Ouspensky said nothing.

  “Pasha over there thinks you are not fit to live with pigs, Lieutenant.”

  “But you defended me, sir. You told him I was.”

  “Exactly. You have been my good friend, Nikolai. I cannot leave you behind. Now come.”

  The men laid down their weapons.

  Walking behind the two able-bodied, limping Germans, Alexander carried Pasha on his back, Ouspensky carried the head-wounded German on his, and Demko the concussed. In this manner, single

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  file, they moved through the woods, through the felled trees and the trench holes, through the pillboxes and the bushes. Unarmed, Alexander slowly walked to the German defense line that stretched for maybe half a kilometer. He knew he couldn’t talk them out of shooting him no matter how much he said Schießben Sie nicht . Instead, he walked a kilometer to the flank.

  He was stopped by a cry from the woods. “Halt! Bleiben Sie stehen. Kommen Sie nicht naheres!”

  Alexander made out two sentries with machine guns. He stopped and did not go any farther just as instructed.“Schießben Sie nicht, schießben Sie nicht,” he shouted back.

  Pasha whispered into his ear, “Tell them you’ve got wounded Germans with you. ‘Wir haben verwundetes Deutsch mit uns.’”

  Alexander called out, “Wir haben—”

  “Verwundetes—”

  “Verwundetes Deutsch mit uns.”

  There was silence from the German side, as if they were conferring.

  Alexander raised his bloodied, once-white towel. “Wir übergeben!” We surrender.

  “Very good,” said Pasha. “So they taught you how to say it, just forbid you to do it.”

  “I learned in Poland,” Alexander replied, waving his flag. “Verwundetes Deutsch!” he called out again. “

  Wir übergeben!”

  The Germans took the four of them prisoner. They took Pasha and the other Germans to the medic’s tent, sewed up Pasha’s throat, gave him antibiotics. Then Alexander was interrogated, why had he taken German prisoners when it was against Soviet policy? They had also questioned the German soldiers, and from them learned that Pasha—taken care of like a German—was not German. They promptly relieved Pasha of his German uniform and rank, put him into prisoner clothes, and when he was better, transported him, Alexander, and Ouspensky to an Oflag internment camp in Catowice, Poland. Corporal Demko, being an enlisted man, was sent to a Stalag elsewhere.

  Alexander knew that the Germans spared their lives only because he came to them bearing not weapons but woundedGerman men. The Germans thought the Soviets were worse than animals for letting their own soldiers perish of wounds on the battlefield. Alexander, Ouspensky and Demko were spared because they acted like human beings and not like Soviets.

  Pasha had told Alexander the Germans had two kinds of POW camps, and he was right. This one was divided into two parts—one for the Allied prisoners, one for the Soviets. In the Allied camps, the prisoners were treated according to the rules of war. The text of the 1929 Geneva Convention on treatment of prisoners was proudly displayed in those camps. In the Soviet camps, separated from the Allies by barbed wire, the prisoners were treated according to the rules of Stalin. They weren’t given medical attention, they weren’t given food beyond bread and water. They were interrogated and beaten and tortured and finally left to die. The other Soviet prisoners were forced to dig graves for their fallen comrades.

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  Alexander didn’t care how he was treated. He was near Germany, a few kilometers from the Oder river, and he was with Pasha. He waited patiently for the Red Cross nurses to come through the camps and was surprised and slightly disheartened when they did not. There were soldiers sick and dying even on the Allied side. Yet even for the French and the English there was no Red Cross. No one would give him a clear answer as to why, not even the major who interrogated him, not even the guards who manned his barracks. Pasha said something must have happened to make the Germans forbid the Red Cross access through their camps.

  “Yes, they’re losing the war,” said Ouspensky. “That’s bound to make anyone less agreeable to the rules.”

  “No one was talking to you,” snapped Pasha.

  “Oh, God, the both of you!” exclaimed Alexander.

  “Lieutenant,” said Pasha to Ouspensky, “why can’t you leave us alone for just a moment? Why are you always at our side?”

