Page 10 of Toast


  Chapter 10

  What is wrong with this scene?

  I wake up with the late morning sun in my eyes. I look out my Venetian doors at the bright blue sky. This makes me feel so much better. Although it's winter I'm contemplating just lying on the deck in shorts and a t-shirt. I haven't sun-baked for a while. But then again, I really want to go and have coffee with Nat. We haven't caught up properly for a while. I feel kind of bad for blowing her off so much. I have hardly any time between my part time job, basketball training and matches. My schedule is so busy. Plus, I have to go to mum's house every second weekend. Look at me! I keep making excuses for why I can't manage to scrape up the time to see my best friend, but I still manage to go and hang with the skater group.

  I really need to make it up to her. Maybe we can go ice skating or something? I'll walk to her house later and see what her family's doing. I haven't actually met one of her brothers even though I've been friends with her for so long. He's a year older than us but he's in the same year level as us at school. He drives a car and she says he's a major emo/punk. He skateboards and is hardly ever at home. When we were younger if he found out that I was coming over he would ask his brother if he could give him a lift to one of his friends' places. I think he must really hate me because when Nat and I are together, we are really loud.

  I've met her oldest brother and he's really toast. He has his own apartment but he always comes home on Saturdays to eat with the family. He's in university studying for a journalism degree as well as a Bachelor of Arts. Apparently he's a really good painter. He always looks so toast in casual clothes and I saw him in a suit once and I swear he can make any suit look toast. He's altogether a really toast guy.

  I pick out my clothes. I feel more girly today, so I pull out my heels, my navy skinny leg jeans and a low cut tight fitting white long tank top. I pick up my black leather jacket on the way out as well as my keys and mobile. And then I walk out of the house making sure the door is locked behind me.

  I stroll down to the bus stop and wait. On the weekends I don't mind waiting for the bus. I try calling her mobile but Nat's not answering. Maybe she's still asleep. The whirring of the bus tires and the hiss of the suspension call me out of my wandering thoughts. I get on the bus and sit in my usual seat in the middle. I watch the stop before Nat's house go by then I hop off the bus and walk to her house.

  It's only about a one block walk before I reach her house. Opening the gate I realise something is different. There's a blue Subaru WRX parked in the drive way; her older brother must be home. I knock on the door hoping her mum will answer.

  The door swings open and I'm confronted with an unshaven and half naked…Josh! What the…? Why's Josh here? Since when has Nat known Josh?

  "How do you know where my house is?" Wow, that's my question, how do you know where Nat's house is?

  "Oh. My. God! You're Nat's brother!" I cannot believe this, Nat's brother is Josh? This is just too spooky. "I'm kind of freaked right now, so I'm going to go home!" I turn around to leave but Josh grabs my arm.

  "You're spooked? Hello, I just opened the door to a girl I tried to kiss yesterday! And then she turns out to be my sister's best friend!" he looks at me and sighs, "Plus, I look like a mess. I haven't shaved and I'm only half dressed! How embarrassing! Nathalie's going to laugh at me now. I bet she set this whole thing up!"

  "You don't look that bad. Come on, it could be a lot worse!"

  "How could it possibly get worse?"

  "You could be not wearing any clothes at all!" I love teasing him. After all, I have the upper hand here.

  "Yeah true, but I'm not so sure that would be a bad thing…" he looks at me slyly, "Anyways, I think Nat was the one who orchestrated this one. She told me when you started at school, to ‘Make friends with the new girl, you'll like her!’ and ‘Ask her to go to the movies with you, she would like that!’

  "So, was she the one to say ‘try kissing the new girl you might like that!’?"

  "No way…? That was all me. After the whole thing at your house I came home and then an hour later her phone started ringing. She was out with her friends so I answered because it just kept going. It's a really annoying girly ring tone too. Anyways, I guess that was you?"

  "Yeah, why didn't you recognise it was me? I said my name! But you didn't."

  "Well, you said Kayley Jenson, and I didn't recognise it. You should know that I never pay attention in English. Why do you think I tap my pen on the table?"

  "Ah, right! The pen thing…so this is sufficiently awkward."

  "Yeah, do you want to come inside? I must say I do like your clothes even when you're not wearing skater clothes." I walk inside behind him. He is really muscular. I really want to reach out and trace all the lines of his muscles!

