Bearer unimpressed at worst, indifferent at best, R.P.
Stonagal slowly and precisely tore the fax into neat and handed them to Fredericka. "Ask Planchette crucial the mother is," he whispered.
192
The relationship between Marilena and Viv Ivins had finally begun to chill. After years of partnership in raising Nicky, the women's rapport had begun to fray.
It began when Marilena discovered that the brand-new SUV provided by the spiritualism association--through the largess of Jonathan Stonagal, of coursenhad been registered in Viv's name. "Why must it belong to either of us?" Marilena said.
"It means nothing," Viv said. "It's just a convenience, a technicality. If it needs work or anything, it's good to have it in one of our names."
"Then why not mine?"
"Who cares? What's the difference?"
"It should have been at least in both our names," Marilena said.
"You're the one so disinclined to our being mistaken for lesbians," Viv said.
"Why couldn't the vehicle have been registered to Mr. Planchette or the association or to one of Stonagal's companies?"
"Honestly, Marilena, what is your problem? This seems petty, even for you."
Even for you? What did that mean? Viv thought Marilena was petty as a rule?
"I just feel like an outsider, that's all. I am part of the association too. I come to the meetings. I'm raising Nicky the way I said I would. Why am I treated like a fifth wheel?"
Viv just shook her head. Worse, she had not responded
Tim LaHaye & Jerry B. Jenkins
well to the idea of only spelling Marilena as Nicky's daily
"Why don't we trade off?" she said. "I could take every other day. Or one of us could take him and the other could pick him up."
"Forgive me if I want a couple of uninterrupted hours with my own son!" Marilena said. "You have enough
influence on him, and I appreciate that; I really do. But I can teach him what you want taught, and frankly, he and I need to bond more. I think the boy is confused about who's who around here."
Viv muttered under her breath. "What?" "Don't ask."
I'm asking. What are you complaining about?"
' "I'm just saying," Viv said, "that I always have the of Reiche arbitrating this."
. Marilena closed her eyes. "You don't even want to
:with me on that. What am I, an employee of Nicolae
"ses? I am his mother!"
[ "So you keep insisting."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
you birthed him, Marilena. You were a receptacle,
(carrier. You didn't add much to the mix then, and you have not found traction as his mother since."
. The truth of that hit Marilena in the solar plexus.
whose fault is that? You're the outsider, Viv.
I couldn't have done it without you, but shouldn't work at maintaining boundaries? You're not his mother
"Spiritually I am."
195
"Well, I intend to change that, and I'll start by being his driver."
For the next few years, Marilena and Niky would rise early every day and were on the road before sunup. When she returned, Marilena did her research work, transmitting her results to various clients. She spent the remainder of the day studying what she wanted to convey to Nicky and, to her consternation, found she often had to consult the expert: Viv.
Maddeningly, Viv affected an .air of helpfulness. Perhaps Marilena would have been even more infuriated if the older woman had proved uncooperative. But Viv was thorough, teaching Marilena not only what needed to be passed on to Nicky but also advising her on how to say it, what to emphasize, what to understand about a young boy and how he learned.
"He learns like an adult," Marilena said.
"But he's still a child, and you must not forget that. Allow him to grow at his own pace; be sensitive to his limited emotional and spiritual capacity."
Marilena stiffened. She didn't need to be lectured about her own child. "He has shown unlimited spiritual capacity. He astounds me every day."
"Children can be amazing receptors," Viv said. "Just be careful."
Marilena wanted to slap her. Was there no way out of this? Could she not dismiss Viv from her own house? But it wasn't Marilena's house. It too was being procided.
True, Nicky was full of questions, and the spirit world
194
Tim LaHaye (z Jerry B. Jenkins
captivated him like nothing else, though he had limitless .,rests. Even in the hoity-toity private school, he proved head and shoulders above other students his age and even older. He had been the only first-year student who could read and was now certainly the only one allready fluent in three languages. His teachers, reminded
tag Marilena of Viv, cautioned her not to push him, tell- her that "children develop at their own pace. The others will catch him soon enough."
Not a chance. This boy was a born leader, and no one
Would ever equal him.
day of his first solo flight at age sixteen, Ray Steele
himself he could do this. He knew he could. He'd been dreaming of it for years and training for it for hours. And he had done it countless times with an instructor
next to him. What would be different this Solo. No instructor. No safety net. The last dozen he had flown, his instructor had done nothing, said nothing. He had merely been there, ready to help
if anything went wrong.
' Still, there was no denying his butterflies. But was that all these were? Could butterflies make you vomit? R, ay was sick to his stomach and couldn't quit fidgeting. ind the grin. If he felt so bad, why couldn't he wipe off grin?
"Any questions before I step out?" his instructor said,
196
"Nope. Don't think so. Ready. Eager. Want to get going."
"Don't let your excitement cloud your judgment."
"I won't."
"And I don't just mean in the air."
"Sir?"
"First thing you'll forget is something on the ground. Use your checklist. You're trusting your life to this craft."
