POEMOTION INNOCENCE
by
Copyright© Robert “Salahdin” Sawyer
Published by The Language Train, Inc. USA
Cover Design my Doa’a Zaineldin at Doa’a Designs, Alexandria, Egypt
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Copyright© Robert “Salahdin” Sawyer. This book contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author / publisher.
The contents of this book are not necessarily the opinions of the publisher or of any nation on earth. The publisher and author disclaim any personal loss of mind or liability caused by taking the time to actually think about one’s life as a result of reading the material herein.
This is dedicated to the Reader and the Mind within.
With special appreciation to Al, Lin, and the love they have always shown.
May you all be eternally blessed.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Introduction 5
1ST Segue… INNOCENCE
The Institution 7
My Fault? 7
I Wonder 8
Should, Could, Will 9
One Thought Leads to Another 10
Would It Be Worth It? 11
Strangers Forever 11
A - Frame Sanctuary 12
Shall The World Be Mine? 14
Money 14
Help 15
Mud-puddle Reflections 15
Blind Irony 15
Musical Communication 16
Production 16
The End Of the World As We Know It 17
A Dream: To Chase or Not to Chase? 18
Sing the Blues 20
Talking In Your Sleep 21
A Jogger’s Nightmare 22
Foolish Sacrifices 22
Waiting at the Airport 23
A Rainy Day in My Car 23
The Park 25
One Man’s Life as a Tree 26
Kitty-cat Cloudy Day 28
Democracy? 29
Octave 29
Salman 30
Me Nombre Es Roberto 31
The Closing Of A Year I (1987) 32
The Closing Of A Year II (1988) 33
The Closing Of A Year III (1989) 34
The Closing Of A Year IV (1991) 35
2nd Segue… LOVE POEMS?
Listen and Think 37
Thinking 37
Diligent Admiration 37
Romance Spied Through a Window 38
Lost Love? 38
Love? 38
My Hero 39
Sharing Experiences 39
Over Our Heads? 40
Please Don’t 41
Please Me 42
Gone 42
Missing you? 43
Loved and Lost 43
Heart-ache 44
Love Defined 44
3rd Segue… VIEWS OF AN AGNOSTIC
All the Joys of Christmas 46
Christmas 1991 47
A Prayer for the World 48
My Destiny? 48
Deathbed Prayer 49
His Return? 49
The World for a Man 50
Faith 51
Temptation 51
The Mirror of Value 52
Religious As I Saw It in 1991 52
4TH Segue… VISION’S OF AN AMERICAN G.I.
Barracks Blues 54
G. I. Nightlife on Guam 55
Restless Nights 56
Sleeping Politician 56
Mailbox 57
Peace 58
The Price of Freedom 58
Peace … Through Sleep? 59
No War Anymore 59
Senseless Killing Realized 59
G. I. Holidays 60
Dysentery in Diyarbakir 61
5th Segue… PSYCHOLOGICALLY PHILOSOPHICAL POEMOTIONS
No Pride for Me 63
Unknown 63
Right or Wrong 63
Pain 63
Unbelievably Inconceivable 64
Camouflaged 64
Do or Don’t Condemn 64
Simplicity 64
Nothing 65
Thoughts 65
Inside 66
Humanity 66
Life 66
Spread Happiness 66
Forever 67
Time Changing 67
Minutes 67
Listening to My Awakening 68
Pot of Gold 68
To Want Isn’t To Get 68
The Price We Pay 69
Greed 69
Reality 69
Dreaming 70
Regrets Prevent Dreams 70
Commitments for Dreams 70
Epilogue 71
One More Thing 72
POEMOTIONS
When one opens a new book, it is like opening a new world. A world never explored by that person. With the reading of every work there comes the discovery of new territory.
There are so many undiscovered worlds waiting to be explored, yet not enough explorers. It doesn’t take much to be a pioneer. All that is required is a mind that can think and a means by which to get the new territory to the exploring mind.
Poemotions are poems expressed through emotions with an aim at setting the mind in motion. They are poems taken from the heart. They are feelings expressed in words; sometimes making sense, sometimes not.
