“Humans seem to have a very narrow field of what they deem possible.”
“Not all of us.”
He smiled. “I know.”
We stayed in the restaurant for a while longer, but then we left. The wind had died down some, but it was still bitingly cold, and when Navan picked me up to fly us back to the ship, I nestled against him.
When we got back, Navan said he was going to leave me at the ship to do a quick fly around over the area and make sure that it was safe.
“How will you know?” I asked. “I mean, if there are shifters around, couldn’t they be in the form of something you wouldn’t even suspect, like a bird or something? Or what if they’re invisible?”
“They could be,” he said. “But I should be able to sense them, and I’d sleep a lot better tonight if I at least look around before we turn in for the night. You’ll be fine here.”
“I’m not worried about that,” I said.
He smiled. “I’ve noticed.”
Though I knew he wasn’t going far, there was a part of me that wanted to jump into his arms before he took off, to go with him, to never leave his side. The feeling almost overwhelmed me, but I stayed in the ship and watched as his powerful wings beat back and forth, lifting him higher and higher into the sky. A shooting star arced across the darkness, and I blinked, marveling at the fact of everything that had happened in such a short period of time. Not too long ago, I’d been standing under the sweltering sun in the middle of a corn field with my two best friends, and now here I was, at the edge of the world, watching a coldblood that I was most certainly developing feelings for, fly off into the night sky.
An electronic ringing sound jolted me from my reverie, and I looked around, confused at first, until I realized it was Navan’s comm. I went over to his bag and picked it up. It continued to ring, and I pressed a button, bringing the device up to my ear.
“Hello? Hello, Navan, is that you?” came Bashrik’s voice.
“It’s Riley,” I said.
“Riley! Where’s Navan? Is everything all right? Why didn’t he pick up? Did something happen?!”
I suppressed a smile at the anxiety in his voice. “Everything’s fine,” I said. “Well, relatively speaking. Navan’s just checking out the area, so he’s not here right now. I know I probably shouldn’t have picked up, but I had a feeling it might be you, and I didn’t want you to worry.”
“Well, it’s a little late for that. We’ve all been worried sick, quite frankly. You don’t know my brother the way I do, and he can get himself into situations that are way beyond his control. I know Navan’s downplaying the whole thing but if you haven’t noticed yet, that’s sort of the way he goes about things. It’s not a big deal—until it is. And, I’m not trying to be an alarmist or anything—but this is a very big deal. And it’s just the two of you? It might be different if I was there but as it is, you two are both in a lot of danger. In fact—”
“Is that Riley?!” Angie’s voice came through loud and clear, almost as if she were right there in the ship with me. In a way, I wished she was. There was the sound of rustling. “Riley? Is that you?”
“Hey,” I said, smiling at the sound of her voice. “It’s good to hear your voice.”
“When are you coming back?” She sounded as anxious as Bashrik had. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, we’re okay,” I said. “And I’m not sure when we’ll be back. Hopefully soon. We’ve got to take care of something out here first. But we’re going to get back there as soon as we possibly can.”
“I can’t say that’s the most reassuring thing I’ve ever heard,” Angie said.
“I know. I’m sorry I can’t give you a better answer. But try not to worry, okay?”
“Okay. Lauren says hi. I’m going to give this thing back to Bashrik. Stay safe, Riley.”
“I will.”
Bashrik continued to grill me when he got back on, and though I tried to answer him as best I could, I knew my responses weren’t going to satisfy him; the only thing he really wanted to hear was that Navan and I had given things a second thought and were on our way back.
“You might have noticed he gets a little obsessed with things,” Bashrik said. “And by a little I mean a whole heck of a lot. He’s got this idea in his head that he’s somehow going to be able to protect Earth, like it’s his sole purpose in life.”
“He told me about your sister,” I said. “I’m sorry.”
