CHAPTER XXXIX.
Mr. Cheesacre's Hospitality.
As the winter wore itself away, Mr. Cheesacre, happy as he was amidstthe sports of Norfolk, and prosperous as he might be with the augeanspoils of Oileymead, fretted himself with an intense anxiety to bringto a close that affair which he had on his hands with the widowGreenow. There were two special dangers which disturbed him. Shewould give herself and all her money to that adventurer, Bellfield;or else she would spend her own money so fast before he got hold uponit, that the prize would be greatly damaged. "I'm ---- if she hasn'tbeen and set up a carriage!" he said to himself one day, as standingon the pavement of Tombland, in Norwich, he saw Mrs. Greenow issueforth from the Close in a private brougham, accompanied by one of theFairstairs girls. "She's been and set up her carriage as sure as myname's Cheesacre!"
Whatever reason he might have to fear the former danger, we maydeclare that he had none whatever as to the latter. Mrs. Greenow knewwhat she was doing with her money as well as any lady in England. Theprivate carriage was only a hired brougham taken by the month, and asto that boy in buttons whom she had lately established, why shouldshe not keep a young servant, and call him a page, if it gave her anycomfort to do so? If Mr. Cheesacre had also known that she had lentthe Fairstairs family fifty pounds to help them through with somedifficulty which Joe had encountered with the Norwich tradespeople,he would have been beside himself with dismay. He desired to obtainthe prize unmutilated,--in all its fair proportions. Any suchclippings he regarded as robberies against himself.
But he feared Bellfield more than he feared the brougham. Thatall is fair in love and war was no doubt, at this period, CaptainBellfield's maxim, and we can only trust that he found in it someconsolation, or ease to his conscience, in regard to the monstrouslies which he told his friend. In war, no doubt, all stratagems arefair. The one general is quite justified in making the other believethat he is far to the right, when in truth he is turning his enemy'sleft flank. If successful, he will be put upon a pedestal for hisclever deceit, and crowned with laurels because of his lie. IfBellfield could only be successful, and achieve for himself themastery over those forty thousand pounds, the world would forgive himand place, on his brow also, some not uncomfortable crown. In themean time, his stratagems were as deep and his lies as profound asthose of any general.
It must not be supposed that Cheesacre ever believed him. In thefirst place, he knew that Bellfield was not a man to be believedin any way. Had he not been living on lies for the last ten years?But then a man may lie in such a way as to deceive, though no onebelieve him. Mr. Cheesacre was kept in an agony of doubt while CaptainBellfield occupied his lodgings in Norwich. He fee'd Jeannetteliberally. He even fee'd Charlie Fairstairs,--Miss Fairstairs Imean,--with gloves, and chickens from Oileymead, so that he mightknow whether that kite fluttered about his dovecoat, and of whatnature were the flutterings. He went even further than this, andfee'd the Captain himself,--binding him down not to flutter asvalue given in return for such fees. He attempted even to fee thewidow,--cautioning her against the fluttering, as he tendered toher, on his knees, a brooch as big as a breast-plate. She waved asidethe breast-plate, declaring that the mourning ring which containedpoor Greenow's final grey lock of hair, was the last article from ajeweller's shop which should ever find a place about her person. Atthe same time she declared that Captain Bellfield was nothing to her;Mr. Cheesacre need have no fears in that quarter. But then, she added,neither was he to have any hope. Her affections were all buried underthe cold sod. This was harassing. Nevertheless, though no absolutesatisfaction was to be attained in the wooing of Mrs. Greenow, therewas a pleasantness in the occupation which ought to have reconciledher suitors to their destiny. With most ladies, when a gentleman hasbeen on his knees before one of them in the morning, with outspokenprotestations of love, with clearly defined proffers of marriage,with a minute inventory of the offerer's worldly wealth,--down evento the "mahogany-furnitured" bed-chambers, as was the case withMr. Cheesacre, and when all these overtures have been peremptorilydeclined,--a gentleman in such a case, I say, would generally feelsome awkwardness in sitting down to tea with the lady at the closeof such a performance. But with Mrs. Greenow there was no suchawkwardness. After an hour's work of the nature above described shewould play the hostess with a genial hospitality, that eased offall the annoyance of disappointment; and then at the end of theevening, she would accept a squeeze of the hand, a good, palpable,long-protracted squeeze, with that sort of "don't;--have done now,"by which Irish young ladies allure their lovers. Mr. Cheesacre, onsuch occasions, would leave the Close, swearing that she should behis on the next market-day,--or at any rate, on the next Saturday.Then, on the Monday, tidings would reach him that Bellfield hadpassed all Sunday afternoon with his lady-love,--Bellfield, to whomhe had lent five pounds on purpose that he might be enabled tospend that very Sunday with some officers of the Suffolk volunteersat Ipswich. And hearing this, he would walk out among those richheaps, at the back of his farmyard, uttering deep curses against thefalsehood of men and the fickleness of women.
