Page 10 of Shame of Man


  She did not protest. She heaved herself up, and he saw that she had been sitting on a woven rim of reeds just above the water level. She moved on hands and knees away from the circle. “Follow Lee,” she repeated.

  So he put his hands on the rim and managed to heave himself up and onto it. That was just as well, because his arms, unfamiliar with this type of swimming, had been tiring. He was conscious of the women inspecting his body at close range, but none commented. He moved on hands and knees after the girl.

  She led him down a short tunnel through the sticks that opened out into a chamber where many children were. Each seemed to have his or her place, out of the water but with the ceiling so low that it was not possible to stand up, or even sit up in comfort. There were many thick stick columns supporting the roof, and the resting places were around these columns. Lee had a section that was large enough for two, if they lay close together.

  And that was what they did. They settled down for the night, and Hue was glad to sleep. He was worried that Lee would proffer him sex again, but now her legs were firmly closed; apparently this was not the occasion for that.

  In the morning the women and children stirred, stretching and going to the water hole. At first he heard them in the dark, then he saw them. This reminded him that no babies had shown up for many women, just older children who were no longer nursing. Yet all of the grown women had full breasts. The mystery was not being resolved.

  Lee had evidently awakened before him, but remained close. She saw him peering at the women. “Hue ask?”

  “Breasts,” he said. “Babies no?”

  She laughed. “Breasts women,” she said, cupping the halves of her chest with her hands so that its slight shaping was more evident. “Children no.”

  Hue shook his head. “Breasts, babies.” He knew he had never before seen a breasted woman who was not nursing. When a woman lost or weaned her baby, her breasts quickly shrank into nubs, and developed again only when she had another baby in her. When men raided other tribes and captured women, they had sex only with the appealing breastless ones.

  Lee shook her head in turn. “Breasts women.”

  So it seemed. “How babies?”

  “Breasts babies,” she said.

  Women with breasts could get new babies? Hue was amazed and disgusted. These men had to take sex from unsuitable women? It was a wonder the tribe didn't soon die out.

  Lee was quick to appreciate his revulsion, and to take advantage of it. “Lee breasts no,” she pointed out, this time pressing her hands flat on her chest to diminish the swellings there. “Legs yes.” She spread them invitingly. “Sex yes.”

  Hue realized that he would have to explain. “Lee sister. Sex no.”

  She looked perplexed. “Sister? Lee sister no.”

  Now he realized that she had not actually claimed to be his sister; he had simply assumed it, because it seemed right. He had a feeling, if not an actual memory, of a sister about her age, with whom he had always been close. And of course Lee came from a different tribe than he did, so she couldn't be his sister unless something quite unusual had happened. Why hadn't he realized that before? But if Lee was not that sister, who was she? “Lee who?” he asked.

  “Lee water folk tribe child. Hue brother no.”

  Then how had the two of them come to be together? Normally men hunted with other men, or mated with their women, or protected their children or siblings. So she had to be his daughter or his sister. He was sure she wasn't his daughter. And now he strongly doubted that she was his sister, because of the difference in tribes and dialect. So if her claim not to be his sister was true, what was the explanation for their association? “Hue Lee how?”

  She was ready for that question. “Lee woman need man. Lee—” Here she hesitated. “Lee hairy. Tribe men like no. Lee look hairy tribe men. Lee find Hue.”

  That made sense. Lee was the only one of the water folk who wasn't distressingly bare on torso and limbs. Her fur was light, but sufficient. And they actually rejected her because of that? So she had gone out to see if she could find a hairy man who would like her. She was evidently an enterprising girl. And she had had the wit to do so before she became adult, so that her growing breasts would not cause a hairy man to reject her. Hue was the one she had found. But that was not the whole answer. What had he been doing alone—or had she found him in a tribe? He would not have hunted with either a woman or a child, or gone out alone with a stranger.

  “Find Hue where?” he asked.

  “Find Hue walk alone,” she clarified. “Hue stranger. Hue know land no. Lee know land by water. Lee tell land.”

