and nodded. “Yes, please, Dr. Steffen,” he said.
“You’re going to have a boy,” she said.
I didn’t know I was sinking until I felt Liam’s arm around my waist again, only tightening this time. He guided me quickly to a chair.
Dr. Steffen came rushing over. “What is it, Lorelei?” she asked.
“I just . . . the anticipation . . .”
“Yes, yes, understandable. I’m sorry you had to wait, but I would have called you immediately if there was bad news,” she said. “Just catch your breath. She’ll be fine,” she told Liam.
He looked concerned but also confused. “You were hoping for a girl. Is that it?” he asked.
I knew that if I didn’t bring my hand to my mouth, I would burst into a mad laugh. I swallowed it back and shook my head.
“Maybe the next time,” Dr. Steffen said.
“Sure,” Liam said.
Dr. Steffen brought me some water and then insisted on checking my blood pressure. “Just take her home to rest,” she told Liam.
“Will do. Thanks, Doc,” he said. “Well,” he said as we started out, “we have another good reason to celebrate. Why don’t we go to the Spenser House? I feel like their rack of lamb.”
r /> “Maybe, after a little rest,” I said.
“Sure.”
We drove to the mansion, and he helped me into bed.
“I’ll just head back to the office and finish up some things,” he told me. “I’ll let Mrs. Wakefield know that she should check up on you.”
“No, no. I’ll be fine, Liam.”
“Okay,” he said. He kissed me and left.
I was far more tired than I had imagined, and the moment I closed my eyes, I fell asleep. I think Mrs. Wakefield did stop by to check on me. I thought I opened my eyes for a moment and saw her standing there. Finally, I woke up. When I looked at the clock, I saw that it was nearly seven. Where was Liam? I rose, washed my face, and headed downstairs. Mrs. Wakefield was setting the table in the dining room.
“Oh, how are you, dear?” she asked.
“I’m okay. Where’s Liam?”
“He called about a half hour ago to say he would be tied up until seven thirty. There’s some sort of crisis on a job, and Mr. Dolan was unable to get there, so he went. He said to tell you that he’ll take you to the Spenser House tomorrow night. I’ve got dinner organized. Nothing to worry about.”
“Okay,” I said.
It all sounded harmless enough. It wasn’t the first time there was such an emergency since I started working at Dolan Plumbing Supply, and I was sure it wouldn’t be the last, but I couldn’t help being paranoid. Would I always be? Was that the lasting curse upon me for deserting my family, deserting Daddy?
I looked out the window and saw that it was becoming a night like the night I had imagined for my fatal escape into the ocean. The moon was full, the glow strong. I stepped out through the patio doors in the dining room and walked toward the front of the large house. From there, I could look off toward the tract of land Liam’s father had given us. We’d have just as good a view. I imagined the house, my bedroom, and even saw myself standing there and looking out toward the ocean. Won’t I be very happy?
I stood there dreaming about my future, raising my children, enjoying this family, all of us gathering in the mansion for holidays, Julia and Clifford having children of their own, Ken probably remarrying, all of the birthdays to come, anniversaries to celebrate. We’d have many good friends, too.
“It seems you have escaped,” I heard, and I turned around quickly to see him not come out of the shadows as much as become shaped by them. The darkness, despite the strong glow of the full moon, seemed impregnable, his coat of armor and his shield. He stepped closer toward me until he was only inches away. Would he wipe me off the face of the earth in one motion? He had brought me here; he could take me away.
“You know,” I said.
“Of course. I could see it in your face even if I didn’t know, Lorelei. I must say, I am surprised. I didn’t think Liam’s genetic contribution would overpower yours, or should I say mine. Maybe if any of my daughters wanted it as much as you do, it would also turn out this way for them. I don’t know. See? There are things I don’t know.”
“What will you do, Daddy?”
“Do? There’s nothing more for me to do here, Lorelei. I told you, warned you, that once you became pregnant with one of them, you would lose all of the protection you had. You’re as vulnerable to all of the dangers and pain this world gives them. You made your choice. I’ll miss you. I have missed you, but I have made you a promise, and I will keep it. Most likely, we’ll never see each other again.
“I’m leaving with your sisters and Mrs. Fennel for Europe. It’s our time to return to Hungary. We have family there. Don’t worry. I’ll speak with Ken Dolan and explain that my business is taking me away. I’ll leave my return vague, and from time to time, I’ll send you a letter or a postcard.” He laughed. “Maybe even an e-mail. I really don’t like e-mail. I like the penmanship of a letter, something that you can keep pressed between the pages of a book.
“They don’t realize what they’re losing with all of this technology, Lorelei. Speed and instant gratification are no substitute for the deep experiences and lasting joy that once was, that I still have. You’ll feel that, too. I have a feeling you won’t forget the things I taught you. I think you’ll teach them to your children, especially your firstborn. I’m out of your life, but I’m not out of you.”