  "Uh, thanks. Nat and I bought this jacket last time we went shopping. It was a great bargain!" I can tell he doesn't have a clue about shopping things. "You know it's kind of weird meeting you for the first time as Nat's brother!"

  "Yeah… Likewise, I was always going out when you were arriving so I never got a chance to meet this amazing KJ." Oh right, Nat calls me KJ.

  "So…where's Nat?" I want to go and talk to her about everything. "I really need to talk to her about some things…"

  "Ah, the mysterious things…Nathalie went out with some of her friends about an hour ago, she told me to tell you, ‘Can we hold coffee off till next weekend?’. If I had known it was you, I would have told her that you really need her right now!" he blushes slightly.

  "Uh…thanks? I think? I think I might just go home. Maybe go shopping or something…" There's nothing I can do at home. It's too cold to jump into the pool and Dad has a hangover.

  "Maybe we could go and have a coffee. After all, I know the situation you're in right now. Plus, I'm pretty handy when it comes to shopping. I'm good at carrying bags." He looks just a bit shy. I've never seen a guy act so nice before.

  "Yeah, that might help. Thanks! I need some retail therapy." This might actually be helpful. Besides, who wouldn't mind shopping with a hot guy?

  "Um…I think I might get dressed first." His cheeks become a tad pinker. He nods slightly towards his room.

  "Yeah, I think you might need to wear proper clothes if you're going to come shopping with me. Plus, I think you might need to shave as well because the whole 'rugged look doesn't suit you." I smile sweetly at him, "Actually, now that I think about it, it does actually suit you, but if you're all rugged I'm not going to be the hot one out of us two." Wow I sound really shallow right now.

  "Yeah, we wouldn't want that to happen. Can't have you second best to a rugged hot guy!" he smiles. Apparently teasing me is really fun! Well, I can have just as much fun as he can.

  "Yeah, but then again in this jacket I beat your hotness ten to one! So suck on that!" I tilt my head to the side and poke my tongue out at him.

  "Hey! That's so not true. I definitely beat you by far. I'm so much hotter then you are!" he looks at me as if he's saying oh puh-lease!

  "In your dreams, Mr I'm Too Sexy for My Shorts! I so beat you. I can beat you with my eyes closed!" I smile at him sweetly. I'm waiting for him to admit that I am the hottest one here.

  "Okay, okay! You win, oh Holy Hot Kaila. You win. You're the hottest girl ever!" he smiles at me evilly though, as if he has something up his sleeve.

  "Thank you, I thought you would come to my side." Grinning at him, I look at his face and realise he doesn't look like he means it.

  "It's such a shame that you're just, the hottest girl ever. Not the hottest woman ever!" he smiles at me knowingly.

  "Why you little…! You are such a pain! Why can't you just admit it?" I say mock angrily. I playfully look at him. Wow, he is really good at teasing people. Nat and Josh must have a lot of fun together. I don't have this type of relationship with my brother. He's too busy running away from our parents to have fun with me. The only time we get along is when we are at school because he thinks all the girls dig the nice, caring old
er brother! If I told Alex how he acts at school she would be so majorly peeved!

  "Never will I ever admit it. You would be waiting a long time for me to admit it! I will never admit it not unless… you agree to be my girlfriend!?" He looks at me cheekily.

  "Funny. Very funny! That was the best joke you have ever made Mr I'm Too Sexy for My Shorts!" I say sarcastically, "Let me think about that one….Okay I've thought about it! Um…that would be a no!" I say with serious ’tude, I look at him equally cheeky.

  "Very well then…then I must say, I still don't admit that you are the hottest thing in heels," he says as if he is admitting it, but not admitting it at the same time.

  "Well then, I do not admit that you are the hottest rugged looking person ever…Not that I think looking rugged is hot," I innocently say. I look him in the eyes and see his laughing gaze look back at me. We both burst out laughing.

  "Well that was certainly very interesting!" he nods in the direction of his room, "You can wait in my room while I go shave and get dressed in the bathroom, or you could sit out here and watch TV or something, I'm sure my brother Ricki will wake up and keep you company." I watch him stand there nervously suggesting things I could do.

