‘Oh, Sam wasn’t doing anything scandalous,’ said Cass. ‘I just mean they were talking about how in Irish college there are always loads of people getting together and lots of who-likes-who and “ooh, is she going out with him?” gossip.’
‘Ah, okay,’ I said.
‘Anyway,’ said Cass. ‘Lucy said that Sam got together with this girl from Cork called Louisa and he was totally smitten. And so was she. Louisa was smitten with him, I mean. Apparently she was yet another person who assumed Sam and Lucy were an item and Lucy had to basically tell her that Sam liked her, and then they got together at a céilí and it was all very romantic. So yeah, they tried to keep it going when they got home but, after a few months, they realised the long-distance thing was too tough, so it all kind of fizzled out.’
‘Whoah,’ I said. ‘Like me and Paperboy. Sort of.’
‘See, you’re made for each other!’ said Cass. ‘You both know what it’s like to move on because someone is millions of miles away. Or just in Cork. Anyway, Lucy said he did get over her after a few months, but he was pretty sad for a while. So he is definitely not averse to going out with girls. You have a chance.’
This was very good to hear. Of course, it wouldn’t have been good if Lucy had told Cass that Sam was still pining for this Louisa girl, but he clearly isn’t. So that’s something. And Cass said that she thought it was a very good sign that Sam had asked me to go for coffee with him, so maybe I’m not being ridiculously optimistic about that. She couldn’t stay for too long because she told her parents she’d be back nice and early to do lots of studying because they too have been going on about exams. Her parents aren’t too bad, though. They’re getting her a cool new keyboard stand for her birthday.
Oh God, her birthday! I was so taken up by having hot chocolate with Sam I totally forgot about having to get her a birthday present! I’ll have to go into town now. I just hope Mum and Dad will give me some money. I feel so guilty – how could I have put meeting Sam above getting a present for one of my two best friends in the entire world?
Although, actually, I didn’t sort out getting extra money yesterday before I went into the Knitting Factory, so technically I forgot about it before I’d even seen Sam. Still, I do feel bad. I will get her something really nice to make up for it (as long as it costs under a tenner – I can’t imagine I’ll get more than that from my parents. They’re not made of money, as they never tire of telling me).
Oh my God. Something bad has happened. Not to me. But … well, I’ll just write it down. I managed to borrow present money off Dad, who gave in to my demands surprisingly quickly. I don’t think he was paying too much attention to me because he was lost in the world of Henry Higgins – he was singing ‘I’ve Grown Accustomed To Her Face’ when I found him in the kitchen. Anyway, before he could come to his senses and realise he’d just handed me €15 (which was more than I was expecting), I ran off and got the bus into town. I went to the Gutter Bookshop and got Cass a book she’s wanted to read for a while, and then I went to get her some gorgeous-smelling shower gel. I think this was a good balance of presents.
Once I’d got Cass’s booty, I set off for the bus stop, but as I was approaching a café on Wicklow Street a familiar figure sitting inside it at a table near the window caught my eye. It was Tom! Of course I hadn’t seen him since before he dumped Rachel and broke her heart into a million pieces. Over the last few weeks he’s become such a villain in our house it was quite a shock to see him just sitting there looking perfectly normal. I didn’t want him to see me because it would be weird and awkward, so I crossed to the other side of the road.
And that was when I noticed he was sitting at the table with a girl. At first, all I could see was her fair hair, but when I walked on a little bit and looked back cautiously I could see her face. And I almost gasped aloud. Because it wasn’t just any girl – though any girl would have been bad enough.
It was Jenny.
As soon as I saw it was her I just froze. What was Jenny doing huddled in a café with the boy who broke her best friend’s heart? I stepped back into a shop doorway so I could look at the two of them for a moment longer without being totally obvious. They were talking very intensely and at one stage Jenny reached across and gave Tom something and touched his arm. They did not look like two friends having a casual chat. They looked like conspirators. Or people who were having a secret affair behind their best friend and ex-girlfriend’s back.
