Miniature Fiction: 50 Very Short Stories
By: Patrick Lane
Copyright © 2013 by Patrick Lane
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Introduction
Miniature Fiction is a website I started for very short stories. Its currently hosted on tumblr and can be found by going to MiniatureFiction.com
I started this as a website where some friends and I could share some short stories. Most of them are mine, but there is a growing number of people who find the site and submit their own. Please submit your own if you feel so inclined. I give links to authors tumblr pages, websites, twitter feeds, ebooks… whatever they want.
If you submit a story, it is yours to do with as you please. It will never be sold or claimed as mine. If a story of yours is published you are consenting to having it shared as that is partly what the site is all about. However, I do ask that anyone who shares the stories give their writer proper attribution. Please don’t claim ownership of other peoples works. Authors who become regular contributors may be given their own section on the site that points to all the various places they can be found on the web.
Currently, all the stories being published on Miniature Fiction are limited to three sentences. This may seem like an arbitrarily small amount for a story, but the idea is to create very short fiction that can be consumed quickly while people are browsing. In the future, this may be increased slightly, but for now that’s all there is. It’s a challenge, but I think some people find it fun.
You can also find Miniature Fiction on twitter @MiniatureFic and by emailing me at
[email protected] Enjoy and let me know what you think.
All stories on the site and appearing in this book are Copyright © 2013 by Pat Lane
Miniature Fiction: 50 FREE Very Short Stories
1. Only Pain, Only Resentment
When I first started playing fantasy football I thought it was “fun”, that it would help me learn more about individual players and be able to talk to guys about more things than how awful the Redskins are doing. Now I realize fantasy football is really only based on pain and resentment. Players want to cause their friends pain, and losers are filled to the breaking with resentment. What a great game right?
2. Overlord
John was very confused as he watched millions of people expressing their joy over the election on various news channels and social media. He looked out the window at the barbed wire fences around his neighborhood and the 5 military drones patrolling the streets looking for curfew violators. John wondered why everyone was so excited about their oppressive Overlord being re-elected again, but of course he would never dare say something out loud.
3. This one? Or This one?
The optometrist flipped the lenses back and forth as he tested my vision, asking me over and over which one I liked better. Being borderline blind I wasn’t sure which one I liked better, but I was 100% positive that if he didn’t stop flipping the lenses every 2.5 seconds I was going to murder him.
4. Cultured
Yea, sure, he had grown up stupid and ignorant; he knew that now. But now he was on a mission to learn more about movies, music, literature (which he stupidly referred to as “spelling”). Unfortunately he started out by copying all the hipsters he saw and trying to follow only what they follow, without understanding whats good and why its good.
5. Sick As A Dog
A friend came over my apartment to visit me, she made me some food because I was such a wreck I couldn’t do it myself. My friend, Lisa, said I looked “sick as a dog”. Now, two days later and still feeling absolutely miserable I looked at my dog Cody sleeping peacefully on the couch and I honestly thought I would give anything to feel that way.
6. Click, Click, Boom
I refer to it as “gun porn”, all the various ways that guns are glamorized in Hollywood movies. Between the close ups on the guns, all the various clicking and handling of the guns that goes on, the way the heroes and villains seem attached to their guns; it really is like the movie makers have some kind of obsession with them. But even I didn’t expect it when I watched the latest big Hollywood blockbuster and a gun was literally used as a sexual object.
7. Future Day
The time traveler input the date, hoping against hope that his machine would work, that it would take him to where he wanted to go. June 27, 2012 was the day he had chosen after careful study; he hoped that it was far enough in the future that the world would be a better place, away from the tyranny and war and death, but still close enough in time to where he was now that he wouldn’t be totally out of touch. He staked his whole life on building this machine, and now he turned the key…
8. The Harvest
Everyone in town knew it was wrong, but it was very important that this years harvest go well, for them and the whole country depending on their crops. The town leaders tied the virgin down to the altar and lit the fire pit...
9. There Can Be Only One
Swords clashed, horses reared, and sweat pored down the combatants faces. Fear permeated them, the fear of losing and being banished to the realm of losers where part of their soul would be taken from them; winners would receive eternal glory. In the game of chess… there can be only one victor.
10. I Stay Late for No One
“I’m gonna need you to stay till 4:30 today,” the boss said as he walked out the door at 3:20. The man chuckled, went around the office setting every clock forward one hour and left five minutes later.
11. There Can Be Only One Redux
Still recovering from my mid-fall flu, I woke up early on a Saturday morning. The ground was frozen and the sun had yet to come up, but I had to get ready. Today was the flag football playoffs and one way or another, there can be only one survivor.
12. Job the Cat
Pat was half a mile away from home on his walk with Scarlett, the beagle, when he noticed Job (the cat) was still following him. He wondered if Job would ever get too far away to find his way home.
13. “Do You Know What It Feels Like to be Unmade?”
Tom felt his soul being ripped out of him by the monster as his eyes glazed over. He knew his mind was slipping away as the life and spirit was taken from him piece by piece.