Bashrik paused. “He did?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s . . . surprising. I didn’t think he’d ever bring that up with anyone outside the family.” He sighed. “Well, Naya would’ve been all for this little recon mission you two are on. And I know that plays a role in all the decisions he’s made, too. He thinks that he can somehow make it up to her, even though she’s dead. Like if he saves Earth, he’s somehow atoned for the fact that he couldn’t save her. Even though none of that was his fault.”
“He doesn’t think so.”
“Of course he doesn’t.” Bashrik sighed again, and when he spoke, his tone was softer, resigned. “Navan’s always been the biggest, strongest brother. The smartest, too. Some of the brothers resented him for it, though I never did. How could I? But that doesn’t mean Navan is immortal—not yet, anyway. Sometimes he acts like he is, but we both know that he’s not. I don’t want him to get himself killed. You’ve got to watch out for him, Riley. I know he’s going to be focused on keeping you safe, so maybe you can figure out a way to make sure that means he’s safe, too.”
“I’ll try,” I said, though what I really wanted to ask was how did he expect me to do that? I was just a human, after all—inferior in every way to a coldblood. But if there was something that I could do, some way that I could help, then of course I would try my best.
“Thank you,” Bashrik said. “Losing Naya was hard enough—I don’t know if I can deal with losing Navan, too.”
“We’ll be in touch soon,” I said.
Bashrik said goodbye, and I disconnected the call, placing the comm back into Navan’s bag. A gust of wind whipped the side of the ship, rattling something on the outside, and I shivered. I peeked out—there was no sign of Navan.
How long had I been on the call for? Didn’t he say he was just going to fly around and be right back? What if something had happened to him? I had no idea how to operate this ship to go after him. I’d be stuck out here, helpless.
My heart started to beat faster, and I took several deep breaths, telling myself I was getting carried away, that everything was probably fine, and I just needed to stay calm.
But several more minutes passed, and still Navan didn’t appear.
He should be back by now. Finally, I could no longer ignore the thought.
I climbed out of the ship and stood outside, looking up at the sky, doing my best to ignore the wind that whipped through my hair. It was so cold, and the darkness seemed to go on forever. Like there was nothing else out there.
“Navan?” I said, and it felt as if the wind snatched the word right out of my mouth and carried it away. I stumbled away from the ship. If I kept moving, that would at least get the blood flowing, and maybe I’d warm up a little, and at the same time, be able to find Navan. Maybe he was wrong about his ability to sense the shapeshifters, especially if they were invisible. What if they had ambushed him, or he was injured and couldn’t get back?
“Navan?!” I yelled, a note of fear tinging my voice. Aside from the wind, though, there was nothing.
I kept walking, until the vastness of where I was suddenly hit me, and I turned, realizing that I had gone farther than I thought. I couldn’t see the ship anymore, though I wasn’t sure if that was because it was dark or I’d gone too far. I stopped, paralyzed by both fear and the cold. It was stupid to have left the ship. I’d acted out of panic, and even though I knew acting out of panic was never a good thing to do, I hadn’t been able to help myself this time. The thought of that vampire being in trouble just see
med to have scrambled my brain.
I turned, hoping to follow my footprints back. But the snow was old and had a crust of ice over it, so there were no tracks. I could only hope that I was going in the right direction, though with no point of reference, I couldn’t be sure. I widened my eyes, then squinted, trying to make out anything in the darkness.
I had to force myself to start walking again; the cold had seeped into my bones and made my joints feel as if they no longer worked. I took as many steps as I thought I had taken away from the ship, but when I looked, all I saw was darkness. Somehow, I had gone the wrong way, and now who knew how far I was from where I wanted to be.
Needed to be. I gritted my teeth and forced myself to keep going, but I knew my situation was becoming dire. Hadn’t I just promised Bashrik that I would try to stay safe, that I would try to keep Navan safe? And now here I was, completely alone, lost in the freezing tundra. I would have been mad at myself, but I was too scared.
