I had no idea that helping me had caused Thibault problems with his partner. Now I’m even more touched by the choices he’s made. It’s one thing to make a decision to help someone when everyone you trust is backing you up, but when you do it on your own without that, it says something. He’s proving all over again how much this—Tee and I, our safety—means to him.
“Doesn’t matter now. We’re all in. Where’re you headed?”
“I was hoping you could tell me where to go. I’m just driving.”
“What direction? Should I put on the locator?”
“No. I’m going to switch over to a black phone in a minute anyway; the locator won’t have time to work.”
“Good idea. We’re going to shift into all-black protocol over here just as a precaution.”
Thibault nods. “I’ll call you back.”
He hangs up the phone and puts it in his lap, using his leg as a support to push down on it so he can remove the battery.
“What are you doing?” I ask, peering over his shoulder.
He rolls down his window. “Just making sure nobody can trace us.” Ten seconds later he tosses the phone out, and another ten seconds later the SIM card joins it, scattered on the side of the road. He throws the battery on the seat next to him.
“But how are you going to talk to your team?”
“I have a burner phone.” He hands me his duffel bag through the space between the front seats. “Do you mind pulling it out of here? It’s in a black case that looks like a shaving kit.”
I dig around until I find it, handing it up to him. “Here you go.”
He powers it up and waits for the welcome screen. When it’s ready to go, he scrolls down to the first number, pressing the button and putting the phone to his head. I lean forward and get my ear as close to his as my seat belt will allow.
“Good. Your phone is operational,” Ozzie says without preamble.
“Yep. All charged and ready to go. Looks like I’ve got all the team’s numbers loaded into it, too.”
“Remind me to hug my wife for that when this is all over,” Ozzie says.
“Give her one for me too.”
“Okay, so you left your cabin. What direction you heading?”
“West.”
“Okay. Let me take a look on my screen here.” Several seconds go by before he speaks again. “All right, you’re going to get off the highway at Exit 28, and then you’ll go about fifteen miles before you hop onto Highway 10. Go another twenty miles and you’ll see a Motel 6. My guess is they’ll have a big billboard you can see from the road if it’s not right there at an exit.”
“Okay. That sounds good.”
“I’m going to pay for it with one of our black cards.”
“Great. When I get there, I’ll give you a call.”
“You got it. And we’re going to come and set up nearby, so just hold tight.”
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
“Would you rather do this out there by yourself?”
He shakes his head. “Definitely not.”
“Okay. I don’t know who it will be yet, but at least one of us will be there before sunrise.”
He breathes out a sigh of relief. “You have no idea how much better that makes me feel.”
“I can imagine. I’m sorry you were stuck on this by yourself for so long. Your knee must feel like shit.”
I want to hug Thibault and both thank him and apologize. I had no idea how broad his shoulders were until now. Here’s a man used to working as part of a team who had to fly solo because he’d made a promise to me.
“I’ll live, but I’ve definitely felt better. It was my own fault things went the way they did. I’m real sorry.”
“Stop. I’m not going to play the blame game anymore, and neither are you. We all make mistakes. Nobody’s perfect. Now we know to handle things differently next time.”
I should have trusted him sooner, told him the things he asked me about so his team could do their investigation. Maybe we could have avoided this situation. I’ve caused him so much grief, first with his knee and then with his team . . .
“Hopefully there won’t be another next time that goes down like this,” Thibault says. “I’m going to settle in with Mika, but we left with almost nothing from the cabin. We’ve got a few diapers and basic stuff for the baby, but we don’t have any food or much in the way of clothing for her.”
“Or sanitary pads,” I say weakly from the back. I feel like such a burden.
“Or . . . uh . . . feminine products,” he adds.
“All right, we’ll bring stuff with us. Not a problem. Anything else special for Mika or the baby?”
“If Toni could give us more of her clothes, that would be awesome. And lots of water. Bottled water.”
“You got it.”
“Talk to you soon.”
“Yeah, stay safe. Remain vigilant. I don’t see any way they could possibly find you now, but you never know.”
“How do you think they found us at the cabin?”
Ozzie sighs. “Well, if I were looking for you, I’d find your house either from the phone you had there or I’d get your name from the news reports and use it to search property records online. I’d find both your house and the cabin in less than thirty seconds. It wouldn’t be difficult. If you weren’t so close to this case, you’d know that, though.”
Thibault hisses out a sigh. “We need to petition the court to have our addresses made confidential like they are for police officers and DAs.”
“Agreed. It’s first on my agenda with the chief when this is over.”
“You said they came to my house, too?”
“Yeah. Your place and Toni’s place. I’m glad she wasn’t there.”
Guilt hits me hard. I reach up and grip Thibault’s shoulder to apologize.
“Me, too.” Thibault pulls the phone away to rub his chest for two seconds before going back to the conversation. “Holy shit. I feel like I’m having a heart attack.”
“Well, we’ve had it happen before, with May. That’s why we’ve got protocols in place for this. We just need to stick to the plan and shore up any problems that appear.”
“I can do that.”
“We can too. See you soon.”