Driven to despair, he at last resolved to ask Bellfield to come toOileymead for a month. That drilling at Norwich, or the part of itwhich was supposed to be profitable, was wearing itself out. Fundswere low with the Captain,--as he did not scruple to tell his friendCheesacre, and he accepted the invitation. "I'll mount you with theharriers, old fellow," Cheesacre had said; "and give you a littleshooting. Only I won't have you go out when I'm not with you."Bellfield agreed, Each of them understood the nature of the bargain;though Bellfield, I think, had somewhat the clearer understandingin the matter. He would not be so near the widow as he had been atNorwich, but he would not be less near than his kind host. And hishost would no doubt watch him closely;--but then he also could watchhis host. There was a railway station not two miles from Oileymead,and the journey thence into Norwich was one of half an hour. Mr.Cheesacre would doubtless be very jealous of such journeys, but withall his jealousy he could not prevent them. And then, in regardto this arrangement, Mr. Cheesacre paid the piper, whereas CaptainBellfield paid nothing. Would it not be sweet to him if he couldcarry off his friend's prize from under the very eaves of hisfriend's house?
And Mrs. Greenow also understood the arrangement. "Going to Oileymead;are you?" she said when Captain Bellfield came to tell her of hisdeparture. Charlie Fairstairs was with her, so that the Captain couldnot utilize the moment in any special way. "It's quite delightful,"continued the widow, "to see how fond you two gentlemen are of eachother."
"I think gentlemen always like to go best to gentlemen's houses wherethere are no ladies," said Charlie Fairstairs, whose career in lifehad not as yet been satisfactory to her.
"As for that," said Bellfield, "I wish with all my heart that dearold Cheesy would get a wife. He wants a wife badly, if ever a mandid, with all that house full of blankets and crockery. Why don't youset your cap at him, Miss Fairstairs?"
"What;--at a farmer!" said Charlie who was particularly anxious thather dear friend, Mrs. Greenow, should not marry Mr. Cheesacre, and whoweakly thought to belittle him accordingly.
"Give him my kind love," said Mrs. Greenow, thereby resenting theimpotent interference. "And look here, Captain Bellfield, suppose youboth dine with me next Saturday. He always comes in on Saturday, andyou might as well come too."
Captain Bellfield declared that he would only be too happy.
"And Charlie shall come to set her cap at Mr. Cheesacre," said thewidow, turning a soft and gracious eye on the Captain.
"I shall be happy to come,"--said Charlie, quite delighted; "butnot with that object. Mr. Cheesacre is very respectable, I'm sure."Charlie's mother had been the daughter of a small squire who hadlet his land to tenants, and she was, therefore, justified bycircumstances in looking down upon a farmer.
The matter was so settled,--pending the consent of Mr. Cheesacre; andBellfield went out to Oileymead. He knew the ways of the house, andwas not surprised to find himself left alone
till after dusk; nor washe much surprised when he learned that he was not put into one of themahogany-furnitured chambers, but into a back room looking over thefarm-yard in which there was no fire-place. The Captain had alreadyendured some of the evils of poverty, and could have put up with thiseasily had nothing been said about it. As it was, Cheesacre broughtthe matter forward, and apologized, and made the thing difficult.
"You see, old fellow," he said, "there are the rooms, and of coursethey're empty. But it's such a bore hauling out all the things andputting up the curtains. You'll be very snug where you are."
"I shall do very well," said Bellfield rather sulkily.
"Of course you'll do very well. It's the warmest room in the house inone way." He did not say in what way. Perhaps the near neighbourhoodof the stables may have had a warming effect.
Bellfield did not like it; but what is a poor man to do under suchcircumstances? So he went up-stairs and washed his hands beforedinner in the room without a fire-place, flattering himself that hewould yet be even with his friend Cheesacre.
They dined together not in the best humour, and after dinner theysat down to enjoy themselves with pipes and brandy and water.Bellfield, having a taste for everything that was expensive, wouldhave preferred cigars; but his friend put none upon the table. Mr.Cheesacre, though he could spend his money liberally when occasionrequired such spending, knew well the value of domestic economy. Hewasn't going to put himself out, as he called it, for Bellfield! Whatwas good enough for himself was good enough for Bellfield. "A beggar,you know; just a regular beggar!" as he was betrayed into sayingto Mrs. Greenow on some occasion just at this period. "Poor fellow!He only wants money to make him almost perfect," Mrs. Greenow hadanswered;--and Mr. Cheesacre had felt that he had made a mistake.
