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He points at the wound, "We tell them we got ambushed and the bandits stole my ID. "
I glance at Sarah and Star, lowering my voice, "I need you to stay with them. "
He clenches his jaw. My eyes dart to Jack's son really quickly. He gets what I'm saying, thank God, and nods, "You hurry. "
Leo jumps into the truck, but I shake my head, "You gotta stay with Sarah. She needs you. "
His yellow eyes get confused and sad for a minute. I shake my head again, swallowing the lump in my throat; I hate that I keep leaving him. His lip twitches, flashing me a fang. I smile, "Don’t even give me that face. You gotta stay with Sarah. "
He looks at her as she wipes her face, and tries not to look at Will's still and bloody body. He makes his shitty wolf noise and gets out of the truck. His limp looks bad. I nod at Star, "Check that leg, k?"
She nods, "Be fast. "
Bernie passes them weapons. It dawns on me that we are near the place where I killed the infected and Will was in the tree. I shudder and drag my exhausted body closer to his lifeless one. I lift his still face into my lap and press my back into the back of the cab. Bernie and Anna jump in the front seat. I rifle Will's pockets, finding the crinkled pass in his back pocket.
The truck pulls away from the other half of us still standing on the dusty road, looking lost.
Sarah drops to her knee, wrapping her arms around Leo's head.
I wish everything were different.
Chapter Five
The apartment isn’t the same without Will there. I pace back and forth and wonder how Bernie lived in such a tight place before. The walls feel like they're closing in around me.
I hold myself and pace. Anna doesn’t move. She stares out the window, like she doesn’t know how to be in here either.
I walk to the kitchen, grabbing some sandwiches that Bernie brought us. He got the stuff from the stores supply place. I eat because I should. I know that if I'm going to be strong again, I need food. It’s the same reason that I eat when I come upon berries, even if I'm not hungry, I know I need them.
Anna watches out the window and then turns to see me eating. She nods and holds a hand out. I bring her two. She stuffs one in her mouth, chewing the whole thing and swallowing like a snake.
I sigh, "You think it's close to being over?"
She shakes her head and gets up. She comes back with water for both of us.
The sun sets in front of the huge window in the living room. It makes the odd-looking city appeared to be on fire with the orange light.
My stomach is a ball of nerves, and I have the worst feeling I can imagine.
"It doesn’t seem like the way it should have gone. "
She nods slowly, not looking at me.
"It seems like we should have found the creepy baby killers and killed them for Meg, then killed my dad, and then went and started over. I don’t even know how to make it right again. I don’t care about the babies, and the people, and the suffering. " My words are cold and they burn my tongue a little, but that can't make me care. I just don’t.
I look at her, hating the dead stare on her face, like she knows he's dead and she's given up. I hate that I probably look like that too. I bite my lip and look out the window again, "When it's over, whether he makes it or not, we give up. "
She looks at me hard, but I shake my head, "We give up, we walk away, and we say screw this. I don’t wanna be some flashy crow, and I don’t wanna have the responsibility of the whole of what's left on my shoulders. "
She searches my face and nods, putting her pinky finger out like Meg always did. I wrap mine around it and shake them, "We go home and make a new life, and say forget the rest of them. "
She doesn’t whisper or try to say anything. She isn’t a coward. She doesn’t take that path ever; it will be her first time.
I nod, "I'm done losing people. "
We sit on the odd couch that feels too stiff, like no one ever sat on it, and watch the sky get dark again, like it has for the three nights we've been here. All I can do is pray that Jake, Star, and Jack's son, who I still have not formally met, are taking care of Leo and Sarah. I need that to be the case. I feel spread so thin that there isn’t room for me to worry about them too.
The door opens; it makes us both lift a revolver to the person walking in.
Bernie's eyes are red and tired. He nods, "He made it. "
I sigh and hug Anna. My eyes are closed, forcing tears back into them. Anna sighs over and over into my hair.
I turn to face him, "What happened?" We hadn’t seen Bernie since the first day we arrived. He brought us food and left again.
He grabs a sandwich and sits down on the other uncomfortable chair, "Infection of the lung, pneumonia, so they had to drain it. He's been pumped full of every kind of antibiotic and other stuff. They have amazing technologies here; it's the only thing that saved him. " He sighs, "They have him in a drug-induced coma and on a respirator. "
Anna frowns, "What does that mean?"
