Chapter Nineteen
Mabraant, Mabra System, Fazaal Sector, Gaashox Quadrant
In earlier confrontations, the Krelathans always managed to deploy more fighters than the MDF regardless of how large or small the squadrons were. Since Kopaz Squadron had become active and more fighters were being upgraded, the MDF was finally gaining the upper hand. MDF losses were lower than they had ever been, not a single transport or cruiser had been lost to the raiders, at least not in the Mabra System. The pilots were also gaining essential combat experience, which improved their chances with each mission they undertook.
Joeen, the new member of Kopaz squadron designated Kopaz-Five, proved to be as good as expected and fitted in extremely well. She added a welcome touch of humour and glamour to the squadron, which in turn helped to ease the tension after the more demanding and stressful confrontations with the Krelathan raiders. After receiving her modified interceptor, for which she was overwhelmed by the squadron’s generosity, her kill ratio and her confidence increased considerably.
Unfortunately for Grogaan, her presence in the squadron was causing him considerable emotional discomfort, making it difficult for him to suppress his growing desire for her. It was only his longing to meet Ellarna that gave him the strength to resist, but he knew he would not be able to continue doing so indefinitely.
After four months had passed by without Ellarna making a single appearance, Grogaan was beginning to wonder if the encounter in the Klaret Diner had been one of pure coincidence. He was convinced it was not, if only because of the strange sensations he experienced at the time.
The MDF were continuing their successful defence against the raiders, and suffered the loss of only ten pilots in those four months, which was primarily due to an overwhelming superiority in number of raiders. These losses occurred on the outer fringes of the system when the Mabraantan forces were stretched too thin, usually when Kopaz Squadron were not on patrol, and most of whom were younger less experienced pilots.
Four of those killed were from One-Four-Seven Squadron, all during the same confrontation. Lusiana was the only other surviving female pilot in the MDF fighter command, was a good friend of Joeen, and was one of the two fortunate ones from that squadron to survive the engagement. Her ship was extensively damaged and many systems were failing by the time she reached the emergency landing area. She was badly shaken up, and had to be helped out of her ship before being taken to the medical facility.
The engineers refrained from telling her how fortunate she was. They estimated another five minutes flight would have been enough to stress the systems to the point of complete and catastrophic failure. They shut down all systems, extinguished the electrical fires, and then allowed everything to cool before moving it inside the hangar for repair.
After receiving a medical examination and psychological evaluation, Lusiana was given a four day furlough. After changing out of her flight suit, she sought out Joeen who was the only one with whom she felt close enough to talk to. Joeen made them both a mug of tea, and found an empty interview room for them to talk in private. Joeen made her sit on the small sofa, sat beside her, and put her drink on the small table in front of them.
Lusiana sipped her tea, her head lowered and was struggling to hold back her tears. “It was so hard Joeen, seeing friends die, their ships exploding, and knowing they were unable to eject.” The tears streamed down her face and dripped onto her legs. “I was so close to dying up there. If Derrin hadn’t taken out that Krelathan when he did, it would’ve been me. It cost him his life.”
Joeen listened in silence, knowing there was nothing she could say to help, which was, in fact, all Lusiana wanted at the moment. She started sobbing, and even Joeen felt the tears forming in her own eyes. She looked up after taking another sip of her drink. “The engineers didn’t say anything, but I saw it in their eyes. I was lucky, not once, but twice. If I hadn’t landed when I did, I wouldn’t be here now.”
Lusiana put her mug down, wiped her face with both hands, then took a deep breath to calm her emotions. “My confidence is shattered, Joeen. I don’t think I can do it anymore.” Fresh tears trickled down her face.
“Give it time Lusiana.”
Lusiana turned to look at her friend, unable to hide the sadness in her eyes. “I don’t think I can do it, not now.” She wiped her face again. “I’m going to hang up my wings and take a desk job. I might even leave the MDF altogether.”
“I wouldn’t rush into making a decision like that. Take the few days off and get some rest. Think about it, and see how you feel afterward. If you want, I’ll visit and we can chat about it.” Joeen took hold of her friend’s hands. “You’re a good pilot Lusiana. Don’t let the Krelathans defeat you up here,” she said tapping her head with her finger.
Lusiana smiled and embraced her. “Thanks for listening and being so helpful. I will think about it, and I might take you up on that offer.”
“I’ll always be here for you, you know that.”
Lusiana smiled.
“Why don’t you join me and the others later this evening? We’re meeting at the Klaret for a drink. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind you coming along.”