  So he had agreed to let her walk with him, if she showed him the way. Because it was dangerous to go alone through the territory of another tribe. He had to avoid any party of hunters, lest they kill him without parley. He had wanted guidance; she had wanted a man. Their purposes had never been aligned.

  Then they had tried to pass a mountain, using a dangerous path that others did not use, and had fallen. Now it was coming back. Lee knew the land near the water, but was less certain of the terrain high on the mountain slope where he had wanted to go. So there had been an accident. He had been helpless, because of his injury and his confusion, so Lee had led him home to her tribe. The tribe had had to admit him, because Lee meant to mate with him, and mating with a tribe member made a person a member. It made sense, from her perspective.

  But not from his own perspective. Now he knew that Lee was not his sister, so she was legitimate for marriage. But he still thought of her as a sister, and had no sexual inclination for her. And he needed to make this clear to her. “Hue Lee sex no,” he said firmly. That meant no mating, no marriage; he wasn't interested. In fact he wasn't interested in any of the water folk women, with their furless bodies and repellent breasts. This was not the place for him.

  That hurt her. “Lee sex good,” she protested, stroking her genital region. “Sex many. Sex any.”

  She was offering it as often as he wanted it, any way he might want it. She was ready to be completely obliging. But any woman was, with any man, willingly or unwillingly. But that couldn't make her attractive to him, or eliminate his perception of her as a person very like a sister. He still wasn't interested. “No.”

  Now she was angry. “Hue water folk Lee,” she said, reminding him how she had been the one to get him admitted to this tribe. “Hue Lee mate day day day. Mate no, Hue go.”

  That made it quite clear: the water folk had let him in only because of Lee, with the expectation that he would mate with her. That was standard in any tribe he knew of, because often it was was better for a person to mate with one from another tribe. Neighboring tribes might not like each other, and might fight often, but they had to be tolerant of mating between them. It was the way it was. But there was a time limit: three days. If it didn't happen in that time, it was reasonable to suppose that it wasn't going to happen. No tribe wanted to have a noncontributing member, or one who was not implicitly tied to the tribe, so this was a reasonable limit. So he had to commit in that time, or be banished as the foreigner he was.

  Since he didn't care to mate with Lee, there was no point in prolonging it. His head had stopped aching with the good night's sleep, and he was feeling stronger. He would resume his walk to wherever he was going. “Hue go.” He got to his hands and knees and moved toward the pool.

  Lee scrambled after him. “Go no! Land bad. Aliens bad. Kill Hue.”

  He ignored her. He was sorry that he could not do what she wished, for she seemed to be a nice enough girl, but he could not mate with anyone like a sister. He reached the pool, plunged in, and swam down to the exit hole. He was more confident now, knowing the route.

  In a moment he was out of the stick hut and stroking toward the surface. Lee came out immediately after, and reached the surface the same time he did. “Path,” she said. “Swim no.”

  Because there could be traps in the water away from the path, he realized. So he found the raised path an
d put his feet down. Lee came to walk in front of him, to show him the way, because the path was not straight. It wavered around like a moving snake, and now he saw that there were sharp shells and pointed sticks lining it, bad for any feet that strayed.

  On the beach the women had a fire going, and were cooking more fish. The smell wafted over the water, making him hungry. He had not realized how good fish was, having eaten little of it before this.

  “Food,” Lee said. “Hue eat.” She was trying to get him to delay his departure. She was desperate.

  But it wasn't right to take the tribe's food if he wasn't going to join it. “Hue go,” he repeated. “Food no.”

  She turned to face him, walking backwards, as they emerged from the water. Her face was wet, and more water was coming from her eyes. “Lee bad?”

  There were a number of water folk within hearing, but they seemed not to hear. They were declining to intrude on private business.

  Hue realized that she was upset. How could he answer her? He paused at the edge of the water. “Lee good. Lee Hue help. Lee girl sister. Hue mate sister no.”