  “What do you have to hide, Metanov?” asked Ouspensky. “Why such need to be alone all of a sudden?”

  Alexander walked away from them. They followed him. Pasha said, sighing with resignation at Ouspensky’s presence, “I think we should try to escape. What’s the point of staying here?”

  Alexander snorted mildly. “There are no floodlights and no watchtowers. I don’t think it can be called escaping, Commander,” he said, pointing out a hole five meters wide in the barbed wire fence. “I think it’s called leaving.”

  He himself did not want to run at first, hoping for the IRC to come through. But as weeks went by and the conditions in the camp deteriorated and the IRC was nowhere in sight, he concluded they had no choice. The barbed wire had been fixed. They used wire cutters, found in the engineer’s tool shed, to cut through another hole and run. The three of them were picked up four hours later by two guards from the camp who came after them in a Volkswagen Kübel. Upon their return, the commandant of the camp, Oberstleutnant Kiplinger said, “You’re crazy. Where did you think you were headed? There is nowhere to go, there is just more of this. I’ll let you off this time, but don’t do it again.” He gave Alexander a cigarette. They both lit up.

  “Where is the Red Cross, Commandant?”

  “What do you care where the Red Cross is? Like they ever come for you. No packages for the Soviet men, Captain.”

  “I know that. Just wanted to know where they were, that’s all.”

  “New decree. They’re forbidden to inspect the camps.”

  Alexander kept as clean as he could, shaved scrupulously, and made himself useful by offering to work for the commandant. Kiplinger, against the rules of the Geneva Convention and in accordance with Alexander’s wishes, gave him a saw, nails and a hammer and let him build more barrack housing for the prisoners. Ouspensky helped him, but it was too hard for him in the wet winter with only one lung.

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  Pasha volunteered to work in the kitchen, and that way managed to steal enough extra food for himself and Alexander, and reluctantly for Ouspensky also.

  That was at the end of November 1944. December came and went, the camps filled up. Alexander couldn’t build the new barracks fast enough in the freezing weather. The barracks in both the Allied and the Soviet camps normally held a thousand men. Now, stretched beyond limits, they held ten thousand.

  “Lieutenant Ouspensky,” Alexander said, “I find it ironic that they should have so many Soviet men here when the law against surrender is so clear. I just can’t understand it. Can you explain that?”

  “They’re obviously renegades like you, Captain.”

  There was not enough food or water for everyone. Soldiers remained filthy and bred disease on their soiled bodies. The barbed wire came down, the camps became as one. The Germans were clearly unable to figure out what to do with 5,000 Soviet POWs. Aside from the Soviet contingent, there were Romanians, Bulgarians, Turks and Poles.

  There were no Jews anywhere.

  “Where are all the Jews?” one Frenchman asked, in broken English, and Alexander in Russian replied dryly that they were all in Majdanek, but the Frenchman and the Englishman didn’t understand and stepped away from him. Ouspensky was nearby, and Alexander did not want to arouse suspicion by talking in English.

  “Captain, how do you know there aren’t any Jews in this camp?” asked Ouspensky as t
hey walked back to their barracks.

  “Don’t you remember getting bathed and deloused when they first brought us here?” asked Alexander.

  “Yes. They don’t want to interrogate us filthy. They bathe and delouse us as a matter of course.”

  “Indeed they do, Lieutenant. They also, while you’re naked, as a matter of course make sure you aren’t Jewish. If you were, I guarantee you would not be here.”

  In the meantime, there were rumors of grave American losses in Hürtgen Forest near the Ardennes in Belgium and of carnage and bestial fighting and no relief or capitulation in sight.

  Each morning Alexander worked, repaired, built, supervised other prisoners, and each afternoon he repaired the barbed wire fence on the perimeter of the camp, or the windows in the broken compounds, or cleaned empty weapons, anything to keep his hands busy. For that he was fed a bit better. But it wasn’t enough. Pasha reminded Alexander of his own experience in the prisoner camp at Minsk, where the Germans, unable to figure out what to do with all those Soviets, just let them all die.