My foot slipped on the ice and I went down hard, the impact jarring every last bit of breath out of me. I lay there, unable to move, unable to get my breath back for a few terrifying seconds. But then my chest unlocked and I sucked in a cold mouthful of air, which burned my lungs and made my eyes water. I couldn’t stop shaking, but a heavy feeling suddenly overcame me, like I was more tired than I’d ever been in my entire life. I could barely keep my eyelids open.
My eyes had almost closed all the way when a surge of anxiety shot through me, and with that anxiety was a jolt of adrenaline. I tried to scramble up, knowing that if I let my eyes close now, I’d probably never open them again. But my limbs didn’t want to cooperate; it was like my brain was telling them one thing and they were doing the opposite. I flailed and thrashed and I couldn’t get my feet underneath me. I couldn’t get up.
I lay back, looking up at the dark sky. Another shooting star. Was that my imagination? Had I ever even seen a shooting star before tonight? And now I’d seen two? You were supposed to make a wish when you saw one, right? That heavy feeling returned, lurking like a stranger at the edge of my vision. All I could hope now was that Navan was okay, that nothing bad had happened to him, that he’d be able to continue the mission and be successful.
I let my eyes close.
The wind blew around me, and though I wasn’t sure what would happen next, I expected it to be something like falling, maybe a tunnel, my whole life flashing before my eyes. But there was just . . . the sensation of the cold, which felt as though it had worked its way into my blood, was coursing through my veins. Suddenly, though, there was the sensation of ascension, of being lifted somewhere, the wind rushing around my face. I struggled to open my eyes, half-expecting to look down and see my body still there on the ground, my spirit lifting off to who-knew-where, but instead, I saw an arm, wrapped around me, the ground getting further away.
“What the hell are you doing?” I felt Navan’s voice more than heard it, though the realization that he had found me, that I wasn’t going to die out here alone in the cold, gave me a burst of energy and I struggled to sit up. “Hold still,” he said. “Or you’re going to fall. What are you doing out here? I got back to the ship and you were gone!”
“I’m sorry,” I tried to say, though no sound really came out of my mouth. I started shivering uncontrollably and I tried to nestle myself against him as best I could. His grip tightened around me, and his voice was hoarse as he spoke.
“What if I hadn’t come back when I did? What if I wasn’t able to find you? You’d be dead right now, you do realize that, don’t you?!”
It seemed only seconds until we were back at the ship. Navan set me down gently and spread the sleeping bag out. He pulled my shoes off and then helped me lie down, wrapping the sleeping bag around me. My teeth continued to click, my whole body shaking. I tried to get it to stop by taking deep breaths, but I was just so cold. Being in the sleeping bag didn’t seem to make a bit of difference—it was like my body didn’t have enough heat left in it.
I opened my eyes when I heard Navan light the gas stove. I watched him for a moment, confused as to what he was up to. He had a pot on the stove and was melting down two of the candles. He dipped one hand, then the other, into the hot, melted wax. That must hurt.
I tried to sit up, but it felt like every ounce of strength had left me. “Wh-What are you doing?” I managed to ask, but my voice was barely more than a whisper and he didn’t seem to hear me. The wax hardened around his hands and he broke it off, dropping the pieces back into the pot. He turned the burner off, and then came over to where I lay. He positioned himself behind me, pulling me to him. His hands emanated heat from the hot wax, and my body immediately melded against his, warmth finally radiating into the sleeping bag, enveloping me in what might have been the most wonderful sensation I had ever felt. And though he didn’t have any heat of his own, outside of the candle wax, he seemed to absorb the heat that my own body was finally capable of generating, and the warmth swirled around us, making me feel as though we were both safely cocooned.
There wasn’t a need to say anything, though part of me wanted to thank him, not just for this small gesture to keep me warm or saving my life after I’d all but resigned myself to the fact that it was over, but for being open with me earlier about what had happened with his sister, for being willing to risk his life to save a planet that he didn’t even live on.