  "It's cool. I'll wait in your room for you. Besides, you're the mysterious brother that I have no idea about, so I might do some snooping around." Smiling sweetly I nod towards his room.

  "Ah, ok. Um, warning you right now, my room is kind of messy…" he sneaks another nervous glance towards me.

  "It's cool. It can't be anywhere as messy as Mitch's room. Seriously, his room is messy!" I smile at him warmly.

  "Yeah, well, don't expect too much. Don't snoop too much…you might find something you might not want to find." He smiles wickedly at me. Oh, so he has some of those things in his room.

  "I'm not going to look in that much detail…" I smile at him innocently.

  "Yeah, yeah, that's what they all say!" he starts walking towards the door. Opening the door he turns back to me and smiles invitingly at me before he walks through the doorway. I'm guessing I should probably follow him, even though I already know my way around the house. I step through the doorway and watch his retreating figure. He walks with languid ease. Now that I think about it, so do Nat and Ricki. It's kind of what attracts people to them. It's their natural ease around people, coupled with their easy going attitude. They are all just so easy to get along with. Well, Josh is the exception. Sometimes he's easy to get along with, but it depends on the situation.

  I pick up my pace and walk steadily towards his room. It dawns on me…I am walking towards Josh's room! His room! My god, could I be more stupid than this? Is it even possible to be stupider? Like come on Kaila! What the hell do you think you're doing? It's his room, and then I remember the whole fiasco in the cinema. I am in such a stupid mess. Oh well I'll just try and act normal. My feet carry me to the door and I am already reaching for the door handle before I even realise what I am doing!

  "KJ, what are you doing?" I spin around to see Ricki standing sleepily in his doorway.

  "Um…I'm waiting for Josh…" did that sound as lame as I thought it did? I'm pretty sure it was even lamer than I thought it was.

  "How do you know Josh? Aren't you friends with Nat? What do you have to do with him?" Okay, what a really awkward situation this is! Like, could this get any worse?

  "We go to the same school…." I begin but the door swings open and Josh slips his arm around my waist.

  "Hey bro was sup? Yeah this is Kai, she's Nat's friend but she's my girl as well. Is that too hard to believe? I know you've had a crush on her for like, forever, but you're way too old for her, so just let me snatch her away!" Ricki looks at him like he wants to punch the lights out of his brother. He looks at my confused expression and laughs at Josh.

  "Next time you want to claim a girl as yours, Brother, you should probably let her know first!" he laughingly looks at his brother, then he glances back at me, "So you and this thing go to the same school? Worse, you're in the same year level, right? I feel for you, KJ, he's such a pain. He must annoy you quite a lot, especially with his habit of tapping pens on tables." I nod at his assumptions.

  "Yeah, he's kind of a bit of a pain… The whole pen tapping thing makes me peeved, but no way could I make him stop it. I think he finds it fun to make people annoyed. Yeah, we're in the same year level. Worse yet, we're in the same social group! You're right about another thing, if he really wants to claim someone he probably should tell her before he tells someone, maybe his brother, that they're together." I say suggestively.

  Josh looks at me slightly confused at what I'm saying, "Are you telling me you like me just as friends?" I shrug nonchalantly but my heart is hammering against my rib cage, how can I say such a blatant lie to his face?

  "Looks like you got duped, Bro! But then again, all women are like this; telling you one thing, but thinking something else altogether." Ricki says, looking steadily at me while he says it.

  "Yeah, you're so right, Bro! No way would she actually think that I'm not boyfriend material! I am, like, the coolest guy at school! Who wouldn't want that?" Josh looks at me speculatively.

  "You're so right, Josh, who wouldn't want to date the hottest guy at their school? Just about all of Nat's friends are in love with you! Who wouldn't want such a hot and arrogant guy? Kaila, do you know anyone who doesn't want to date him?" he says sarcastically.

  "You are so right, Brother, no girl could resist this hot and arr-…hang on! I'm not arrogant!! Did you just insult me?" Josh says angrily.

  "I believe I just did, Little Brother. Do you have anything to say about it?" Man Oh Mighty, they both look so cool when they're teasing each other.

  "Yeah, I have something to say about it, but because we are in the presence of a lady, I don't think it would be suitable," he says mock gentle manly.

