“Yeah, it’s an old saying, but Conner said it when it started to snow the other night. What’s wrong? You don’t believe in that stuff or just not in old wive’s tales?”
She stopped at a red light and looked at me for my answer.
I shrugged and looked out the snowy window. “I don’t give much thought to angels,” I said. They are mean, greedy, selfish beings. Trust me, I knew.
She took the Lincoln Tunnel and emerged into a wintery wonderland worse than what we came from, nothing on that side of the tunnel seemed to have been plowed. I finally buckled my seatbelt, but still sat at the edge of the passenger seat; knuckles white and clutching the dashboard. I seriously thought she was trying to kill us with the sliding and driving she was doing. I kept asking her if she’d like to stop and go someplace safe until the storm was over, she ignored me.
My cell phone rang. Conner.
“We made it here without Tucker and Blake getting throttled by Ethan or Alex. I swear, I think Ethan is really going to kill them both. But, for now, we’re all safe out of the storm.”
“That’s good; we just got out of the tunnel, so we aren’t too far behind you guys.”
“Shane, they are talking about white out conditions on I-80. Maybe you guys should stop somewhere. It’ll give you a chance to talk to Grace about stuff. Tell her how you feel. Lea really thinks you should. Something is going on with Blake and Tucker, and Lea is freaking the hell out. If you really have feelings for her, dude, you really need to step up to them, man.”
“I wish that I could, bro, but she won’t stop.” I glanced at Grace, who was leaning at the edge of her seat trying to see through the front windshield. “I think this is her way of offing me. I’ll see you in a bit, hopefully. Later.”
“Later, bro, stay safe.”
I clicked off my phone. “They made it there okay. Conner says the roads are getting worse. They are talking about white out conditions on I-80.”
Thick chunks of snow collided with the windshield; the wipers could barely stand against the attack. “We can’t go back now. It’s fine. Look,” she pointed through an almost opaque windshield. “The roads aren’t so bad.”
“Oh my God, you are trying to kill us. Lea is right, you really do have some sort of a death wish,” I said.
Eye roll.
“Do you want to explain to me why you are driving in this insane blizzard to get to someone you don’t want to be with? Or am I wrong about you and Tucker? Or Blake, you know the guy you don’t know anything about but the fact that he has blue eyes.”
“I don’t want to be with Tucker. Let me just concentrate on driving.”
Shit, she didn’t say anything about Blake. I should just tell her what a freaking dirty drug addict he is. “Grace, just listen to me…”
“Please, Shane, I won’t be able to drive if I have tears in my eyes.”
Aww, shit. I glanced over at her profile. She was white knuckling her steering wheel, biting her bottom lip and I could tell she was fighting back tears. I couldn’t be the one to make her cry. I leaned my body against the door and watched her as she drove. After an hour, I had to bite at my fucking knuckles not to scream about how much I was in love with her. It was killing me not to tell her, not to let her know how much I was dying to be with her. Grace could make me forget. She had this strange power over me, she made me want to stay human, and find a way to become a better man for her.
Slapping me from my thoughts, the explicit voice of Drill Sergeant Hartman screamed through Grace’s GPS telling her to take the next exit or he would unscrew her head and shit down her neck, HOOO-RAAAA! Shit like that is why I freaking think I love her.
The Jeep skidded onto the off ramp and almost slid into a snow embankment. I grabbed the steering wheel, turning it into the skid, and somehow managed to straighten out. “Damn, Grace, let off the gas!” I cursed under my breath.
She let out a low gasp. “We’re almost there,” she said. “The GPS says we’ll be there in three minutes. And, um, thanks for saving our asses,” she laughed, merging slowly onto a completely whited out road.
Drill Sergeant Hartman’s voice screeched again, “What is your major malfunction, numbnuts? You have exactly three seconds to get the hell out of this car. You’ve reached your destination, you piece of amphibian shit! Hoo-rah!” Outside the windshield was pure white. Grace’s mouth was positioned into a perfect ‘o’ and her eyes were wide with terror.
“Tucker’s driveway is right off this main road, so we are probably at the entrance,” I explained.