Ray checked and double-checked. Fuel was topped off, electrical systems go. Everything seemed fine.
"What if I told you, Ray, that I misadjusted something on purpose, just to see if you'd find it?"
"Did you?"
"I asked you first."
"Uh, I'd be confident I covered everything?" "You asking me or telling me?" "I'll check again if you want."
"If I want? Think, Ray. Of course I wouldn't let you take 'er up if I knew you had missed something. But this has to matter more to you than it does to me. I mean, I'd hate to have to break bad news to your parents, but what about you? You have a death wish? You want this to be your last flight?"
"Not a chance. I want it to be the first of many." "Well, then, you strapping in or checking again?" Ray studied the checklist and sped through it again in his mind. He was sure he'd verified everything. And he was also sure his instructor would not let him take up a bird that had something wrong with it. Flashing thumbs-up, he settled in behind the controls. The
pointed to the runway, and Ray taxied to he would wait for clearance to take off for a flight.
Fear, nervousness did not do justice to what he felt.
He had to admit he was ill at ease, eager to be on the ground again, to have the maiden voyage behind him. he had no doubt about his proficiency and knowledge
Unless something went terribly wrong with the weather or the craft--and of course he had double-
checkked both--he would land safely. Ray's goal was to it smoothly, to impress his instructor, to be cleared to fly solo from this point on.
As the small prop plane hurtled down the runway, Ray
Saw something in his path. A small animal? Something
lie? A bolt? Should he swerve? abort? Too late. His
tire hit it hard, just as the drag over his wings lifted gently from the earth. He foug
ht the craft to keep it and wondered if his instructor had seen what had happened.
His radio crackled to life. "That was a little shaky,"
instructor said.
"I think I ran over a bird." "Everything okay?" "Perfect." "Carry on."
It had been just a little fib. That had certainly not been bird. It had rattled loudly against the fuselage and gone off the runway. But Ray didn't want to admit anything that would force him to cut short his first
solo. There seemed no damage to the plane, and everything was going fine now.
Half an hour later, as he circled the airstrip and maneuvered for landing, Ray regretted not telling his parents how big a day this was. No, this was best. He would tell them at dinner, and their response either way could not dampen the thrill of this accomplishment.
Ray was just ten feet from the pavement when he noticed his fuel gauge read empty. He still had thrust, so there must have been something in there. He wanted the wheels to touch simultaneously, but the left hit and chirped first. When the plane settled onto the other wheel, the craft grabbed the runway and began spinning crazily. The right tire was flat and acted as a brake.
Ray fought to hang on, praying the plane wouldn't flip. In a flash he was grateful there was not enough fuel to even register on the gauge. If the prop hit the runway and the plane pitched, the sparks could ignite the fuel.
By the time the plane finally skidded noisily to a stop, Ray could see his instructor sprinting down the tarmac, followed by a couple of guys from the tower and a vehicle with lights flashing.
His instructor was pale as he helped Ray from the plane, asking over and over if he was all right.
"I'm fine," Ray kept saying.
"He landed on a flat tire and with a severed fuel line," a man inspecting under the plane said. "You're one lucky kid. If you were a cat you'd have only eight more lives."
Ray fought to control his breathing and pulse. Why
198
hadn't he reported the takeoff incident? How long had he gone on virtually no fuel? Was soloing worth his life?
When he and his instructor finally sat across from each other in the tiny terminal lunchroom, the man ran his through his hair. "Hoo, boy!" he said. "You feel lucky as you are?"
Ray had to be honest. He shook his head. He didn't
Know what to .say. as he advanced through the elementary grades, most impressed by the secret nature of Lucifer;m. "Others must not know," Marilena told him, the majority of spiritually minded people in world have bought into the idea that Lucifer is the enemy of God. We know better. He merely the mistake of wanting to excel, to be wise, and know the truth."
"What is wrong with that?" Nicky said.
"Exactly. Who put God in charge? Why should one of his chief angels have to do His will and obey His orders?
..r's ambition was called pride and sin. But he is, as are, divine. Why would we adore and blindly obey a other than ourselves?"
"And why is this a secret?" Nicky said.
"Religious people have the mistaken idea that God is good and Lucifer is bad. But we know better. If any- the opposite is true. If God is in charge, why does let such horrible things happen? And why is He
1 99
threatened by a spiritual being who merely wants to be more? God is jealous, selfish, self-serving. But say that in public, and you will be vilified. Know what that means ?"
"Of course, Mom. 'Ridiculed. Put down.'" How she loved it when he called her Morn. "Lucifer's so-called sin was self-awareness," she said. "Why should that be such a threat if God is almighty? If He is really the creator of all things, would He worry that His creatures love or obey Him? Of course not, unless the whole point of creating them was to make for Himself a legion of slaves. Who is He to say what is right or wrong? We are all individuals, captains of our own destinies. We are unique, and life tells us all we need to know."
Marilena stole a glance at her son. His eyes were bright. "So this is our secret," he said.
"Right."