Anyway, I realised I was starting to look suspicious standing there in a shop doorway so I went on to the bus stop, but I was in a sort of daze until I got home. And now I don’t know what to do. I had got used to feeling angry with Tom, but Jenny? She has been Rachel’s best mate since they were in primary school and I can’t imagine Rachel without her. She’s like a member of our family. Maybe this is why I feel almost personally betrayed. I think I might be more upset about this than about Tom dumping Rachel. How could Jenny do this? And how can I look her in the face now I know what she’s done? How can I look Rachel in the face, for that matter? I don’t know if I should tell her or not. Should I? I feel so guilty knowing about it when she has no idea. Imagine if she knew that, say, John had been cheating on me and never told me. I’d hate it. I need to tell her.
Oh, I can’t, it would just kill her. And besides, why should I do Jenny’s dirty work for her? She’s the one who has stabbed her best friend in the back. Ugh, I feel sick. Luckily, when I came home from town Rachel was doing her homework and then after dinner I did some of my homework and then we all watched TV for a while. So I wasn’t actually on my own with Rachel all evening. But I will have to decide whether to say something eventually.
Oh, how could Jenny do it? How could she?!
I’ve been trying to behave normally to Rachel, but I can’t talk to her without thinking of my terrible secret and how upset she’d be if she knew about it. But that wasn’t half as bad as trying to behave normally to Jenny, who of course, as luck would have it, I seemed to meet every five seconds today. It was like she was haunting me. It didn’t help that I had to go into the library before class to give back my library books. I was hoping it wouldn’t be her day on the desk, but of course there she was.
‘Hey, Bex,’ she said cheerfully. ‘How were the books?’
Normally, I would have chatted to her and told her to read Code Name Verity, but I could barely stomach the sight of her so I just said, ‘Good. Here you go.’
I turned to go, but Jenny said, ‘Rebecca? Are you okay?’
‘Fine,’ I said. ‘See you.’
And I went out because I couldn’t bear to look at her a minute longer. I felt ferocious with rage.
And of course I couldn’t talk about it to Cass or Alice because it didn’t seem fair that they should know about it when Rachel didn’t. So I felt like my feelings were all bottled up. Though it was a relief to be able to talk about liking Sam – I did tell Alice about that. She was typically sensible and Alice-ish about it, which is always strangely comforting.
‘Well, he definitely likes hanging out with you,’ she said. ‘Though of course you know that already. So I would be cautiously optimistic.’
That is what I will be. Not that I have much energy to think about him at the moment, what with worrying about my sister’s happiness all the time. It is all very stressful. And to make matters worse, Vanessa is actually going to be interviewed about Kookie on the radio tomorrow morning, on one of the big breakfast shows!
‘I couldn’t turn them down,’ she said. ‘I have to give the people what they want.’
It’s certainly not what I want, but alas for humanity I seem to be in the minority. I saw loads of first and even some second and third years wearing Kookie badges today. When I first heard Vanessa say they might release her Kookie song as a single I thought it was ludicrous, but now I’m not so sure. If they did, it’d probably become a huge hit and then Vanessa would record a whole album and become an international star.
In fact, what with worryin
g about Rachel and listening to Vanessa’s boasting, Miss Kelly’s usual doom-mongering was a welcome relief this afternoon. She was talking about population density and the terrible environmental consequences of urban developments, and it basically made me want to go and live in a field in the middle of nowhere, far away from all polluting things. Which isn’t really very practical, especially for band practices. It might be quite helpful for writing, though. At least there wouldn’t be any distractions, unlike my own house, where my parents are currently singing ‘The Rain in Spain Falls Mainly in the Plain’ in very loud voices.
As for Rachel, she’s been in her room all evening, though I heard her talking to Jenny the Evil Traitor a while ago. If this goes on for much longer, I’m going to have to tell her what I know. It’s not fair. Though what is? It’s not fair that Vanessa should go around being rude and snobby and obnoxious to everyone and then still get exactly what she wants. There really is no justice in the world.
Actually, there is one good thing. My spot has FINALLY started to disappear. I was worried it was never going to go away.
Well, now I have further proof that the world is unfair: Vanessa’s radio interview. We all knew that she was going to be on just before eight o’clock (she mentioned it every five seconds yesterday) and because I am clearly a deranged masochist (or maybe Vanessa has just worn me down?) I couldn’t resist listening. Not that I had a choice, really, because we always have that station on the kitchen radio in the mornings.