Lusiana’s eyes brightened at the offer. She was feeling so despondent, some friendly company would be a welcome relief, and ease her troubled mind. “Yes, I’d like that, thanks.”
“We’ll see you about eight then.”
As Joeen returned to her duties, she wondered if being part of Kopaz Squadron would restore Lusiana’s confidence. When she contacted Grogaan to ask if they could meet half an hour earlier than arranged, he agreed without even asking why.
Grogaan and the others were already in the diner when Joeen arrived at seven thirty, with four tankards of ale and one glass of Tabroan Claret, which was Joeen’s favourite red wine, already on the table, courtesy of Grogaan.
“So, what’s on your mind Joeen?” asked Grogaan.
The four listened intently as Joeen told them about Lusiana, the losses one-four-seven suffered, and how it had affected her. “I believe she needs something to make her feel special, wanted, and appreciated.” She looked at Grogaan and saw him smiling as if he knew what she was about to ask, which he did. “So, I was wondering, would you consider offering Lusiana a place in your squadron?”
Zaack, Doraant and Eldaan turned to face Grogaan, who was rubbing his thumb and first finger over his moustache and chin, something he usually did when thinking. He already knew of the young woman’s reputation as a pilot, her records suggesting she was equal to Joeen in skill and capability, and understood why she was feeling the way she was. His only reservation in letting her join was what effect it might have on other pilots in the MDF: Would they resent him and his squadron even more, or would more ask to join?
“Tell us a bit more about her, her character, personality, how well she gets on with people she doesn’t know,” said Grogaan.
“She’s very similar in character and personality to me, pleasant, unassuming and friendly. Her only problem is the same one I had: A woman in a man’s world. A lot of the pilots believe combat is not the place for women, and Lusiana is afraid her actions following her incident will prove them right.”
“Well, I have no qualms about women facing combat situations. History is filled with stories of female warriors and leaders who surpassed their male equals.”
Grogaan asked his three friends for their opinion, all of whom were in favour. He had already made up his mind before asking the others, but would not do anything without their agreement. Increasing their number to six would bring them up to the standard squadron formation, which was adopted by defence forces in the sector shortly after the trouble with the Krelathans began. It would also be good for Joeen to have another woman for support, but Grogaan had another more personal reason for agreeing. With another female in the squadron, it would divert Joeen’s attention from him, and hopefully help him resist succumbing to his desire for her.
They were discussing the conditions of her joi
ning, what would be required of her and how she would fit in when the young woman arrived. Grogaan stood up and introduced each of them, and then ordered her a drink before breaking the good news. She was shocked when he told her, and even more so when he said all of them were in favour. Lusiana was so overwhelmed she began crying, and gave each of them a hug and a kiss to say thank you.
With Grogaan’s funds depleting at an alarming rate, having purchased the new MCI for Joeen, and now having to purchase another for Lusiana, another trip to Breolis Seven was required. This time he would travel in his MC6 yacht, and kill two dragons to make the trip worthwhile.
After killing a rather large specimen on a previous occasion, Grogaan cut up, froze and brought back a considerable amount of the dragon. He gave most of it to Franklin, the owner of the Klaret, to try in the restaurant. To Franklin’s surprise it proved quite popular especially when cooked in his special red wine sauce, and was willing to pay a good price for it.
Grogaan refused to accept payment, so at Franklin’s suggestion, he agreed to free drinks for the next month, a choice that delighted his friends considerably. He also agreed to provide a regular bi-monthly supply, at minimal cost to the Klaret, which gave Grogaan an excuse to visit Breolis Seven more often to finalise his preparations.
After purchasing the MCI, the group spent as much time as possible upgrading it, even at the expense of some of their leisure time, which they deemed necessary. Grogaan spent additional time at the weekends and some evenings when he had nothing more pressing to do, primarily to keep his mind off his dilemma over Joeen and Ellarna.
After they completed the final system checks, and Grogaan performed full flight and performance checks, they presented Lusiana with her finished ship. The young woman was beside herself with amazement and gratitude, unable to comprehend the squadron’s kindness and generosity. She understood the need for them all to be flying identically powered and armoured ships, but to have them do all the work themselves, during work and in their own time without expecting anything in return, was astounding. It made her feel so special.
Once in the air, Lusiana soon realised how far the performance of her new ship exceeded that of the standard interceptors, and relished the opportunity given her. She soon regained her confidence and her skills improved considerably. She had finally fulfilled one of her dreams: To be accepted as an equal and treated as such without having to prove herself. Her skills improved not because she intentionally sought to improve them just to prove her abilities, but because of the way Kopaz Squadron treated and encouraged her.
