As Abuela Anabela used to say, con paciencia, se gana el cielo. With patience, you can win heaven. And that’s what Adan Jr. was to me, heaven.
Nevertheless, the waiting was difficult. Mrs. Newell did not agree to another visit after dinner. She said the baby was too fragile to be disturbed. She thought it was a mistake to start any visits this soon. It did me no good before to point out that I was his mother and not a visitor, so I didn’t even mention it.
I retreated to my room and tried to occupy my mind with thoughts about Edward and the weekend in Los Angeles, but nothing could stop me from breaking into tears every few hours. I was happy to fall asleep, but I woke up in the middle of the night because I thought I heard a baby’s cry. I listened hard, but it was very quiet. Could I have wanted so much to hear Adan Jr.’s voice that I imagined it, or could I somehow have heard him, even this far away?
I got out of bed, put on my robe and my slippers, and tiptoed out, down the hallway to the stairs. The house was always kept dimly lit. I stood at the foot of the stairway, listening hard. I did hear a baby’s cry. I wasn’t imagining it. Slowly, I climbed the stairs and then paused at the top. It was just as dimly lit up there. I listened again. Now I was positive I heard the baby crying. Why wasn’t Mrs. Newell attending to him? I inched my way along the shadowy hallway wall and saw that the door to Adan’s room was open. It was as dark in there as it was in the hallway.
Of course, I expected Mrs. Newell to leap out at me at any moment, but I continued to the room. When I looked inside, I froze. Sitting beside the crib, Señor Bovio, in his robe and slippers, had his head in his hands and was sobbing softly. Adan Jr. moved his arms and cried. Just as I started into the room, Mrs. Newell appeared, coming from the bathroom. She was in a nightgown, but there was something very different about her. She looked as if she were in a daze until she felt my presence and turned sharply to look at me.
“What’s wrong?” I asked. “Has something happened to my baby?”
“It’s none of your business,” she said, and closed the door in my face.
All I could do was stand there, terrified, my whole body shaking. Adan Jr.’s crying stopped, and it was silent, so silent I could hear the thumping of my own panic-stricken heart.
“Please, let me see him!” I cried, and knocked on the door. I might have been there for minutes, I wasn’t sure, but suddenly the door opened, and Mrs. Newell, now back in her uniform, stepped out.
I backed away.
She closed the door behind her.
“What is it? Why is Señor Bovio crying? Why was Adan Jr. crying so hard?”
“How dare you pound on this door like that?”
“I wasn’t pounding. What is happening?”
“This sneaking around and violating of my rules will end here and now,” she said instead of replying.
“I won’t leave here until I find out what’s going on. I want to speak with Señor Bovio. Señor!” I called. “Please!”
She shook her head calmly when he didn’t come to the door.
“Yelling like that won’t do you any good now. You might as well pack your things tonight. I assure you, you’ll be leaving tomorrow.”
“I won’t. I won’t leave my baby. You have no right to tell me what to do.”
“No, it is you who have no rights anymore, Delia, especially when it concerns the baby. Have you forgotten? You signed them away. Señor Bovio will have to choose between you and me, and whom do you think he will choose, Delia?”
“I don’t know what you’re doing, but I know you’re taking advantage of his sorrow. You’re a sick woman,” I said, gathering my courage.
“Am I? Who’s been in trouble with the law? Who nearly lost her baby because of drugs? Who signed away her baby for money? Whom will people be more inclined to believe, you or me?”
“I won’t—”
“Won’t what? Please stop wasting my time. It’s very late. Go to sleep. Enjoy your last night here. There’s a motel I can recommend, by the way. It caters to illegal immigrants. You’ll be right at home. Good night,” she said. She turned and went back into Adan’s room.
I heard the door being locked. I debated whether to pound on it again and again until Señor Bovio came to his senses, but I decided not to make a scene that could disturb Adan Jr. and give her more ammunition to shoot at me.
I’ve got to get help now, I thought. I’ve got to get her away from my baby. Somehow, I’ve got to make Señor Bovio see what is happening and why it is wrong for him as much as for Adan Jr.
I had no idea how I would do it, but I knew this was my sole purpose for living now.
I returned to my room to pray and call on the spirit of mi abuela Anabela to return to me and help me.
“Give me the strength; give me the wisdom,” I begged.
I closed my eyes, but I slept for only minutes on and off. I was exhausted when the morning light shattered the darkness and pulled the stars back into the sky. Somehow, however, I reached down deep and gathered the energy I needed to rise and dress and go face the enemy.
I knew that the enemy wasn’t simply Mrs. Newell or mi tía Isabela or mi prima Sophia.
It wasn’t simply the ojo malvado, either.
The enemy was my own fear, my own weakness.
There was so much first to defeat in myself before I could defeat the rest.
But I would do it. On the graves of my family, on the memories of my parents whom I cherished, on the very essence of my own soul, I pledged and swore that I would save the baby I had nearly lost once. I would win back the respect of my ancestors.
And in doing so, I would save all those I loved.
13
Fani
Señor Bovio was already at the table dressed for work. He had finished eating his breakfast and was simply sitting there, staring down, not even reading his paper. I stood there for a few moments, waiting for him to realize that I had entered the dining room, but he didn’t look up.
