flesh though. They haven’t sat around and played Playstation or gone trick or treating with you. They haven’t touched or smelled you.’
‘Hey, steady,’ said Zeus. ‘It can’t be that bad.’ He sniffed his jumper and pulled a face. ‘Having said that…’
‘I love it,’ smiled Angelina. ‘It’s part of what makes you… well, you. I wouldn’t change it.’
They walked into the lounge and Angelina’s mum got up from the sofa and greeted Zeus with a curtsey.
‘Hey, remember what I said the other day,’ said Zeus. ‘There’ll be none of that around me thank you.’
‘I’m sorry.’ Angelina’s mum blushed slightly. ‘Have you had a nice week?’
‘Nice? Err… well yes, I guess I have. I’ve been to Lapland, you know.’
‘Lapland? Why on earth did you go there?’
‘To visit you know who of course!’
‘Oh give me a break,’ laughed Angelina. ‘I’ve only just started believing in you. Don’t get me started on Father Christmas.’
‘I’m serious,’ said Zeus holding up his hands. ‘I was with him yesterday discussing the behaviour of all the little children in the world.’
Angelina fixed him with a mock scowl. ‘You’re saying that there’s a fat old man who lives in the depths of Finland and works the whole year round to make presents for children?’
‘Oh don’t be silly,’ said Zeus with a wink at her mother. ‘This is the twenty-first century you know. He’s more into outsourcing and managing supply chains nowadays.’
‘And what about Rudolph?’
Zeus’ face dropped. ‘I’m afraid I’ve got some difficult news for you. Rudolph’s dead. He passed on a few years back. I’m sorry.’
‘Hey, it’s OK,’ said Angelina trying to keep a straight face. ‘Up until ten seconds ago I did not think that he existed either. I think I’ll be able to cope with that news.’
Zeus laughed, which sent both Angelina and her mother off as well.
‘Anyway,’ said Zeus when he had regained himself. ‘I was planning to make a little trip down to the retail park to pick up some bits. Would you like to join me?’
‘Of course I would,’ said Angelina looking at her mum, who smiled and nodded.
‘We won’t be gone long,’ said Zeus. ‘I promise I’ll bring her back in one piece.’
‘You’d better,’ laughed her mum.
The two of them left the flat and walked down Eastbury Road in the direction of the Arches. They crossed at the lights just before the railway bridge and kept left at the roundabout, heading past the Mercedes showroom. It was a crisp December morning and the roads were jammed up with cars heading to the retail parks to do some Christmas shopping.
‘So, how have you been?’ asked Zeus as they went.
‘Do you really need to ask that?’ replied Angelina, not unkindly. ‘Surely you must know.’
‘You’re right, I was just being polite,’ smiled Zeus. ‘I know, for example, what great strength of character you have shown to come through such a frightening experience with so little effect on you emotionally.’
‘I doubt it would have been the same if you hadn’t shown up. But when you did it was like nothing else mattered. I knew nothing bad could happen to me and all that had passed was pretty much forgotten. I can’t really explain it. I guess most people would have been scarred by it, but if I’m honest, I don’t even hate Derek for it. I pity him.’
‘Is that why you didn’t press charges?’
‘Yes. And the fact that we’ve all got only a few weeks to live made it seem a little pointless.’
‘Angelina, you’re more grown up than most adults I’ve met,’ said Zeus. ‘So, what now?’
‘Well, I intend to make sure that this Christmas is the best ever.’
‘You’re with the right person then,’ Zeus grinned.
‘Yes, I suppose I am,’ laughed Angelina. ‘Hey, I hadn’t really thought about it in that way. It’s your birthday isn’t it? How old are you going to be?’
‘Buggered if I know,’ said Zeus. ‘Old enough to make putting all the candles on a cake an expensive and dangerous business. I stopped keeping track a long time ago.’
‘Well, we’ve got to celebrate it properly.’
‘Ah, well that’s partly why we’ve come out this morning. I’m looking for some decorations.’
‘Oh really? Anything in particular?’
‘Yes actually. I’m going for the more traditional theme. I’ve seen a lot of houses around town dressed up in all kinds of crap. I mean, what the hell do penguins and hot air balloons have to do with Christmas? It wouldn’t be so bad, but Father Christmas hasn’t ever seen a penguin. They live on the opposite side of the world and it’s always nighttime when he does his deliveries.
