things that were a good deal worse than he could've expected. But that flame of hope within wouldn't die, no matter how small it got.
"Did you ever come back to this church?" Doc asked me as we followed the kids into the parking lot.
"For a time," I told him. "I wanted to believe that I could make friends eventually. There was a voice inside that kept telling me I needed to be patient and keep putting myself out there. I grew to hate that voice after a while."
"What did you find when you returned?"
"More disappointment," I answered. "C'mon, I'll show you."
To this day, it still bugs me. I realize that teenagers are still growing both in maturity and morals, but Pastor Eric should've at least supervised them to curb the more crude and vulgar discussions. But then, his own morality in reference to more sensitive subjects left a bit to be desired. It is no wonder that people have the opinions they do about Christians when so many churches are spreading prejudiced perceptions such as these.
Oh well. He gave me a Bible before I left. At least I got that.
The next memory, of course, was the Sunday service when the skits took place. I got up early and left home before Mom and Dad even rolled out of bed that day. I didn't know anything about church service, so I wore some old jeans and a sweatshirt. Ended up feeling pretty out of place.
Herbie sat in the last pew at the end of the row. The choice had placed him right beside the sanctuary doors. That way, if he started to feel uncomfortable, he could get outside and away from everyone with relative ease.
"You look like a nervous wreck," Doc said. We had chosen seats of our own near the far wall where few people sat. The only doors on that side were emergency exits. Best of all, we could just blend into the crowd without needing the invisibility belts.
"Which one of me?" I asked. If anything, I would've bet money that I was more nervous than Herbie.
Apparently, Doc didn't agree. "Herbie," he said. "I can see him shaking from here."
I glanced over at my former self. "It's funny. Despite what happened at the youth group, I still expected everyone to be warm and friendly. But at the same time, I was terrified that some random strangers were going to try to talk to me. The more I had withdrawn into my solitary shell, the less of a conversationalist I became. I would get so nervous and flustered that I wouldn't know what to say."
"But isn't that why you were here to begin with?" Doc asked me. "To get to know people and try to build friendships?"
"Yes, but that didn't take away the fear. I wanted to make friends and find some sort of acceptance, but I was afraid I was going to be disappointed again."
The fears were unnecessary. Aside from the few polite smiles he got from people scooting past to open sections of the pews, Herbie's presence went largely ignored. Even when he finally spotted Jenna, the girl wearing the pink sweater from youth group, she didn't so much as smile or wave, despite making solid eye contact.
"Why didn't you say anything to anyone?" Doc asked. "Comment on someone's hair. Ask how long they'd attended. Just say hello!"
"Between my years of school, my differences with my parents, and the fresh memory of youth group in my mind, my confidence was shot. I couldn't bring myself to step out onto the metaphorical ledge.
"Do you think things might have been different if you had spoken up?"
I shrugged. "Don't know. Part of me believed that it was arrogant for people to exclude and ignore me. But then, looking back on it, they might have thought the same of me."
"Introverted people often appear arrogant to the unsuspecting world. But you can change that."
The sermon, taught by Pastor Rick Adams, was interesting. It was about the trials that Job faced when God allowed Satan to take everything—his family, his home, livestock—just to prove that Job's faith would never falter. I remember thinking that must have been the kind of faith that Pastor Eric had been talking about in youth group. I couldn't imagine going through such trials without losing faith that God was taking care of me.
I realize that the lesson of Job teaches that God's purpose for us is not only more important than our own selfish desires but also the best thing for us regardless of whether or not we see it. Every Christian will be the first to say that Job's example is one that all of us should follow. Very few, if any, would say the same if placed in his shoes. Or sandals. Whatever.
Then came the skits. This was what I'd been waiting to see. Would they go through with the crass generalization of homosexuals? It should've been expected that a church would have more respect than to use an overly animated and excessively exaggerated actor to play the part of the sinner in the situation. But I've come to learn that many churches are more concerned with grabbing people's attention than being biblically correct.
