Chapter Eleven
Morning sun shining through the windows. I was not sure how I was going to pull myself out of bed today. Then it dawned on me that I was starting a new job soon and I needed to be able to find a place to live. That was motivation enough to get out of the bed and get my day started.
Today was also the day that my car would be fixed. Small steps on the road to being more independent from Blake's assistance. I could eventually start feeling like I was back to doing this on my own.
Blake was in the garage, finishing the repairs on my car. When I heard her crank up, I was beyond ecstatic. I almost did a cartwheel right then and there.
"I take it you are happy to see your car is all fixed."
"So very happy." I raced over to touch her and sit inside the driver's seat.
Blake smiled. "Glad I could help."
"Oh my goodness. I'm sorry, Blake. I am so very thankful. For everything. I mean, I'm fortunate that I broke down where I did. You've been so good to me. I can't ever repay you."
Blake shook his head, wiping his hands on a rag. "Not looking for you to repay me."
He kept his gaze on me, making me the slightest bit nervous. I was not sure what I was supposed to say to him. He had done so much for me in such a short period of time. Here, I was with Jeff for years and I did not feel the same amount of desire and protection as I felt with Blake.
He gave the car a hearty pat on the hood. "She's all yours."
I stood there, trying to figure out what else to say. Blake was at a loss for words as well. He approached me slowly.
"You can stay a while you know?"
"What?"
"I mean, you don't have to feel like you have to rush out of here. You got the job, and now your car is fixed. I know you are looking for a place to stay. I have more than enough space at my house. That is, until you find your own space."
"Blake, that is a great offer, but I feel like I have already overstayed my welcome."
"You really haven't. I actually like having some company. Living in that big old house by myself is getting old."
I was squeezing my keys so tightly, I felt the metal start to break my skin. "Can I think about it? I mean, I appreciate the offer, but you know. This journey is all about me finding myself and I want to make sure I do the right thing."
Blake placed a gentle hand on my shoulder. "Please know that I don't feel like you are overstaying your welcome. It would be my pleasure to have you stay a while longer, Christy."
"Thank you, Blake." I did not know in that moment if he would kiss me, or if we were supposed to talk about what happened last night. This was the first time we laid eyes on each other since coming home last night. Not sure if I should bring it up, I paused, trying to feel out the moment. I did not want things to become super awkward between us. It would completely ruin the beauty of last night.
Besides, my new life was about going with the flow. I did not want to get caught up in labeling what was going on or putting any strict rules on it. I was learning that was the fun part about life.
But what if now was the perfect time to discuss it? He had not taken his attention from me so I figured I should go for it.
"About last night."
We both looked at each other and laughed at the fact that we both said the same thing at the same time. It took a little of the edge off. Obviously this was the right time to discuss it.
"Does last night have anything to do with the reason you would like for me to stay?" I thought I may as well just go for it.
Blake shrugged. "Some of the reason. Not the entire reason. I don't want you to think that I want you to stay for any other reason besides," he paused. "I would just like for you to stay. Is that enough?"
"It could be. I just never," I had to think about it to find the right words. "I never fell for someone so quickly." By the time the words escaped my lips, they were a whisper.
Taking me in his arms, his lips covered mine in a sensual display of affection.
"Me either. So when something out of the ordinary happens, you have to handle it in an extraordinary way."
"And how do you propose we do that?"
"I think that you should stay." He gently lifted my chin and we were eye to eye.
"Okay. I will stay. Long enough for me to find a place."
Frowning, Blake stroked my chin. "That's a start."
"Now, let me take my car for a spin. I want to see how she runs."
Blake held up his hands. "Be my guest."
It was great to have my own car, a slice of my freedom back again. Riding through town was different this time. I felt like this was the first time that I found myself in my life. I made all the right decisions for myself so far, so there was no reason to start doubting myself now.
Once I got to town, I stopped by the library first to get my start time together with Miss Leigh Anne. She also suggested a few places that I should look for a place to live and gave them to me in a list that she had handwritten.
It constantly amazed me how wonderful people were in this town. Just willing to help without anything in return. This was exactly the kind of place where I wanted to live. I stopped in the local diner and grabbed a coffee. Everyone was all smiles, including me, until I walked out and saw her.
