Chapter Seven

  Work

  Over the next couple of days, I continued to think very seriously about the possibility of stripping. Every time I stepped out of the shower, I carefully examined my body. For a woman who’d had three children, I wasn’t in bad shape. Regular exercise and being usually careful to avoid any kind of junk food, had helped me stay trim. There were a few silvery stretch marks around my hips, but they were barely noticeable. After prodding my butt, I discovered a little wobble, but it was still pretty firm. Most of my skin was healthily bronzed by the summer sun, and the problem of paler patches could be easily solved with a little spray tan.

  With the help of more make-up than I’d usually wear and the right outfit, I didn’t think I’d look out of place in one of the more upmarket clubs. The more I thought, the more I became convinced not only that I could do it, but that it also offered me the escape route I needed.

  As my interest refused to wane, I went back onto the internet and began scouting for clubs in various cities around the state. I was surprised by the large number of so-called gentleman’s clubs. Most of their websites offered a section for ‘career opportunities’ and stressed that they were always looking for new talent. One page provided potential customers with a gallery of their dancers. Out of curiosity, I browsed the girls noting that many of them linked to their own websites.

  Clicking on a blonde named, ‘Snow’, I was intrigued as to why a stripper would need a website. It turned out, Snow was a savvy business woman. She worked in a number of clubs and also offered private services in both dancing and escorting. Not only was she gaining some job security by diversifying, but also making a lot more money. With one night of escorting, she was earning what the average stripper gets in a week.

  Closing the browser, I thought no more about it. At least, I wasn’t aware of thinking about it. But as I lay in bed that night, my eyes wide open and focused on shadows that played across the ceiling, I continued to think about Snow and what she chose to do for a living. Sure, it was prostitution, and yet it was a very different world to the streetwalking variety.

  Two things quickly occurred to me. One, if I stayed with Paul, I was going to be prostituting myself anyway. And two, men who hire escorts are much more likely to be discreet than men who go to strip joints.

  Shaking my head, I couldn’t quite believe the conclusions I was reaching. But one after another, I kept producing reasons why a brief career as an escort would be a good idea. I’d only have to work one night per week; I wouldn’t have to take my clothes off in front of a room full of people; I could be selective over my clients and where I met them, ensuring I was always out of town.

  But, I quickly slammed on the breaks of my runaway train of thought, there was the one huge sacrifice I would need to make. I would need to be prepared to allow complete strangers to use my body for their sexual pleasure. Was that something I could do? Was it something I would be able to live with afterward? The truth was, I didn’t know.

  However, there were only two alternatives; continue with the sham that was my marriage or leave Paul and accept that he would fight to take primary custody of our kids. I knew without any equivocation that I could live with neither of those things. The possible fallout may have been a complete unknown, but the fear of what might happen was far less than the dread of playing the dutiful wife to a man I no longer respected, trusted or loved.

  Unable to close my eyes, I pushed the covers off the bed and sat up. “I can try,” I mumbled beneath my breath. “Just once.”

  Slipping off the bed, I tiptoed in the darkness to the computer and once more turned it on. If I’d made up my mind, I told myself, then I might as well get the ball rolling.

  I wouldn’t be able to set up my own site, at least not one in which I used a photograph, as there was too much chance of Paul, his parents, our friends and God knew who else seeing it. Instead, I’d need to use classified ads. There were several sites that would allow me to post free ones and there were a couple of message boards that offered a forum for escorts and potential clients to communicate.

  After having read several other ads, I began to get a gist for the basic format and the kind of things that were important to customers. It took me almost an hour to write my own pitch, it was only 100 words long, but I struggled with the tone, wanting to get the right balance between classy and alluring. It’s difficult enough to sell yourself for a regular job, when you’re quite literally selling yourself, a personal statement (even a very short one) becomes incredibly hard.

  However, by the time dawn broke, I had advertised myself on a total of five websites and had set up a new email account for the purpose.

  Given the sheer number of young women who seemed to be trying to get work in exactly the same way, I didn’t hold out much hope of hearing from anyone in the near future. In fact, regardless of the large amounts of money that could be made, I was beginning to wonder whether I would be able to make anything at all. There seemed to be a disproportionately large supply compared with demand.

  Deciding that I would give the ads a couple of weeks, I determined to worry about a ‘Plan B’ only after that time had elapsed.

  In the meantime, I had to go back to being a mom; there were children that needed to be woken, fed and shipped off to school.