The first two skits were forgettable. One told the story of a small boy who was ridiculed for being short. But instead of letting their words hurt him, he used his stature in several predictably comedic ways. The point, obviously, was not to let our differences get us down because each one is an advantage that we have over the rest of the world.
The second story was about a bunch of boys in the gym locker room who discovered that one of their classmates had a problem with body odor. They rigged up a couple of pranks before he returned, including a couple of fresh sticks of deodorant in his locker and a bucket of soapy water above it. The boys hid before he could return, and quite unrealistically, he laughed hysterically when the bucket of water dumped all over him. He laughed again when he found the deodorant and held them up to the sky like an adventurer who just found a magic potion. The idea of that one was that being able to laugh at yourself can get you through difficult situations.
The third and final skit was the one I'd been waiting for. Tom, Shanna, Kesha, Erin, Mike, and James filed onto the stage. The girls were all wearing cheerleader's uniforms while each of the guys wore their high school jackets. I could also see Theo to the side of the stage. He was dressed in a sparkling pink dress and a flowing blond wig. Great, so he was not only going to play a homosexual character, but a cross-dressing one as well?
"This is going to make me cringe, isn't it?" Doc asked me.
"The other two didn't?"
The girls lined up beside each other with their backs to the audience and the boys off to the side. They pretended they were at their lockers, and when Pastor Eric gave them the cue from the side of the stage, the scene began.
Shanna launched into her lines, practically yelling across the church. "Can you believe that guy who came to youth group last week?"
"How could he even leave his house looking like that?" Kesha asked, taking great care to emphasize every time the pitch of her voice changed.
Erin closed her imaginary locker and picked up what I could only assume were imaginary books. "At least he won't be back. Pastor won't let someone like that come to our church again!"
Shanna stuck her nose in the air. "I don't see why he let that weirdo inside in the first place."
Wow.
"You know how those gays are," Erin said, shaking her head in disgust. "They think they have the right to do anything that normal people do."
Just . . . Wow.
At this point, the men walked in, laughing as though one of them had just told a great joke. Mike waved when he looked at the girls. "Afternoon, ladies." Seeing the disgusted looks on their faces, his smile disappeared. "Something seems to be bothering you. Would you like to talk about it?"
Seriously, who wrote this?
"We were just talking about that guy Theo that came to youth group." Kesha let out a disgusted snort. "Seems like they let anyone in these days."
"Oh, you mean the queen in the skirt?" Tom asked with a laugh. He and James slapped hands.
"Hey, I bet he's at home doing his nails right now!" James put in. "Maybe trying on a new bra!" Everyone started laughing. Everyone except Mike.
"Come on, guys!" he sa
id, using the most serious face and voice he could put together. "Let's not be mean to him. He's got feelings, too."
Shanna shook her head. "Who cares? That homo needs to stay away from us!"
Cue Theo.
His clicking heels echoed as he stepped onto stage. The audience chuckled softly as he tried his best to look natural in his costume. He had obviously taken Pastor Eric's advice to heart; he walked with one hand out to the side, pinky in the air. The other hand was planted firmly on his hip. Disgustingly, he added an extra jiggle to his rear as he walked. Batting giant eyelashes, he smiled through ruby red lipstick. "Hey guys!!" He drew out the word "guys" so that it lasted a good four seconds. Then he emphasized every other word. "What is up with ya'll?"
"How's it going, Hotness?" Tom bit his lip as he said it.
Theo's character didn't realize it had been sarcastic. He opened his mouth in a wide smile. "You know what they say," he began, bending down and running his hands down his legs suggestively. "You're only as hot as the heat you give off!"
What? Wait, what did that even mean?
"But seriously, ya'll!" Theo went on. "I'm super excited because there's a big sale at the mall! Every designer purse is half-off! What do you say ladies, you want to come with me and get in on this fashion action?"
Each of the girls was doing their best to look both annoyed and disgusted, scrunching their noses and shaking their heads. With the exception of Mike, the guys were