“I’m counting on it.”
Thibault hangs up the phone and drops it onto the seat next to him.
My heart feels bruised. “Thibault, I am so sorry.”
He glances at me before going back to watching the road. “Don’t apologize.” He takes my hand at his shoulder and kisses it really quick, making my heart flutter. “This is not your fault. This is on Pavel, and he’s not going to win.”
“I wish I had your faith,” I say.
“Just put your faith in me, and I’ll take care of the rest.”
I nod. “I can do that.” And I’m not just saying that. I believe in Thibault. I trust that he will do whatever he can to keep Tee and me safe, and I can’t ask for more than that.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
The Motel 6 is easy enough to find with Ozzie’s basic directions and a little help from Thibault’s Google Maps app. I expect the front desk clerk to give Thibault some trouble because the credit card Ozzie used to pay for the room is in a name Thibault doesn’t know, but the clerk must’ve been briefed enough to satisfy his curiosity and the motel’s rules. Thibault comes walking out of the reception office and gets into the SUV, driving Tee and me over to the door and dropping us off with a key.
“Go inside and lock up behind you. I’m just going to park behind the building and I’ll be right back. I have a key.”
I leave the truck with the car seat hooked over my arm and the diaper bag on my shoulder. After entering the room, I don’t stop; I go right into the bathroom and lock that door behind me too.
Five or so minutes later, there’s a light knock. “Are you okay in there?” Thibault asks.
I wipe the sweat from my upper lip and temples. “I’m fine. Is it o
kay to come out?”
“Yeah. It’s just me in here.”
“What’s the secret code?” I’m mad we didn’t come up with one before.
“Uhhh, what code?”
“We have to have a secret code we can use to let the other person know everything’s okay. I’ve seen lots of movies where all the dying could have been avoided if they’d just had a secret code word.” I feel a little light-headed. That’s my excuse for being ridiculous.
“You do like your codes,” he mumbles.
“What?”
“I said, how about Popcorn? Is that a good code?”
“Yeah, that works. I can’t think of a time I’d use that in normal conversation.”
Time ticks by.
“Are you coming out or what?” Thibault asks.
I’m afraid to open the door. This bathroom feels really, really safe; it has no windows, the door’s a couple inches thick, and there’s a big, fat lock on it. “You haven’t used the secret code yet.”
“Popcorn,” he says. “It’s raining popcorn out here.”
“I’m coming out.” I stand, getting up from my seat on the edge of the tub. I take Baby Tee’s car seat off the closed toilet lid.
“I have all the lights off, so be careful not to trip,” he says. “I don’t want anyone outside the motel to see that this room is occupied.”
“Good.” I love that plan. I open the door and step outside the bathroom. Seeing him standing there in the dim light of the room’s exit sign brings a wave of relief. “I’m so freaking scared.”
“You’re scared? Little Miss Bossy Pants? I don’t believe it.”
I step into his arms and place my head on his chest. “Shut up. You’re not funny. Only I’m funny.”
He rubs my back and kisses the top of my head. “It’s going to be okay. Somebody from my team is going to be here by morning, and they’re going to bring us what we need. I think you’re safe drinking water from the faucet until they arrive.”
“I couldn’t eat anything right now no matter how good it looked.” I sniff, willing the tears to stay away, but only getting partial buy-in from my emotions. “Not even that delicious chicken casserole you made.”
“I don’t blame you. This is scary stuff. But it’s all going to be over soon.”
“I don’t know why you think you can say that.” I look up at him. “This is just the beginning.”
“No, it’s not. You gave us the code. In the morning Jenny will start the ball rolling. The sooner Pavel is behind bars, the better.”
Panic seizes me. “Please tell Jenny not to give it to anybody yet.” I can see Alexei so clearly in my mind. His face, his smile, the conversations we’d have. He was always hanging around, never doing anyone any harm. He doesn’t deserve to be left behind or left for dead.
He pulls back to look at me. “Why?”
It’s time for another confession. I wish I’d said something sooner, but I’m not going to beat myself up for being cautious. Their ability and willingness to track us down prove how determined these people are to get what they want and how dangerously resourceful they can be.
“What’s going on, Mika? Please tell me.”
I look down at the floor, ashamed that I’m about to unload a whole other bunch of garbage on Thibault and his team, as if keeping me and Tee safe wasn’t enough. “If we give the cops everything they want, they’re not going to try to find Alexei. And I need to find him. It’s important.”
He puts his hands on my shoulders. “What do you mean? What does Alexei have to do with this?”
I look up at Thibault, pleading with my eyes for him to believe me, to hear what I’m saying. “Nothing . . . He’s got nothing to do with this, other than the fact that he’s a nice boy . . . a nice man, and when everything else was shit around me, when everyone was shit, he wasn’t, okay? He was kind to me. He listened to me. He never did anything rude or cruel or mean to me, unlike everyone else in my life. He’s innocent in all this. He’s never done anything wrong to anybody.”
