Page 28
I started drawing a house. Art never was my favorite subject, and every attempt of mine usually ended up being a house anyway. And my hands had stopped shaking. I had enough muscle control for my drawing to actually resemble a house.
Cole tweaked his easel so I couldn’t see what he was working on. It also meant he could watch me work. I’d stopped caring a long time ago.
“Nik,” he whispered loudly. “What’s that supposed to be?”
“It’s a house. ”
“Oh. Um … stunning. ”
I focused on my sketch, but I could feel Cole’s eyes watching my lines.
“Hey, Nik!”
“What?”
“Has it started running down your arm yet?”
I whipped my head around, and the piece of charcoal I had been using flew out of my hand and ricocheted off the back of Cole’s easel. “What did you say?”
Cole held up his hands in mock surrender. “Whoa. Didn’t mean to freak you out. Just wondering about your mark. ”
“How did you know?” And then I shook my head. “Never mind. I forget you’ve been through this before. ”
“Not like this. I’ve never tracked someone after the Feed. Like I said, you’re different. You’re—”
“I know. I know. Special. ” I knew the real answer now. I wasn’t old and crazy. “Please draw and stop talking. ”
He put his charcoal on the tray of his easel and then rubbed his hands together lightly. “The Shade is getting stronger. You know the fingers of your mark? The ones that look like little breakaway lines? Those represent the Tunnels. As if the Shade is reaching out for them. ”
As Cole spoke, his words felt like an ice cube on my neck, shooting down my spine. I couldn’t answer. Cole smiled and turned his easel so the picture he had been working on faced me.
On the canvas was a thin girl with long black hair, the ends of which were flowing behind her as if she were facing a strong wind. But as I looked closer, I realized her hair wasn’t blowing. It was being sucked into a dark vortex behind her.
Cole held my gaze for a few moments. I could tell what was behind his eyes. He was saying, Come with me and this won’t be you.
He pointed to my arm, then reached out as if he would grab it. “It’s not too late. ”
The bell rang. I jerked my arm away. I had to get him away from me. I had to.
We stared at each other in silence for a moment. I didn’t realize how much time had passed, and I started to put my tools away. The rest of the students had already done so and were filing out of the room. Cole stayed behind, waiting for me.
I packed my gear as if he weren’t even there, and then I ripped my name tag off the box Mr. Tanner had given me at the start of the year. I wasn’t going to waste the little time I had left in art class anymore.
Cole watched. He probably knew what I was doing. If I could wish for anything at this moment, it would be for Cole to leave. Let me have this little time to myself.
He followed me into the hallway. I turned abruptly and blurted out, “What would it take to get you to leave me alone?”
“I think you know exactly what it would take. ”
“What if I make you a deal?”
His eyebrows wrinkled. “A deal?”
Lowering my voice, I said, “What if I promise to go with you, but not until right before the Tunnels come?” I took a step closer in my sudden enthusiasm, and he backed up. “As long as I go with you before the Tunnels actually come, it will work. If you give me these last moments with Jack alone, I’ll go with you. ”
I tried not to let my face show the lie I was telling.
His face went blank, then it broke out in a wide grin. “Golly, do you pinky swear?” he said sarcastically. When I didn’t answer, he continued, “Your little plan would involve me taking quite a bit on faith. You’re not exactly a safe bet. ”
I guess I wasn’t surprised. But I was so tired of Cole. I looked him directly in the eye. “If you can tell when I’m lying, you should know without a doubt when I’m telling the truth. ” I put my face even closer to his. “Here’s the truth. I. Will. Never. Ever. Go with you. ”
Cole’s eyes became tight, and then I saw something on his face I’d never seen before. Genuine pain.
I took in a short breath of surprise, but I stood my ground. If the hurt on his face was as real as it looked, maybe that’s what it would take to get him to back down.
Cole looked over my shoulder, and his expression switched from hurt to blazing anger, the fierceness of which sent a cold shiver all the way to my fingers and toes.
I turned to see the recipient of such venom, even though I knew who was standing there.
“Jack,” Cole said, his voice tense and jeering, “help me out here. Our girl is talking crazy, and I don’t speak crazy. ”
Jack shot me a curious look. “Ignore him,” I said, a pit growing in my stomach. I tugged on Jack’s arm, but he didn’t move.
“Oh, sure,” Cole said. “Ignore the guy with the information. Speaking of information, Jack, has Nikki told you about her mark?”
The breath stopped in my chest.
“Yes,” Jack said, still at a loss.
“Cole—” I started to say, but he cut me off.
“I should’ve been more specific,” Cole continued. “I meant to say has she told you the truth about her mark?”
I yanked Jack’s arm. “C’mon, Jack. Let’s just leave. Please. ” Only now he definitely wasn’t going anywhere.
“Did you know it’s growing?” Cole took a step toward Jack and spoke in low tones. “I mean, have you seen it? The whole thing?”
Jack didn’t answer. I looked at Cole. “Cole. Please. ” I turned to Jack. “Please,” I said again, to both of them.
Cole smiled. “I’m just trying to help. He needs to know. ”
“He’s got a life here,” I said, momentarily ignoring Jack at my side. “It doesn’t mean anything to him anymore. ” I tried the only thing I could think of. “It’s between me and you. It won’t matter to him. ”
“Between me and you? Together? How far are you willing to go with that, Nik?” Cole’s grin widened and I knew he was calling my bluff, and before I could say or do anything else, he said, “The mark on her shoulder is like a timer, Jack. She’s going away again. And soon. ”
I froze and closed my eyes.
