Page 14 of Once Upon a Crime


  “Mrs. Grimm, you seem like a sweet lady but I’m afraid that’s impossible,” Peter said. “We need to evaluate your parenting skills. We can’t just let you take the girls with you.”

  “How long will this evaluation take?” Granny asked.

  “A few weeks at least.”

  “A few weeks!” the girls cried.

  Daphne nudged Granny. “Throw some forgetful dust on him.”

  Granny shook her head. “I’m all out.”

  Peter rolled his eyes. “In the meantime, the state will retain custody of the girls until we can determine if they should be returned to your care,” he explained.

  “But who’s going to take care of them?” Granny Relda asked anxiously.

  Just then, there was a knock on the office door. Standing on the threshold was a rail-thin woman with a face Sabrina knew and could never forget. She had thin lips, a hooked nose, and dull gray hair.

  “Hello, Ms. Smirt,” Peter said. “Please come in.”

  The orphanage was exactly as Sabrina remembered. Much like Ms. Smirt, it was nasty and drained of color. The floors were still filthy and the kids still miserable, and the moth-eaten sheets still smelled of mildew.

  Smirt led them through the main sleeping room, which was little more than a hallway with two rows of tightly packed cots, filled with sleeping children. Sabrina and Daphne were assigned the last two empty beds and then forced to change into what Smirt called “orphanage attire,” bright orange jumpsuits that reminded Sabrina of prisoners’ clothes. When the girls were changed, Ms. Smirt led them to her office, where they were ordered to sit down.

  Smirt eyed the girls with contempt. “Imagine what a surprise it is to see my favorite orphans, Sally and Denise.”

  “First, we’re not orphans,” Sabrina replied. “Second, I’m Sabrina and this is Daphne.”

  “Yes, the Grimm sisters, the bane of my existence,” the woman replied.

  “Listen, let’s cut to the chase,” Daphne said. “You’re going to send us to live with some nutcase and we’re going to escape like we always do. You should probably just send us back to live with our grandmother. At least then we are out of your hair.”

  Sabrina was stunned by her sister’s bold speech. It sounded like something Sabrina herself might have said.

  Smirt smiled, a frightening sight. “Well, if you would kindly explain your plan to the city, I’m all for it. Unfortunately, I’m required by law to keep trying to place you in a good home no matter how pointless it all seems.”

  The caseworker opened a drawer in her desk, took out some forms, and scribbled some notes. Sabrina could read them upside down. Smirt had written “incorrigible troublemakers” on the form and underlined it after adding several exclamation points at the end.

  “I have some good news for you girls,” the caseworker offered. “I’ve already found you a foster home that is willing to take you in.”

  “We don’t want to go to a foster home. Our grandmother is going to take us back as soon as she can,” Daphne said.

  “I highly doubt that. The orphanage doesn’t make a habit of letting people take care of children who encourage them to risk their lives on the high seas. Maybe someday … when I’m in charge,” Smirt said wistfully. “But for now you’re going to live with a Mr. Greeley.”

  Their caseworker snatched a folder off a stack of books and opened it. Sabrina noticed the title of the book on top. It was called The Purpose-Driven Life.

  “Mr. David Greeley is currently in prison but he’s getting out tomorrow and will pick you up as soon as he has met with his parole officer,” Smirt said.

  “Prison! What was he in prison for?” Sabrina said.

  “Hmmm, let me see. Oh, here it is. Murder,” the caseworker said.

  “Murder?” the girls cried, nearly jumping out of their chairs.

  “Yes, he murdered someone. No, I’m wrong. That was someone else,” Ms. Smirt said.

  Sabrina caught her breath and eased back in her seat.

  “No, Mr. Greeley murdered several people. Seven to be exact. Beat them to death with a crowbar,” Smirt said.

  “You’re going to send us to live with a serial killer?” Sabrina said.

  “No, I’m sending you to live with a former serial killer. Mr. Greeley is rehabilitated. Now, off to bed with you. Newbies have to fix breakfast for everyone so you better get some sleep.”