"And there are others who know, but we are keeping it to ourselves."
"Yes."
"How do we get more people?" he said.
"We have to be careful. If someone is dead set against this, there's little hope of their moving to the side of truth. It's the people who are undecided or who have come to no conclusions who are the best candidates." Marilena told Nicky how she herself had worshiped at the altar of knowledge and scholarship. "Even there, the spiritual life, both sides of it, was suspect."
"But you learned different," he said.
Tim LaHaye & Jerry B. Jenkins
"I did. Especially when I longed for a child and you the promised gift."
How Nicky loved that story. He asked to hear it again again, and Marilena may have/been kidding herself, she believed the truth of it gave him a new view of She had wanted him, hoped for him, prayed for him, to raise him in devotion to the one who promised. He never articulated his love and devotion to but she was convinced they were there.
It struck her that her relationship with Lucifer was same. She was treating him the way her son treated
She was his child, his daughter, one he had courted giving her the greatest desire of her heart. While she shake her fist in his face, she withheld herself, him emotionally hostage. Marilena suddenly childish, unworthy, drunk with the power to manipilate the feelings of one so powerful. Maybe now that
saw the error of her ways, Nicky would see his. "So we know the truth," Nicky said, "right, Mom?
most other people do not?"
"Not only do they not, they believe a lie."
"But we are right."
"Yes." She truly believed it. And she could see he did
At least it was clear he wanted to. This appeared to to him, the clandestine nature of it, being set from the crowd.
Some kids go to church to worship God," he said.
What do we do?"
"We go to our own kind of church to worship Lucifer. are just classes, but he and his spirits speak to us."
200 201
2O3
THE RISING
Tim LaHaye & Jetty B. Jenkins
"Like he did to you about me."
"Exactly."
"Wow."
After schooling Nicky as much as she could during their daily rides, Marilena found he had questions. "So what did God think was so wrong about Lucifer wanting to be like Him?"
"That's the whole point, Nicky. Only a weak-minded and threatened God would find that a problem. Know what I mean?"
"Sure, yes. Maybe He did not want to lose His followers. Most of them were probably afraid of Him, but Lucifer was more curious."
Marilena never ceased to be amazed at how adult
Nicky's mind was. "Yes," she said. "His beauty refers 'to his mind and his aura."
"But you said God offered him forgiveness." "That's taught in our tradition. God wanted Lucifer back, along with the angels who agreed with him. So
He offered to forgive them. But only a few accepted." "And not Lucifer."
"Of course not. He was noble, an idealist, and he would never stray from his beliefs, no matter what." "That makes him a hero, right?" "It sure does."
"Why do so many people think he is bad then?" "That's the question of the ages, Son. He's beautiful, he's a shining light, he's called the morning star. And yet so many choose to believe he's the devil! It makes no sense. And there are more of them all the time. People ..n't looking for enlightenment. They are wallowing ignorance."
"But not us."
"Not us."
"We know the truth, the real truth."
"We do, Nicky. And there's power in the truth. he can set you truth free.
Free from what?
"From prejudice, ignorance, from blindly folowing ijealous God just because everyone else does.
"I would not."
"But I will not tell anybody, Mom. They would not understand."
As a junior Ray Steele had had another off year, shoo
ting up two more inches and actually playing worse football, basketball, and baseball than he had the year before. All
hype and promise of his being a three-sport starter and standout on the varsity teams proved wrong as he had
seasons in all sports. He started as the varsity quartar back but after winning the first two games against teams, he lost the last eight, throwing more interceptions than touchdowns. The only reason he didn't lose the b was because no one else had his size or potential. His coach, Fuzzy Bellman, also the high school athletics director encouraged him. "You've got all the tools, Ray. We'll we a good season next year."
2O2
2O5
T H E R I S I N G Tim LaHaye Jerry B. Jenkins
"Yeah, but you don't get a scholarship based on just a good senior season."
"You could. You never know."
In basketball Ray was expected to be a starter, but he wound up riding the bench most of the season as backup to a good power forward a year younger. Ray played a lot of scrub, cleanup minutes and found himself actually hoping his sophomore teammate would get hurt.
What's the matter with me? he wondered late at night. He didn't remember being jealous and petty when he was younger. But he hadn't had cause either. The worse the basketball season grewlhis team finished evenlthe harder Ray worked at his studies. It was gratifying to be onhis way to a high grade point average, especially in math and science, but he had to admit he would rather be revered as a great athlete than a great student. He had a better chance at a scholarship as a student than as a jock, but that wasn't as much fun.
At least his flying lessons were going well. He was able to get to the airstrip only infrequently, due to all his other activities, but Ray's instructor assured him he would be able to get his private license by the time he was eighteen and a senior.
Baseball during the spring of Ray's junior year proved disappointing as well. He was to be the ace pitcher and play first base. He could throw ninety miles an hour-- which would guarantee attracting big-league scouts-- until he hurt his arm. Then he merely played first, batted eighth, and didn't hit .300. So much for an athletic scholarship.