Elise's fifteen-year-old brother, Dan, was actually supposed to be in charge of the event. He was counting it as his Eagle Scout project, but somehow the women of the neighborhood had taken over most of the organization, and my mother had recruited me to help out in the Jell-O toss booth. Kids were supposed to toss a little cube of Jell-O at a stack of dishes, and if it landed on one of the dishes, they got a prize. Kids love the idea of throwing food, but I was less than thrilled about helping. Somehow it was too easy to envision a bunch of kids with bad aim—or worse yet, kids with good aim—hitting me with the Jell-O cubes.
The fair had only one saving grace—they were holding it at the park located right next to Josh's house. If Destiny did her job, Josh would come out to the fun fair, run into me, and we'd spend a good portion of the afternoon talking and looking into each other's eyes. And then one thing would lead to another, and I'd casually ask him to take me to the prom.
Even to me it sounded like wishful thinking, and I hated having to depend on wishes to get things done. It would all be so much easier if Josh asked me out first, or at least seemed interested.
At the appointed time, Mom, Andy, Joe, David, and I all headed over to the park. My dad didn't come because he said he had to take his car in for an oil change and a tire rotation— like we couldn't see through that excuse. He just didn't want to get stuck in some booth where kids threw food at him.
My brothers were in charge of selling helium balloons, although from the way they were giggling in the backseat of the van, I knew they planned on sucking down half of the helium tank and singing Chipmunk songs the entire afternoon.
When we pulled up to the park, I noticed Cassidy and her mom unpacking paints and brushes for the face-painting table. Elise stood by the swings, pushing her three-year-old sister, Abby, and Katya back and forth in the air.
Cassidy and Elise. Even better. Dan was hovering over the baked-goods table, and Elise's parents were counting out tickets at the ticket booth. Josh, of course, was no where around. Destiny must have been on her lunch break.
I helped my mom tape numbers on the ground for the cakewalk, then went to a nearby picnic table to cut up the Jell-O for my booth. While I did this, Logan and his little brother drove up to the park in his ancient Toyota pickup. I recognized the oversized tires and two-toned, white and almost white, paint from where I stood.
Logan was constantly resurrecting his truck from the trash heap, and there probably wasn't an original piece of it left except the rearview mirror. But instead of being mortified to own such a piece of junk, Logan was constantly bragging about the improvements he'd made to it. While stacking books I'd heard more about engine capabilities than a person should have to endure in a lifetime.
I took out the first tray of Jell-O and sliced it into squares. Why was Logan here anyway? He didn't live in our neighborhood.
Maybe he was checking up on me. Any second now he'd come over and ask whether I'd made it through the day with my criticism in check. Then he'd ask me some insufferable question, like why, if they were so smart, women chose to pluck out their eyebrows or wear thong bikini underwear.
I kept one eye on him, but instead of coming in my direction, Logan and his brother walked over to where Dan stood.
Which must have meant Dan was friends with Logan's little brother and had asked them to help out. At least, I hoped Dan asked them to help out. I hoped Logan would be too busy to park himself in front of my booth and pelt me with Jell-O for the duration of the fair.
After Logan spoke with Dan for a few minutes, he left his brother and Dan and went over to where Cassidy stood.
Hmmm.
Maybe he was plotting something. Maybe he thought I'd be irritated if I saw him cozying up to Cassidy, and I'd be more likely to insult someone.
Or maybe he just liked her.
Oh, it was so irritating.
I sliced through the last of the Jell-O and piled the colored cubes onto plates. Every few seconds I looked over to where Logan and Cassidy stood. They were talking, standing close to one another, and laughing.
I wanted to claw her eyes out.
It was totally illogical to feel that way, but still I fumed. Did I, or did I not, specifically tell Logan I didn't want him to date Cassidy? Well, okay, perhaps I actually said he should date Cassidy—that I thought they made a charming couple— but he knew I was being sarcastic when I said that. If he wanted to date someone, then he should go out with someone like . . . I tried for a moment to come up with an appropriate romantic choice for Logan, but couldn't think of anyone. I didn't dwell on it. After all, I wasn't interested in Logan. I'd come here to see Josh, or as it was turning out, to see the outside of Josh's house. Logan could date whomever he wanted. I wished them all the happiness in the world.