  Smirt shoved the girls down the hall and back into the sleeping area. They found their beds among the rows of snoring, groaning children, and crawled underneath the scratchy blankets. Sabrina’s cot was next to a window that had a baseball-sized hole in it. The cold wind blew directly onto her feet, so she tucked herself into a ball for warmth. Before Ms. Smirt left, she handcuffed the girls to their beds.

  “Well, I suppose you’re happy now,” Daphne said when Smirt had scurried back to her office.

  “Happy? Why would I be happy about this?”

  “Isn’t this what you wanted? To get away from Granny, the Everafters, and Ferryport Landing? Now you can pretend none of it ever happened.”

  “Daphne, I—”

  “Every step you fought her. You’ve complained and disobeyed and been a real—”

  “Jerkazoid?”

  “Yes!” the little girl cried. “And don’t use my word.”

  “Daphne, I’m only trying to protect us, all of us. Can’t you see what has been happening since we moved in with Granny? I accidentally killed the giant. I nearly got Mr. Canis killed when the school exploded—and look what’s happening to him. Puck had his wings torn off trying to protect me and now Cobweb is dead, too. I’m jinxed. I’m not meant to be a Grimm. Everyone I’m close to is in danger, including you.”

  “That’s crazy talk,” the little girl whispered.

  “I don’t even want to be a fairy-tale detective. Neither did Dad, and when he had his opportunity to walk away, he took it. He did it because he thought this life was too dangerous and he was right. I don’t want my sister to get killed or fall under some twisted nutcase’s magical spell. I want us to get out now while we still can. If Mom had done the same thing, who knows how our lives would be.”

  “Our mother was trying to help people,” Daphne said. “So she failed. I’d rather try and fail than stand by and watch people suffer. We’re Grimms. That’s what we really do. Help people.”

  “Daphne, I—”

  “I’m getting out of here with or without you, Sabrina,” Daphne said. She turned her back on her sister and grew very still. Sabrina knew her well enough to know that talking was over for the night. She only wished that her sister could see her point of view. She had been a “jerkazoid” in the past, but this time she was truly thinking of someone other than herself. With her free hand, she reached for her coat at the end of her bed, searched its pockets, and found her mom’s wallet. She opened it up and found the picture she had grown to adore. She stared into her mother’s face, unsure of whom Veronica Grimm really was. How could she be so close to her and not know anything about her? Why did Veronica choose this life? Why wouldn’t anyone, given the choice, just walk away?

  Smirt woke them early and seemed to enjoy the fact that the girls were exhausted. She unlocked their handcuffs and dragged them out of bed and into the orphanage’s kitchen, where they were put to work on the morning breakfast, a disturbing combination of powdered eggs and milk that had a questionable expiration date. A hulking man, who had hairnets on both his head and beard, instructed them to add whatever he handed them out of the fridge to the mix. Several catfish went into the pot—heads, bones, eyes, and all. Next, a bottle of barbecue sauce, a greasy package of bologna, and some mushrooms that might have been picked out of the orphanage’s basement.

  When all the ingredients were added, the girls were given a huge wooden spoon, nearly as big as an oar, and told to stir the concoction until it boiled. Every couple of seconds a bubble would appear on the surface of the mix and pop, shooting out a hot spray of steam that scalded their han
ds. It was hard on Sabrina, but not nearly as hard as Daphne’s silence. She tried to talk to her sister several times and the girl just turned away. Deep down she wished for a “snot” or “jerkazoid,” but the little girl refused to even insult her.

  When “breakfast” was ready, the girls were required to serve it to all the dirty, half-asleep children who staggered through the meal line. There were many faces Sabrina recognized, kids who would probably be in the orphanage until they were old enough to get jobs. None of them seemed to care that the Grimm sisters had returned except for Harold Dink. Harold was a freckle-faced kid with a skin condition that resembled the mange; many patches of his bright red hair were missing. When he got to the counter he sneered, pointed, and laughed. “Hey, everybody! Look! The Sisters Ugly are right back where they started.”

  “You know, Harold, you should really be nice to the people who are serving you breakfast. You never know what might accidentally fall into your eggs,” Daphne said.

  “You don’t have the guts, geek.”