I’m feeling desperate, like Thibault is going to blow this off because Alexei’s well-being doesn’t relate to my personal safety. But it does relate to me as a person. The more I think about it, the more I realize how important it is to be sure Alexei is okay. I could never feel free of my past knowing I left his gentle soul behind to be destroyed by those evil people. It would haunt me forever. I need to convince Thibault.
“I don’t know why Pavel is hiding him or if he got rid of him, but I need to know he’s okay, or at least what happened to him. It’s torturing me, imagining what . . .” I have to pause for a breath, trying to calm myself. “Alexei needs me. I can’t just abandon him completely. If he’s still alive, he needs me to find him, and if he’s dead . . .” I stop again to manage my tears. “. . . If he’s dead, I need to bury him the right way. Pavel never does it the right way.”
Thibault talks to me in a soothing tone. “If the police go through the process of arresting Pavel and the DA starts working on his prosecution, Alexei’s going to turn up.”
I’m angry that he’s not taking this as seriously as I think he should. “Why do you say that? If Pavel killed him, there’s going to be no motivation for him at all to tell us what happened, and the police won’t do anything about it. Alexei means nothing to them compared to Pavel. And if Pavel’s hidden Alexei away, we’ll never find out where. Pavel could pay somebody to watch him for the rest of his life.”
“Would that be so bad? If somebody’s taking care of him?”
I want to scream. “The people Pavel hires to watch over other people are not nice, okay? It’s not like Alexei’s got a loving foster family providing three meals a day and presents on Christmas. For all we know, he could be being abused right now. He’s very simple in his mind. He’s easy to manipulate and hurt. Do you understand what that means?”
“Do you think Pavel would involve him in the sex trade?”
“Why not? Pavel has zero morals, and he’s evil. Alexei might be his cousin, but he’s basically useless to Pavel unless he’s making him money somehow.”
“Has he done that with him before?”
“No, but he threatened it enough times that I believed him.”
“Was he using him as leverage against you?” Thibault’s expression turns dark.
“No. I never let Pavel know how much I cared about Alexei. That was way too dangerous.”
“And you think he never noticed?”
I shrug. “I hope not. I was always too afraid to even ask him where Alexei was. I hinted around once, saying that I hadn’t seen him lately, but Pavel told me not to worry about it.” I reach up and touch his face, hoping I can break through that stony countenance. “Don’t you see? If we give the police that code, they won’t listen to me when I tell them they have to find Alexei. But if I hold back, they’ll do everything they can to find out where he is. I can make sure he’s okay, that Pavel hasn’t hurt him. Then they can have their damn code.” I drop my hand and adjust the baby’s blanket. “I’m not going to let them call all the shots. That code is my leverage.”
Thibault walks away, stopping at the little desk in the room. He opens the drawer and pulls out a pen and paper, dropping them down on the desk. “Write down everything you know about him: first name, last name, any middle names, birthday, any identifying tattoos or markings on his body, places he frequented, the church he went to, people he spends time with . . . Everything.”
I walk over slowly, placing the baby on the bed before picking up the pen. “Are we going to report him missing to the police?”
“Not right away. I want to see what my team can find out first.”
“Okay.” I write down what I know on the paper and slide the pad over to him. “I really appreciate this.”
“Don’t mention it.” He starts to walk away, but I stop him with a hand on his arm. He looks at me.
“I have to mention it. After what happened tonight, I keep thinking that fate is going to steal
you away from me any second, when I least expect it. I don’t want things to go unsaid between us.”
He comes back over and puts his hand on the side of my face, leaning down to give me a slow kiss on the lips. He presses his forehead to mine. “Fate went to a lot of trouble to put us together. It’s not going to tear us apart for nothing. I promise.”
“You can’t promise things you have no control over.”
“Watch me.”
He goes over to the bed with the pad of paper and sits down, pulling his phone out. His fingers fly over the keyboard as he looks at the information I wrote down.
“What are you doing?” I fear he’s put my concerns aside and is doing what he wants instead of what I asked him to do. For a moment, I remember what betrayal feels like.
“I’m detailing all the information you’ve given me in an email so I can shoot it off to everybody on the team. It’s an open invitation for anyone who’s awake and available to start doing some digging.”
I sigh with relief. He’s not telling the cops. Not yet, anyway. I’m so grateful to him for listening to me.
Less than a minute later, his phone beeps, and he looks at the message waiting. “Toni’s on it.”
I walk over and look at the text.
T: I’m on it. Stay safe. Stay black. Out.
“What does that mean, ‘stay black’?”
“She’s telling me not to send any more messages unless they’re absolutely necessary.” Thibault stands and looks down at me. He studies my face and then stares into my eyes for a long time.
“What are you thinking right now?” I ask, not sure I want to hear the answer but absolutely certain I don’t want any more secrets between us.
“I’m thinking that I’ve never felt as close to the precipice of death as I do right now. It’s bringing a lot of things into absolute clarity for me: like this girl right here . . .”
He takes me by the hand, making my heart skip a beat.
“She’s delicate and fierce and angry and funny and silly and serious and smart. And she’s got a beautiful body and a beautiful baby, and even though she makes terrible spaghetti, she’s definitely somebody I want to get to know better.”