  "Boys, boys... Boys! Seriously guys, there is enough of me to go around!" I say cheekily. Their faces are so priceless. Josh looks like someone just threw a surprise punch at his face and Ricki looks like he's stunned. If he was one of those cartoon characters, his jaw would be on the ground and his tongue would be rolling across the ground.

  "I think I might be falling in love with this girl!" Ricki blinks rapidly, looking supremely surprised.

  "Don't even think about it. She's so mine!" Josh says glaring at his brother. I can just feel the testosterone levels boiling around me. Since when have I been so attractive to the opposite gender? It's kind of weirding me out!

  "Boys, seriously, I'm no one's I belong to myself and I decide who I like, so can we please bring the testosterone levels down, it's kind of creeping me out…ok?" I take a step forward so I'm standing in the exact centre between them. Looking up at Josh I realise he's still glaring at Ricki, I turn towards Ricki and realise he's glaring back at Josh. "Come on guys! This is starting to get old, like this moment is so totally five minutes ago!" I say mimicking those blonde popular girls from American teen flicks.

  "Fine, but I will definitely find a way for you to agree to go out with me!" he says glaring over the top of my head at Ricki.

  "Yeah say that to the hand because the face isn't listening!" I say using my rock star attitude.

  "You say that now, Kaila, but eventually you will succumb to me and when that moment comes I will run down all the corridors at school shouting 'Kayley Daniela Jenson just agreed to go out with me!!' And everyone will be like good for you man, you finally captured the heart of the girl of your dreams!" He says dramatically.

  "In your dreams, buster, if you get me to agree to go out with you, I will announce over the loudspeaker 'I, Kayley Daniela Jenson have decided to go out with Joshua Charlie Jamieson!' And all the girls will be like you brat he was so mine! You can't just waltz in here and claim him as yours! And I will be like just watch me!" I say posing with my hand on my hip.

  "We all know, brother, Kaila secretly wants to be with me, it's just a matter of time before she realises that I'm wide open for her taki
ng." Ricki teasingly says but the problem is that I can't tell whether he is teasing Josh or whether he's being serious.

  "Can you call me when I'm supposed to say that, because I'll make sure you go through to voicemail, alright?" I dispassionately say.

  "Nice! Kaila, you sure got him where it hurts there!!" Josh says giving me a high five at the same time.

  "Yeah, you're right Josh. She does know to get me where it hurts! You got a keeper there Josh. But I'm warning you now. Don't let Nat know you have a crush on one of her friends…" Ricki says secretively.

  "By the way weren't you going to have a shower?" I remind Josh.

  "Yeah, but you come in here first!" Josh pulls me into his room and shuts the door quickly behind me. I can feel his breath on my forehead, I'm acutely aware of where his hands are on the door behind me. If he moved his hand over a little bit more his arm would be brushing up against my face. How could I refuse this languid kind of man? He's so sexy in so many ways! But it's not right for me to think this way when he still has a girlfriend. "Don't talk to my brother ever again!" he says domineeringly.

  "Why? He's pretty cool!" I say distractedly, oh my god, he smells so good. Even though it looks like he hasn't washed for a while he still smells so good, how can that be? I can see his perfectly sculpted biceps and abdomen without the annoyances of clothing, I can see his defined muscles carved down to his hips but his pants are blocking the rest. I want to see the rest. The faultlessness of the lines of his stature is driving me insane. I want to see it all I want to draw it all. I want to…stop right there! I sound like some perverted teenager! Since when have I been so sexually orientated?

  "Kaila! Kaila? Hey are you even listening to me?" Josh says finally breaking through my reverie of his body.

  "Uh yeah, I've been loo…I mean listening to you! Definitely I would never get distracted by something as petty as muscle definition, never! Nu uh! Not me!" I hurriedly say, spitting out the words before I realise what I'm saying. Yeah smooth mover there! That was so smooth it had turbulence.

  "So little miss perfect has been checking out my body? Well how could you avoid the inevitable sexiness of my muscles?" Josh says cupping my face in his hands and bringing me closer to his face. "Have you finished perving yet?"

  "WHAT? I was so not perving! You're imagining things! Yep! All that arrogance is taking its toll on you!" I splutter. I can feel him breathing on my face. How does this guy who is so full of himself, make me want him so badly? Despicable, but so hot!

