Edward said.
“True, damn, Edward Pierce. I have to say you’re a stand up guy
with one hell of a hot wife,” Trevor said, making Edward chuckle.
“Come on, Trevor, we only a few more minutes, let’s get to the juicy stuff before he hangs up. We have a responsibility to our listeners to ask.”
“Yes, yes we do. Okay, Edward, we have to know. Does she feel as good as she looks?”
“You guys are going to get me in so much trouble,”
Edward groaned, trying not to laugh.
“Come on, please! Millions of men around the world will never experience it, you could at least let us know. Please!”
Trevor begged.
“Better.” Edward grinned.
“I knew it!” Hank yelled.
“They’re real too, right?”
“Guys, come on, I have to get going so ask better questions,” Edward said.
“Oh, I have one. This is something a lot of listeners, admittedly men, have asked. Will you consider letting Dana pose for Playboy?”
“Oh, that is a good one,” Trevor breathed excitedly.
“Hmm, let me think about that, how about
.No!”
Edward said. The men grunted and complained, making him laugh.
“Are you going to the awards show tonight?” Trevor asked.
“Yes, we’re presenting.”
“Sweet, make sure you stop and say hello to us.”
Edward looked at the clock. “Oops, guys I really have to go now.”
“Wait, can you get your wife to sign a copy of her Maxim magazine issue and send it to me?” Trevor asked.
“Me too!” Hank said eagerly.
“I tell you what, gentlemen, get me off the air right now and I will give you the number for my assistant. Give her your addresses and I’ll ask Dana.”
“Get him off the air!” Hank snapped.
In a minute he was off the air, music was playing and he was giving up Amy’s number. They thanked him for the interview and for the autographs. They begged him to bring Dana to the studio and to do an interview. He told them he would consider it, and he would. The guys were pretty decent, pigs, but decent pigs. There was a difference after all.
********
“Here we go, Elizabeth,” Edward said as he parked in front of a very prestigious brick building. Elizabeth looked up and saw they were at school so she handed back her MP3 player. She straightened her uniform and helped him carry the boxes of cookies to her class.
“Good morning, Elizabeth!” her teacher said cheerfully.
She was a fifty something year old woman who absolutely adored the children and didn’t give a rat’s ass who their parents were. All of the children were treated equally and got away with zip, which is why Edward liked this school.
“Good morning, Mrs. Goodfellow.” Elizabeth said shyly.
“Daddy brought me to school today. We brought cookies!”
“I see that. You did a good job remembering. Do me a favor, sweetie, say goodbye to Daddy and put your bag away and sit in the circle for story time. Stephanie is about ready to start,” Mrs. Goodfellow said, sending Elizabeth off, but not before she looked at Stephanie and groaned. This was clearly Mary’s sister.
It was confirmed when Edward looked at Stephanie.
The girl looked him up and down and actually licked her lips provocatively in front of the kids. She was a pretty girl, but had nothing on his Dana. She also had a bitchy look to her.
He wasn’t sure if he felt that way because he knew she was trashing his wife or he really thought she did. He didn’t care either way.
“Mrs. Goodfellow, I need to have a word with you and the principal,” Edward said.
“Oh, is there something wrong, Mr. Pierce?” she asked.
Damn if she didn’t look like his Grandmother.
“Yes, ma’am,” he said.
She nodded solemnly and picked up the receiver from the large phone on her desk. “This is Mrs. Goodfellow, can you send Mr. Paulson down here. Mr. Pierce needs to talk to us
.yes thank you.” She hung up. “Five minutes.”
“Thank you,” Edward said.
Several little girls and boys walked up to him. “Hey, I know you! You’re on the poster in my sister’s room. You’re cute!” a little girl with pig tails said.
“Yeah, my sister has his poster, too. She says she’s in love with him! But she shouldn’t because he’s Elizabeth’s daddy and her mommy is super nice!” another little girl said.
“Is Dana coming by again?” a little girl with fiery red hair asked. “She’s fun. I like it when she’s the parent helper. The babies are so cute!”
“I’ll ask her,” he said, bending down so he could talk to them.
A little boy gently grabbed his sleeve and pulled.
“What’s up little man?” he asked the adorable little boy with messy blonde hair.
“I’m going to marry Dana,” he said confidently.
“Oh, that would make me very sad, buddy. What will I do?” Edward said.