  “Well, they can’t let all the Allied POWs die.”

  “Oh, they can’t, can’t they? What are we going to do, chase them straight to hell to hold them accountable? I say we try to escape again. You repair that stupid fucking fence all the time. It’s constantly falling down.”

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  “Yes, but now they have a sentry watching just me.”

  “Let’s kill him and run.”

  “It’s Catholic Christmas tomorrow. Can we not kill him on Christmas perhaps?”

  “Since when are you so religious?” asked Pasha.

  “Oh, the Captain and God go back a long way,” said Ouspensky, and both he and Pasha laughed at Alexander’s expense, which he thought was better than the enmity that existed between them all other hours of the day.

  They were given extra coal to heat their barracks rooms for Christmas. They were also given a bit of vodka. There were twenty officers in their quarters. They drank and played cards, and chess, and then got drunk enough to sing rowdy Soviet songs, “Stenka Razin” and “Katyusha,” and were all unconscious by morning.

  The day after Christmas, the sentry was sick and they didn’t have to kill him. He was sick and he fell asleep on the job. So they ran again, but it was winter and hard to get anywhere. The only trains were military trains. They caught one such train and were apprehended by a policeman at the very next stop, who thought their stolen uniforms were too ill-fitting. By the time they were returned to Catowice, the sentry was dead of pleurisy before he could be shot for dereliction. The three of them were called to Commandant Kiplinger again.

  “Captain Belov, you see I run my camp very lax. I don’t care what you do. You want work, I give you work. You want more food, if there is some, I give it to you. I let you run around the whole camp, I don’t watch you as long as you stay within the boundaries. I think that’s fair, you obviously don’t think so, and under your command these two fools follow like sheep. Well, now you’re done, you’re leaving. I told you last time, you try it once more and you’re finished here. Didn’t you believe me? I don’t want any problems with you. Don’t you know they shoot us for losing prisoners under our command?”

  “Where are we going?”

  “To a place from which there is no escape,” Kiplinger said with satisfaction. “Colditz Castle.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  New York, January 1945

  ON NEW YEAR’S DAY, Tatiana went across the bay with Anthony for a solitary walk, and then met up with Vikki to go skating in Central Park. They took a bus uptown and finally stopped at the corner of 59th Street and Sixth Avenue. Tatiana sent Anthony and Vikki into the park, saying she had to run a quick errand.

  She went to a phone booth near the Plaza Hotel. She waited a few moments, fingering the dimes in her pocket. She took the dimes out and counted them, though she knew how many she had. Finally she dialed a number.

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  “Happy New Year, Sam,” she said into the phone. “Is this bad time?”

  “Happy New Year, Tatiana. This is fine, I was catching up on some urgent work at the office today.”

  She waited. She held her breath.

  “I have nothing for you,” he said.

  “Nothing?”

  “No.”

  “They did not contact you—”

  “No.”

  “Not even about me?”

  “No. They’re probably busy with other things, like how best to carve up Europe.”

  She breathed out. “Silly of me to keep calling, making it uncomfortable for you.”

  “I don’t mind. Really. Call again in a month.”

  “I will. You are really too kind to me. Thank you.” Tatiana hung up and waited a few seconds, her head pressed into the cold metal frame of the phone.

  Finally Tatiana agreed to find an apartment to share with Vikki. The girls moved in together in January of 1945. Tatiana had found a three-bedroom, two-bathroom, rent-controlled place on Church Street on the sixth floor. It was very close to Bowling Green and Battery Park. From her living room window she could see New York Harbor and Lady Liberty, and Ellis Island if she went out onto the fire escape.

  The apartment cost the girls fifty dollars a month, and though Vikki said in the beginning that she was not used to working to pay the rent instead of buying new clothes, they were both quite happy in the new place. Tatiana because there was a place finally to put all the books she was buying, and because her son finally had his own room, and because she herself had her own room. Mostly that was just brave talk.