Her answer was to drive right into a damn snow bank and cringe.
“Looks like the drive is plowed in,” I said laughing. “Try to pull up to the right more so you’re off the main road in case another plow comes by and doesn’t see us.”
For probably the first time ever in this twisted friendship, she took my advice and pulled her Jeep closer, shifted into park and pulled up the brake. “Should we get out and walk from here?” she asked.
Suicide mission? Fuck no! “Tucker’s driveway is at least three miles long because it’s part of the ski resort about a half mile up. The driveway even has its own name, and there’s no way we can walk in this for three miles. I’ll call them and see if he can get to us with the snowmobiles.”
I tried calling, but I got no reception at all and when Grace tried, it went right to voice mail, so she left a message. “Hey guys, we’re here, but, we’re stuck at the entrance of the driveway. Um…can someone tell Tucker, so he could come get us with the snowmobiles?” She glanced up at me and continued, “Kind of hurry, because it’s flipping cold out here.” Then she hung up and stared at me. “What should we do?” she asked anxiously.
“We should stay in here until we can get them on the phone. That way, Grace, we won’t die out there in the pretty white stuff,” I teased. “Kill the ignition, so you don’t waste the gas.”
A tremendous gust of wind blew hard against the Jeep making it sway, which caused Grace to try to call Conner and Lea on her cell phone again frantically. She still couldn’t get through.
I was hoping they wouldn’t get any of the messages; I liked being in a tight confined space with her. I shifted around in my seat to face her, “My ass is asleep from sitting so long. Is that even possible? Wanna rub it for me?” I laughed teasingly.
“Shut up,” she laughed back shaking her head.
I tried to make myself more comfortable in the small box she called a vehicle, but no deal. I was way too big for the Jeep. As I moved around, I skimmed my hand lightly across her knee, and I watched as her entire body shivered. Fuck me, it wasn’t even cold in here yet. Was that from my touch?
I bent forward, sprang the handle on the seat, and pushed it all the way back. “You’re cold already, climb over here,” I whispered, locking my eyes with hers.
She held my gaze for a moment before she looked down and whispered sadly, “That’s not necessary.” I could plainly tell she wanted to, but just wouldn’t let herself.
Outside, the wind screamed louder, and inside, an icy draft blew in, dropping the temperature faster. “What’s in your glove box?” I asked, wondering if she had any supplies we could use like a flashlight, or matches or even a freaking umbrella. A damn blanket would have been useful too.
“My glove what?” she asked, confused.
I shook my head, laughed and pointed to the dashboard right in front of me.
“Oh, you mean my glove compartment. Trust me, there’s nothing in there you’ll want to see,” she explained teasingly. Now she’s flirting with me? Women really do confuse the hell out of me.
“Glove BOX. And is that supposed to make me not want to know what’s inside it?” I laughed and flirted back. “Because, trust ME, it doesn’t.”
We both reached for it at the same time, but I got to it first and flung it open. About half a dozen tampons flew out at me. Ugh. That’s the freaking equivalent of taking an ice cold shower.
Grace laughed uncontrollably. ??
?I told you it’s nothing you’d want to see, so why do you always have to try to get your way?”
I reached my hand in and felt around, throwing the last tampon on her lap. “Because I was hoping you had one of these,” I said smiling, holding up a flashlight to taunt her with it. Our eyes locked when I lobbed the flashlight back inside and closed the compartment. A loose strand of silky hair fell against her cheek and I couldn’t help but tuck it gently behind her ear. Another shiver rocked her body. I pressed my lips together tightly and closed my eyes for the briefest of seconds so her beauty wouldn’t blind me to my senses. I was desperate to kiss her but I still needed time to earn her trust. However, as I opened my eyes to her heart stopping gaze again, she shivered once more.
I unzipped my jacket and slowly peeled it off. “Come here, Grace, you’re freezing.” I reached out for her, gathered her into my arms, and gently pulled her onto my lap. I breathed her scent in deeply and held her tight in my arms, draping my coat over us.