The losses the MDF experienced were ones Grogaan vowed to avenge because Hobbes, an old school friend of his, was one of those who had been killed. Grogaan and his team were upgrading the last of the TS5s on that particular day, and he was angry that he had not been requested for patrol duties, and felt guilty for not having insisted on joining them. Admiral Yurgat was adamant that the upgrading of the last of the TS5s was too important to include Kopaz Squadron in these particular patrols, a decision he later regretted.
It had been a long tiring day and the shift was nearly over when Trindall appeared on the workshop floor to call Kopaz Squadron together. When he informed them of the news about Hobbes’ death, Grogaan went quiet and sullen. Trindall silently cursed the Admiral for his decision that resulted in the deaths, and watched in silence as the team went to change before leaving work.
Instead of going straight home, the six pilots headed for the Klaret Diner, ordered some food and ale, and sat in the dining area to eat. After finishing the meal they decided to retreat into the bar to their favourite corner. Normally they would talk and drink in peace, but none of them had much to say. Grogaan hardly said a word for the hour and a half they were there.
Grogaan and Hobbes had been friends since before attending the junior education faculty, which was far longer than Zaack, Doraant and Eldaan had known Grogaan, so they understood how he was feeling.
“We’re going to head off home,” said Zaack as he and the others grabbed their jackets and readied themselves to leave.
“I think I’ll stay and have another in memory of Hobbes,” said Grogaan trying to remain positive.
Zaack looked at him. “Are you alright?”
“Yeah, sure, I just need some time to think,” he said. “I’ll see you all in the morning.”
They smiled and left Grogaan alone. He watched them expressionless until they exited through the door, and then sipped his drink as he turned back to face the window. He refused to let his mood become depressed and melancholy as he always used to, and tried to remember the good times. He had too much to lose to slip into his old ways now; too many people relied on him, his strength of character, and his determination to succeed against the Krelathans.
The hour it took him to finish his drink felt like an eternity. Grogaan was well on the way to avenging the death of his loved ones, dozens of Mabraantan pilots and some good friends. There was only one more real victory to secure: Defeating Kregarast.
Hobbes’ death was just like his father’s and Miranda’s; he was not there to fight the Krelathans. He was prevented from being there and anger filled his heart because of the injustice of it all. Instead of his emotions dragging him down into the pit of despair as it once did, the anger, regret and bitterness seemed to strengthen his resolve.
Grogaan raised his hands out in front of him, watched them for a moment, and was amazed to see they were surprisingly steady without the slightest waiver. He was expecting his hands to be shaking, even if it was only slightly, but they were not. He shook his head and let his thoughts drift to his dilemma over Joeen and Ellarna, but was distracted by Joss, the barman.
“Are you feeling alright Grogaan?” he asked quietly.
“Yeah, as well as can be expected. A good friend of mine died earlier today,” he said, “and I wasn’t on patrol,” the last said with a tinge of bitterness.
Joss looked at Grogaan knowing exactly what he was thinking. “It wasn’t your fault.”
“Maybe so, but I could have prevented it, should have prevented it.”
“Is there anything I can do, or get you?”
“Another drink will be fine thanks.”
Joss went off to get him another drink, and to sound the bell for a one minute silence, as was customary in the Klaret. Grogaan appreciated the gesture.
The more he thought of Hobbes the more the rage began to build within. He could feel his heart beating faster, so fast it felt as though it would burst from his body. His hands became clammy and he realised his grip on the glass was getting firmer. This was one loss too many, and as his thoughts dwelt on it, the rage permeated his soul to a greater depth. If he did not control himself, he knew would end up going over the edge.
He had heard of many pilots who had cracked under the intense pressure of sustained combat; from seeing a friend’s ship explode with them still inside; from the mental strain caused by haunting memories which pushed them over the edge and into a mental breakdown. For Grogaan, it was the anger from not being able to prevent the deaths that ripped him apart inside. The more he thought of the injustice of it all, the more the rage grew inside, and as it did, he knew it was up to him to do something about it, but first, he had to control that rage.
When he turned his thoughts to Ellarna and how beautiful she was, a clear image of her appeared in his mind. As he focused on the image, he began to relax and an inner calm filled his soul.