Anyway, the interview was even worse than I thought it would be, which is saying something. The presenter seemed to love Vanessa. In fact, she introduced her with the words, ‘Now, if you’ve watched any television recently, chances are you’ll have seen a new ad with a very catchy tune. The new campaign from Bluebird Bakery features a girl who’s, well, a little bit kooky. And it seems like everyone is now singing her song.’
Then they played a snippet of Vanessa singing about having a kooky little day.
‘The star of the ad is a Dublin schoolgirl called Vanessa Finn, and she’s joined us in the studio,’ said the presenter when the song finished. ‘Good morning, Vanessa!’
‘Hi there,’ said Vanessa in a smarmy voice. ‘It’s great to be here!’
‘So, Vanessa,’ said the presenter. ‘In the ad, you play a character called Kookie, and people have really taken her to their hearts. Tell us a bit about Kookie and why she’s so appealing.’
‘Well,’ said Vanessa. ‘She’s a teenage girl who likes the quirky things in life. If it’s a little bit weird or a little bit fun, then it’s totally Kookie!’
I thought I was going to get sick. I had to put down my toast. Rachel pretended to throw up. Even Mum and Dad looked a bit ill.
‘And I think that’s why people like her so much,’ Vanessa continued. ‘She’s a reminder that we all just want to sing and play!’
Ugh. It was all so sugary it made me want to never smile again, let alone sing or play.
‘And what about the song?’ said the presenter. ‘There are rumours it might be released as a single …’
‘And I’m happy to say those rumours are true!’ said Vanessa. “Little Bit Kooky” will be released digitally on Friday.’
Oh for goodness’s sake. Vanessa went on to say that some of the proceeds from the single will go to a charity, so I can’t actually hope it’s a huge flop. But still!
‘So what about you, Vanessa?’ said the presenter. ‘Tell us about yourself.’
‘Oh I’m just an ordinary girl,’ said Vanessa modestly, which was a reminder that she really is good at acting, as she is probably the least modest person in the country. ‘I’m from Glasnevin, and you know what we northsiders are like – salt of the earth!’
Now this is a change! Vanessa used to basically pretend she was from the poshest parts of south Dublin and acted like we, her fellow suburban north Dubliners, were essentially street urchins. Now she has clearly decided to embrace her northside roots. Though she is hardly ‘salt of the earth’ (neither am I, for that matter, but I’m not on the radio pretending I am). Her dad is an accountant and they live in a very nice Edwardian redbrick house in Glasnevin (which Vanessa used to describe as some sort of palace – it was quite a surprise when I saw it for the first time on my way to Ellie’s house back in first year).
Anyway, Vanessa kept going on about how ‘ordinary’ she was, which initially baffled me because it was so out of character for her, until I realised she was saying all these things to highlight what a brilliant actress she is!
‘My life isn’t as colourful as Kookie’s,’ she said. ‘But being able to channel her has allowed me to bring a bit of colour into my life. I think we can all have a kooky little day, every day!’
It truly was sickening. Luckily, the presenter didn’t let her ramble on for too long.
‘Well, thanks, Vanessa,’ she said. ‘And I’m sure we’ll be hearing a lot more from you in the future!’
Well, I know I will. Unfortunately. It all wouldn’t be so bad if it were just a little local station, but it was the biggest station in the country, so thousands, if not millions, of people have heard it while they were having their breakfasts. I just hope some of them saw through Vanessa’s sugary act on the programme and realised what a power-crazed egomaniac she is. It makes me wish that episode of My Big Birthday Bash had actually been broadcast. If the Irish public had seen her riding around in a giant pink tank like a frilly dictator, they wouldn’t be so charmed by her now.
When I got to school, an hour or so later, it seemed like everyone had heard Vanessa’s interview. Everyone was talking about it when Cass and I were hanging up our coats in the cloakroom.
‘It’s so great about the single,’ said Karen. ‘You never know, maybe it’ll lead to a music career.’ She noticed me and Cass. ‘Sorry, Rebecca,’ she said snidely. ‘It looks like Vanessa’s beaten your little band to glory.’