  "You were so perving! You were perving so badly I was nearly drowning in your drool!" He says matter-of-factly looking me in the eyes. I can't help but look at his lips, I feel like my eyes are magnetised to them.

  "As if I would want to check your body out, and btw I was so not drooling. I do not drool!" I say haughtily. He pulls my face closer to him, all the time looking me in the eyes. God he's handsome.

  "Kaila, I know you want me." Josh sighs into my ear. He moves his face closer to mine, sighing his lips over mine gently kissing my face and neck.

  "Josh, please don't. You have a girlfriend, I'm sorry but we can't." I whisper, my voice sounds so rugged. I can't do this, I just can't, he has a girlfriend I'm not going to ruin that relationship. If he wants to break up with her, he should do it himself instead of using me as an excuse. This isn't what I want, he's one of my friends and he knows about my family. He's my best friend's brother. I can't do this to Nat she's been my friend since year seven I can't ruin that type of relationship. For all I know Josh could just be using me to break up with his girlfriend and I don't want to do that.

  I've decided I'm going to give up on Josh. This is an unfair thing to ask of him, he can't love me when he is already in a relationship. Plus I don't want to have rumours spread around about me. He's not meant to be mine, although this is unfair, I still don't want anything to happen, even though I can't help but respond to him. I don't mean anything to him, he's just using me.

  "Josh, stop already, I've had enough. I'm going home." I push him away from me, I suppose maybe I should have slapped him but pushing him was enough for me. He stumbles and trips on something on the floor and falls to the ground right on his pretty arse, what a shame, not. I look at him scowling like a child on the floor and turn my back on him. I run out of his room as quickly as my jilted legs can handle, I think my body has turned to jelly can that even happen? I slam the door behind me as I wobble out of his room. I turn to leave when I notice that Ricki has opened his door, seeing my angry expression and angry glares at Josh's door shakes his head as if he knew that was going to happen.

  I'm half way down the hallway when I hear Ricki call out to me, "Hey KJ, wait up! I'll give you a lift home." I turn around so that I can see his face. He looks really worried about me. You know he's always been a really caring brother to Nat, unlike some people I know!

  "Ok. That would be greatly appreciated Ricki." I gratefully accept the offer. I don't feel up to riding the bus anyway. Josh is a dick after all!

  "Anytime Kaila, you know I would do anything for you." He says quietly, yeah I do know that he would do anything for me he's like another older brother to me. Actually he's more of a brother than Mitch is sometimes, sure we get along really well but he doesn't really care about me.

  "You know, you're a really nice guy Ricki. I wish Josh would follow your example." I look at the ground before I add softly, "He's such a rotten guy, never listens to what I say." I know I shouldn't be complaining to Ricki about his younger brother, but what else can I do?

  "Yeah, I agree he is a little bit rotten sometimes, but he's still very popular believe it or not. I guess that is just his charm." Ricki sighs then gestures towards the door. "We should get going before Nat comes back, that would be a very awkward moment if she returned before you left."

  "Yeah, that would be just too weird. I don't think I could ever tell her that I was kissing Josh." I turn towards Ricki. He's so kind always looking after me like I'm his little sister. "Thank you for being so kind to me. You don't have to do this, yet you're always there for me."

  "That's what friends do KJ, sometimes we need someone to come and save us. I guess right now that means I'm saving you." Ricki calmly says walking towards the door.

  "Yeah, I guess you're right there. I realise I need to be saved a lot more frequently these days. You know, you're a really nice guy, you're easy to talk to as well." I shyly point out to him. I follow him out the door and down the drive way to his car. He owns a silver Lancer, it suits my impression of him. He pulls out his keys and throws them at me. What does he expect me to do with them?

  "You're driving KJ, I know you have your learners permit and I have a licence, so you can drive. Besides you haven't been behind the wheel of a car in a while, right?" Ricki says shrugging his shoulders.

  "I don't know…but you're right about one thing, I haven't been behind the wheel in a long time." I look at the car wistfully, it's just so tempting.

  "Go on KJ! It'll be fun, especially for me to see you freak out." He says mockingly.

  "I'll make you eat your words Ricki. I'm not as bad as you think I am." I say annoyed at his mocking.

 
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