Then thoughts of Joeen burst into his mind bringing fresh confusion over the feelings he had toward both her and Ellarna. He knew how much Joeen admired him, and his admiration for her was still growing despite Lusiana’s presence in the squadron. However, before making a decision regarding Joeen, he wanted to be sure the encounter with Ellarna was a result of destiny guiding them, or not.
However, not knowing how long he would have to wait to discover the truth was eating away at his patience and his resolve. He covered his face with his hands, rubbed his eyes and then
folded his arms over his chest, thinking hard about what to do. After half an hour, he came to a final decision. If Ellarna did not return to the Klaret in the next two weeks, he would offer to take Joeen for a meal and let fate take its course.
Having been so busy over the past five months, Grogaan had frequented the Klaret on only one or two evenings a week, and was unaware Ellarna had become a regular attendee there. With his thoughts elsewhere, and his gaze fixed on the distant hills visible through the window, he failed to notice people entering and leaving the diner, and his senses failed to detect the arrival of Ellarna, who sat in the opposite corner to where he was seated.
Ellarna did, however, notice Grogaan sitting on his own gazing continually out of the window, taking the occasional sip of his drink without taking his eyes from whatever he was watching. On the two occasions she caught sight of his face, his expression remained neutral, revealing nothing about what he was feeling, and made her wonder what he was thinking about.
While sipping her wine, she let her gaze linger on the young man a little longer than usual. For some reason he looked familiar, but she was unable to place where she had seen him before. She shuddered as a strange sensation made her body tingle, and felt a prompting to enquire about the young man. She left her friends and spoke to the barman. “Joss, who is that young man?” she asked, pointing discreetly toward Grogaan.
“Him? Oh that’s Grogaan. He’s a regular here, but him and his squadron have been exceptionally busy these past months so he hasn’t been in as much as usual.”
“What squadron would that be, Joss?”
“You don’t know?”
Ellarna shook her head. “His name sounds familiar but . . .”
“He’s Squadron Leader Grogaan Learman, commander of the now infamous Kopaz Squadron.”
Ellarna shook her head as enlightenment failed to materialise. Unknown to her, the forces of destiny and the astral realm were purposefully confounding her thoughts. “Why does he just sit and gaze out of the window?”
“He’s been like that for the past hour and a half, and I’m a little worried about him. He hasn’t been that quiet for a long time, well, not since they finished modifying their ships.”
Ellarna looked at Joss curiously.
“He lost a close friend today, killed by those Krelathan raiders. They had been friends since early childhood and grew up together, so I was told.”
Ellarna turned her gaze back to Grogaan and sighed lightly.
“The worst thing is that he blames himself for his death. Reckons it wouldn’t have happened had he been on patrol, but that’s not all. He lost his elder brother, his father and his fiancée several years ago, and it’s only now he’s coming to terms with it.”
“How did his fiancée die?”
“I’m not actually sure. He never confided in me, but I think it was when raiders attacked the ship she was travelling on. As a matter of fact, he never talks to anyone about her death or even that of his brother and father, so no one mentions it.
As Ellarna continued gazing at Grogaan, the strange sensation she had experienced earlier returned, only this time it came from deep within and flowed through her whole body, but she was unable to understand what it was, or what it meant. The vague recollection of having seen him before plagued her mind, and she was convinced she should know about him and his squadron.
Joss continued, stirring Ellarna from her thoughts. “There’s something about Grogaan that makes him so different from his friends. Some say he’s sensitive to the magical powers that gave the Guardians their abilities, but most don’t believe it, not even Grogaan.”
Ellarna noticed the young man finish his drink, place his tankard on the table, and cross his arms, never taking his gaze from the window. “Pour me another one of whatever he’s drinking please Joss.” A few moments later, she was walking toward Grogaan. “Excuse me,” she said, speaking softly to avoid surprising him, “would you care for a little company?”
“I’m sorry Miss, but I don’t think I’d be very pleasant company at the moment.”
“Perhaps another drink would cheer you a little. Mabraleen ale is your favourite, is it not?” She stepped a little closer.
Hearing her soft friendly voice made him think twice about leaving, and he realised he was being impolite. He was about to turn and face her when a strange tingling sensation suddenly shot up his spine, and then he sensed who she was. He turned round to see Ellarna Rayshon smiling at him, holding a glass of ale in one hand and a deep blue-coloured drink in the other. Her smile had an positive impact upon him.
He stood up and gave a curt bow, and was hardly able to hide his delight at seeing her. “Please forgive me for my rudeness Miss Rayshon. Your company would be very much appreciated,” he replied, and felt his cheeks warming.