Bernie shakes his head, "He won't be leaving here for some time. "
Something about his face, and the way he says it, makes me feel weird. I don’t say anything, I wait for him to continue; I know he's going to.
He swallows his sandwich and leans over, taking Anna's water. He rubs his eyes, looking lost, "They know he's a rebel. The doctors from the breeder farm he was once in remembered him. They were there; they recognized him. "
My throat feels swollen and dry.
He looks at me, "I told them I knew nothing of it and left him there in their custody. "
I'm frozen but Anna jumps up, her whisper screams are savage. She sounds like the infected have surrounded us. Her raw, high-pitch wheeze looses the words and neither of us knows what she is saying.
She leaps at Bernie, slapping and wheezing. He wraps himself around her, cradling her. He whispers back, trying to soothe her. She has finally snapped.
I am still frozen, taking it all in, but there is a question I don’t understand, "Why are they keeping him alive, if they know what he is?" It comes out as a whisper, hollow and detached.
Bernie's eyes lift from Anna. He licks his lips and closes his eyes, "They know who you are to him. Marshall made a deal to trade you and Will in for a pass to the city. He wanted in, not just because life was easier here, but also because he had plans to sabotage the breeder program from within. He knew the best way to kill the snake, was to cut the head off. Marshall made the deal for you and Will. He convinced them Will was the leader of the rebellion and the instigator of the attacks on the breeder farms. He told them he was Will's captive and the way Will originally escaped the breeder farm. "
It just keeps getting worse. The pile is so big I don’t have a solution for the things that are going wrong.
I get up and start pacing again.
"Do they know I'm here?"
He shakes his head, "They don’t know what you look like. They assume like your father, but you don’t, actually. You look like her. "
My head snaps around, "You've seen her?"
He nods, "Yeah. Her picture is in the files—hers and Star's mom’s, and the other first ones. "
I can't get my breath. It's getting caught in my throat.
Anna is running her hands over her face and shaking her head.
I put my hands up, "I need air, Bernie. I need air. I can't breathe in here. I need some air. " I'm about to panic. I can feel it. It's like the dead bodies in the bags are lying on top of me again. I can't get past them.
Bernie takes my hand and Anna's in his and pulls us out the front door. He drags us to the door with the stairs on it and pulls us inside of it. We walk up the stairs until we reach a door at the top. He opens it and holds it open. Warm air rushes me as I step out onto the roof of the building. I walk to the edge and breathe, like it's the first time in years, or ever.
The wind fee
ls like it's coming from every direction. I can't help but close eyes and put my hands out, and let it overwhelm me.
Plans and ideas are forming fast in my head, moving like a chain over a gear. I push them away; fight or flight isn’t going to save me this time. I need to be smarter than my father.
I glance at Bernie, "What was Marshall's plan and how do you know it?"
He gives me a confused look, "I was told Marshall's version he fed them, and I figured the rest out on my own. Marshall and Will escaped the breeder farm with a doctor named Herbert Langdon. Langdon died in the escape, but told Marshall that his brother Clyde worked in the city, for the planners. Will told me this years ago. We never thought much about it, not thinking we were going to destroy the city, or maybe just kill your dad. Long and short of it, I went to see Clyde. Marshall had him give him plans and weak points and a few other things. He said Marshall had a place in the city. Between Clyde and the doctor's stories, I have pieced it together. "
I process it and look out at the night settling in over the city, "Did you tell Clyde, Marshall was dead?"
He scoffs, "No. That would be dumb. I told him we were here to put Marshall's plan into action. He told me to wait two days; that’s what he needed to evacuate the people on our side from the city. "
I glance at him, "He plans on destroying the city?"
He nods.
Anna whispers, "Then the bombs must be here already. "
Bernie nods again, "Yup. He must have everything here and be ready to roll. I assume it's all in his place. We just need to find where he lived. "
I shake my head, "Impossible. This place is massive. "
"I know, but I have an in; I wrote the program to keep track of residents. It keeps track of health checkups and incidents. Everyone has a residence listed. "
It almost feels hopeful, but then I remember Will, "How do we get Will out of here?"
He sighs, "That’s the hitch. They expect you to come for him. They expect you to break into the city. They said the guards have been upped on the gates and the perimeters, and people in the streets are being checked. "