The little boy shrugged. “I’ll trade you my favorite game for her!”
“Hmm, what game?” he said, considering his choices.
“Boppy Bubbles!” the little boy replied with a firm nod.
“I don’t know. That’s a good game, but Dana cooks really well. I don’t know. What else do you have?” Edward asked.
The little boy’s face scrunched up as he thought about it.
“You can take my sister! She’s really annoying, but pretty! I wouldn’t mind making the trade, honest!”
Edward chuckled. “I’ll have to think about it.”
“Really?” the little boy grinned hugely.
“Yup, but I have to warn you she’s very strict about video game and television time, only an hour a day,” Edward said in a soft warning tone.
The boy’s face dropped. “Forget it, you can keep her!”
He stormed off.
Edward chuckled. Mrs. Goodfellow was trying her best to hide her laughter, but doing a poor job of it.
“My brother has her magazine under his bed. Why does he do that? Isn’t it going to get wrecked?” the girl with red hair asked.
“Er
.” Edward was at a loss for words.
Mrs. Goodfellow let out a snort of laughter and quickly clamped her mouth shut. She couldn’t help at the moment even if she wanted to, and he suspected she very much wanted to steer the conversation another way.
“My brother has it in his bathroom. I think he really likes the articles, because it’s worn out and he’s in there for like forever.” the little girl with pig tails announced.
“My Daddy has the magazine in his sock drawer and in the bathroom!” a little boy announced.
Edward looked up at Mrs. Goodfellow for help, but she was past being able to help. What was he supposed to say to these kids when he himself had a copy of the magazine in the bathroom, hell he had the eight by tens pinned up around his desk in the office. Dana rolled her eyes every time she looked at them. She didn’t understand because she wasn’t a guy. He liked a little eye candy now and then and she was like a freaking candy factory for him, and apparently for many of the men in these children’s lives.
“My brother’s magazine is wrecked, the pages are stuck together,” one little boy complained.
His jaw dropped.
“Oh lord,” Mrs. Goodfellow mumbled.
“They just really like the magazine. It’s very interesting.
There are a lot of good stories in it. But perhaps you shouldn’t touch them. Remember it’s not nice to touch someone’s stuff without permission,” Edward said, proud of himself that he was able to form a coherent sentence at the moment.
“He’s right, children. When we don’t ask what do we do?” Mrs. Goodfellow prompted the children.
“We ask for trouble,” they said in unison.
“Let’s go sit down,” Mrs. Goodfellow said, clasping her hands together. They turned on their heels quickly and ran to the reading circle.
“I’m sorry about that,” Edward said, feeling a little more than embarrassed that they’d been inadvertently talking about other men jerking off to his wife. It made his stomach turn when he thought about the lascivious thoughts other men had about his Dana.
“Oh, don’t be. Dana is a very beautiful woman and the article they wrote in that magazine was very nice. It’s good to see a woman struggle through hardships and come out on top,” Mrs. Goodfellow said adamantly.
“Mrs. Goodfellow?” Mr. Paulson said, popping his head into the room.
“Stephanie, can you watch the students? I’m stepping into the hall for a moment.”
She nodded and did a once over on Edward again. It made his skin crawl the way she looked at him in front of his daughter. He went into the hall. Mr. Paulson shut the door behind him. Thankfully no one else was in the hall. This was going to difficult enough to talk about without witnesses.
“What do you need to talk to us about, Mr. Pierce?” Mr.
Paulson asked politely.
“I want my daughter removed from this class,” he said.
Mrs. Goodfellow’s face dropped. “What’s wrong? I didn’t know she was upset. Is it something we can fix? I really enjoy having her in my class. She’s a bright and funny girl and goes out of her way to help with the shyer students.”
He felt bad that she’d gotten the wrong impression. “Oh, it’s nothing about you, Mrs. Goodfellow. She adores you and my wife thinks you’re the best, but as long as Stephanie is an aide in that class my child won’t be.”
Mrs. Goodfellow heaved a sigh. “I should have known she would be the cause of this. I’m really sorry, Mr. Pierce. I told her to stop harassing your daughter about you. I wrote her up several times and informed Mr. Paulson.”
He nodded. “Yes, I know about those, I’m referring to her calling my wife a whore and my sons bastards.”
She was at a loss for words, but Mr. Paulson wasn’t.