Then he kissed me on the cheek, stroked my hair, and gazed down at me with those electric eyes that were so full of love.
“Will I really be safe now, Daddy? Will my family be safe? I mean, from the evil we feared?”
“Yes. You have left the world we live in,” he said. “No one will sense you or notice you anymore. You can sleep in comfort. The truth is that you are no longer a threat to them. No Renegade, no other family, none of them.”
I closed my eyes and opened them again with a wonderful sense of relief washing over me. He saw it and shook his head.
“You’ll always be a mystery to me, Lorelei, but the truth is, I’m glad. If I didn’t still find things mysterious, I would lose my own thirst for life. So, thank you,” he said, laughing with his eyes.
He started away.
“Daddy!” I called.
He turned. “Yes?”
“Thank you,” I said.
He nodded and then returned to the darkness that waited for him.
I didn’t really see him leave, and sometimes, during the days, weeks, months, and years that followed, I felt as if he was still out there watching me, maybe waiting for me to return.
Everyone, even Daddy, could live in hope and dream of things that would never be.
Pocket Books Proudly Presents
Forbidden Sister
V.C. Andrews®
Available in paperback March 2013 from Pocket Books
Turn the page for a preview of Forbidden Sister . . .
Prologue
My mother wasn’t supposed to have me. She wasn’t supposed to get pregnant again.
Nearly nine years before I was born, she gave birth to my sister, Roxy. Her pregnancy with Roxy was very difficult, and when my mother’s water broke and she was rushed to the hospital, Roxy resisted coming into the world. My mother says she fought being born. An emergency cesarean was conducted, and my mother nearly died. She fell into a coma for almost three days, and after she regained consciousness, the first thing her doctor told her was never to get pregnant again.
When I first heard and understood this story, I immediately thought that I must have been an accident. Why else would they have had another child after so many years had passed? She and Papa surely had agreed with the doctor that it was dangerous for her to get pregnant again. Mama could see that thought and concern in my face whenever we talked about it, and she always assured me that I wasn’t a mistake.
“Your father wanted you even more than I did,” she told me, but just thinking about it made me wonder about children who are planned and those who are not. Do parents treat children they didn’t plan any differently from the way they treat the planned ones? Do they love them any less?
I know there are single mothers who give away their children immediately because they can’t manage them or they don’t want to begin a loving relationship they know will not last. Some don’t want to even set eyes on them. When their children find out they were given away, do they think about the fact that their mothers really didn’t want them to be born? How could they help but think about it? That certainly couldn’t be helpful to their self-confidence.
Despite my mother’s assurances, I couldn’t help wondering. If I weren’t planned, was my soul floating around somewhere minding its own business and then suddenly plucked out of a cloud of souls and ordered to get into my body as it was forming in Mama’s womb? Was birth an even bigger surprise for unplanned babies? Maybe that was what really happened in Roxy’s case. Maybe she wasn’t planned, and that was why she resisted.
Wondering about myself always led me to wonder about Roxy. What sort of a shock was it for her when she first heard she was going to have a sister, after having been an only child a
ll those years? She must have known Mama wasn’t supposed to have me. Did she feel very special because of that? Did she see herself as their precious golden child, the only one Mama and Papa could have? And then, when Mama told her about her new pregnancy, did Roxy pout and sulk, thinking she would have to share our parents’ attention and love? Share her throne? Was she worried that she would have to help take care of me and that it would cut into her fun time? Although I didn’t know how she felt about me for some time, from the little I remember about her, I had the impression that I was at least an inconvenience to her. Maybe my being born was the real reason Roxy became so rebellious.
My mother told me that my father believed her complications in giving birth to Roxy were God’s first warning about her. However, despite her difficult birth, there was nothing physically wrong with Roxy. She started out exceptionally beautiful and is to this day, but according to Mama, even when Roxy was an infant, she was headstrong and rebellious. She ate when she wanted to eat, no matter what my mother prepared for her or how she tried to get her to eat, and she slept when she wanted to sleep. Rocking her or singing to her didn’t work. My mother told me my father would get into a rage about it. Finally, he insisted she take Roxy to the doctor. She did, but the doctor concluded that there was absolutely nothing wrong with Roxy. My father ordered her to find another doctor. The result was the same.
Roxy’s tantrums continued until my mother finally gave in and slept when Roxy wanted to sleep. She even ate when Roxy wanted to eat, leaving my father to eat alone often.
“If I didn’t eat with her, she wouldn’t eat, or she would take hours to do so,” my mother said. “Your father thought she was being spiteful even when she was an infant.”
According to how my mother described all of this to me, Roxy’s tantrums spread to everything she did and everything that was done with her or for her. My father complained to my mother that he couldn’t pick Roxy up or kiss her unless she wanted him to do so at that moment. If he tried to do otherwise, she wailed and flailed about “like a fish out of water.” My mother didn’t disagree with that description. She said Roxy would even hold her breath and stiffen her body into stone until she got her way. Her face would turn pink and then crimson.