Both the men became talkative, if not good-humoured, under theeffects of the brandy and water, and the Captain then communicatedMrs. Greenow's invitation to Mr. Cheesacre. He had had his doubts asto the propriety of doing so,--thinking that perhaps it might be tohis advantage to forget the message. But he reflected that he wasat any rate a match for Cheesacre when they were present together,and finally came to the conclusion that the message should bedelivered. "I had to go and just wish her goodbye you know," he saidapologetically, as he finished his little speech.
"I don't see that at all," said Cheesacre.
"Why, my dear fellow, how foolishly jealous you are. If I were to bedownright uncivil to her, as you would have me be, it would only callattention to the thing."
"I'm not a bit jealous. A man who sits upon his own ground as I dohasn't any occasion to be jealous."
"I don't know what your own ground has to do with it,--but we'll letthat pass."
"I think it has a great deal to do with it. If a man does intend tomarry he ought to have things comfortable about him; unless he wantsto live on his wife, which I look upon as about the meanest thing aman can do. By George, I'd sooner break stones than that."
This was hard for any captain to bear,--even for Captain Bellfield;but he did bear it,--looking forward to revenge.
"There's no pleasing you, I know," said he. "But there's the fact.I went to say goodbye to her, and she asked me to give you thatmessage. Shall we go or not?"
Cheesacre sat for some time silent, blowing out huge clouds ofsmoke while he meditated a little plan. "I'll tell you what it is,Bellfield," he said at last. "She's nothing to you, and if you won'tmind it, I'll go. Mrs. Jones shall get you anything you like fordinner,--and,--and--I'll stand you a bottle of the '34 port!"
But Captain Bellfield was not going to put up with this. He hadnot sold himself altogether to work Mr. Cheesacre's will. "No, oldfellow," said he; "that cock won't fight. She has asked me to dinewith her on Saturday, and I mean to go. I don't intend that she shallthink that I'm afraid of her,--or of you either."
"You don't;--don't you?"
"No, I don't," said the Captain stoutly.
"I wish you'd pay me some of that money you owe me," said Cheesacre.
"So I will,--when I've married the widow. Ha,--ha,--ha."
Cheesacre longed to turn him out of the house. Words to bid him go,were, so to say, upon his tongue. But the man would only have takenhimself to Norwich, and would have gone without any embargo upon hissuit; all their treaties would then be at an end. "She knows a trickworth two of that," said Cheesacre at last.
"I dare say she does; and if so, why shouldn't I go and dine with hernext Saturday?"
"I'll tell you why,--because you're in my way. The deuce is in it ifI haven't made the whole thing clear enough. I've told you all myplans because I thought you were my friend, and I've paid you well tohelp me, too; and yet it seems to me you'd do anything in your powerto throw me over,--only you can't."
"What an ass you are," said the Captain after a pause; "just youlisten to me. That scraggy young woman, Charlie Fairstairs, is to bethere of course."
"How do you know?"
"I tell you that I do know. She was present when the whole thingwas arranged, and I heard her asked, and heard her say that shewould come;--and for the matter of that I heard her declare that shewouldn't set her cap at you, because you're a farmer."
"Upon my word she's kind. Upon my word she is," said Cheesacre,getting very angry and very red. "Charlie Fairstairs, indeed! Iwouldn't pick her out of a gutter with a pair of tongs. She ain'tgood enough for my bailiff, let alone me."
"But somebody must take her in hand on Saturday, if you're to do anygood," said the crafty Bellfield.
"What the deuce does she have that nasty creature there for?" saidCheesacre, who thought it very hard that everything should not bearranged exactly as he would desire.
"She wants a companion, of course. You can get rid of Charlie, youknow, when you make her Mrs. Cheesacre."
"Get rid of her! You don't suppose she'll ever put her foot in thishouse. Not if I know it. I've detested that woman for the last tenyears." Cheesacre could forgive no word of slight respecting hissocial position, and the idea of Miss Fairstairs having pretended tolook down upon him, galled him to the quick.
"You'll have to dine with her at any rate," said Bellfield, "andI always think that four are better company than three on suchoccasions."
Mr. Cheesacre grunted an unwilling assent, and after this it waslooked upon as an arranged thing that they two should go into Norwichon the Saturday together, and that they should both dine with thewidow. Indeed, Mrs. Greenow got two notes, one from each of them,accepting the invitation. Cheesacre wrote in the singular number,altogether ignoring Captain Bellfield, as he might have ignored hisfootman had he intended to take one. The captain condescended to usethe plural pronoun. "We shall be so happy to come," said he. "Dearold Cheesy is out of his little wits with delight," he added, "andhas already begun to polish off the effects of the farmyard."
"Effects of the farmyard," said Mrs. Greenow aloud, in Jeannette'shearing, when she received the note. "It would be well for CaptainBellfield if he had a few such effects himself."
"You can give him enough, ma'am," said Jeannette, "to make him abetter man than Mr. Cheesacre any day. And for a gentleman--of courseI say nothing, but if I was a lady, I know which should be the manfor me."