Poemotions must be read between the lines; taking the smallest expressions and developing them into Universal thoughts. Explore them and philosophically develop them into common sense and thoroughly thought out concepts of personal development. In the end, if no other achievement is reached other than the initiation of the thought process, then these Poemotions have succeeded. Ultimately… whatever it is you encounter in life… just… think about it…
Robert Sawyer
1988
Updated thoughts…
Since 1988 I have gone through some rather impetuous times, both physically and emotionally. In this time I have suffered a broken back, a broken marriage, a broken financial situation, a broken career and nearly broken life in general. However… I have never let any of these obstacles in life prevent me from thinking of goodness. I have never allowed any situation to brake my psychologically. I have struggled through it all and feel I am a better person because of all the trials I have endured. I would never wish these trials on anyone else, but then… my destiny is not the same as theirs. We all must go through our own things in life in order to get to whatever our destiny holds for us.
Looking back on several of these poems I think how childish they must be. But… I will not change them. They represent who I was at that particular time in my life. If I change them now, then it would be as if I am lying about who I was and that is not who I am. So no matter how immature some of the enclosed poems may be… they were meant to be that way, so there they are.
For anyone interested in a follow-up, you can look forward to the next edition coming out soon.
Thank you for taking the time to read what I had to say. May you live in peace.
Robert “Salahdin” Sawyer, 2011
1st Segue…
INNOCENCE
THE INSTITUTION
The institution
Set by the teacher
For the student
The student grows
Changing life through progress
The student learns
Developing through experience
&nbs
p; Experience developing through Education
The life develops through the institution
The institution the student’s life
The student sees the future
The student fears, hopes, strives
The institution gone
Emergence of a new life
A student to remain
MY FAULT?
I dislike people
But tell me…
Is it REALLY my fault?
I talk to no one
Except my pen and paper; tell me…
Is it really MY fault?
I dislike, but I care
Tell me…
Is it really my FAULT?
I WONDER
I wonder if this pen will work
I wonder if anyone will read this
I wonder about a lot of things…
If I will do alright in the “Real World”
If I will die a violent death
What will happen if I die…?
I wonder if the children of the world
Will grow up happy
I wonder which religion is true…
If there is such a thing
I wonder if anyone really loves me
If I really love anyone
I wonder if democracy is right
What political thought is right…?
If there is such a thing…
I wonder about life
I wonder about death
I wonder about life after death
I wonder about religion
I wonder about politics
I wonder about nature
I wonder about science
I wonder about people
I wonder about morality
I wonder…
Does it really matter?
SHOULD, COULD, WILL
Could I reach
The cookie jar… or…
Should I get
A chair
Should I trade my scooter
For a bike… or…
Could I get more
Than just the bike
Could I get
To the fair… or…
Should I ask
For the car
Should I try
To go very far… but…
Could I get there
With long hair
Could I get
A pay hike… or…
Should I simply
Take a hike
Should I consider death
Something of a scare… and…
Will I see my death
From near or far
Will I live long enough
To draw up a will…?
ONE THOUGHT LEADS TO ANOTHER
The world; it is
My mind it spins
What more do they want?
What I have to give isn’t a lot
All I really have is what I write
But does that make me wrong
Or does it make me right?
Is it better to be a clown,
Or should I, perhaps, frown?
Should I make the world better?
Or should I be an angry hater?
I love, I must confess
So I shall go down, even with the best
To hell with the rest!
My eyes focus on the sky
There they shall remain
Until the day I die…
I only pray I will be forgiven
For the sins I will commit
I believe I will never see heaven
Even though with all my heart I repent
My God… save me from man
I am already doing all I can
If you don’t I’ll try to understand
But first, I should sort out my thoughts, as confused as I am!
WOULD IT BE WORTH IT?
If one were to get
Something for
Nothing
Would it be worth it?
Or if one were to get
Something which is really
Nothing
Would it be worth it?
If one were to spend
Everything on
Nothing
Would it be worth it?