14. “Badges? We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Badges!”
“I want to see your badge!” Officer Jones heard the motorist yell. He handed over his badge with his right hand and pulled the trigger with his left.
15. I Edit Wikipedia
At first I was afraid, I was petrified; thinking that if I made an error editing Wikipedia that somehow the Wiki-gods would know and destroy my computer. I got over this fear making a few small edits that I knew couldn’t hurt anyone. Now that I know how easy it is I can’t wait to start getting idiot teenagers in trouble when they try to use Wikipedia as a source for their term papers……..
16. Turkey War
In the year 2059 America will break out into another civil war, the Turkey War. Everyone always thought turkeys would be plentiful and no one would ever have to go to Thanksgiving dinner without them. The Great Turkey Plague of 2040 was only the beginning, now it was state against state over the precious few turkeys left.
17. Prometheus
The images on screen were horrifyingly glorious, disturbing and beautiful, but the experience was being ruined by stupid teenagers in the theater taking pictures on their cell phones, texting and checking various social media platforms. Pat thought about the disgusting images in the movie, let that feeling sink in; then he walked down the aisle towards the worst offender and forced himself to throw up all over the stupid, unfeeling moron who was ruining everyone else’s Friday night.
18
. Hard Boiled
He’d spent most of his life hard boiled, and he’d grown to like it. Now his life was ending as someone cruelly cracked his shell and swallowed him whole.
19. Fangs Out!
Night fell on Beltsville Maryland, the moon was huge and bright in the sky, good hunting weather. Lori’s fangs grew more menacing as she smelled young blood in the air and smiled; tonight she’d have the pleasure of delivering her kill to the King.
20. Good Morning
He laced his shoes, straitened his shorts and pulled the hood over his head as he opened the door for his daily 5 AM run. Stepping out onto the pavement the cold, pouring rain immediately soaked through to his bones. Figures.
21. Why Me?
“My alarm didn’t go off, I lost power while taking a shower, my car wouldn’t start, I got a flat tire, it was raining, traffic was bad, I got into an accident, I twisted my ankle walking across the parking lot and I fell down the stairs.” The General Manager heard the tale of woe, sighed and looked at the ceiling while considering the man’s fate, “You’re fired.”
22. Fresh Air
The business executive got home from work and put his briefcase down with a thud. Finally he could begin working on what he liked to call his “side project”, a novel. He grabbed his typewriter and gas mask as he decided it would be a good day to work outside; the smog wasn’t too bad today and the weather forecast said the chances of an acid rain shower were minimal.
23. The Wild Ones
The group of twelve kids ran through the town all day; make believing they were kings and queens, super heroes, monsters, aliens or cops and robbers. Deep down inside they all knew the truth, this world belonged to them.
24. “Is This Your Dog?”
As the man stared at me from his front door, he casually glanced at this dog that I had rescued from wandering the neighborhood aimlessly. He calmly called the cute collie inside, indicated he didn’t realize he was out and said, “yea… he escapes sometimes.” This idiots clear lack of emotion about the potential loss of his dog made me come to a decision…. I was taking that dog back, this guy didn’t deserve it.
25. Run Down
The warehouse was totally run down, dilapidated, and appeared to have possibly been destroyed by a flood. But as the new, proud owner it looked like gold to me. Clutching the deed and mentally hanging onto the dream I had for the building, I knew the future was bright.
26. The Outlaw
The government’s forces had said they’d chase him to the end of the Earth. As he looked out the thick plexiglass and saw the whole expanse of Mars City he knew he’d never be back to Earth ever again…, “Earth, what a shit hole.”
27. The Side Betting
Not content with watching the NFL, playing PigSkin Pick’em, playing in multiple fantasy football leagues; C.D. had begun making bets with his friends based on players’ stats. At first the bets were entirely reasonable; he’d bet $1, a beer, a shot of alcohol. Now, as his the light of his soul dimmed further and further the bets became more extreme in a attempt by C.D. to feel something… ANYTHING.
28. It Started Out So Simple
The scientist’s took the alien spores found on Mars and did what scientists do… they studied them. Convinced they were entirely harmless they grew them in a lab and were astonished that what they cultivated grew into tiny plants with spores unlike any they had ever seen. How could they know they had unleashed the billion year old alien menace that had destroyed the once great civilizations on Mars?
29. It’s Just One Draft I Swear!!!!!!!!!!!!
Frank was becoming seriously afraid for his friend; afraid, sad and disgusted. The fantasy football season was months away, but his friend David spent at least 5 hours a day studying, mock drafting and making notes. Frank decided he had to help David, so he changed all of David’s passwords to every sports website, changed all of his email passwords, kidnapped him and dropped him off at a homeless shelter all in the name of forcing David to take a break from internet football.
30. Never. Again.
He woke up in a cold sweat, the memory of his horrible nightmare still clinging to his subconscious; but as bad as the nightmare was the truth that spawned it was that much worse. That trip to Olive Garden really HAD been that awful.