“Señor,” I said.
He raised his gaze from the table and turned slowly to me. For a moment, he looked as if he had completely forgotten who I was. Then he blinked, and his expression changed to a look of sternness, anger.
“Your car is outside, all registered and insured,” he said.
“My car?”
“It’s the last part of our agreement, isn’t it? It was delivered last night after dinner, a brand-new Jaguar. Now, you must pack your things and go.”
“Go where?”
“I have sent your application in. You’ll start nursing school next semester. Here is the name and address of the man I have employed to set you up in your apartment near the school,” he said. “Take it!” he shouted when I didn’t move.
His loud voice made me jump. I reached for the slip of paper but continued to shake my head.
“Señor, I don’t under—”
“You can let Fani know she doesn’t have to send a car for you. I’m sure she’ll be happy to help you settle yourself, too. She likes doing things like that.”
“But señor, please listen to me. Last night, I went upstairs—”
“No,” he said. “Don’t bother arguing. Mrs. Newell is very adamant about it. You’ve disturbed her too much, and I cannot lose her right now. Adan needs her. I need her.”
“You need her? What is she doing to you, señor? Please listen to me.”
“Good-bye,” he said. “There is no more discussion to be had.”
He rose and started out.
“Adan would hate you for this!” I cried. He stopped in the doorway but didn’t turn for a moment. “He would, señor. I know he would.”
“No, Delia,” he said, turning back to face me. “You do not understand. I hear his voice in this house.”
He looked at the ceiling as if he could hear him that very moment. Then he smiled at me.
“This is all for the best now. Go live your life, and make the best of yourself,” he said, and walked out.
I felt myself falling
into a panic. Once I left this compound, I would need a small army to get me back in to see my own baby. But what could I do about it now? I had signed the papers, and he had delivered on all his promises. For a few moments, I actually turned in a circle. I wanted to go back upstairs to see Adan Jr. before I left the hacienda. I was sure I wouldn’t be permitted to do so. Mrs. Newell would stop me. Teresa, who had overheard the discussion, looked at me with so much pity in her eyes I had to turn away. I looked at the front door, having the urge to run out and scream, and finally just walked back to my room to get my things together. I found two suitcases in my room and imagined Mrs. Newell had told one of the maids to bring them.
I was trembling so badly as I packed that I thought I would faint. Where would I go now? Certainly not back to mi tía Isabela’s hacienda. With my suitcases in hand, I stood dumbfounded in my room. I had such an empty feeling deep in my stomach when I thought about walking out that door and leaving my baby behind in this mad turmoil, but what choice did I have? I had been stupid to think I could play along and find a solution. Tía Isabela was right. I was out of my league.
Unable to think of anything or anyone else, I called Fani and got her on her cell phone as she was going between classes. I don’t know how she understood what I was saying. I was crying so hard.
“Look, I don’t have much time, Delia. This is all fine. I’ll let Edward know you’re coming. Take down my address. It’s easy to find it,” she said. “And I will help you get settled. Don’t forget to bring the information my cousin gave you. Here’s how you get here.”
I fumbled with a pen and scribbled down the directions to her apartment in Los Angeles. She wisely made me repeat it twice. Despite how easy she made it seem, it still sounded confusing to me. I didn’t know how I was holding myself together.
“I don’t know what I’m doing. I can’t think,” I told her.
“Calm down, Delia. You’ll get into an accident or something, and that won’t help anyone. Don’t worry. If you get lost, call. This is going to be so much fun for you. Stop crying. Relax. I’ll help you with everything. Everything will look different tomorrow. You’ll see. You’ll soon be enjoying your money just like I do,” she predicted, laughed, and hung up.
No one was waiting to say good-bye to me when I walked out carrying my suitcases. I was sure that all of the employees, including Teresa, were afraid of getting on Señor Bovio’s wrong side. How ironic this was when I thought about the way I had been greeted and viewed when I had first arrived here. I was like a goddess who had been brought back to earth, statues of her smashed.
I stood near the foot of the stairs and looked up, half expecting to see Mrs. Newell glaring down at me with satisfaction. I went to the doorway, paused for a moment to say a little prayer for Adan Jr., and stepped outside. I hadn’t even wondered about the car, but there it was, a brand-new silver Jaguar sedan.
I put my suitcases into the trunk and stood looking up at the hacienda, imagining Adan Jr. lying with his eyes open, expecting me to return. The images put a heavy weight on my chest. I took deep breaths to keep myself from collapsing. Then I got into the car and started the engine. I was moving like someone in a trance, going through the necessary motions.
The guard stepped out when I reached the gate. He was the one who had been there when Edward had tried to come see me. He stepped closer when I stopped. He looked into the car closely. Mi dios, I thought. He was checking to be sure I had not kidnapped my own baby. I wondered if Señor Bovio had given him those orders.
Satisfied, he stepped back and opened the gate for me. I drove out slowly and turned to the left, vaguely remembering the directions that would take me to the freeway and into Los Angeles. I must get to see Edward, I thought. He’ll know what I should do. Edward. That thought filled me with some new hope and helped me to relax.