  Even though Daphne wasn’t speaking to her, Sabrina instinctively came to her defense. “Hey Harold! Why don’t you go steal some more money out of Smirt’s office and then pretend you found it for her? How did that turn out the last time? Didn’t she send you to live in a petting zoo?”

  The kids in line roared with laughter. Harold slammed down his tray and stomped away.

  Sabrina and Daphne were the last ones allowed to eat, though neither had much of an appetite for what was left at the bottom of the pot. Instead, they grabbed a couple slices of stale bread and found a table in the back of the cafeteria. Sabrina took a bite of her bread and cringed. It was as tough as cardboard.

  “I suppose we’re going to meet Greeley today,” she said. But despite their united assault on Harold, Daphne didn’t respond. Defeated, Sabrina went back to her bread and munched as quietly as she could.

  David Greeley was a skinny guy with stringy muscles and thin chicken legs. His face could have used a shave two weeks earlier, and he had a crooked smile to match his crooked teeth. His forearms were covered in tattoos, many of which looked as if they had been done while riding a horse.

  “Yo!” he said when he met them on the front steps of the orphanage.

  “Say hello to your new daddy,” Ms. Smirt said as she reached down and gave the girls one of her trademark pinches on the shoulder.

  Sabrina nodded at their new foster father, but Daphne said nothing.

  “Good, they’re quiet. Nothing worse than a couple of yapping kids,” the man said. “I had a neighbor who had a dog that made a lot of noise. He ain’t got no dog no more if you know what I mean.” Greeley made a gesture as if he were cocking a shotgun.

  Daphne crinkled up her nose and looked as if she was preparing to kick the man in the shins. Sabrina stopped her with a warning hand on the shoulder.

  Greeley bent over and rubbed the girls’ heads as if they were beagles. “Let’s get some things straight, girls. I’m in charge. I don’t take no guff and I don’t give no guff.”

  “What does guff’mean?” Daphne asked.

  Sabrina shrugged.

  “It means lip, sass, back talk,” Greeley answered. “I’m your father now and as your father I deserve a little respect. You do what I say without question and things will go smooth. You don’t do what I say then we’re going to have problems. There’s only one way to do things—my way or the highway.”

  “So, just to be clear, you want us to do what you tell us to do,” Sabrina said, though she knew the sarcasm was lost on Greeley. He nodded and smiled. Smirt, on the other hand, gave her another painful pinch.

  “It’s important to be firm,” Ms. Smirt said. “Tough love might just be what these girls need.”

  “Yeah, so, you said I was going to get some cash for this,” Greeley said.

  “Yes, your assistance check will come in the mail in seven to ten days,” Smirt replied.

  Greeley frowned and spit something brown onto the ground. “Well, there goes Atlantic City, doesn’t it? Come on, kids. I just got out of the joint and haven’t seen my old lady in years. If she plays her cards right she might be your new mommy.”

  Sabrina took her sister’s hand and allowed Mr. Greeley to lead them to his pickup truck.

  “Don’t come back, girls,” Ms. Smirt said with a wicked smile.

  The girls climbed into Greeley’s truck and he gunned the engine, then whipped it into fourth gear and let the wheels spin until they burned tracks on the ground. He chuckled to himself as if proud of this display, then shifted back into first gear.

  “All right, let’s get into some trouble,” he said.

  He drove through the city with reckless abandon. He made turns that were far too dangerous for the amount of snow on the ground and cut people off with glee. He ran several red lights and swore at everyone he saw. He turned one corner and hit a patch of slushy snow, showering water and filth on an old man with a cane. Then he blasted his horn and laughed.

  “That was mean!” Daphne shouted.

  “That’s why it was funny,” Greeley said.

  “You should go back and see if he’s OK.”

  “Yeah right, kid. I’m not going back to check on that old fool. You don’t go back to help someone if you meant to hurt them. He’d beat me to death with his walking stick. Don’t you know nothing?”

  “What did you just say?” Sabrina asked. “About not going back.”

  “I said you never go back. What would I say? I’m not sorry? You only go back if you want to help.”