  Tatiana slept with her son, her blankets and pillows on the floor next to Anthony. She said when he stopped nursing, she would go to her own bedroom. At eighteen months, he stopped nursing. She remained on the floor.

  Bread. Flour, milk, butter, salt, eggs, yeast. A complete food. Bread.

  Vikki tried to figure out why every other night at eleven they had to make yeast dough by hand, and Tatiana finally said to her, “So that in morning, I don’t have to leave my house to go get warm bread for my family.” Vikki did not ask again, but every morning before she had Tania’s fresh croissants or fresh rolls or fresh crusty loaf with some black coffee and a cigarette, she smacked her lips and said, “Give us

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  this day our daily bread.”

  “Amen,” said Tatiana.

  “Hey Men!” repeated Anthony.

  “Who taught you to make such delicious bread, Tania?”

  “My sister. She taught me how to cook.”

  “She must have been a very good cook.”

  “She was good teacher.” She taught me how to tie my shoes and how to swim and how to tell time.

  “How did she die?”

  “She…she didn’t get enough of her daily bread, Vikki.”

  Can’t do enough, she thought, staring at the ceiling. Too many minutes and seconds to fill the day. Look at me now. I got up at six, and got Anthony up for Isabella, thank God she comes here to take care of him. I was at Ellis from eight until four, and then at Red Cross until six to take blood for an hour and to fill their POW medical kits to be sent overseas. I picked up Anthony from Isabella’s, took him to the park, bought food, cooked dinner, played with him, bathed him, put him to bed, and listened to the radio and listened to Vikki, and made bread dough for tomorrow. Now it’s after one and Vikki and Anthony are asleep, but here I still am, staring up at the ceiling, because there is not enough for me to do.

  I need to do until I’m too tired even for nightmares.

  Until I’m too exhausted by my American life to see his face.

  He holds her waist in his hands, his face wet, his hair wet, his teeth gleaming like the river. He counts one, two, three, and flings her as far as he can into the Kama, and the
n hurls himself on top of her. She dives under him, wriggles free and swims away. He chases her, threatening her with all kinds of bodily harm when he catches her, and she slows down a bit, so that he can.

  With her heart resolutely turned to the east, Tatiana made bread and bought seven varieties of bacon with her ration cards, she bought pots and pans and kitchen utensils, towels and sheets, she so liked the stores, the fruit stands, the butchers, the supermarkets, the corner delis. With inexorable force, Tatiana’s physical body moved forward while the spirit of Tatiana languished relentlessly in the past. He had found her, a Lazarevo orphan waiting for him, and made her whole.

  But she couldn’t find him. She barely even tried. What a poor effort it had been. Not: I’m not going to stop until I find you, Shura, but I couldn’t find a babysitter, sorry, Shura. She began to hate herself, a first for her. Not even in the days when she played the moral roulette with Dasha and Alexander, did Tatiana feel such a gnawing self-loathing.

  No matter how many times Vikki asked, Tatiana would not go dancing at a club called Ricardo’s up in

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  Greenwich Village on Astor Place on Saturday night. She would not buy a new dress, she would not buy new shoes.

  “You must come with me to Elks Rendezvous in Harlem,” Vikki said. “It’s some place! Great dancing, lots of doctors.”

  “There is no fury like a woman trying to find herself a new lover,” said Tatiana, quoting from a book she just read. “Have you readThe Unquiet Grave by Cyril Connolly? I highly recommend it.”

  “Forget this reading business. Do you want to go see Bette Davis and Leslie Howard inOf Human Bondage at the Apollo?”

  “Maybe other time.”

  “There is no other time! This Friday night, let’s go to Lady Be Beautiful. I’ve been telling them about you, they’re very eager to meet you. We’ll get manicures, and then go out for dim sum on Mott Street, you have to try Chinese food, it’s fantastic, and then we’ll go to Elks Rendezvous.”