If everything goes for
Nothing
And something is gotten from
Nothing…
Or one thing is spent to gain
Everything, which ends up being
Something that will eventually be
Nothing… Would it be worth it!?
STRANGERS FOREVER
Not a planned look
Just a sudden glance
Meaning nothing
Lasting only for a moment
Two unknowns
To each their own
Lives apart to remain
A -FRAME SANCTUARY
The screen door squeaked and clamored shut
As I stepped onto the pine wood deck
Of my Uncle’s rotting, smelly hut
I looked across the football field-sized backyard
At the line of Evergreen trees
Surrounding the yard
In the far corner, to my left
I saw, through the sparse cover of fog
The A-Frame Clubhouse built form cunning and craft
The air was crisp and frosty as I breathed it into my lungs
It was both exhilarating and damp
Having the taste of freshly fallen rain that tickled my tongue
As I walked, my feet made a squashing sound against the damp wooden floor
The smell of bitter-sweet smoke wafted across my nose
It came from the wood-burning stove of my neighbor
I looked to my right at his open window
I heard the crashing and clanging of pots and pans
Wailing and fighting all at once coming through
The frost-covered ground crunched beneath my feet
Making my way to my Sanctuary
Feeling as if my heart had somehow skipped a beat
The sun was beginning to rise over the horizon so distant
With streaks of red, orange and yellow shooting towards me
As if to grab and expel me into the outer limit
The large, hollow door of the A-Frame, with a rope for a handle
Seemed to have grown, thus difficult to open
But I wouldn’t let that keep me from a place so tranquil
The air inside the A-Frame was dense and damp
The scent of mildew, saw-dust and gasoline breeding
At my nostrils the stench fiercely did slap
I reached to my right
In search of a string, which climbed to a 40-watt bulb
With a quick tug, I clicked on the light
I heard the scampering of mice in search of hiding
One dashed lightly across my feet, then safely under a pile of wood
As if the light had a certain foreboding
I looked around the petite cubicle hoping to spot another tiny creature
But instead only saw a collection of rusting gardening tools
And an old, lopsided processor, all sitting in a corner
To my right was the newly finished staircase
Under which sat a riding lawnmower and gardening hoses
Along with dried out potted plants, which I thought to be senseless
I crawled up the stairs and felt the freezing wood bite at my fingers
When I reached the top, I was blinded by a sunbeam
Though temporarily impaired, I could tell that dust still lingered
The scent of the mildew form the damp and rotting mattress
Danced uncaringly through my nose
And when I dove on its center I sent dust shooting from around its edges
I peered out the window at the vast green forest in the distance
Letting the sound of the rattling window
And the mild nipping of the cool air on my sk
in send me into a trance
I dreamed of far away places with flowers and doves
Letting my mind drift from the misery and pain
Gratefully thankful for how peaceful my Sanctuary was
SHALL THE WORLD BE MINE?
Here I sit…
Contemplating the reason why
I could conquer the world
But I daren’t try
I could easily do it
The masses are easily spoken for
But I could not do it
I wouldn’t know exactly what to say
Shall the world actually be mine?
I would think that it would
It is only a matter of time
If only I had enough courage.
MONEY
Money…
Let us discuss this
For a moment, shall we?
Well…
You see
We have close to none.
Hmm…
Quite a problem could arise
From such a situation.
But…
If we work harder and make more
Then we will be happier.
Or…
I could
Be wrong…
HELP
I’m here
Lost in an
Ocean of confusion
Find me and
Help me
Swim to the shore
I will then be
Able to walk
Along the beach
And feel the
Coolness of the sand
Beneath my feet
MUDPUDDLE RELFECTIONS
Looking down
I see the vast dark blue sky
Clouds so white and fluffy floating by
The trees upside-down
Lush and green
So full of leaves
I walk forward
Only to be disappointed
As I draw ever so near
The mud beneath the reflection becomes clear
BLIND IRONY
“What does it take
To make you see what I’m saying?
Why do you have such a thick skull?”
The half deaf, blind man
Ironically says to