They rounded the corner into the B&Q car park and walked through the entrance to the main warehouse. It was bustling with shoppers and the aisles were lined with banners screaming, ‘Special Christmas Sale – Now On!’ and ‘Up To Half Price Off Selected Lines!’
‘Bloody hell, I didn’t expect it to be this busy,’ said Zeus, craning his neck above the throng. ‘Let’s see if we can find someone to help us.’
‘Look out for someone in a fetching orange apron,’ said Angelina.
‘I see one!’ said Zeus. ‘Follow me.’
He cut a swathe through the crowds, with Angelina following in his wake.
‘Excuse… ‘scuse me… hey!’ called Zeus as they got close.
A boy in his late teens turned round. By the look of him he would have been anywhere in the world but working in the store at that moment. Then his eyes clamped on Zeus.
‘Can I help you?’ he asked, looking him up and down disdainfully.
‘Yeah,’ replied Zeus, ignoring (or oblivious to) his rude manner. ‘I’m looking for one of those outdoor inflatable ornament thingies that I’ve seen everywhere.’
The boy heaved a sigh. ‘Follow me,’ he said.
He pushed past them and led them back the way they had come, and then up one of the aisles.
‘You’re not getting one of those inflatables are you?’ said Angelina as they struggled to keep up. ‘They’re so tacky.’
Zeus merely glanced back and gave her a knowing wink. The boy stopped in front of a rack containing an assortment of quite hideous decorations.
‘Here you are,’ he said abruptly. ‘We’ve got Santas and Snowmen of different sizes. Pumps are over to your left.’
He turned to go.
‘Do you have a baby Jesus?’ asked Zeus scanning the racking. The boy stopped in his tracks.
‘Have we got a what?’ he asked.
‘A baby Jesus,’ Zeus replied. ‘See, I’m looking to do a whole nativity scene. You don’t need to worry about the inflatable sheep though. I know where I can get them from.’
He chuckled, but the boy looked less than amused.
‘We don’t have any baby Jesus’,’ he said.
‘What about Marys?’
‘No.’
‘Josephs?’
‘No, and we ain’t got no three kings neither,’ snapped the boy.
‘What? You’ve got no nativity characters at all?’
‘NO!’
‘Excuse me, is there a problem here?’
A man in a white shirt and blue tie, who was clearly a manager of some sort, had appeared behind the boy, who jumped at the sound of his voice.
‘No sir, no problem,’ he said.
‘Actually there is,’ said Zeus. ‘This lad tells me you’ve got no inflatable nativity characters in stock.’
The manager frowned.
‘I’m afraid we’ve never actually stocked them,’ he said.
‘Never stocked them?’ repeated Zeus. ‘But it’s Christmas!’
‘I am aware of that sir.’
‘Good, I’m glad. So you know what that means don’t you?’
The manager looked at him blankly.
‘You know, the whole birth of Christ, your Lord
and Saviour? Away in a manger? Hark the herald? Any of that ring any bells?’
Zeus was gesticulating so wildly that a number of other shoppers had stopped to watch what was unfolding.
‘I’m sorry sir, we don’t have anything like that,’ said the manager.
‘But you’ve got snowmen and Father Christmas. I don’t remember either of them at the birth of Christ. All I want is some characters for my nativity scene.’
‘Perhaps you could get them from the same place as the sheep!’ sniggered the boy.
‘Hey, that’s my mum you’re talking about,’ said Zeus sternly. The boy and the manager gave each other a funny look and a murmur rippled through the crowd. ‘Having said that,’ Zeus continued. ‘That’s not such a bad idea.’
‘Listen,’ said the manager trying to recover a situation that was rapidly running away from him. ‘We are not able to stack items with religious themes because it’s not politically correct. It may cause offence.’
There was an audible intake of breath from the gathered shoppers and the manager instantly knew that he had opened a whole new can of worms.
‘It’s a bloody religious festival!’ shouted someone.
‘Exactly,’ nodded Zeus. ‘Just like Ramadan or Hanukkah. What most people don’t get nowadays is that without Christians there would be no Christmas. By all means, celebrate it in your own way if you wish, but don’t stop them celebrating it in theirs.’
This last statement prompted a spontaneous cheer from the crowd. Quite whether they had all heard or understood what was going on was unclear, but they seemed to be enjoying the diversion from their shopping. The store assistant’s boss was far from enjoying himself however. He had turned bright red and his mouth was opening and closing like a goldfish.
‘So, who’s going to buy an inflatable baby Jesus from B&Q next year?’ asked