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Janey stared back at her brother coolly. “And what do you think you know?”
“That you think you’ve been in love with him since you were seventeen years old. And he hasn’t been able to take his eyes off you in just as long. I’m not a fool. But I’m not a man who will sit back and watch a man his age mess with his kid sister and toss her aside. Remember that. Because you’re right—you’re over twenty-one. You’re an adult. But you’re still the baby sister I’d die for. Remember that. ”
Janey felt herself pale. She knew Natches meant every word. When she was eight, she had watched him nearly die at Dayle Mackay’s hands as he beat Natches to the floor for daring to try to protect Janey from a slap.
Natches hadn’t fought him back. He’d let Dayle expend his rage, and after he’d healed, he’d shown the man how he’d retaliate. The bullet that had taken Dayle’s car windshield out barely missed his head.
Dayle had known who pulled the trigger, and he knew Natches would kill him, over Janey.
Yeah, her heart was at risk, but she had learned a long time ago how to hide her feelings. Natches might think he knew something, but unless he was certain, he would never strike out.
She patted his cheek lovingly. “I love ya, Natches. But my heart isn’t going to be broken. You forget.
I’ve had a lot of years to grow up. I know even more than you think I do exactly why my heart is going to stay safe. Don’t worry. Love isn’t a part of it. ”
And he didn’t look any happier than he had when she first saw him at the bar. And Alex must have overheard, because damned if he didn’t look unhappy, too.
And that was okay. Tonight, she had made a decision herself. She had been fascinated with Alex for far too many years, and the need she had for him wasn’t going to go away.
For his sake, he was right; it was better no one knew he was staying with her. His reputation wouldn’t suffer for having slept with the daughter of a traitor, and when this was over, maybe she would leave.
Being alone in another city beat the hell out of being miserable here, knowing no one trusted her, that no one even considered the fact that she was as much a victim in Dayle and Nadine’s conspiracies as anyone else had been.
But because she had played the dutiful daughter when he demanded it, now she would pay for that as well. No one wanted to see beneath the surface. No one except a bar full of bikers wanted to know the woman she was, rather than the woman they wanted to perceive her as.
Rogue had said once that this county had created her and she’d stuck around to rub their noses in it.
Janey didn’t think she had that much strength. Once Alex walked back out of her bed, she would have no choice but to leave. Because a part of her knew she had stayed to be with him.
“Are you ready to go?” He opened the driver’s-side door of the pickup and helped her in, ignoring Natches and the others as he climbed in beside her.
A second later they were pulling out. Janey could feel her family’s gazes on her as they left, and it left a heaviness inside her to know how worried they were.
Not about a potential stalker. They were more worried about the fact that it was Alex she was leaving with. Rather than gaining their trust to follow her heart as they had followed theirs, Janey instead felt their combined worry and concern weighing her down, pulling at her heart.
She wasn’t used to that concern; at least she wasn’t used to feeling it. She had been alone for so long that sometimes she didn’t stop to wonder if it was natural not to let someone know she would be gone.
Or what her plans were, or if she was happy or sad. No one had ever been in a position to support her, or to ease her through the hell her life had been for so long. Now Janey didn’t depend on anyone but herself.
It was better that way. As Alex pulled from the bar and headed toward the lake, she told herself it was better knowing the terms and conditions of any relationship before one stepped into it.
Alex needed to protect his reputation. She had heard a few of the conversations at the restaurant. She knew the city council was hoping to get him in as the next chief of police. He couldn’t risk a relationship, at least not a public one, with her. The daughter of a traitor. A supposedly once loving daughter.
Yeah, she had played that role well.
And now she was going to pay for it.
EIGHT
Alex pulled the pickup into a secluded clearing next to the lake, the same area he had first noticed the woman Janey was turning into, six years before.
The narrow dirt road that led to the tree-sheltered clearing and rocky beach was a favorite summer gathering place. During those warmer months, the lake level would be higher, the water warm and relatively safe to swim in.
Now the bare trees swayed in a cold winter wind, the lake was low, deserted, and the clearing intimate and empty of anyone except the two of them. He cut the lights and stared at the water spreading out before them.
“Natches has a right to be pissed,” he finally told her softly. “You need someone who’s going to fall in love with you. Someone who can give you a future. ”
And he couldn’t. He couldn’t give her the dreams he knew she had inside her. That happily-ever-after every woman deserved, especially this woman.
“I don’t expect you to fall in love with me, Alex,” she answered him, her voice somber. “I never asked you to. ”
He turned and stared at her.
She was watching the lake, her expression quiet, calm. That damned mask she wore had the power to piss him off more than Natches’s barbed comments or the hard, warning fist he’d felt in his back earlier.
“Then why are you here with me, Janey?” he asked her gently, when the need, the hunger, powering through him was anything but gentle. “In six months you’ve not had a single date. You haven’t made friends. ”
“Rogue . . . ”
“Doesn’t count. ” He sighed. “Rogue is a good person; don’t get me wrong. But she’s one person, Janey.
