Nathan rubbed his temples. “I’m sorry about tonight. I thought things would be different.”
I shrugged. “Doesn’t matter.” I really wanted to go back to how it had been when we danced together, before he went cold on me. That wasn’t right either—I knew there was something there. I saw it in his eyes.
“Why is everything always so intense between us?” I asked him.
“What do you mean?”
“Don’t tell me you didn’t feel anything back there.” I stopped walking and stood in front of him.
His eyes softened. “Of course I felt… something.”
“But there’s always something, and you always back off! Then there are the dreams. In the art room that day, you were acting like you have my kind of dreams. Like it means something. What does it mean, Nathan?” I knew there was something. I felt it. I just couldn’t get a firm hold on what it could be. I was determined to find out.
He shook his head. “Nothing important.”
I glared up at him, but he was just as freaked out as me; I could see it in his face. I wasn’t sure how to continue the conversation, so I chickened out and fell silent instead. I didn’t know how to ask him questions without sounding crazy. Even though I was sure he understood exactly what I meant.
“I’m sorry everything is so messed up. I thought tonight would be fun for both of us.” He said. “I want… I’m sorry.”
“You can’t keep stepping away at the last second,” I said. He looked me right in the eye and nodded in agreement. That gave me a spark of hope that I wasn’t going mad, and there really was something I didn’t know yet.
“Can’t we just… forget the bad stuff and remember we had a good time for a while?” His voice sounded small and vulnerable.
“What do you want from me?” I said, braver than usual.
“Everything,” he whispered. “But I can’t take it. I can’t do that to you.”
I fought the sudden lump in my throat. “I don’t know what that means.”
“Trust me. You’re better off,” he said, his voice catching. I was appalled by the look on his face, as though everything in his life was broken somehow. He bowed his head, unable to look me in the eye.
“Nathan, are you okay?” I didn’t think. I just stepped toward him and held on, my forehead touching his. I gasped as his pain rolled over me. “Oh my God,” I whispered as it kept coming at me, over and over, a sea of misery.
“I’m sorry,” he said, pushing me away. “I forgot you feel it too.”
For a split second, I gaped at him, trying to understand what he was saying, how I was feeling, and how he knew. Or how I knew for that matter.
“What is that?” I said, confused and a little scared. “What’s happening to me?”
“I swear to you. It’s for your own good—and mine—if we walk away right now and forget about this,” he said, but every word just pushed a new wave of sadness over me. I laughed a little, feeling as if I had won something, because now I knew at least one thing for sure.
“You don’t mean that,” I said, hearing the incredulity in my own voice, because the certainty I had couldn’t be possible. He shook his head at me, panic etched on his face. I got in his way before he had a chance to run off.
“Talk to me,” I said, my palms on his chest. An imaginary fire burned through my skin, so I pushed harder and felt it run right through me. He panted like he had been sprinting. I slipped a hand to his cheek and felt the heat again. His eyes were dazed as he mumbled my name. The misery drifted away.
I hesitated, then thought screw it, I have to know, and gripped his shirt, lifting myself onto my tippy toes to reach his lips. I kissed him softly and moved away, but he held on and looked into my eyes. Then he kissed me. My fingers wound in his hair, and the kiss became fierce, passionate, never-ending. He whispered my name against my lips and held me as though he was never going to let go.
Until a low, rumbling growl separated us.
Chapter Eleven
One second I was in the middle of the best kiss of all time, the next I was behind Nathan. An enormous grey dog stood in the middle of the road, growling and baring its teeth. Impossibly large and stocky, it snapped its jaws until I grabbed the back of Nathan’s shirt in alarm.
“That’s a little like the dog that was outside my house.” I tried to keep my voice steady—I wasn’t afraid of dogs, but this one was larger than the wolfhounds and ten times as intimidating.
“Run, Perdita,” Nathan whispered, staring at the dog.
“Why?” I said, but I hadn’t stopped trembling since I laid eyes on the animal.