31. The Iron Price
He’d tried everything to win his fantasy football league, to no avail as he finished second for the 3rd year in a row. He had done more than he ever thought he would, spending hours trying to build the perfect line up, paying for advice, lying to his friends and loved ones. Now, in his deepest, darkest hour of desperation he thought he might have figured out a way to become champion; if he killed the first place owner…. he became champion by default…. right?
32. Ears Ringing
His ears rang. He heard the ringing every minute of everyday for his entire life. On day 10,950 he ended it by jamming two forks into his ears and pushing until the ringing stopped.
33. Information Overload
Jeff was using his iPad to read a book, but he kept his iPhone secured in his left hand to keep him constantly updated on his fantasy football teams progress. To his left was a laptop he was using to chat with multiple friends in multiple windows and on his right was another laptop where he was “working from home.” After a full day of this his dreams were filled with the sounds of clicking keys, text message alerts, and endless numbers of computer screens.
34. OCD Nightmare
When he left the office, his desk was clean, free of clutter, almost pristine. Three days later his coworkers had managed to pile it high with files, random junk and their own personal belongings.
35. Insomnia Forever
Waking at 2:30, I tried for an hour to go back to sleep. Finally, I got out of bed and went in to the living room to read. Three hours later I was definitely feeling tired, unfortunately now I had to go to work.
36. Schadenfreude
I’ve got nothing left, no joy at all, except the joy I have in watching others fail. This is what my 2012 season of fantasy football has come to. No longer do I scour the wire looking for someone to help me win; I only take joy in others pain and in making bets with insane friends who are high on their latest waiver wire pick up.
37. All In
I’ve tried to protect myself, emotionally, because I’ve been burned before. That’s all over now because I’m going all in on the Redskins, and if they fail several years will be taken off my life. But god damn I’m so happy they beat the Giants and Eli Stupid Manning last night.
38. Someone Like Me
Searching the nameless, seemingly faceless hordes, I tried desperately to find someone whose light hadn’t gone out. Anyone whose brain hadn’t been turned off by The Virus. One day, when I was close to killing myself, I finally saw someone through the crowd… but were they friend or foe?
39. Strong Armed
Aaron felt his chest slam into the wall, his elbows pinned behind his back as his boss screamed, “YOU’RE A FREE LOADER!” Struggling through the pain Aaron yelled back, “How am I a free loader, money goes to the union out of every check I get before I even see the check!” he felt another slap on the back of his head as his boss and union president growled, “Your not paying the FULL dues, only the mandated dues, you owe us another $30 per month free loader;” with that his boss yanked his arm higher, breaking it.
40. When the Revolution Comes…
She was cut off in traffic on her way to work and that same jerk flipped her off. Her “fresh” coffee from Starbucks was cold, her deadbeat cousin called her to ask for money, her low life boss called her into his office for a “chat”. Throughout the day she accumulated a 1,000 little slights and wrote them all down; all these people would die when the revolution comes...
41. 525,600 Minutes
There are approximately half a million minutes in each year. After carefully keeping track I realized I used about half of those thinking about how much I hate my mortal enemy, and another hundred
thousand or so carefully keeping track of my thoughts from minute to minute. Obviously, this doesn’t leave a lot of time for the positive things in life, but if I could eliminate my enemy, that would free up a lot of my day...
42. Finding Comfort On a Cold Morning
I shook my head and my ears flew around comically, then I walked over to my human and got under the comforter and lay down on his lap. A few minutes later a noise disrupted my slumber and I dutifully barked out the window for five minutes, surely scaring whatever dared make a noise early in the morning. Then I went right back to where I was and fell half asleep, one eye open and ready for a chance to bark at something else.
43. Pain
His back hurt, both knees were swollen, he was pretty sure he had pulled his calf, and there was a sharp pain in both elbows. His ankle throbbed as he tied his laces and his neck cracked as he put his hat on. There was no part of him that didn’t hurt, but he had to keep going, Calverton Softball waits for no man.
44. Lizard Brain Cometh
He wanted to make a change, to try something new; to attempt something kinda scary. But a tiny part of his brain, his lizard brain, was telling him to slow down and back up, compromise; his most irrational fears were causing him to shake as his lizard brain took over. It grew and grew, he could feel his body changing - his DNA morphing to match the once tiny part of his brain that evolution dictated he share with lizards and now when he looked in the mirror he was no longer a human being.
45. Nothing Is True, Everything is Permitted
Majoring in philosophy meant that I spent a lot of time in classes listening to teachers questioning everyone’s beliefs, their religions, their morals, their emotions. At some point the “education” moved into questioning whether the world exists, or why there can be no real right or wrong in a world where we can do anything we choose; at some point I took this all to heart and decided to lie, cheat and steal my way through life. Because if nothing is true then everything is permitted, and everyone else doesn’t matter because their emotions aren’t real anyway.