Chapter Twenty-Two
I wasn’t sure how long I slept for, but when I woke up, I was alone in the sleeping bag. It was still deliciously warm inside, and though I wondered where Navan was, I was in no rush to get up and face the cold again.
I let my eyes close and I dozed for a few minutes, before I heard a noise and then Navan was re-entering the ship. He had a brown paper bag, which he brought over to me when he saw that I was awake.
“It’s early,” he said. “Luckily, bakers start their morning before the sun even rises. I figured you’d be hungry after your little adventure last night.” He sat down next to me as I shifted in the sleeping bag and sat up, pulling the paper sack toward me. It was full of croissants, still warm.
“Oh my God, thank you,” I said. I might have filled up on dumplings the night before, but right now I felt as though I hadn’t eaten anything in weeks. I took three huge bites, reducing the first croissant to half, before looking at Navan. “I’m sorry,” I said, after I’d chewed and swallowed. “I wanted to apologize last night, but I wasn’t really able to get it out.”
“Right,” he said, scowling. “Because you had basically frozen to death. What the hell were you thinking? Why would you run off like that? I was on my way back and then I get here and you’re nowhere. That really freaked me out! What were you thinking?”
“I . . . I don’t know. I mean, I wasn’t trying to run away. I just realized that you’d been gone longer than I thought you were going to be gone for, and I started to get really worried. I didn’t know if maybe something bad had happened, or . . . I just wasn’t sure. I panicked and went out, but then I lost sight of the ship. I wasn’t planning to get lost, though. I was trying to . . . help.”
“While I appreciate the go-getter attitude, please don’t do something like that again,” Navan said. “Promise me you won’t.”
“I promise.” I took another bite of croissant and chewed slowly.
“In fact,” he continued, “for the rest of this ‘mission,’ you’re going to stay right in here.”
I stared at him. “What do you mean?”
“Exactly what I said. It’s safer if you’re in here—we’re not going to be heading to a warmer climate any time soon. You really shouldn’t have come here in the first place. It’s not the right climate for you, and if anything, it’s just going to be dangerous. Taking all that into consideration, it’s just best for everyone if you stay here.”
“You can’t just order me to stay in here. We’ve been over this, remember? Free will and all that? Besides, how is me staying here going to be helpful?”
“I
t’ll be helpful because I won’t be out there worrying about you. Trust me—that’ll be more than helpful. How am I supposed to pull this thing off if I’m thinking about you the whole time?”
“I take it that’s a rhetorical question.” Still, I couldn’t help but smile at the idea of him thinking about me all the time, and it sent a warm tingling feeling down the length of my spine.
“What?” he said, eyeing me. “Why are you smiling like that? Are you plotting your next near-death experience?”
“No,” I said, scowling. “You make it sound like I’m some sort of adrenaline junky.”
“Well . . . are you?”
“I don’t think so. I was just . . . I don’t know. I don’t want to say I was enjoying myself, because we’re in Siberia, hunting shapeshifters, but . . . there is a part of me that is kind of enjoying this.”
He grinned. “See? I told you—adrenaline junky.”
“But really, though, you can’t force me to stay in this ship the whole time. I want to help. I want to do something productive. I might not know exactly what that is, but I have a feeling it’s going to require me getting out of the ship at some point.” I grinned. “You never know—I might just end up saving your life.”
“You sure are stubborn.”
“I’m not trying to make things more difficult. But I’m here, so you can’t just force me to stay inside the whole time. I have free will, and I am choosing to be here and participate and help out in whatever way I can. And nothing you say is going to change that.”
Navan sighed. “Fine! Fine. I was studying some of the maps while you were sleeping. And it seems that there’s a bit of a pattern with the villages that the shifters are hitting.”
“There is?”
“Yeah. Enough so that I feel pretty good about going to this one—” Navan unfolded a map and pointed. “I think if we went here today, we’d probably be able to intercept at least one shifter. That’s my feeling anyway. It’s not too far from here, either, so it won’t take long to get there.”