I took a deep breath and tried to think of how Karen had stood up for Cass during the summer. I could tell Cass was doing the same thing because she just said, ‘Well, I don’t think we’re after the same market.’ Then she strolled out of the cloakroom, and I followed.
‘Well played, Cass,’ I said. ‘I knew you wanted to say something ruder than that.’
‘I did,’ said Cass. ‘But sometimes you have to, I dunno. Rise above things.’
‘Be noble,’ I agreed. ‘And I suppose Karen isn’t half as bad these days as she was last year.’
‘On the other hand,’ said Cass, ‘Vanessa is even worse. Still, you win some, you lose some.’
This is true. Apparently this weekend Vanessa is going to be doing some promotional events in big shopping centres in her Kookie guise. Imagine going all the way to a shopping centre to gawp at Vanessa. A few weeks ago I would have laughed at the idea that anyone would turn up, but nothing would surprise me now.
Luckily, I didn’t have to talk to Jenny today. I just saw her in the corridor near the art rooms, but it was quite crowded so I could easily pretend I hadn’t seen her. I can’t avoid Rachel forever, though. Our parents are currently at their rehearsal and I’ve been lurking up in my room doing my homework (and writing in my diary), but Laurel Canyon is on soon and I do want to watch it. And if we’re both engrossed in telly I won’t be tempted to say anything about my terrible secret. Well, really it’s Jenny and Tom’s terrible secret, but I feel so guilty about knowing it that it might as well be mine.
Things with Rachel were fine this evening, partly because it was such an exciting and shocking episode of Laurel Canyon that it completely distracted both of us. I haven’t seen Rachel so animated in weeks. She was even more lively than when Vanessa’s ad had its première. Who knew it would take sexy Jack Rosenthal being accused of his best friend’s murder to get her all excited? In fact, we were still talking about it (Rachel says there is a chance he might actually have done it, I say no way) in the kitchen when Mum and Dad got home.
‘Hi girls!’ said Dad, looking very cheerful.
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‘How was rehearsal?’ said Rachel.
‘It went pretty well, I think,’ said Dad. He picked up an apple that was sitting on the counter and took a bite. ‘I think I’m really getting somewhere with Henry Higgins.’
I looked at Mum. She hadn’t said anything since she got in.
‘How was it for you, Mother dear?’ I said.
‘Oh, fine,’ she said. ‘The director’s pretty happy with how things are going.’
Rachel and Dad went into the sitting room, but I stayed with Mum in the kitchen.
‘Is Henry Higgins really going somewhere?’ I said.
Mum looked slightly stressed. ‘Well, Laura’s happy with it. And it really is very imaginative. But I’m not sure what the rest of the cast think. Tonight he suggested that he should appear as a sort of dancing dream figure when Eliza sings “Wouldn’t It Be Loverly”.’
‘Wow,’ I said.
Mum sighed.
‘I know some of the cast think he’s trying to steal the show,’ she said. ‘But it’s really not that at all. It’s just that he loves dancing so much. And he really doesn’t get to do enough of it in the usual Henry Higgins part. So he’s just trying to find opportunities, and maybe he’s finding too many of them …’
Then she seemed to pull herself together. ‘But I’m sure it’ll all work out,’ she said briskly. ‘And your dad is a total professional!’
I am not so sure about that. A dancing dream figure! He has definitely lost the run of himself. If the rest of the cast haven’t risen up in protest against him in a week I will be very surprised. But sad too. Poor Dad, why didn’t they just give him the part of Alfred in the first place?
In the past I got very bored on the few occasions when Miss Kelly confined herself to the bare facts and didn’t bother terrifying us with environmental disasters, but as the exams grow nearer I am genuinely starting to worry about her unique approach. I mean, I’m not a huge fan of geography, but I do want to at least get an honour in it. Today she just talked about climate-fuelled migration and how huge chunks of the earth will be uninhabitable and that we’ll be lucky if Dublin isn’t under water by the time we’re forty. It is all very scary and is definitely making me very conscious of recycling things and unplugging things when they’re not being used, but will it be any use in the actual exams?