Just like we were a perfect fit, she nuzzled right into my chest under the cover of my jacket. Right though my damn skin and into my heart.
She snuggled closer and giggled. Okay, now she’s really just trying to kill me.
Loving the feel of her body against mine, I moaned and held her tighter, “What are you giggling at under there?”
She poked her head out from under my jacket, our faces so close to each other I could barely breathe. Our lips were so close that, one more inch and they’d touch. I never wanted one more inch so much in my life. And don’t let your mind go anywhere else about me wanting more inches, because I don’t need any more inches anywhere on my body. Trust me.
“I’m losing it,” she laughed. “I’m desperate for some hot cocoa; you know the thick and creamy kind with those sweet sugary little marshmallows. I want to sit near a roaring fire with my hands wrapped around the warm cup and I want to feel the velvety heat coat my mouth and slide down my throat,” she ranted. I freaking pictured it. Thick? Creamy? Her hands wrapped around something and velvety heat coating her mouth, sliding down her throat? I was having sex with her already in my head.
“God, Grace, you can seriously make anything you say the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard.” My eyes lowered their gaze to her plump lips, and without another clear thought in my head, I unzipped her jacket. We locked eyes as I helped her slip her arms out of its sleeves. Her breath pitched. Wrapping both our jackets over us, I pulled her closer and nestled my face into her thick hair, and breathed her in deeply once more.
I slid my hands under her shirt and slowly traced my fingertips along the small of her back and up her spine. Her skin was so smooth and warm it felt like she was melting in my hands. I nestled my face in her neck and along her jawline as my own breath faltered.
She slowly slid her hands up the front of my shirt, and a soft moan escaped from between her lips. There was no way in the world I could stop myself now. I had to hear her moan like that again. I pushed myself up against her, nuzzling closer into her neck and gently pulled her into a sitting position with her legs straddling me. Her body slowly rocked against me. Holy hard-on.
She leaned her head back slightly and looked down into my eyes, and rocked her hips against me again. I raised my hand to her face and traced my thumb softly against her lower lip.
“One kiss, Grace, just one simple kiss. Baby, please,” I begged her. I needed to taste her. “Just one.” I reached up, grabbed her hair and pulled her towards my lips. Our lips were almost touching, breathing each other in as I ran my fingers lightly down her neck. Then her lips touched mine. It was barely a kiss; her lips gently brushed over mine, taking the briefest of moments to savor the intensity. Her body trembled against mine. “Damn, do you have any idea what you do to me, Grace?” My voice was low and husky, and our eyes were locked. She simply took my breath away. “Just one. Grace...”
As soon as the corners of her lips lifted slightly, I just fucking kissed her, crushing my lips to hers. She hummed deeply into my mouth. I clawed at the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head. I leaned my head back to look at her, all of her in front of me, and let out a long faltering sigh. Pulling her in, I trailed kisses over her neck and shoulders, and across her torso. Gently, I grazed her skin with my teeth, biting her softly. I could barely fucking breathe, I wanted her so much.
Gently, I tugged the cup of her bra down, taking her to my mouth and licked her in slow circular motions; her nipples hardened under my tongue. She shuddered in response.
Her fingers ran down my chest and settled on the button of my jeans, undoing them with a quick snap of her fingers. With my tongue still working her, I slid my hands over her legs, up to the button of her jeans, unbuttoning it slowly. I couldn’t stop the growls that were coming from the back of my throat. I had never wanted anyone like that before.
I tilted my head back to watch her as I laid my right hand flat against her belly and dipped my fingers slowly between the material of her panties and her skin. Her hips hitched up towards me and rocked against me. My fingers continued to travel down, ever so slightly, and I throbbed to be inside her. Our breathing amplified in the small confines of the Jeep. I caught her bottom lip between my teeth and moaned; she rocked against me again when I reached the wettest part of her lacy panties.
She slipped her hands past my waistband and gently wrapped her hands around me, grasping and tugging my rock hard skin. I closed my eyes, trying desperately to catch my breath and not explode from just her touch, like a twelve year old.
