I.
Betty couldn’t find any scotch tape so she removed all the store coupons and football schedules from the refrigerator leaving it completely clear and put one state magnet on each of the four corners of the note to her husband Jim so he couldn’t possibly miss it. This is what the note said:
Dear Jim,
I am going out to rob the credit union. Don’t try to stop me. I know what I am doing. Here is the thing.… I got another one of those rejections yesterday and I didn’t want to tell you because you never sympathize, you just say you don’t understand why I waste my time writing stories when I could be making more money typing those stupid theses for those stupid pissant college students who don’t know their asses from a hole in the ground and I just don’t want to hear that anymore. If you can’t understand this need that I have to write then at least accept it. Well, be that as it may I’ve been seeing all these folks getting big book contracts after they’ve committed a crime or been a witness in a crime trial or a lawyer representing someone who committed a crime and I got the idea that if I robbed the credit union and got caught maybe I could get my stories published. And if I don’t get caught, well then we’ll be rich and god knows we could use more money. Either way, at the end of the day, I expect to be either rich or famous and you can’t beat that. I’ll see you later, sweetie.
Love, Betty