WITH MY PINKIE,

  I PROMISE AND PLEDGE

  TO NEVER TAKE OR BORROW.

  ’CAUSE NIKKI WILL BE

  SO MAD AT ME,

  SHE’LL KNOCK ME INTO TOMORROW!

  Of course, being the pathological liar that she is, Brianna totally denied taking my diary.

  “Miss Penelope stole your stupid diary, not ME! I told her not to do it, but she didn’t even listen to me!”

  That was Brianna’s story, and she was sticking to it.

  Although, now that I think about it, Miss Penelope and MacKenzie have a lot in common:

  1. They are both SUPERannoying.

  2. They both have a HUGE MOUTH.

  3. They both wear WAY too much lip gloss.

  4. They both enjoy TORTURING me.

  5. They both have NO BRAIN whatsoever.

  OMG! They’re probably identical twins who were separated at birth!!

  But I have to admit, I’m not perfect either.

  Seriously, folks …

  I’M SUCH A DORK !!

  NOTE TO SELF

  A diary is a great place to get supercreative. Try writing a poem or the lyrics to an original song. Poetry can rhyme or be free verse (which means it doesn’t rhyme). Although this might seem like a difficult or boring task, it’s actually EASY and FUN! Think about your favorite rapper or rap song. Rap is just another form of poetry!

  HOW TO DORK YOUR DIARY TIP #15

  WRITING POETRY IS A SNAP WHEN YOU THINK OF IT AS RAP.

  First you’re going to need a stage name. You can add “MC” or “LIL” to your own name or make up something silly. Write your rap, poem, or song on the next page. Hey! You’re a poet and don’t know it.

  TITLE OF YOUR POEM

  by

  YOUR STAGE NAME

  NOTE TO SELF

  Your diary belongs to YOU and no one else (no matter what your bratty little sister might think). So you can write about your day, your crush, your favorite things, a party you want to throw, or absolutely anything else you want to write about, anytime you want!

  HOW TO DORK YOUR DIARY TIP #16

  WRITE ABOUT ANYTHING, EVERYTHING, OR NOTHING—IT’S YOUR DIARY!

  Rachel Renée Russell is an attorney who prefers writing tween books to legal briefs. (Mainly because books are a lot more fun and pajamas and bunny slippers aren't allowed in court.)

  She has raised two daughters and lived to tell about it. Her hobbies include growing purple flowers and doing totally useless crafts (like, for example, making a microwave oven out of Popsicle sticks, glue, and glitter). Rachel lives in northern Virginia with a spoiled pet Yorkie who terrorizes her daily by climbing on top of a computer cabinet and pelting her with stuffed animals while she writes. And, yes, Rachel considers herself a total Dork.

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  Rachel Renée Russell, How to Dork Your Diary

 


 

 
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