Our lips devoured each other’s again until I pulled myself away. “Please, Grace, whatever it is you’re going after, please try to find it here in me. I will try my best to be the man that you need me to be.” As soon as the words left my lips, I knew I shouldn’t have said a word. Her eyes widened as she pushed against me and leaned back.
She tore her hands out of my pants and cupped them over her swollen lips. She flailed and tried desperately to get off me. “Shane, I’m sorry,” she whimpered as her eyes filled themselves with tears. Frantically, she looked everywhere trying to find some sort of way to escape. She started the engine and blasted the heat; ice-cold air filled the small space. She squeezed her hands around the steering wheel and sobbed loudly.
Gently, I placed my hand on her chin and pulled her face towards me. “Grace, you have to know…I lost myself in you that night, lost myself somewhere in that kiss,” I said.
Tears streamed down her face as her eyes locked with mine and my words penetrated her brain. “I told you I can’t do this. I told you I was in love with someone else.”
“An ex-boyfriend, right? Not Tucker or Ethan or Blake?”
She nodded her head and I lightly wiped the tears from her cheeks with my fingertips. Thousands of thoughts seem to flicker across her face, but she said none of them. She just leaned her body back towards me like we were magnets that had been pulled apart from someone else’s hand.
“Let me help you erase his memory,” I whispered pulling her in closer to me.
I didn’t even see the slap coming, but the sting of it echoed and rattled in my skull. What the hell was that for? Aren’t ex-boyfriend’s exes for a reason?
“You cold fucking bastard! What will you erase it with, your dick? You really think sleeping with you is that fucking awesome? I love someone, Shane, with my whole heart. Don’t you understand what that means? Do you even have a heart inside that body of yours?” She cried. Thick tears poured down her face. She grabbed her shirt off the dashboard and pulled it back over her head, covering herself.
I knew better than anyone who had ever fucking walked on this God forsaken earth what love was. I had burned in hell for it. I yanked my hands back and leaned against the door, looking right into her teary eyes. “No, Grace. I don’t have a heart. I did once, but I gave it to a girl and I let her keep it when she died. That’s why I am the way I am, why every girl is just another piece of ass to me. No one has ever come close to making me feel the way she did, until no
w. Shit, Grace, I would do anything to erase her, not to feel that fucking hole in my life.”
She looked away from me, sobbing and shaking. Then, in an instant, the tears stopped and her expression hardened. “Let’s just keep trying our cells, so we can finally get out of this box, forget everything that’s happened, and move on with our lives. You can go back to your adoring Pieces of Ass, and I can go back to being alone. Everyone gets to live happily ever after.”
“Holy shit, Grace! Do you not listen to anything? Grace, that’s not a kiss I’m ever going to forget. Looking at the way I fucking make you cry, I wish like hell I could forget it, but I freaking can’t! I want you!” I grabbed her hands and pinned her wrists together to keep her from turning away from me.
“Don’t do this, Shane.”
“Why? Lie to me and tell me you don’t fucking feel the need between us,” I yelled.
“Really, Shane? You want to go there? What are you asking me for exactly? You just want me to spread eagle for you right here, let you have your way with me, get me out of your system? Then we get out of this and you get to treat me like nothing but a PIECE OF ASS? You can have a great story to tell the guys, all about how you tapped that ass stuck in a snowstorm.”
I pulled her hands closer to me. I wanted to put them against my heart, to make her feel how it beat for her.
“This is a nightmare, Shane, you and me. I woke up crying the other night thinking about how you kissed me!”
“Really, Grace? Why don’t you go ahead and ask me what wakes me up sweaty and trembling every freaking night! Go ahead, Grace, ask me!” I demanded. I pulled her even closer so our lips were almost touching. Her breathing kicked up and she struggled between looking down at my lips to kiss me and getting the hell away from me and out of the car. Getting the hell away from me won the vote.
“Get away from me, Shane,” she moaned softly, moving away. She expertly got out of my hands, which once again, caused me to wonder why she hadn’t done it sooner if she had the ability to do it all along, and she tried to yank the Jeep door open. It wouldn’t budge, so she shifted her body and kicked at it until it opened enough for her to climb out.