“She said what?” he asked through clenched teeth.
“Apparently Stephanie has taken issue with my family situation and has decided to use her sister Mary to confer her opinion about my wife and children,” Edward said evenly.
“I am so sorry about this, Mr. Pierce. You have to know that we do not condone this type of behavior or language,”
Mr. Paulson explained.
“That’s the only reason I’m not pulling my daughter out of this school. I am adamant about getting her away from Stephanie and her influence.”
“I don’t think it’s fair that Elizabeth be punished. She has a great deal of friends in the class. She’s such a good girl. I think what needs to happen is Stephanie should be switched with someone else,” Mrs. Goodfellow suggested.
“I don’t think so,” Mr. Paulson said sternly. “What is going to happen is she is leaving the property this minute. I will not tolerate this type of behavior from any adult. I don’t care if she is infatuated with you, Mr. Pierce, but I expect to act appropriately around the children,” he said, walking into the room without waiting for a response.
Mrs. Goodfellow squeezed his hand reassuringly. “I really am sorry, Edward.”
“That’s fine. I just want my daughter to be happy.”
“I know. You’re a good father, Edward.”
“Thank you,” he said softly. Those words meant a great deal to him.
Mr. Paulson stepped out into the hall with Stephanie.
Mrs. Goodfellow shot the girl a scowl before entering the room to watch the children.
Stephanie looked up at Edward and beamed completely ignoring Mr. Paulson. The girl was an idiot. “I saw your last movie, Edward. You were really good,” she said, biting her lip suggestively.
Edward shook his head in disgust and walked past her into the classroom. Elizabeth jumped to her feet and ran to him. “I have to go, squirt. I’ll see you later!” He picked her up and gave her a bear hug and kiss.
“Bye, Daddy!” she said, breaking free from him and running happily back to the circle. He left the classroom and found Stephanie in the hallway crying.
“That bitch had me fired? Are you kidding me?!” She stomped her foot.
“Lower your tone and watch your mouth or you’ll find yourself forcibly removed,” Mr. Paulson said, gesturing to two armed security officers who were now standing in the hallway.
She looked at Edward and rolled her eyes. “I can’t believe that bitch has you pussy whipped.”
“That’s it! Get her out of my sight!” Mr. Paulson said, turning his back on her and storming down the hall.
Edward watched as they dragged Stephanie out of building. He left by a different exit. There was nothing like a pissed off female fan to do something stupid. He was kicking himself for not waiting for Bret to come with him this morning.
Thankfully she wasn’t waiting for him. Several voice mails on his cell phone however were. He went through them, one from Dana telling him he sounded sexy on the radio, two from Amy flipping out and demanding to know why he didn’t give her a head’s up, one from Lucas informing him that it sounded like Dana was faking it, his parents called upset, and to top it off Eric called telling him he was stopping by the house this afternoon to go over some “things” with them.
He called back his wife. Dana’s happiness was the most important thing to him. If she was upset his day would be ruined, not because she would act like a bitch, far from it. If she was happy he was happy and the same could be said if she was sad.
“Hey, handsome!” she said sweetly.
“Hey, beautiful, I just got your message.”
“Oh, you didn’t have to call back I just wanted to tell you that you sounded very sexy.”
“Hmm, sexy, interesting.”
“How did it go at school?” she asked, trying to change the subject before this turned into phone sex, which did happen on occasion with them.
“They fired her. She flipped out. Good times,” he said dryly.
“I would say I’m sorry, but I’m not. She shouldn’t be around children if she’s using a six year old girl to air her grievances,” Dana said. “No, Cole, Daddy has a busy day.
No, I will not ask him.”
“What does he want to know?” Edward asked.
“He wants to know if you can come get him for some man time,” she said.
“I don’t mind some company. Is Brett there?”
“Yup. Oh, before I forget to tell you, Eric’s coming by later. He wants to talk to both of us. I guess we both know what about,” she said casually.
“I got a message from him as well. That’s fine. What time am I needed there?”
“One, I’ll make us a late lunch,” she said.
“Homemade macaroni and cheese?” he suggested eagerly.
He could picture her rolling her eyes. “You’re spoiled.”
“Yes, I am. Have Cole ready in ten minutes, please. I’m on my way now.”
“Okay, love you, baby,” Dana said.
“Not as much as I love you.”