“It’s not a dog.” His voice was different, gruffer or something. He was right. It looked more like a timber wolf than a dog. That made no sense. I inched backward, seeing the animal joined by a smaller version that looked just as vicious—except this one had the colouring of a Golden Labrador. Maybe someone was breeding dogs with wolves?
Nathan swore, startling me. He whirled around and grabbed my hand.
“Run. Now.” His eyes flashed black, they had dilated so much. He ran, pulling me along. I raced after him, trying to keep up, not even sure where we were going. I heard a howl in the distance, but when I glanced behind me, it was clear it hadn’t come from either animal.
They ran after us, the grey in front, snarling and snapping ferociously. Nathan pushed me ahead of him before they caught up.
“Keep running until you get to my house,” he panted. “I’m right behind you. Just trust me!” He shouted the last few words, seeing me open my mouth in protest.
I felt his fear and ran. A hot burst of adrenalin, and the idea the animals were snapping at my heels spurred me on. Minutes away from Nathan’s front door, I didn’t stop running, not even when Cúchulainn sprinted past me, barking like crazy.
Byron raced out of the front door, pulling his shirt open. I heard the rip as I turned around to point toward Nathan. I looked back at Byron, trying to explain, but he was gone. A huge black furry creature sped past me, almost knocking me over as it kicked out its back legs to rid itself of some shredded denim.
Baffled, I stumbled backward, internally freaking out while some wolfhounds and what looked like a smaller, whiter version of the original wolf-dog raced by me. My legs buckled beneath me. Something in my head was shouting at me to understand, but logic battened down and wouldn’t let me process the thought properly.
“It’s okay,” a voice murmured as a pair of strong hands lifted me up. More howling rose up, louder than before, and dog barking. Lots and lots of dog barking. I looked up, speechless, into the dark brown eyes of Lia Evans—an elderly grandmother who had just lifted me from the ground with ease.
“What… what’s happening?” I said, but I couldn’t hear myself.
“We have to get inside,” she said, her arms around me, trying to lead me inside.
“Nathan,” I said, suddenly panicked. I ran off. I left him. “The dogs. Or whatever. They were right behind us. He… he told me to run here for help. I have… to go back. They were big. Really big.”
She shushed me. “It’s okay. Byron and Jakob are with him. They’ll take care of it. You have to get inside now, okay? I’ll help you. But please don’t scream. I don’t want Amelia to hear you.”
Jakob?
My mind and body wouldn’t connect. I knew I had to move, but my legs wouldn’t obey. The barking died down. Lia half carried me into her house, speaking to me all the time in a language I couldn’t understand. I didn’t realise I was shaking until she put a blanket around my shoulders and handed me a cup of hot coffee.
“It’s not possible,” I said as my mind went over what had happened outside. Byron had been running toward me one second, I looked away, and he was gone, replaced by a huge dog. Not a dog. Nathan said it himself. A wolf? Wolves? In Ireland?
My face scrunched up. Lia sat next to me, waiting patiently. I opened my mouth to ask her a question, but Nathan rushed into the room, closely followed by Cúchulainn. The
dog ran straight over to me.
Nathan’s cheeks were flushed and his eyes excited; he didn’t look scared at all, so I felt stupid. Shaking over a couple of dogs.
“You okay?” he asked me.
I nodded and looked him over. No injuries. Nathan and his grandmother exchanged glances.
“What just happened?” I said, gathering myself together.
Nathan hesitated. “Just some strays. Cú chased them off.”
Lia laughed. “I think the time for that is over, Nathan.”
He scowled at her but didn’t speak. Jakob and Byron came into the room, the same excitement in Jakob’s eyes. Byron was as cold as ever, his steely gaze fixed on me.
“You changed clothes,” I said, half to myself as a part of my awareness found a tidbit in my memory that I needed to focus upon. When I first saw him, he was wearing jeans and a shirt, now he had on a loose tracksuit—as if he was about to go jogging. He had ripped open his shirt. I knew it didn’t make sense at the time, but I was too worried about Nathan to quite grasp what he was doing. I looked around, and he was gone. Not gone. Not exactly.