“Thank you.” She smiled and sat opposite him.
“You’re fortunate to catch me here this evening.”
Ellarna nodded. “Yes, Joss told me about your friend Hobbes. I am sorry.”
“Thank you.” Grogaan took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to quell the rising anger and sadness over Hobbes’ death. “It’s hard when you lose someone you’ve known a long time.”
“I can only imagine what you’re feeling right now.”
“It’s harder to accept because I could have prevented it.”
Ellarna gazed at him curiously.
“My squadron was busy upgrading MDF starfighters, but I should have gone on patrol regardless.”
“I was unaware that pilots undertook maintenance duties.”
Grogaan smiled. “That’s because we’re not enlisted pilots. Kopaz Squadron is, shall I say, an independent squadron made up of engineers who work at Mabraant Engineering, except for Joeen and Lusiana who are MDF pilots.”
“That explains a lot.” Ellarna tilted her head sideways and frowned. “Haven’t we met before?” she asked feeling perplexed, because she was still unable to fathom why he looked so familiar.
“Not actually met. I saw you in here several months ago, but I don’t think you noticed us here in the corner.”
“As a matter of fact, I did see you in here that day.”
Grogaan looked at her dumbfounded. “You did! I’m surprised you would have taken any notice of me and my friends.”
“Quite the contrary, actually; I may be the daughter of a Senator, but I do not regard myself any better or more important than any other citizen of Mabraant,” she said with slight indignation creeping into her voice, and then felt guilty for having snapped at him.
“I’m very sorry if I insinuated otherwise Ellarna,” he said with sincerity, and feeling embarrassed.
Ellarna sensed he had felt rebuffed. “There’s no need to apologise Grogaan. It is I who should be apologising for answering the way I did. It was uncalled for and unnecessary.”
“Why don’t we just forget the whole thing?” suggested Grogaan smiling happily.
“Why not,” she answered returning the gesture. Then the power confounding her memory dissipated and her memory returned. “Of course, now I recall everything. Squadron Leader Grogaan Learman, commander of Kopaz Squadron and the one who was unable to land due to ship malfunction.”
Grogaan smiled in acknowledgement.
“How could I have forgotten after hearing so many stories about you and your squadron’s achievements?” She also remembered the research she had conducted into his life, and that of his friends, but refrained from telling him that.
Grogaan felt his cheeks warming from embarrassment. “Well, we’re only doing what we set out to do.”
“Yes, well, you and your friends are exceptionally talented pilots; you should be proud of yourselves.”
“Of course I’m proud of my friends, but me, flying is all I’ve ever wanted to do. It makes me feel so alive, so at home,” he said smiling, but then the smile disappeared. “I don’t enjoy the killing you know, but it is necessary.”
“I believe you. Thanks to you and y
our friends there is renewed hope for the future. Some believe the end is in sight.” Ellarna took a sip of her drink without taking her gaze from his face. She noticed he did not appear impressed by the way people afforded him such high regard.
“Firepower and shielding is the key to success, not flying skills. The Krelathans always outnumbered us and had more powerful weapons. Kopaz Squadron’s success is all down to laser cannons.”
Ellarna smiled, even though she did not wholly agree with him. She knew firepower was ineffective if the ship was in the hands of an unskilled pilot, but Grogaan’s ability was irrefutably exceptional, making her wonder if his skills were attributed to supernatural powers. The thought of such things reminded her of the strange feelings she had experienced, and she felt a tingling sensation run up her spine.
“You needn’t answer if you don’t want to, but, when you saw me here before, did you sense or feel anything strange?”
Grogaan looked at her with wide eyes. “Do you ask because you also experienced something unexplainable?”
When she nodded gently, Grogaan shuddered as power seemed to flow through his body, and touched his mind in a way that enabled him to sense her emotions.
“As a matter of fact, I did. It was a feeling of having known someone for a long time, a kind of telepathic bond, and an unusual sensation of energy running through my body.”
“That’s just how I perceived it,” said Grogaan, who was delighted to hear Ellarna had experienced the same sensations, and confirmed his decision to refrain from entering a relationship with Joeen was the correct one.
Ellarna took a sip of her drink, and then looked at Grogaan pensively. “Do you know or have any idea what it means?”
Grogaan did have a vague idea, but was unsure if he wanted to express it because of his dilemma in accepting his potential adeptness in magic. “I wish I knew for sure.”