One friend, and a wild one at that. The woman in that bar isn’t you. ”
Her lips took a bitter edge. “That’s where you’re wrong, Alex. ” She shook her head, her hair brushing her face as she still stared at the lake. “So wrong. ” She looked at him then, and he felt a ragged, painful emotion tighten his throat at the expression on her face. “That’s everything I’ve had to push back all my life. Dancing. Laughing. I had fun. It was fun. I want to be me, just for a little while. Just me. Without feeling the condemnation of a county, or the judgmental opinions of those who keep watching to see if I’m just as dirty, just as evil as what spawned me. ”
“Janey. ”
“I want to touch you, Alex. ” She turned then, shifted her shoulders, shrugged off his jacket. “I want to be wild with you. I want to be me with you. Is that so wrong? Is it so horrible?”
Pale skin shimmered in the moonlight. His palms itched to touch her, to feel her soft flesh beneath his hands.
“Alex. Just for a little while, pretend with me. ” He watched her eyes, saw the shimmer of tears. “Pretend I’m just a woman you want. That there’s nothing wrong with me. That there’s nothing dirty tainting who I am. Just for a little while. ”
Christ. She was going to cry. The tears were in her eyes, eyes naked with need. The need to be touched, held. To be a woman with the man she desired.
Then her words penetrated his lust-fogged brain. His gaze sharpened on her as he reached out, jerking her to him.
“Never let me hear you say something like that again,” he barked ruthlessly as her eyes widened in shock and he gave her a quick, hard shake. “Pretend, your ass. For Christ’s sake, Janey. I want you until I can’t breathe for it. I have for years. And the only thing you’re tainted with is my fucking touch. Because by God, I should know better. ”
The desperate, blinding need that exploded inside him, to wipe such a thought from her h
ead, spilled
through Alex. He ached; to the center of his soul he ached that she somehow believed she wasn’t truly desirable, that she was tainted and somehow unworthy.
“Look at you. ” His voice was an agonized whisper as he wrapped his hand around the back of her neck, holding her as he moved, shifted, bending over her until she had no choice but to recline back on the bench seat.
God, now he knew why he hadn’t wanted that fucking console in his truck. So he could do this.
“You make me so fucking hard I can’t even think. ” He lowered his head and nipped her pouty lower lip.
Damn truck was too small. He shoved his knee between her thighs and braced his foot on the floor. But hell. He shoved his knee right against her pussy, watching that damned skirt slide up her thighs to reveal white lacy panties.
He was not fucking her in this truck, he thought. It wasn’t going to happen. There simply wasn’t enough room.
“Alex. ” She whispered his name, her hips moving, riding his knee as her arms twined around his neck.
“Kiss me hard and deep. Like you’re as hungry for me as I am for you. ”
Janey was dying inside. She needed him. She’d partied and had fun tonight, maybe had one beer too many, but she hadn’t forgotten that she wasn’t dancing with Alex. He hadn’t taken her out; he wasn’t holding her, laughing with her.
And then he had been there, like a fantasy come to life. Hard and warm, holding her in his arms, dancing with her, staring at her with all that hunger in his eyes, and all she wanted was one night. Just this one night to be more than the traitor’s daughter, more than the responsibility he had to babysit.
She was no one’s baby. Sometimes she felt as though she belonged to nothing and no one. Tonight, just for a little while, she wanted to belong to Alex.
She lifted to him, her thighs tightening on the hard width of his knee shoved against her pussy, and oh, that felt so good. Her arms tightened around his neck, her tongue licking out at his lips.
And then he was there. His lips covered hers with that hungry groan she loved so much and he was kissing her hard and deep. One hand held her neck, keeping her in place. The other gripped the hem of her skirt, jerking it higher, over the band of her stockings.
She could feel him all over her. From her lips to her legs. So warm and hard, like a living blanket filled with fiery heat.
“I’m not fucking you in a pickup. ” He groaned, sipping at her lips now rather than devouring them.
Teasing her with his kisses. “I’m telling you now, Janey. I’m not doing it. ”
“Okay,” she panted in excitement, her hands moving down his chest as he eased back, pulling the shirt from his jeans before her fingers moved to his belt. “We can do other stuff. ”
“Ah hell. ” His groan almost made her smile.
“I want to taste you again, Alex. ” She jerked his belt open, loosened it, then pulled at the metal button of his jeans. “I want you in my mouth, against my tongue. I want to suck you, taste you. ”
She slid the zipper of his jeans down, her eyes widening as his cock sprang free.
“Hmm, commando,” she whispered breathlessly, using both hands to surround it, stroke it. “Alex. I’m scandalized. ”
“You’re about to get more scandalized. Because, baby, you’re gonna suck my dick until I fill your mouth. ”
She’d never heard that tone in his voice. It sent a shiver down her spine as he pulled back, sitting back in the seat to lean against the door, his cock rising from his jeans, thick and hard as he pulled her up between his legs.
One large hand circled the heavy stalk; the other clasped her neck again. She hadn’t realized how sexy that was, how much she loved his strong fingers controlling her head, holding her wherever he wanted her.
Submission wasn’t a game she played, but this, the firm, determined hold of a man who knew what he wanted, knew how to take a woman. Oh yeah, this she liked.