“You… changed.”
I said the words; I couldn’t take them back, no matter how much my brain wanted me to. Byron was the black creature. He had turned into the black creature. Not a dog.
“Wolf?” I whispered, looking at Nathan. He looked as though he might vomit.
The atmosphere in the room tightened. “Wolf.” I said again, more sure of myself. Nathan wouldn’t look at me. Nobody denied it or said I was crazy. Nobody laughed. They should have laughed. It made no sense. I sounded insane.
“It had to be done sometime,” Lia said. “It’s true then. They’re here?” She looked at her husband.
Jakob sat next to her and put his arm around her shoulders. She leaned into him, sighing heavily.
“They ran,” Byron said. “No danger. Coincidence even.”
“What’s happening here?” I said. “Where’s Amelia? Somebody tell me… something. Something that makes sense.”
Lia took my hand and patted it, but it wasn’t until Nathan moved closer to me that I felt better.
“Opa,” he said. “I can’t…”
Byron paced the room and then halted, looking right at me. “She saw. It’s done. Perdita, yes, I changed into a wolf. I’m known as a werewolf, I suppose.”
I laughed, close to hysterical. A buzzing in my head kept getting louder and louder. I had to raise my voice just to hear myself. “Werewolves. Amelia’s bracelet. All this time, she’s been hinting, and I thought she was off her head. Where is she?”
“Asleep,” Lia said. “She doesn’t need to hear about this.”
“She doesn’t know?”
Lia smiled. “She knows, but she doesn’t need to worry about other werewolves.”
“Other… werewolves?”
“You were chased by werewolves, but we’re not certain why. We don’t know them. We ran them off. They probably won’t be back.” Byron’s voice was brisk, unfeeling.
“There’s more of them,” I said. They all stared at me. “At least one. I saw it outside my house one night. There was a dead cat on my doorstep the next day. But the… wolf, it wasn’t the same colour as those ones tonight.” I looked at Nathan, tried to see something in his face. Staring at his clothes, I realised he hadn’t been wearing them before.
“You? Are… you?”
He wouldn’t look at me, and I had my answer. I tried to imagine him as a wolf, but the buzzing got louder, and my world turned upside down. Lia held my head on my knees and told me to breathe. Her voice sounded funny in my head, echoing. After a few minutes of keeping my head down and trying to understand what everyone was whispering, I found it easier to breathe and pushed Lia’s hands away.
“Wow,” I said. “I have to go home. I can’t be late.”
I stood, still shaking, still unable to take in any of it. Jakob took my hands.
“It’s going to be all right, Perdita. I’ll drive you home now, but we can talk about this again,” he said, but then he spoke more sternly. “But you must never speak of this to anyone else. Do you understand?”
I saw darkness in his eyes, but I nodded, wanting to get away. Needing to get away.
“Wait,” Nathan said. “I need to talk to her first.”
Jakob hesitated, but Lia laid a hand on his arm. “Give them a minute. Nathan, take Cú.”
Nathan took my hand and led me outside, followed by Cúchulainn. I wanted to pull my hand away, but when he touched me, I felt a little better than before. Did he have some kind of magical power over me? My whole body went numb, but my mind kept racing, throwing the same few sentences out, over and over again.
Nothing came out of my mouth. Not when he faced me. Not when he called my name. He held me close to him, and I slowly felt better.
“Is that some kind of werewolf thing?” I asked.
“Is what some kind of werewolf thing?” he mumbled against my hair.
“Making me feel better when you touch me. That’s a thing, right?”
He sighed. “That’s a thing.”
“Is that why everyone likes you?”
“What?”
I swallowed. “Everyone likes you. Is that why? You’re doing something to them?”
“No, I’m not doing anything to them except trying to fit in.” Something in his voice made me think I was asking the wrong question.
“Is it… why I like you? Is there something you’re doing to me?”
He hesitated, his arms pulling me tighter. “Yes.”
I pushed him away and took a few deep breaths.