I threw the last of the Jell-O onto the plates as violently as I could, which of course did nothing but make the rest of the Jell-O stacks jiggle around a bit. It's hard to be violent with Jell-O.
I took the plates over to my mother and asked her what else needed to be done. She and Cassidy's mom had been talking, and now she surveyed the park. "It looks like we're about ready. I guess you can do whatever you'd like until the fair starts."
I glanced at my watch. We still had fifteen minutes left until the fair started. My choices were to wander around aimlessly, hang out with my little brothers, or barge in on Logan and Cassidy s conversation. Then I noticed my hands. Red streaks covered them from where I'd caught falling Jell-O. I really ought to wash them off, and what better place to do that than at Josh's house? If I trekked the three streets back to my house, I might be late getting back to the park, and I wouldn't want to disappoint all those kids who were eager to pelt Jell-O around. I was only thinking of them.
I walked over to the swings where Elise stood pushing the little kids and held up my hands. "Is it okay if I go in your house to wash my hands?"
"Oh, sure," she said. "Just walk right in." Then she smiled at me. A big friendly smile. One that should have set off warning bells.
I walked across the street to her house but paused on the doorstep. It felt odd to just walk into someone's house. I nearly rang the doorbell, but then thought that perhaps the reason Elise told me to go right in was because no one else was home. If I rang the bell, I'd look like an idiot standing on the porch waiting for someone to let me in. I looked back over my shoulder at Elise. She smiled again and made waving motions for me to go inside.
As daintily as I could so as not to get Jell-O on the doorknob, I opened the door and stepped inside. I had just shut the door behind me when a deep "Woof!" reverberated through the room and a mutatedly giant German shepherd strode toward me.
"Ah wahha!" I said, not because it made any sense, but because my vocal chords suddenly worked independently of my brain.
The dog barked two more times and then walked up to me, sniffing. Apparently he didn't get many visitors who smelled like raspberry Jell-O, and this was a treat for him.
Without taking my eyes from the dog, I took small steps back toward the door and called out, "Is anybody here?"
I had barely spoken the words when Josh walked into the room. He snapped his fingers at the dog. "Goliath!"
The dog turned around; wagged its tail with great, furry sweeps; and trotted back to Josh. Josh looked down, but not very far down, at the dog. "Go into the kitchen," he said firmly.
Goliath immediately sat on the floor and gazed up at Josh as if waiting for the next command.
"All right then, sit!" Josh said. He turned and grinned at me. "Sorry if he scared you."
"I just came in to wash my hands." I held my hands up to show him the proof. "Elise told me to go right in."
Josh nodded, as though it was a natural occurrence for girls to appear in his living room. "Sometimes Elise forgets that people might not like our canine greeting committee."
I bet.
He showed me into the kitchen, and I tried to think of something intelligent to say while I washed my hands.
br /> "You look older," I said, and wasn't sure why I'd chosen this. "I guess that's what happens."
"Yeah. You look older too."
The conversation was off to a roaring start. I turned off the water and smiled at him. Maybe I ought to take the direct approach. Maybe I ought to just say, "I have a problem, and I was wondering if you could help me out . . ."
"Are you going to the park, I mean the fair, you know, the thing outside?"
"Yeah, Dan put me in charge of the pie-eating contest." He nodded over to the counter, where several dozen pies were stacked up in rows. They were the store-bought kind that didn't look appetizing enough to eat at all, let alone scarf down in large quantities during a contest.
I let my hands drip into the sink while I looked around for a towel to wipe them on. I finally located one hanging from the refrigerator door and walked to it. Goliath saw me by the refrigerator and trotted over. With ears pricked, he watched me intently, as though I might be about to open the refrigerator and produce a ham for him.
