***
Where was I going? It seemed to be such a loaded question. There was something settling about this special place that I found, but there was so much more out there that I could be missing out on. I did not want to miss out on anything. There could be so much more that I needed to experience.
But what if all that I needed was right here and I needed to experience that life here? I was not sure of what the answer was to that question. When I thought about it, what kind of woman would I be to stay here, after falling for a man that I hadn't even known for a month?
My grandmother used to say that sometimes there were circumstances that were extraordinary and that sometimes we had to do extraordinary things to stay there.
What if this was one of those extraordinary circumstances?
Looking out over all of the land, the lush greenery up against the backdrop of the majestic mountains, I decided that I could live life right here. Even if it was only for a little while. There would be no need to go racing toward the great unknown when there was so much here that I had not experienced.
I'd tell Blake that I was staying, hoping that he would not have any expectations because of it. It was already hard enough to figure out what was happening between us as it was.
The back door closed and I knew that Blake was in the house. I could hear the water running in the mud room where he was surely washing his hands and taking off the dirty clothing he had on in the garage.
Munching on some carrot sticks, I tried to fight the anxiety that was budding in the pit of my stomach. If I was going to stay here in town, I would have to get a place to live, look for work, and really look at putting down roots. This was all starting to feel so real to me.
"A penny for your thoughts," he asked me with a smile.
When Blake smiled, something in me made me want to put down my defenses. And when I did, it made me notice how stringently they were erected.
"I was just thinking about how I just might go ahead and stay here in town for a while. Maybe feel it out. See what kind of adventure will happen here."
"Adventure?" He scrunched his face. "I doubt it. Not living out here. Nothing but calm living. Nothing else."
"That may be exactly what I need here. A little calm living. Something nice and relaxing for once."
Blake stole a carrot from my plate. "What do you plan on doing with yourself if you do live here?"
"Like work and a place to live?"
He nodded.
"Exactly."
"Step one was to agree on the fact that I plan to stay here for a while. Step two is to come up with a game plan on where to live and looking for work."
"What kind of skills do you have?"
I dipped my carrot in the dressing and took a bite before speaking again. "I've been a personal assistant for so long, I had not really thought about what else I would do. I'm great at organizing and project planning. I'm also good with numbers so anything that has to do with any of that would be right up my alley."
"Those are respectable skills. I'm sure someone here in town can use some help with those areas."
"Or maybe I might try my hand at something else. I recently read this article on a blog about this woman who quit her job and traveled abroad for a year, not working and finding herself. She figured out that she had been missing out on so much in life and she took the time out to do things differently, giving her a new perspective on her life."
Blake shook his head. "Sounds a little out of order to me, but to each his own." He spun his finger around in a circle near his ear, signaling that he thought the idea was far-fetched.
"You think I'm crazy."
He shrugged, taking another carrot and popping it in his mouth. "Not really. But I believe that you believe that you are doing all of the right things. And it is your life. So you have to do what's best for you."
I began to clean up the dishes from the snack that I ate.
"I'm going to go into town if you don't mind."
"Be my guest. I would like to take you out for a proper dinner tonight though. Seven sharp."
"I can do that."
I started to walk out of the kitchen and then it dawned on me that I had no mode of transportation of my own to get to town. On my way back to the kitchen to ask Blake if I could borrow his truck, he was standing there with a set of keys dangling in his hands.
"These are to the car in the garage. Help yourself."
"Thank you."