“I’m sorry,” he said at last.
“For what?”
“For… everything. There’s a lot I have to tell you now, and it’s all, well, it’s pretty much just as bizarre as everything else tonight. My family is cursed, and you’re a part of it.”
“Me?” I blinked a couple of times. “How? Is this all a joke or something?”
He shook his head. “No joke. We can talk about it sometime. After you’ve had a chance to let it sink in.”
I nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, that would probably be the best thing to do. Except, why were they chasing us? Those other… you know.”
He shrugged. “Not sure. They weren’t exactly friendly, but they ran off pretty quick.”
“Are you dangerous?” I blurted.
“I’m not going to hurt you,” he said firmly. “Take Cú with you if you’re scared. You know he’ll protect you.”
I laughed, but it sounded small and shaky. “Don’t think Dad would approve. I really have to go.”
None of us spoke in the car. I squashed myself as far into the corner of the seat as I could. Jakob hummed along to the radio as though there was nothing at all strange about the world.
I made it home in time. Nathan walked me to my door but didn’t put his hands on me at all. I was grateful because I felt as though I were about to burst out of my skin, and I didn’t need him doing whatever he kept doing to take away what I was really feeling. He put his hands in his pockets and looked almost ashamed, as though he knew exactly what I was thinking.
“I’ll see you tomorrow?” he asked, but he sounded unsure.
“Maybe. I don’t know yet.”
He nodded and waited until I got inside. I watched the car pull away even though Dad was still up.
“You got a lift?”
“Yeah, um, Nathan’s grandfather drove me home because he was worried.”
“Worried?”
I rubbed my eyes. “Yeah, he thinks it’s as dangerous here as everywhere else. I’m off to bed, okay? I’m exhausted. Too much dancing.”
He smiled. “Well, I hope you enjoyed yourself.”
I plastered a smile on my face. “Of course.”
Upstairs, I lay on my bed and found it hard to breathe. Nothing made sense to me. Nathan kissed me—I curled up with pleasure at that memory. But then a dog came. Except it wasn’t a dog. It was a wolf. No,
not even a wolf. A werewolf. A myth come true. And Nathan was one too.
I kissed Nathan.
I kissed a werewolf.
The thought was confusing more than repulsive. I didn’t freak out at the idea of Nathan changing into an animal, or even the notion he might be able to change how I felt with his touch—but the idea he might never have told me was… bothersome. Worse still, what did the other werewolves want?
I had always wanted something to happen, but I hadn’t meant this.
Chapter Twelve
A black shaggy werewolf visited my dreams all night. Hunted by others, over and over. I woke in the middle of the night, gasping for air, still struggling to make sense of everything. I wasn’t sure of anything anymore. Lucky it was Sunday—school would have been hell.
I hung around my house, only speaking to Joey briefly. I tried to sound normal, but I doubt he would have noticed anyway; he and Tammie had gotten together at the party. Tammie didn’t call or text me at all to tell me about it, but in a way, it was a relief, my head was too messed up to talk to her.
I thought over what I knew. It wasn’t much. I liked Nathan. I knew there was something different about him, but a werewolf? That wouldn’t have dawned on me in a million years. Even now I found it hard to believe, despite seeing a couple of wolves.
That niggled at me. What did they want? They picked an awkward time to attack. Right when Nathan and I kissed. At the time, it felt like they were warning me away, reminding me of the way Cú had warned Nathan when he accidentally hurt me.
I sat alone in my living room for hours until Lia Evans knocked at my door. I wasn’t sure I even wanted to open it, but my head buzzed with questions. Maybe she could help me. I invited her in, suddenly nervous around her.
“How are you feeling today?” she asked, looking me over carefully.
I shrugged. She gave a little sigh and sat down. “There’s more you need to know. I hope this isn’t too soon. If you need more time…”
More? What else could there be? Wasn’t the fact werewolves existed enough? But I had to know. “I’d rather be told, thanks. Seeing impossible things happen is a bit of a shock, you know?”