Josh came over to pull the dog away from me again. He gave Goliath a push, then stepped between the dog and me. Josh was so close I could have thrown my arms around him if I'd wanted to. I wanted to, but I refrained. Instead, I said, "Do you need help carrying the pies out?"
"No, the pie-eating contest isn't going to happen for another hour or so." He didn't move away from the refrigerator— or from me. "That's nice of you to offer, though."
My hands were quite dry now, but I didn't move. "So what have you been doing since you got back to Pullman?"
"Mostly laundry."
"Oh. Fun."
And that pretty well exhausted my entire repertoire of small talk. I should have gone back outside instead of standing there staring at him. He was probably waiting for me to excuse myself, and yet I didn't go. "It sounds like you're ready for a break. Why don't you come outside now? I'll give you a discount on the Jell-O toss event."
He smiled, then looked down at his watch. "All right. I guess if I don't go out soon, Dan will accuse me of not supporting him."
The two of us walked to the front door. Goliath tried to follow us, but Josh shut the door on him before he could escape.
I heard Goliath bark sadly from behind the door, and when I glanced back at the house, he was standing at the entryway window, forlorn, with his nose pressed against the glass. It made me smile.
"He's kinda cute in a gargantuan type of way."
"He still hasn't forgiven me for going off to college. He doesn't want to let me out of his sight now."
Something Goliath and I had in common.
We walked down Josh's lawn, and as we did, Katya came running across the street toward us, with Cassidy close behind.
Just my luck. I'd had a total of four minutes alone with Josh, and now Cassidy arrived in the picture. Apparently Destiny was still out to lunch somewhere, downing curly fries and root beer instead of helping me with my love life.
Cassidy caught up with her sister just as she made it to the Bensons' lawn. She scooped up the little girl and very firmly said, "Nyet, Katya, a car could have hit you."
Elise and Logan crossed the street next, both out of breath, and joined Cassidy on the Bensons' lawn.
"That kid is fast," Elise said.
Katya wiggled in Cassidy's arms, then decided Cassidy's necklace merited interest and wound her fingers around it.
Josh walked over to the group, and I followed silently. He gazed at Katya in Cassidy's arms, and then at Cassidy.
"This is your new little sister? She's beautiful."
"Thanks." Cassidy said the word stiffly, looking at Katya and not at Josh.
Katya wriggled around some more, and Cassidy put her down. For a moment she looked as though she was going to sprint someplace else; then she noticed Goliath staring out the window. She cocked her head and studied him. "Bear!"
Cassidy glanced at the door. "No, Katya, that's Goliath. He's a dog."
"Bear," Katya said again, and walked toward him.
Elise chuckled and crossed her arms. "See, her English isn't so bad."
Josh watched Katya with the smile still on his face. "Does she know any sentences yet?"
Cassidy didn't answer for a moment, because she went to retrieve her sister before Katya could open the door and let Goliath out. Cassidy came back holding Katya in her arms. "She can say, 'I love you, Mama,' but that's because they taught her how to say it in the orphanage. I've been trying to teach her to say, 'I love you, Cassidy,' ever since we got her, but she just won't."
"Here, let me try." Elise held out her hands and took the little girl from Cassidy. She brushed Katya s hair away from her face and said, "Repeat, Katya, 'I love you, Cassidy'"
Katya stared at her with wide, unblinking eyes and didn't say anything.
" 'I love you, Cassidy,' " Elise said again.
Katya put one hand on Elise's lips as though she wondered if it was possible to peel them off Elise's face.
Elise grinned, then handed Katya to her brother. "Here, Josh, you give it a try."
Josh glanced from Katya to Cassidy, then back to Katya. He cleared his throat and shifted his feet. "Say, 'I love you, Cassidy.'"
"Try it with feeling now," Elise said.
With a little more emotion he said, "I love you, Cassidy." Elise smirked happily at him.
"Let me try." Logan held out his hands to Katya, and she came to him with a giggle. She clearly thought this was some funny American game people played at get-togethers.