The blonde from the other day. She was walking down the street, engrossed in a conversation on her cell phone. Her hands were flying everywhere as she spoke in a tone that let me know that she was being firm about whatever the subject was.
Blake described her as an old friend. That was totally possible, after all, he had lived here his entire life. Why would he not run in to old friends? But I knew that was code word for describing someone he had a history with. Replaying the interaction in my mind, I could see the expression on both of their faces. There was a stress, an awkwardness that settled between them that could only be due to things unspoken and dredged up old memories.
She continued on her way, not even noticing me. I wanted to know more, but I realized that maybe that was not my place to know all of that right now. My focus was on setting up my life in town right now. But the more that I thought about it, Blake had not actually disclosed as much to me about his life as I had. Even though it took me a moment to feel comfortable enough to disclose, I finally did. Blake was a great listener, but he had not offered up much about his love life. We discussed his childhood, his parents, and the fact that he owned the ranch. But we never discussed the reason why he seemed to have the contradiction of being a rugged cowboy that lived off the land, but still enjoyed driving in a convertible Mercedes.
I drove past the addresses that Miss Leigh Anne wrote down for me just to see what the places looked like. Process of elimination would be best to decide where to start looking. The more I drove around, I felt more of a connection with the place I chose to live. But the interesting part was that I think that it had almost chosen me just as much.
I decided to pursue three of the five locations and made a note to call all of them this afternoon to set up appointments to explore. There was not much more to see, so I made my way back to the ranch.
It settled more and more on my mind to sit down and talk with Blake about more. He was really my first friend here in town and it was worth it to get to know one another more. No matter what, he would hold a special place in my heart.
I had not really done anything to show my appreciation for all that Blake had done for me, so I stopped by the grocery store to pick up some things to cook a special meal. It was the least I could do to show my thanks. I was actually a pretty good cook, and I had not taken the time to prepare a meal in so long. Cooking was therapeutic and it would be a wonderful way to cool the awkwardness that settled in between us since our night together.
Armed with all of the ingredients needed, the kitchen was my liar as I prepared our meal. The steak was perfectly seared, the veggies steamed, and the shrimp perfectly cooked.
"Something smells pretty amazing in here."
/>
Blake appeared in the kitchen, smiling. "What is all of this?"
"An appreciation dinner. I know that I've said thank you, but I wanted to really show my thanks."
He nodded, surveying the food prepared.
"Everything looks wonderful."
"Great. Well, you can meet me in the dining room where I have everything all set up for our meal."
Blake was all smiles while I set the food out and served both of us.
"I had no idea."
"Well, there is much that we don't know about one another. But I hope this is a pleasant surprise," I responded.
"It is a very pleasant surprise."
We had comfortable conversation over our meal. It was nice to get rid of the slight tension that was between us after our night together. The conversation flowed comfortably and we just sat, enjoying each other's company and having a good time.
"The meal was amazing. What else don't I know about you, Christy?"
"So much."
"Why don't we have a glass of wine and sit back and relax?"
"Sounds good to me."
He disappeared and returned with a few glasses and a bottle of wine. We went to the living room where we sat on the plush couches and relaxed. Blake poured the wine and grabbing a remote, turned on the music. Jazz played softly and we sank into the couches with our wine. Folding my legs beneath me, I got comfortable, partly because the couch was so soft and partly because I was so full.
"So you are really going to stay in town?"
I nodded. "I am. This all just feels right." I sipped my wine and then a thought came to mind that I wanted to add. "And I decided that before, well, you know."
Blake chuckled. "It's fine. I love this place. It's a perfect little slice of Heaven. Not too fast, not too slow. People are nice, everyone looks out for one another. Great place to raise kids. Fresh air, green grass, mountains in the backdrop. What more could you ask for?"
"Have you ever wanted to live anywhere else?"
"Not really. I've traveled, seen things. Figured out that I fit in just fine here."
"I like that philosophy."
"Looks like you have figured out where you fit in now too."
Giggling, I sipped the rest of my wine. "It feels that way."
Blake refreshed both of our glasses. The more I drank, the courage to ask him about the blonde was coming to the surface.
"So I don't think we've ever really talked about your love life. Tell me about it, Blake."
He gulped some of his wine down before he began speaking. "I never really felt lucky about that kind of thing. It's a sinking kind of feeling actually. Not one that I really understand. So I have to admit that I haven't been the best at it."