“Perhaps we might find out one day.” Ellarna gazed at him intently while scrutinising his expression. She wondered just how much he did know, but was reluctant to divulge it. She smiled.
“We might indeed,” he replied.
Ellarna detected a slight uneasiness in his voice, so she decided to change the subject. “Joss told me you come in here several times a week.”
“Did he now? Well, he’s right about that. Things have been rather hectic these last few months, so I haven’t always felt like stopping for a drink. To be honest, I thought the opportunity of meeting you again would pass by completely.”
“Do you believe in destiny?”
Grogaan was taken aback by her sudden and unexpected question, and looked at her wide eyed. “If you had asked me that a few months ago, I would have said definitely not.”
“But not anymore?”
“Now I’m not so sure. Recent events and circumstances make it difficult to attribute then to coincidence, but time might prove me wrong.”
“Or right,” added Ellarna smiling. She believed in destiny, was now convinced their meeting was a result of it, and was pleased she had not ignored the compulsion to come that first time.
They continued talking, and as he gazed at her, he absorbed every detail about her. Her skin was perfect, as smooth as Aloshan marble without a single blemish. Her eyes were a beautiful deep blue, piercing and hypnotic, and she had a smile that could melt any hardened heart. He was unable to wrench his gaze away, and knew he was falling in love with her.
They enjoyed each other’s company so much that Ellarna had forgotten about her friends. Her cheeks warmed from embarrassment when they came to tell her it was time to leave.
“I have really enjoyed your company Grogaan. Perhaps we could meet again?”
“Nothing would give me more pleasure. Maybe you would permit me to show you some of the local beauty spots.”
“Yes, I would like that very much. How about in three days?”
Grogaan agreed. “Why don’t we meet here for lunch about eleven thirty?”
“That would be most delightful. I look forward to it. Goodbye Grogaan.”
“Goodbye Ellarna,” he said feeling elated.
Ellarna walked away, but returned moments later and did something she had never done to anyone before: Gave him a kiss on his cheek. “Goodbye Grogaan,” she said softly, rejoined her friends and left.
Grogaan was speechless, managing only a smile as she walked away. The day had turned out to be not such a bad one after all. With a dreamy sigh, he returned to his table to finish his drink, and was unable to stop thinking about Ellarna.
He was not too disappointed when his friends failed to show later that evening; his evening had been made special, and he now had something else to look forward to. He had not forgotten about Hobbes, nor would he do so. Having something and someone else to focus on, he was convinced the grief and pain would no longer have such a devastating effect on him.
The confusion over his feelings regarding Joeen and Ellarna was no longer posing him any problems, at least for the time being. Even though Ellarna’s actions confirmed she was attracted to him, he wondered whether it was enough to cement a strong relationship. Their next meeting was going to be the perfect opportunity to discover how much she liked him, and whether they had been destined to meet from the start.
For the first time since Miranda died, Grogaan suffered no guilt over seeking a relationship with another woman, which was a major breakthrough for him, and went a long way to healing his broken heart. He questioned why fate had brought him and Miranda together, wondering if her death was unforeseen, or was fate guiding him along a path that required him to experience such trauma, preparing him to lead the fight against the Krelathans.
Grogaan walked home feeling happier than he had done for a long time. He hoped his renewed outlook on the future would ease his mind, and bring an end to the dreams. His squadron had performed far above expectations, and he had no idea what lay ahead of him, but he did know there was no place in the MDF for him, regardless of what the commanding officers offered. That night Grogaan had a long uninterrupted and peaceful sleep, waking up the following morning feeling fresh and ready for anything fate could throw at him.
For the next two days, Grogaan and his friends commenced work upgrading the remaining two squadrons of TS5’s from the MDF. They were ahead of schedule despite the numerous sorties they had undertaken. This was not only because of their dedication, but because much support had been given by several other engineers, whose skills allowed them to assist with the modifications by manufacturing many of the ancillary parts they required.
Admiral Yurgat was impressed and delighted with the progress, so much so, he arranged and signed a maintenance contract with Mabraant Engineering that would enable the company to return to full operational capacity. Most of the credit was awarded to Grogaan and his friends.
On the third day, Grogaan awoke feeling rested and calm after another peaceful undisturbed sleep. He was, however, filled with mixed emotions about the day: Anticipation and hope for what might happen with Ellarna; concern and trepidation about what might not happen and whether they would be compatible as friends. Grogaan believed he was becoming stronger both mentally and physically, and found controlling his emotions was becoming easier unless he was facing a combat situation. Then his anger would run rife.