  “Lee sister no!” she cried, refusing to understand.

  Finally he remembered the name of his true sister. “Hue sister Bee,” he said. “Bee Lee. Hue mate no.”

  She tried another ploy. “Lee Hue help. Mountain. Hue owe.”

  That gave him pause. She had indeed helped him on the mountain, after the accident. He might have died there, if she hadn't tended him. He did owe her.

  She saw that she had found a persuasive argument. “Owe. Mate.”

  This, too, was standard. Such a debt had to be repaid in kind. He had to save her life, or mate with her, or find her another man to mate with. Because she wanted a mate. It wasn't just a matter of joining the tribe, but of evening the score. But how could he repay her, when none of the ways seemed feasible?

  “Hue think,” he said, and walked inland, away from the lake and the food.

  “Day day day,” she said, following him. “Hue stay, think.”

  That was a fair request, in the circumstance. She wanted him to remain here as long as he was allowed, so that he might change his mind. But that meant he would be taking the tribe's food and shelter and protection, when he wasn't going to join it. That wasn't right either. “Hue think,” he repeated, walking on.

  Still she followed. “Show path,” she offered, eager to please him even in this.

  “Show path,” he agreed with resignation. It seemed that she wasn't going to let him out of her sight until the issue was decided.

  The forest thickened, then thinned. Lee grew nervous. “Path no,” she said, pointing. “Tribe bad.”

  The territory of one of the raiding tribes. Obviously that would not be good, because they had lost a man in yesterday's raid. If any of them recognized Lee, they would impale her on a spit and roast her alive.

  But as Hue turned, seeking another path, he noticed something. “Bee,” he said.

  “Lee no Bee,” Lee said sharply.

  He smiled. His true sister's name happened to match that of an insect, and Lee had thought he was confusing her identity again. “Bee buzz,” he clarified, pointing as another bee flew by. Some names emulated creatures; some did not. He wondered fleetingly what had happened to his sister of that name. She must be with the tribe he had left. The tribe to which perhaps he should return.

  “Bee,” she agreed, shrugging.

  “Bee bee bee,” he said. “Hive near.” He couldn't explain how he knew, but he had always been curious about things, and had learned how to fathom where bees nested. It wasn't just the direction they flew, or even the direction they flew when loaded. It was how many there were, and how the directions changed slightly. He and his sister had enjoyed the challenge of finding bees, and leading the tribesmen to the honey. He had seen several bees here, and the way they were flying made him sure they lived close by. “Tribe honey?”

  “Torch,” she agreed. Fire and smoke drove off the bees so that their honey could be taken. It was a chancy operation, but worth it for the wonderful stuff.

  They pursued the bees. But then Lee's sharp senses caught something else. “Man, woman,” she whispered urgently. “Near.” She looked all around, trying to orient on what she had heard.

  He heard it too. And they were near hostile territory. Those could be folk of the raider tribe. Yet the bee nest was so close. Did they have to give it up?

  But perhaps they could return to it another day, when there were no enemy near. It was better to turn back now.

  Lee's head turned. “Behind!” she hissed, realizing.

  Indeed, it was too late. There stood a man and a woman, barring their path back. They must have spied Hue's footprints and followed, silently. The man was about Hue's size, hairy and grim; the woman was full grown, furred and sleek.

  And—he knew them. Suddenly it came back. “Bub!” he said grimly, putting his hand on his axe. “Sis.”

  Lee stared at him. “Hue know?”

  “Hue know,” the other man agreed.

  “Bub take Hue mate,” Hue said. Bub had joined their tribe in a rare cooperative hunt that Hue had not been able to participate in, and when he departed with his share of the meat, Hue's mate had gone with him. That had been one element of a more complicated situation that had left Hue outraged and disgusted, and he had left the tribe. He would have liked to kill Bub, but it wasn't allowed; the man had been there under truce, and the woman had gone with him by her own choice. Fae—he had thought she hated Bub, but she had deceived him in that. His rage remained. Now they were on relatively neutral ground. There was no truce. Hue lifted out his axe.