He was still pretty vague and I sipped my wine trying to wait for him to actually disclose more. His eye caught mine and he set his glass on the table.
"Look, I can say that I have messed up a time or two. Maybe not been the best mate possible. A few times, my focus was elsewhere. I can admit that now."
I was surprised by his openness. "What would make you a better mate now?"
His brow furrowed, Blake pondered the question posed. "I know myself better. I know what I want in a woman and I'm not willing to settle. I also am ready to be a better mate. Commit more of my time and effort. That was something I was not able to do before and I could definitely do now. But that woman has to be able to deal with me, understand who I am and all that I require as well. I find too often that woman are willing to ask for what they want, but not necessarily meet the man with all that they themselves require."
Blake polished off his glass of wine and offered me more. I shook my head, being at my limit.
"Christy, I know that we have not known each other long, but I am willing to see where this will go. These kinds of things take time, even though they happen quickly."
He leaned in close, lips brushing mine. "But I do want you to stay."
"I'm staying."
"Good." He softly kissed my lips and sat back.
"I should clean up a little."
"Thank you for the meal. It was amazing."
He kept me smiling as I went to the kitchen to start cleaning up. As I filled the sink with hot, soapy dishwater, I gazed out of the window, knowing that I would miss being on the ranch. The views were spectacular and it was always so peaceful. An SUV came riding up the driveway from the main road.
I shut off the water and watched as it approached. The driver's side door opened.
There she was.
The blonde.
My heart started racing, and I wanted to run and hide but at the same time, make my presence known. But that was not my place in this situation. I was a guest in this house.
I heard the doorbell chime. The voices speaking were a bit muffled. Drying my hands, I made my way toward the foyer. Coming from the kitchen, I could stay unseen if I stood near the door in the dining room, but still hear what was going on.
"Blake."
"Misty. You should have called before you stopped by."
"I was in the neighborhood."
"Right." I could hear the sarcasm in his voice.
"Well, aren't you going to invite me in?"
"Come on in, Misty. But I have a few things to do."
"So you want me to make it quick."
I peeked around the corner, watching the interaction. Misty, the blonde, stood in front of Blake, sassy. Her hand on her hip, she stared at him in a confrontational stance.
"So?" She stood there, arms crossed.
"I'm not sure what's next, Misty. Things have changed and just because you are back in town doesn't mean that I want to pick up where things left off. There is too much that has happened and in case you forgot, it's been five years. Five long years."
She tossed her hair over her shoulder, looking down at the floor. Sucking her teeth, she looked back up at him.
"I made my decisions, and you made yours. What did you expect me to do? Wait around?"
I could see Blake's jaw clenched. He rocked back and forth on his toes, shoving his hands deep in the pockets of his jeans.
"Misty, the point is, you have been gone for five years. You took way too much from me, and now you have the nerve to show back up here like nothing is wrong. We have way too much to discuss, but I don't want to do it right now."
"So when, Blake? When do we discuss things?" When she said the word discuss, she raised her hands and made air quotes.
"Now is definitely not the time, Misty."
"Why? Do you have company? I was in town and Mandy told me that you have had someone staying out here at the house."
Blake rolled his eyes. "Once again, it's been five years. What I do with my time and my house is not your business."
"Your house?" Misty nodded. "Okay," she threw her hands in the air in an arresting motion. "I see you want to make this a lot harder than it has to be."
My chest was tightening as I watched the interaction. It was apparent that Blake and Misty had an intense history.
It was apparent that she wanted to lay claim to being in Blake's life.
It was also apparent that I did not know Blake as much as I would like to.
Taking a deep breath, I walked back toward the living room. I did not want to hear anymore. It was definitely time to leave. I did not want to intrude any more. Blake had been great to me, but this was a deafening reminder that I needed to get back to real life.
Taking one last peek, I watched as the two of them continued talking in a code that only the two of them knew and I knew right then, that I needed to go.
I would make sure that I was out by the end of the week. I had a job, my car, and my new lease on life. I didn't need anything else. But wasn't that what my life was about these days? Things not going all the way that I expected, but still coming out of it better?
I held my hands to my heart, trying to still the pain. Even with Misty's unexpected visit, I knew things were not over between Bla
ke and I.
I was not ready for them to be, and I was pretty sure that Blake would not let them go that easily either.
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