  Greeley’s words echoed in Sabrina’s head. You don’t go back to help someone if you meant to hurt them.

  “Daphne, Cobweb didn’t kill Oberon!” Sabrina cried.

  Daphne turned to her sister. “What?”

  “He came back to check on us. He thought we might have been hurt. In fact, he came back twice. Those aren’t the actions of a guilty person.”

  “What the heck are you two babbling about?” Greeley asked.

  Sabrina ignored him. “He was worried about us.”

  “But Oberon told us that Cobweb killed him,” Daphne argued. “Do you think he was lying?”

  “No, yes, I mean, I don’t know. Oberon was a lunatic but there are other things that don’t add up. Both Oberon and Cobweb said they had never heard of the Scarlet Hand. Then how did their mark get on the king’s body?” Sabrina asked.

  “Someone else must have put it there,” Daphne said. “Then why did Oberon think Cobweb was the killer?”

  “Cobweb was the last person the king saw before he died. He brought him some wine to celebrate their plans. What if someone put the poison in the wine before Cobweb even got it?”

  “Hey! Why don’t you go back to the no-talky-talky that you were doing when we met. You’re givin’ me a migraine,” Greeley complained.

  “We’ve got to find Granny,” Daphne said.

  The car stopped at a red light and before Sabrina knew what was happening, Daphne had jumped out of the car, dragging Sabrina with her. The girls had pulled this trick a dozen times but Sabrina had always taken the lead. This time Daphne was doing it and Sabrina was completely unprepared. She fell on the icy pavement as Greeley threw his door open and ran after them screaming, “You come back here!”

  Daphne raced ahead, seemingly unaware that Sabrina had fallen. Before the older girl could get to her feet, she felt Greeley’s hands in her long blonde hair. He was yanking her up by it.

  “Let’s go get your sister,” he said, pulling her along with one hand and carrying a crowbar in the other. They crossed a busy street, dodging cars and pedestrians, then zipped into an alley. Unfortunately, Daphne had led them all into a dead end. Sabrina watched her sister spin around in panic.

  “I thought you were right behind me,” Daphne cried. “I’m sorry.”

  Greeley dragged Sabrina into the alley and tossed her at her sister’s feet. Then he smacked his crowbar into the palm of his hand. It made a sickening sound.
br />   “What did I say? What did I say?” he growled. “I said it’s my way or the highway.”

  “I guess we took the highway,” Sabrina said, rubbing her sore head.

  “Now we’ve got a problem,” Greeley said. “You see, I’ve got me a temper and when I get angry I do things I regret.”

  “Don’t take another step toward us!” Sabrina shouted.

  “See, this is what I’m talking about. I don’t want no guff, you little brat,” Greeley said. “Didn’t they tell you I’d killed seven people?”

  “Is that all?” a voice said from above. Sabrina looked up and saw a huge figure dropping out of the sky. He landed on the ground hard, cracking the cement underneath him. When he stood, Sabrina smiled. It was Mr. Canis. “Hardly a number I’d brag about.”

  Greeley took a step back but then clenched his fists. “Where did you come from? OK, you want to get in my business?” He swung his crowbar threateningly.

  “I know I want to get into your business,” another voice said from behind the thug. It was Mr. Hamstead.

  “I was thinking I’d like to as well,” a third voice said from above. It was Bess, floating down from the sky with her rocket pack blasting. She touched down on the ground and the flame went out.

  “What are you people?” Greeley screamed.

  “We’re fairy tales,” Mr. Hamstead said. “It’s time for your bedtime story.”

  Hamstead punched Greeley in the face, and the greasy criminal fell over like a tree. Bess walked over and kicked the man as he curled up into a ball. Mr. Canis, on the other hand, stood by looking bored. Sabrina could have watched the beating all day but a hand was on her shoulder. She turned and found Granny Relda standing behind her. Daphne was hugging the old woman with all her might but Granny still had a free hand to pull Sabrina into the embrace.

  “Come along, girls, we need to leave the city as quickly as possible. I’m afraid I may have gotten the family into a lot of trouble with this incident,” Granny replied. “Smirt will surely send the police to arrest me for kidnapping.”