  Bub lifted his hands, empty. “Wait,” he said. “Bub tribe males few. Bub take woman. Bub give woman. Sis.”

  And Sis stepped forward, smiling. Her woman scent surrounded her. Bub had no respect for her as a person, yet her sex appeal was strong. It would be easy to mate with her.

  But it came at a price. He would have to join Bub's tribe, and be subordinate to Bub. And see Bub with his former mate. Maybe it was a fair trade, for Sis was certainly a compelling woman. But there were complications Hue didn't like, among them the fact that he neither liked nor trusted Bub or Sis.

  Lee stepped forward to intercept Sis. She would not stand by and see her chance for mating be lost. But she was not yet grown, while Sis was not only grown but armed. That was one of the things about her: Sis could fight somewhat in the fashion of a man. She would destroy Lee.

  Hue didn't want that. Lee was a good girl, and forthright about her wishes. She did not deserve this. “No,” he said, pulling her back. Then “No,” to Bub.

  Bub considered. He could renew his offer, or he could fight with Hue, or he could retreat. He shrugged and retreated. He backed away, and Sis paced him, sending Hue a final sultry look before she disappeared into the forest.

  Hue remained still, concealing his reaction. But Sis had achieved her aim; she had made him desire her, however guiltily. Somehow he knew that it would have been a remarkable experience with her; it was almost as if he had mated with her some time, so knew how it was. But his memory was not enough; it gave him no such encounter. It was probably just a fancy.

  “Hue Lee protect,” Lee said, pleased.

  “No,” he said gruffly. “Sis like no.” Yet that wasn't really true. Sis had tempted him strongly; it was the situation he didn't like.

  Then he realized that he had just denied doing Lee a favor that might have abated his debt to her: saving her life. Because Sis could have killed her, and he had stopped it. He had missed a useful chance.

  But Lee did not let it go. “Lee owe,” she concluded.

  Maybe. But probably not enough for her to let him go. “Bee,” he reminded her.

  They moved on, and he oriented on the faint music of the massed bee buzzing, and soon located the nest. It was not a huge one, but it surely had a nice supply of honey. Lee nodded approvingly. “Tribe owe,” she said.

  Because he had fo
und something good for it, he realized. So perhaps he was earning his keep, these three days. That made him feel easier.

  They started back toward the lake. But Lee had more on her mind. “Day day day more,” she told him. “Challenge.”

  The three days grace wasn't the limit? Provided he did something special to earn the extension? This was new to him. “What?”

  “Lee owe. Lee show. Challenge.”

  As she described it, Hue realized that it was a ritual endeavor that could give a foreigner another three days with the tribe, before he had to mate with a water folk female. He had done Lee a favor, so she was doing him one. She would teach him how to do the ritual, so that he might have more time with the tribe before deciding about the mating. Of course he still wasn't interested in mating with her, but at least this meant that he would have more time to find some other way through. It wasn't as great a favor as she perhaps thought, since it only postponed the time of decision, but it was still a nice gesture on her part.

  They returned to the beach, where Lee avidly reported on what had happened. The tribesmen were interested; a bee nest was always worthwhile. A man named Itt, who seemed to be the competent one in this respect, organized a small party. He led several men with torches to see about the honey, with Lee showing the way.

  Hue now felt free to eat. There was still some roasted fish left. Most of the women had eaten and gone; they were foraging along the shore. As he approached the dying fire, there was just one other who it seemed had not eaten. This was a very thin woman with almost no sign of fur on her body, except at her head and crotch, so that her bulging breasts stood out. She carried no baby.

  There was just one fish left in the hot ashes. The woman glanced at it, then at him, and stepped back. She was yielding the fish to him.

  Hue shook his head. “Hue foreign,” he explained, not touching the fish. In any tribe, the natives had precedence over the foreigners. Even the women. He was hungry, but he knew better than to violate the protocol.