In a voice that sounded like a dramatic actor's, Logan said, "Repeat, 'I love you, Cassidy. I really, really love you. You are the dearest thing in my heart.' "
Katya laughed, but I wanted to slap Logan. To think that just days ago, he'd accused me of being an incurable flirt, and here he was performing a one-man love fest in Cassidy's honor.
I shouldn't have cared. After all, Logan was the most irritating guy alive. I should have hoped he hooked up with Cassidy. They deserved each other. But as Logan went on and on about his undying passion for her a knot of anger grew in my stomach. Finally Logan exhausted his expressions of love, and he looked over at me.
"She's not buying it from me," he said, and handed the little girl to me. "Why don't you give it a try?"
He probably thought I couldn't say anything to Cassidy at this point without throwing in a few insults. He was almost right. I gritted my teeth into a smile. " 'I . . . love . . . you . . . Cassidy'"
Katya twisted around in my arms to look back at the Bensons' window. "Bear!"
Everyone laughed, and Cassidy reached over and took Katya from my arms. "I guess that's enough English lessons for now." Katya wound her arms around her sister's neck, and Cassidy held her close. Then Cassidy bent down and gave the little girl a kiss on the top of her head.
Josh and Logan both watched this display of sisterly affection with rapt attention. Logan even said, "Ohhh."
So. Apparently, all that time I'd spent studying fashion magazines to learn what attracted men had been a waste of time. What really got to guys was a girl who kissed her little sister. I had a sudden urge to say, "If any of my brothers had been a girl, I would kiss them."
Josh's gaze remained on Katya. He reached out and ran one finger across her cheek. "She really is beautiful."
Cassidy smiled, the stiffness falling away from her. "I think so."
Cassidy gave her sister another smile, then scanned the park. "Amy said she'd try to come today. If she's elected president, she wants to do something school wide to raise funds for Katya's orphanage. Isn't that neat?"
"Cool idea," Logan said, and then he—and everyone else—looked at me.
"I think that's a really good idea too," I said.
Logan tilted his head at me. "So what exactly are your political plans, Samantha? I mean, what are you going to do if you win?"
Leave it to Logan to put me in a tight spot. Suddenly I was supposed to come up with an idea better than helping orphans.
"I'd like
to do service projects too," I said. "I haven't picked any specific ones yet; but, you know, giving money to the needy sounds like a good idea."
They continued to look at me, blatantly unenthusiastic about this suggestion, but really, what platform was I supposed to produce that would make everyone happy? Between keggers and orphans I just couldn't win.
The subject changed, and everyone went on talking except for me. No one seemed to notice I hadn't joined in, though, and I wasn't sure why I didn't. They suddenly seemed like such a tight-knit group. Only I was on the outside. I suppose I had always known this, but never cared before. Now it hurt.
For one moment I wondered what life would have been like if I'd been friends with Cassidy, Elise, and Logan. What if we were always together this way—what if I was always included in their circles?
Then I stopped thinking about it. It wasn't ever going to happen. Not now. Not ever. Not after those flyers.
From across the park Dan called, "Hey, you guys!" and waved for us to come over. Enough people had arrived, and he wanted to start the fair.
Chapter 10
The booth went about like I thought it would. Most of the kids tossed—with varying degrees of success— their Jell-O onto the dishes. The littlest kids ate their Jell-O and then cried if I didn't give them a prize, and Joe's and David's friends all made a point of throwing their Jell-O at me and then pretending it was just bad aim. I took their quarters anyway and hoped the kids in Katya's orphanage appreciated my sacrifice for them.
Unfortunately, I didn't have another chance to talk to Josh. It was hours until one of Dan's friends relieved me from my Jell-O toss duties, and by then Josh had finished the pie-eating contest and was busy taking his littlest sister, Abby, around to the booths.
I got an overpriced piece of pizza from the refreshment stand and ate it on a grassy slope by the edge of the park. Logan walked over and sat down beside me just as I finished. "Hey," he said, stretching his legs out. "I thought I'd come and talk to you for a while."