As I approached the boundary of Señor Bovio’s estate, I was able to see the stable and the corral. Amigo was standing in the corral looking my way. He was nodding his head and pawing the ground as if he wanted to come charging after me.
“I’ll be back,” I promised him. “I’ll be back.”
He disappeared from my sight when I made another turn, and not long after, I was well on my way to Los Angeles. Driving actually calmed me down. Fani had given me very simple directions to follow, and a little more than two hours later, I was parking in front of her apartment building in downtown Los Angeles. I got out my suitcases and entered the lobby, where a doorman greeted me.
“I’m here to visit Estefani Cordova,” I said.
“Delia Yebarra?”
“Yes.”
“She’s expecting you. Take the elevator to the third floor. It’s apartment three C,” he said. “You need help with your suitcases?”
“No, I’m fine, thank you.” I wanted to add that there wasn’t much in either of them.
He came around his desk to push the elevator button for me. When the doors opened, I thanked him again and got in. I couldn’t imagine that this was typical student housing. It was clearly an expensive place to live. Everything looking new and clean, with the hallway on the third floor covered in what looked like a brand-new dark-brown carpet. Before I reached the door of 3C, Fani opened it.
“Jake called up to tell me you had arrived,” she said, holding out her arms to embrace me. “Told you that you would find it easily.”
“Gracias, Fani.”
She held me out at arm’s length and smiled. “Don’t look so frightened. You’re away from Nurse Diablo, aren’t you?”
“But I’m away from my baby, too,” I said.
“Don’t worry. You’ll get to see him plenty, I’m sure. Come on in. We’ll get you settled in the second bedroom. Edward is coming over in about an hour.”
I paused to look around. It was a large, beautifully decorated apartment.
“Do other students live like this?”
“No, stupid. We own this apartment. Daddy bought it when I decided to go to USC. Don’t worry. No one from my family comes to use it. This way,” she said, and led me down a short hallway to a very pretty bedroom with a king-size bed, new light-pink carpeting, and white velvet drapes.
“There’s no view to speak of,” she said. “This is the city, and we’re not high enough, but I’m not complaining.”
“No. I would not complain.”
“Here’s your bathroom. I’ve stocked it with everything you need.” She turned on the bathroom lights. It was marble and tile, with a large shower stall and tub. “That tub has power jets. You can bubble up and relax for hours. Good place to bring a boyfriend, too,” she added, smiling.
As soon as I started to blush, she added, “You’re perfect, Delia. College guys secretly love shy girls. It’s their egos. They have to be in charge. Hombres machos,” she said, laughing. “They’re easy to fool, believe me. Most of the boys you’ll meet are pretty immature, actually, especially if you compare them to someone like Adan Bovio, but you’ll find someone who fits for a while, I’m sure.”
“I’m not rushing to find anyone, Fani.”
“No, but they’ll be rushing you when they set eyes on you, Delia. I’ll have to admit, Nurse Diablo did a good job with your recuperation.”
“Only to get me on my feet faster so she could get rid of me. You don’t know what went on there.”
“Oh, I want to know. I want to know everything, of course. Get yourself settled in first,” she quickly added, as if she were afraid I might start to tell her the details. “We’ll have some wine and cheese and crackers while we’re waiting for Edward. Look in the closet. Go on, look.”
I looked at her suspiciously and then slid the doors open to see a half-dozen outfits hanging. There were still tags on them.
“This is for me?”
“Of course.”
“But when did you get all of this?”
“Oh, now and then,” she said cryptically.
“How did you know I would come here?”
“Where else would
you go? And even if you hadn’t, I would have brought it all to you wherever you were in Los Angeles. I’m pretty sure I have your size, but the tags are on them, so we can exchange anything we have to exchange. Pick out something for tonight, and we’ll deal with the rest later. We’re close to the same shoe size,” she said, nodding at the rack of shoes to match the outfits.
I was still amazed. Despite what she had just said and what she had done, she had sounded surprised that I was coming when I had called. I told her so.
“I didn’t think you would be leaving the Bovio hacienda this soon. You have lots of time before the nursing-school semester begins.”
“I didn’t think I’d leave, either. As I told you, he threw me out, but—”
“Get refreshed. Pick out something to wear,” she insisted. “Then we’ll talk more about it.”
I looked at the clothes again.
“You spent a lot of money.”
“So what? What’s it for? My father is feeling so guilty about what’s going on between him and my mother and what it supposedly is doing to me that he rains dollars down in torrents if I just make a small suggestion. He’s paving his way to forgiveness.” She laughed.
“It doesn’t really bother you?”
“I don’t think about it long enough for it to bother me. I’m not going to get depressed and sick over my parents. You have to be the same. We’ve got to think of ourselves, Delia. You have to learn how to spell ‘ME’ in capital letters all the time. By the time I’m finished with you, I’ll have a smile so deeply planted in your face people will think you’re the Joker’s sister.”
“Who?”
“From Batman. The Joker? Forget about it,” she said when I didn’t register understanding. “You’ll get the point eventually. Freshen up. We’ve got some living to catch up with, or you do, I should say. I’ve been having quite a good time.”