Joss, the barman at the Klaret Diner, was shocked to see Grogaan entering the establishment before mid-day on a weekday. “Isn’t this a surprise! What brings you in here at this time of day?”
“I’m meeting Ellarna Rayshon for lunch, and then taking her to see some of the local beauty spots.”
Joss was impressed. “That’s something I wasn’t expecting. It seems as if we were both wrong about her.”
Grogaan smiled. “We were indeed.”
“Well, I’m pleased for you. It’s about time you found a little happiness. Been a long time, hey?”
“Far too long,” he sighed. “I’ve let my grief and anger control my life, and many have suffered because of it, especially my frien
ds.”
“I wouldn’t go as far as to say that, but you have let yourself suffer more than you needed to.”
Grogaan looked at Joss and smiled. “Ain’t that the truth, but no more.” When he saw Joss look toward the entrance, he turned to see Ellarna walking gracefully into the diner. She was wearing a long dark green tailored skirt, matching jacket and a white blouse. It was a striking contrast to his dark blue trousers and shirt. He stood up to greet her. “Hello Ellarna. You’re looking as beautiful as ever.”
“Flattery will get you everywhere. Hello Grogaan,” she said smiling. She then kissed him softly on the cheek before acknowledging the barman. “Hello Joss.”
“Hello Miss Rayshon. Weather’s good for sightseeing,” he said. “Would you care for the usual drinks?”
Grogaan and Ellarna both responded positively.
“I like the outfit, and it’s a delightful colour,” he said as he looked her over admiringly, the finely cut outfit accentuating her figure.
“Thank you.”
Joss placed their drinks on the bar, which Grogaan picked up and then led Ellarna to a table near a window in the dining area. They ordered Monkrat steak served with several locally grown vegetables, and exotic fruit for pudding.
After finishing their meal, the two chatted while sipping their drinks. Then Grogaan showed Ellarna several of the most beautiful sights around, finally ending up at Lake Mabreese, which was a difficult thing for him to do knowing it would probably stir up painful memories. They had been sitting near the edge of the lake for some time talking about anything and everything, enjoying each other’s company and the view, and did not realise time was passing rapidly.
The sun was setting slowly toward the horizon casting an orange glow over the mountains, creating long shadows behind them. The sunsets on Mabraant could be breathtaking, and thankfully, nature was not letting him down on this occasion. Lake Mabreese was an excellent place to watch both sunset and sunrise.
“What a wonderful place this is, so peaceful and quiet.” Ellarna glanced at Grogaan, her expression bright, her eyes sparkling. “You come here often, don’t you?”
“It’s my favourite place.”
“I’ve heard you’ve had a lot of bereavement in your life. Is that why you come here, to remember?”
“Mostly,” he paused, taking a deep breath and exhaled slowly through his mouth. “Yes it is. It helps me remember the good times I used to have: the times before the Krelathans ruined everything, before they destroyed my family and my future.” Anger began rising within at the mention of the Krelathans, but it was quickly replaced by intense sadness.
Ellarna saw the anger in his eyes, detected the bitterness in his words, and understood why. “Did you spend a lot of time here with Miranda?”
Memories of his fiancée flooded back into his mind, but he refused to let them affect him negatively. “Yes. We came here at every opportunity to enjoy the peace and solitude. We would talk for hours while lying down watching the birds, the clouds floating across the sky, and the sunsets.” He pictured her in his mind standing by the edge of the lake on that one very special day in his life. The sunlight glistening on her new ring as she held it up to admire, her radiant smile revealing her delight.
He took another deep breath and sighed heavily. “This is the spot where I asked her to marry me.” A smile appeared briefly as he remembered the moment, but it vanished just as quickly, replaced by sorrow. “She was standing right there by that little stream,” he said pointing to their right.
Ellarna looked at him with admiration and yet with compassion. “She must have been a very special and beautiful young woman.”
“She was. She was the most precious thing in my life, more so than my flying, but then those damned Krelathans turned up in the system and it all ended.” He felt the anger beginning to rise.
Ellarna noticed a tear appear in the corner of his eye. “You don’t need to say anymore.”
“I want to. I need to speak to someone about it.” He had not spoken to anyone of what had happened or how he felt, which was one of the causes behind his troubles. It was hard enough to cope with the pain, grief and anger that arose with the memories, but talking about her always seemed to intensify the anguish.