“What do you mean?” Jack asked. “If you think Nikki’s going to choose to go with you, I know her. She’s not. ”
I squeezed my eyes tighter.
“Jack, she’s leaving whether she decides to go with me or not. She has a debt to pay, and there’s nothing you, or her dad, or her friends, or even Nik, can do about it. ” I heard Cole take another step closer to Jack. When I opened my eyes, Cole had a hand on Jack’s stiff shoulder. “I’m sorry she didn’t tell you, bro. But maybe you can help her make the right decision. You know how Nik can be … self-destructive. Behind one door, she faces endless pain, until she just … disappears. Behind the other, she’ll be exalted. Help her choose eternal glory over the Tunnels of hell. She can either serve the Everneath as a battery, or rule it. ”
“Enough!” I stepped between them. “Leave, Cole. There’s nothing more you can do. ”
“Is it true, Becks?” Jack couldn’t look at me. “You’re leaving?”
“Yes,” I said. My heart felt like it was breaking.
Jack started to turn away.
“Wait, Jack. ” He paused, but he didn’t turn. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, but I didn’t know how to tell you. ”
“She’s really, really sorry,” Cole said, making my apology seem shallow.
Jack didn’t say anything. He walked away.
Cole stood beside me as we watched Jack walk down the hall and shove open the glass doors that led to the parking lot. For a few long minutes I didn’t move.
“I’m sorry, Nik. You should’ve known what backing me into a corner would do. ” His voice grew
quiet. “But he deserved to know the truth. ”
I didn’t answer. I should’ve told Jack. I knew this. Maybe he still would’ve left. But maybe he wouldn’t have.
Completely numb, I started walking. Like a shadow, Cole fell into step beside me, and I let him. I was too tired to fight anymore.
We walked out the doors and into a sharp wind that carried tiny flecks of ice in it. I buried my nose in the collar of my coat. I put my key in the car door, then turned around and faced him. He had shifted back to his original self. I was surprised by how fast he could make the switch. I didn’t even catch a glimpse, and he was Cole again. “Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why is it so important for you to make Jack hate me?” I closed my eyes and leaned my head back. “Please. Tell me. ”
“Because people in love tend to make irresponsible decisions. Human relationships—you know, the things for which you would give up your chance at eternal life—are fleeting. ” He was taking my own words and using them against me.
I opened my eyes and looked at him. “You’re lying. ”
“No, I’m not. ”
“But there’s something else too, isn’t there?” There had to be another reason. Everything Cole did had a motive. He was holding something back. “Tell me. ”
His smile disappeared, but he stayed quiet.
“Fine. If you’re not going to talk to me…” I jerked my car door open, but Cole slammed it shut from behind me. He kept his hand pressed against the window. I turned around, and his face was so close. “What? What do you want?”
“You, Nik. ” Cole took a couple of deep breaths. “I want you. Whether we take over the throne or not. I want you in my life, and the only way that will happen is if you become like me. We shared a heart, Nik. ” He touched his finger to my heart. “Your heart is in me now. ”
“Not my heart,” I said. “Just some of my emotions. ”
“Same thing. It belongs to me. And so I belong to you. ”
I closed my eyes, but I didn’t fight him. I was tired of losing everybody I cared about. Tired of being alone.
“We used to be like this, Nik. ” He leaned even closer, not physically touching me, but I could feel the charge between us. I knew I should’ve pushed away, but my stupid body betrayed me. My traitorous arms and legs wanted to tangle with Cole’s again. That hundred years in the Everneath had molded us together, and our bodies had memorized how they were supposed to fit.
He lowered his head next to mine so we were cheek-to-cheek. “We were exactly. Like. This. For a century. ”
I couldn’t move. I didn’t want to.
He kept his right hand on the door, and he slipped his other arm behind me, pulling me away. “Except my hand was here. ” He pressed his fingertips into my lower back. “And your hand…” He moved his right hand and grabbed my left arm, then wrapped it around his back, soft and low, and pressed my fingers into position. “There. ”
With Cole so close, I couldn’t help imagining leaving it all behind right now. The pain. The pungent smells of the Surface. The disappointment of my family. The heartache of Jack.
Jack.
Jack didn’t give up on me when I left. Jules told me he never stopped looking. Never stopped hoping I’d come back. I couldn’t give up on him now.
That’s when I knew what I had to do. The only way I’d be able to think clearly would be to get Cole away from me. I pushed him away.
“I hate you. ”
Cole just smirked at me. “Hate. Such a strong feeling. A next-door neighbor to love. ”
“It will never be love. You made the only person I love leave,” I said.
“No, Nik. You did. ” He opened my door for me and I drove off, leaving him standing there.
When I got home, I spent a couple of hours pacing the carpets. I couldn’t let Jack let me go. Maybe at the start of my Return I would’ve let him alone. But we’d come too far, and I actually felt hope now. I couldn’t let him give up on me. Not now. Not anymore.
I drove to his house. When I knocked on the door, Jack’s mother answered. Mrs. Caputo had liked me well enough as Jack’s friend, but I don’t think she’d ever accepted me as his girlfriend. She’d always been civil, though, which was why her icy reception surprised me.
“Nikki. I heard you were back. ” She blocked the open door with her body. I was obviously not invited in.
“Yes. How are you, Mrs. Caputo?”
“Fine. ”
“Good. Good. Um, is Jack around?”
“No. ” She started to close the door.
I put my hand on it. “Wait. Please. ”
She held still but didn’t say anything. I shivered, but not because of the cold outside. “Is he okay?”