take a full shower to get rid of everything, it was because of this that she had felt an emotion. She looked up and knew she needed to go back home right away, the emotions were coming back and it was scaring her. He was making her feel nervous and she needed to get rid of that. She grabbed her bag and said “I need to go, I’ll see you later perhaps?”
He smiled genuinely and gave her his card, “Call me?, I’ll see you at the office tomorrow too but call me okay?” She replied a hurried okay and went out. She reached her home and before anything else she striped off her clothes and jumped into the shower to get rid of any remains of nervousness he had made her feel.
She saw him the next day as well and yet again he made her go get coffee after office hours. Today she felt nothing. She wondered why Michael liked her, how could he even keep chatting animatedly to her and not see that she did not feel anything while she was with him. He was in city for a few months and maybe even longer so he was looking for an apartment he told her.
Pretty soon it started to look like a tradition of getting coffee together after office. It stopped looking like a tedious forced detour like it seemed at first, she found herself impartial to the ritual. He seemed nice. Rare days when she was running late or did not have time to shower she felt the same shudder she had felt the first day with him. She knew he liked her because she sometimes caught him staring at her when she was pouring sugar in her coffee or he simply thought she would not notice.
He was becoming a part of her daily routine, he had seemed to find a way into her life and as a missing puzzle piece he seemed to fit very comfortably.
It was a Friday when the worst she could have ever imagined happened, the plumbing in her bathroom broke and water stopped.
She stood in the door of the bathroom and she wondered what was the amount of feelings that she was not feeling right now, and worst part of it all was the fact that if she did not get it fixed, she would actually get a chance to find out.
She told Michael that she could not go get coffee today as she had a home errand to run which could not wait. He asked what it was and she told him, he offered to help and said he might know what was wrong as he had some experience from his university days he said, Felicity tried to refuse but he would listen to none of it. Together they went to her home and called the plumber while Michael himself tried to tinker away trying to impress felicity.
After sometime he laughed and gave up “Okay, I have NO idea what is wrong” he laughed.
Felicity smiled at him and said “Well, I did tell you to wait for the plumber didn’t I?
He smiled at her “ I love your smile you know that?, you should do it more” He said,
“You only think it’s pretty because I don’t smile much, less you see it the more pretty you think it is” she smiled some more as she explained,
“Oh Is that so?” he asked looking genuinely interested, he made his way to the sofa where felicity was sitting and sat on the coffee table in front of her.
“Yes, that’s exactly so” she smiled,
“well, I never said it was pretty I just said I loved it” he said mischievously,
Felicity uttered an “Oh” and looked down; she had thought it was implied.
He cupped her face in his hands and laughed, “I’m joking! Your smile is REALLY pretty” he said.
Never had she ever encountered such a scenario in her life where she hadn’t the slightest idea what was happening. she usually had at least observed real life people in a similar situations but this was all new. she remembered some movies that had such scenes but she was not stupid enough to think this was anything near romance, but before she could speculate more on the situation she was in, he leaned in and pressed his lips to hers, answering her unasked question about where they both stood in each other’s lives. She felt the same twinge in her stomach she always felt when she was with him on the waterless rare days.
The plumber came and rang the bell exactly at the moment and they drew away.
Michael frowned as felicity got up to open the door to let the plumber in. The plumber got to work as Michael and Felicity waited in the living room.
“If you didn’t like it I won’t do it again, I won’t say I’m sorry but yea ill keep my paws off” Michael ventured,
“No, it’s okay really” felicity answered him, he smiled at her and took her hand in his,
“Okay, so I will be trying again in the future just so you know” felicity laughed and said “Okay, but there might be no plumbers intruding then”
“I’m counting on it” he grinned.
An hour passed and the plumber came out and announced that he will have to get a few more supplies and only then he could fix the water, until then she would have to do without.
Michael had probably not anticipated this kind of reaction and coming from the ever calm Felicity, this was like a volcano eruption; she started yelling at the plumber saying how this would just not do, the water had to be fixed. She was quite obviously freaking out so Michael decided to take over. He pulled felicity towards him gently and sat her on the sofa, “calm down Felicity, we’ll get it fixed, don’t worry okay?” he told her firmly.
He walked the plumber out who was annoyed by felicity’s reaction but said he’d try to hurry but it would take at least a week, “Okay, let’s not tell her that okay? but do try to hurry.” Michael spent the next hour trying to calm felicity down and it was only when he finally hugged her and held her tight against his chest that her breaths returned to normal. He was quite baffled himself as to why this had caused such a strong reaction. Little did he know that to Felicity this was her worst nightmare come to life.
Felicity felt the walls closing in and it seemed as if she could not breath, she needed to breathe and no matter how much air she took, it never seemed enough. Michael held her for a long time and slowly she felt like she was safe, it was uncanny how only being in his arms and being held tight she was feeling a little better. Michael never asked to leave and felicity never told him either. She sat on the sofa while he made her some tea.
It was late and she was feeling tired but somehow she also felt awake, she wanted to talk to him more and more; he told her stories and tried to make her laugh and Laugh she did. She realized that beside the pain, feelings sometimes bought pleasure as well. She found herself smiling at his smile and at the lovely way his eyes sparkled. She liked his smile; she felt like she understood what he had meant when he had said he liked her smile because for the life of her she found herself loving his smile just as he loved hers. Late into the night, he joked about trying again and for the second time that day he leaned in towards her slowly; only this time she knew what was coming.
She liked him, she found herself dozing off into his arms and she loved it.
It was like all her worries had faded away. Perhaps feelings and emotions weren’t so bad if they were this enjoyable sometimes. It was the weekend so they stayed there enjoying each other’s company all weekend long.
She was surprised at how quickly time had passed when it was Sunday night and she was surprised even more that emotions had not hurt her all weekend.
There was no water in the house, she knew she would have to go the office like this but for the first time in her life she felt hopeful, that maybe life was not as scary as she had made it out to be. Michael had taught her to live without even realizing it. He had given her the best gift of all, he had made her enjoy her curse but she knew it would all have to end eventually.
She ventured to the office, and she found that the noise was loud but not as piercing as it always felt. She wasn’t scared this time.
She spent her whole day and when it was time for the coffee date with Michael she was so happy at her survival that she hugged him when she saw him, “ Oh wow, where is Felicity and what have you done with her” he said as he pulled away and kissed her, she laughed.
The next week seemed to pass like a blur, Michael offered his apartment so that felicity could take a bath or wash up
if she needed to, but Felicity lied that she was doing that at her neighbors. She did not know why she had lied, she could have gone and returned to her normal life; didn’t she want that?
But it seemed that Felicity was learning to live with emotions and for what she was feeling about Michael she realized that it was all worth the pain she felt when she was not with him.
After a week the plumber came and fixed the water but Felicity had decided, she was not going near water again. She was in love with Michael and she wanted to enjoy what he was offering her. For once in her life she was certain she wanted this and for once she was completely happy. She went and bought as much of alcoholic wipes as she could carry and started incorporating those in her cleaning and hygiene rituals.
She got the confirmation on regular basis that she had made the right choice when Michael kissed her or held her. She was happy and so was Michael.
Months passed, Michael was starting a new job alongside until he and his friend could put their plan into action. He told her he thought he was falling in love with someone and felicity knew better than to ask who it was, she wanted to scream and tell the whole world that after all her life she finally felt like she had a right name for her when all her life she had felt that her name was perhaps an irony.
Months added up until it was their first year anniversary and Michael