“I loved her so much, with every fibre of my being. The day she agreed to marry me was the happiest day of my life, and I doubted anything could ever make me happier.” He sighed and lowered his head as grief over her death engulfed him. “Miranda was travelling back from Breolis Primar with her parents after a family holiday when the transport they were on was attacked: There were no survivors.” He fought to control his rising emotions, and continued speaking.
“That day was to be another special day for us, being the first anniversary of our engagement. I had planned to surprise her by taking her for a special meal, and then suggest setting a date for the wedding. When she was killed it felt as if part of me had been ripped away, my life shattered, leaving a painful void that nothing could fill. The pain and grief I felt was too much for me to bear, the anger was tearing me apart, and because I didn’t know how to deal with it, I buried my feelings deep inside. I now know it was the wrong thing to do, as it only compounded my problems, making everything appear so much worse than it really was.
I was unable to control my emotions, became depressed too often, and I was descending into a pit of despair and self pity, which would have consumed me had it not been for my friends.” He shook his head and gazed at Ellarna. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be talking to you like this.”
“There is no need to apologise. She was a special person and an important part of your life. It would be wrong for you not to remember her, or feel aggrieved at her loss. Sometimes talking about such things helps to overcome the grief, and heals the wounds caused by loss.”
Grogaan gazed into her eyes and his spirit lifted. “I’ve never spoken to anyone about how I felt before; the grief was too painful. Thank you for listening.” He was amazed how much weight seemed to have lifted from his soul.
Ellarna felt her cheeks warming. “Why don’t we return to the Klaret for a final drink to round off a perfect day?”
“I’d like that very much. I hope I haven’t spoilt your day.”
Ellarna smiled warmly. “No, of course you haven’t. If my listening to you talking about Miranda has helped ease your troubles, then the day has been perfect enough.” She leant across and kissed him on the cheek.
Grogaan smiled. His spirit felt so much lighter, and he finally felt at peace with himself.
After treating Ellarna to a light evening meal, Grogaan took her home. Stellant City was a beautiful place and so too was her house, which was a rather palatial property located in one of the most expensive suburbs. It was a home befitting an important and influential Senator, one who was required to entertain governors and ambassadors from other worlds.
Grogaan declined the invitation to meet her parents on this particular occasion, having a long way to get home and it was getting rather late. Ellarna kissed him tenderly on his lips and said goodnight. Grogaan’s heart skipped a beat at the soft touch of her lips, and the warmth of her breath on his face.
When her soft hand stroked his cheek, he shuddered and pressed his hand against hers. As their eyes locked, both felt energy flowing through their hands, and a tingling sensation run up and down their bodies. Ellarna gazed at him curiously, but he could only smile, daring not to say anything that might spoil the moment.
She smiled, kissed him again and entered her home, leaving his speechless and elated. He felt energy flowing through him, invigorating and refreshing him in body and spirit. Unbeknown to him, it was the raw energy of magic empowering him, and awakening him to its influence.
As the weeks passed by, the relationship between Grogaan and Ellarna grew deeper and stronger. Grogaan found he was now able to control his emotions with greater ease and effect, except when he was fighting the Krelathans. In those instances, the anger and rage grew too
fast and was too powerful for him to suppress, and those emotions seemed to take control of him instead of him taking control of them.
Much to his and his friends delight, his depressive and melancholy moods no longer blighted his life. He was more joyful, relaxed and focussed in everything he did. Even his combat flying had improved, which was not easy to judge, even for those who had been flying with him for years.
There had been several days of intense fighting with the Krelathans putting a severe strain on the MDF’s resources, both in pilots and starfighters. The enemy continued to deploy larger squadrons for their raids, hoping in vain to counteract the advantage the MDF had achieved with their upgraded starfighters.
With the continued successful defence against the raiders, more young men were applying to join the Defence Academy, even though many of them believed the Krelathans would end their hostilities before they graduated.
The MDF’s main problem was a severe lack of starfighters. Although losses were minimal, supply of replacement ships remained slow. Without being able to purchase any from neighbouring systems, the MDF had to rely solely on manufacturers from Mabraant, who were attempting to increase output to meet demand.
On the positive side, the MDF was no longer short of pilots with combat experience. Every successful encounter increased their skills, confidence and determination, which in turn improved the chances of survival, and reduced the level of combat stress being experienced by those pilots.
With all MDF fighters upgraded, Kopaz Squadron became more involved with defensive operations, usually engaging in two or three every week. They even travelled to neighbouring systems on escort duty, or to assist in the defence of ships arriving in those systems.